


Resurface

by Appleorchardbanana



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Complex relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Grown Ass Women, In Character, Lemons, Levi Isn't Magically Romantic, Levi/OC - Freeform - Freeform, Original Character(s), Slow Burn, Smut, Spoilers, Strong Female Characters, Violence, levi/reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:27:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 108,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Appleorchardbanana/pseuds/Appleorchardbanana
Summary: Garrison Captain Sloan Emery had given her life to the military for the last 16 years, moving up the ranks and surpassing many of her male comrades, running from a life she'd rather forget about. But at the tribunal for Eren Yeager, she sees a ghost from the past and realizes she'd been running from the wrong things all along.First post!
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 121
Kudos: 344





	1. Chapter 1

Garrison Captain Sloan Emery strode to the courtroom. Her walk was brisk and purposeful with her boots making a _tap tap_ cadence. She knew the way to the courtroom, though she had only been there a handful of times. As Captain of the Garrison stationed in the Hermina District, she had little to do with what was about to take place inside. Her duties were normally of a different kind: maintaining public order, capturing criminals, and protecting the public were typical in her daily life. Her soldiers in the Garrison would turn over anyone accused of breaking the law, but she rarely saw inside the courtroom where justice was dealt. But now there were whispers of a Titan helping humans. Even if her commanding officer, Dot Pixis, hadn’t called a mandatory meeting requiring all Captains to attend the tribunal, she would have been interested, to say the least.

She was running a little later than planned. Her district had been flooded with refugees in the last few days – refugees displaced from the district of Trost whenever the wall had been breached by a pair of strange Titans. One was covered in shield like muscles and rampaged through the town, laying waste to anyone or anything in its path. It had smashed through a gate in the wall like it was nothing, allowing smaller Titans to advance into the city looking for their next meal. The second was the largest Titan ever encountered, capable of towered over the walls and looking down on the people inside. That Titan had quickly and easily dispatched another of the gates in the wall in Trost. However, the most stunning and terrifying feature of either of them was the fact that they seemed so intelligent, as if they were working together and were enacting some sort of preplanned breach.

Now, her district – Hermina – was the only thing separating the townsfolk and refugees from the Titans that had flooded into Trost.

Her commanding officers would surely understand her tardiness.

She stopped just short of entering the side door to the courtroom. She pressed the front of her white button up, noting how it wasn’t as crisp as she’d like. As a high ranking woman in the military, she’d learned long ago to always look pulled together. Being a captain was hard enough, but to be a woman – everyone seemed to be looking for any excuse to pick her apart. It had steeled her, however. When others may have cracked, she only rose. She smoothed her hair back, some of the long, golden red strands having come out of her tight bun while she was running up the courthouse steps. Pulling her brown jacket around her shoulders, she opened the door and let herself in.

The door let her in to the right of the stand of Commander-in-Chief Darius Zachary. He barely registered her entrance as he scanned the noisy crowd, and she searched for a seat. She spied Commander Pixis and he patted a seat beside him that was unoccupied.

“Commander,” she said as she approached him with a salute. “I apologize for my tardiness. Hermina was –“

“Don’t even worry with it, Captain,” he said with a slight smile that just lifted the corners of his grey mustache. He tilted his head in her direction and light glinted off his bald head. “Your district is having a hell of a time right now, I’m sure. I hope your squad leaders will be able to get along without you.”

“I hope so. Maybe this won’t take so long, but I must say I am intrigued. Have I missed anything?”

With that, the large doors to the courtroom opened and a hush fell over the chatty group. Most of the audience were wearing military uniforms. The Military Police, Garrison, and Scout Regiment had officers in attendance. Across the room were members of the Merchant’s Guild and other townspeople with hands in political affairs. The back of the courtroom, where the doors were opened, common folk who were merely interested in the proceedings had gathered.

The Scout Regiment had responded quickly to the breach in the wall, and for that, Sloan and Garrison were grateful. The truth was, none of them had encountered Titans before and were ill equipped to handle an attack. When Shiganshina had been the target years before, it had been a blood bath. When the Scouts had responded, they were able to limit some of the damage and casualties.

“Step forward!” one of the guards said as he jabbed a boy in the back with a shotgun, urging him forward. The boy wasn’t a day over 16 years, if that. He wore a military trainee’s garb, a symbol of his youth and innocence, in a way. For a woman who was no longer a “spring chicken” – now an “old maid” to many in the capital – she felt a stab of motherly remorse for the young boy.

The guards on either side urged him forward, his hands bound behind his back by a pair of handcuffs. He was forced to kneel on the court floor and was secured to a large beam.

_Ah ha!_ _That must be him then,_ Sloan thought. She didn’t know much about the trial, what with her hands full in her own district, but she had heard that the titan that was helping humans happened to be a member of the military.

“Shall we begin then?” Commander-in-Chief Darius Zachary asked as he rolled up his sleeves. “Eren Yeager, is that correct?” He looked over his glasses at the boy, who nodded sheepishly in response. “You are here today for us to decide your fate. There was obviously much of an uproar when it was discovered that one of the military’s very own was somehow capable of transforming into a Titan. Now, we cannot decide what to do with you. We seem to have several opposing views. We will hear from the Military Police first.”

“Commander,” Nile Dawk, whom Sloan recognized as the commander of the Military Police, stood from his seat. “Eren Yeager is a danger to society and the world at large. We have no idea what sort of powers he possesses, where they come from, or even what he plans to do with them! His ulterior motives are yet to be seen. Though it seems he was helping in Trost, that could have been a ploy to gain our trust. This boy needs to be executed immediately, or at the very least, placed underground in a high security prison where he cannot harm anyone!”

A few whispers broke out through the crowd.

“That’s enough, Dawk,” Zachary said, waving his hand calmly at the man. Dawk took his seat, but crossed his arms over his chest. “Erwin, what do you have to say?”

The tall commander of the Scouts stood, looking solemn and without much emotion. “Our plan would be to take Eren Yeager into our custody. The Corps stays far out from the towns and we have the means to contain him if necessary. I believe we could use Eren’s abilities – we would like to see if he would be able to seal the holes in the walls of Trost and eventually Shiganshina. It would be an opportunity for us to reclaim territory from the Titans.”

“No, no, no!” This came from a man in a long, black robe. “We cannot alter the walls in any way – we cannot seal any part of them! These walls are a gift from God! To change them would be blasphemy!”

“I’m not worried about god right now! What about my business!? What about my home!?”

A this point a loud commotion began to break out through the courtroom, with everyone trying to speak at once and say their piece. Everyone seemed to have their own opinion on the correct way to go about things, but it all seemed to boil down to how afraid people were of the young boy sitting in front of them.

“Kill him!” someone shouted.

“We can’t allow a Titan to remain in the walls!”

“He may have been the one to orchestrate Trost all along!”

A gun was cocked nearby, and she looked over to see one of the Military Police aiming their gun down to where Eren Yaeger was still bound on the courtroom floor. She saw a man hop over the railing across from them and walk over to the boy.

Before anyone had time to react, the man gave the boy a swift kick to the jaw. The courtroom fell silent, but Sloan heard a _tink, tink, tink,_ as if a penny was bouncing across the floor. She looked down and what appeared to be a tooth roll to a stop on the ground. Another sharp kicked to the abdomen sent a spray of blood flying. Sloan couldn’t stifle a gasp and her hands flew to her mouth. A knee to the face followed the assault, and a rain of fists came after that.

Of course Sloan was used to violence, being Captain of the Garrison. Hell, she’d been first in hand to hand combat in her military training course and could still bring a man twice her size to his knees. For a woman less than five feet tall, she knew exactly how to make a person hurt. But she’d never seen a boy this young, chained with no way to fight, being so brutally tortured by a member of the military. The man looked so familiar… She began to feel sick to her stomach as the recognition came flooding back to her. _But he’s dead… He has to be…_

Across the room, the merchants, Wallists, and common folk were looking equally as green. Even some of the military were looking down in apprehension at the carnage that was occurring. She felt the pressure building in her chest and a heat crawling all over her back. She knew she was about to do something, but what?

“LEVI!” she shouted out, across the room. Dot Pixis turned his head slightly in her direction, but everyone else was too involved in the gruesome display to register her actions.

He heard her, however. He stopped the beating and turned to face her. If he recognized her, he showed nothing – it had been nearly 16 years, after all, but she would have recognized him anywhere. His hair, dark and hanging to his ears; his face as sharp as ever with those cut eyes. He looked impassively in her direction, then at Dot Pixis, before turning back to Eren.

“This is just my opinion,” he said, addressing the courtroom, “But I’ve always found pain the most effective punishment.” He gave the boy a few more kicks before a voice broke out.

“It’s dangerous.”

Levi gave a snort. “Aren’t you guys the ones who want to dissect him? He’s not _my_ enemy. I wonder, could any of you really kill him?”

“Commander-in-Chief, I have a proposal,” Commander Erwin Smith of the Scout Regiment called out. “Place Eren Yeager under Scout Regiment control and I will pair him with Captain Levi. We’ll use him as an asset, and with him under Captain Levi’s watchful eye we will have no difficulties. We could use him in our trips outside the wall.”

Whispers broke out across the courtroom and Zachary looked from Eren to Levi and back again.

“Then it’s settled,” Zachary said. “Eren Yeager is placed in the care of the Survey Corps.”

* * *

Sloan stood near a pillar outside the courtroom. She was out of view of the people leaving, but could still see everyone as they filed out. After Zachary gave his ruling the court erupted in conversation. He’d had to bang the gavel several times to get the crowd back under control. He gave a short speech while the guards returned to remove Eren Yeager’s cuffs, but Sloan didn’t stay to hear. She slipped back out the side door and made her way to where she presently stood.

She couldn’t believe he was alive. When he’d disappeared from the underground all those years ago, she’d thought he’d been killed – a casualty of the lifestyle. Now she knew better. Had he forgotten all about her? Or maybe never really cared in the first place.

_“Come on now, Sal,” Daddy said. Daddy was a large man with a nice round face and an even rounder belly. He had soft blue eyes that softened as he smiled at his only daughter, his only legacy. He and his wife, Mama, had been older when Sloan was born, unsure if they could even have children._

_Sloan skipped a few steps. She was the shortest girl her age, and her little legs could hardly keep up with the older man. Her arms were laden with loaves of bread; her father with a bag of the stuff carried over one shoulder. He had been a baker by profession at one time until his back went out years ago. Now, his family skimped by on what Mama made by helping the townswomen deliver their babies and helping with small illnesses – as a type of nurse. It was a small amount, but it kept them fed and clothed._

_Their modest home sat just outside of an opening to the underground. Every now and then one of the vagrants would find their way up or get a wild hair to come out of the underground, and Sal would watch with wide eyes as the Garrison would violently push them back down and resume their posts as guards._

_A few times a month Daddy would feel a little spry and would have a “good back day,” as he called it; a day bearable from the pain. On these days he and Sal would hole up in the kitchen, baking as many loaves of bread as feasible to bring down to the slums and pass out to the unfortunate souls that looked nearly starved. This was the first day that Daddy had allowed Sal to come with him. Normally she was only allowed to stand at the opening and watch his figure disappear into the darkness. She would wait for his return, sometimes entertaining the guards posted there._

_Today, she was excited to finally walk with him and see why he always baked so much bread. She couldn’t understand. People really lived down in that hole? They never ate? They never saw sunshine? Or smelled the air?_

_“Now Sal,” Daddy said in a stern voice, “Don’t leave my side, girl. And don’t look anyone in the eye.” They descended deeper into the underground and a smell began to waft under her nose. The smell of garbage and sewage was soon accompanied by the sights of dilapidated buildings, piles of garbage, and, it could have been Sal’s imagination, but she thought she saw the body of a person lying in an alley, their legs bent at impossible angles._

_“Daddy –“_

_“Just keep walking, Sal. They know where we meet.”_

_It was a concrete city. No green anywhere, with cave like ceilings. After walking for what seemed like hours and passing many people lying on the sidewalk (Sal tried to tell herself they were all sleeping, but Daddy’s grim face made her think something else), they finally reached what could have been a town square at one time_

_“The bread man’s here, everybody!” This came from a girl around Sloan’s age, but much taller. The girl must have been acting as a lookout, because people began emerging from the shadows. Women with children hiding behind their tethered skirts, men smelling like alcohol with no teeth, children with dirty faces, elderly walking forward, nearly tumbling the whole way there… Sal had never seen such a display. The girl who spoke earlier jumped down from her perch on an old street light and ran up to Sloan. She grabbed a loaf of bread off Sal’s towering heap._

_“Hiya! I’ve never met anyone with red hair like mine’s before!” the girl gave her a large grin, showing a gap with a missing tooth, before taking a bite out of the loaf. Her red hair was different from Sal’s, more orange than the red-copper of her own, but she smiled anyway._

_“Me neither,” Sal replied. “Daddy says it means good luck.”_

_“I hope so! See ya!”_

_Daddy had opened his bag and began passing out the loaves to the gracious slummers, who after taking their bread disappeared back into the shadows without words. His huge bag was soon empty, and Sal was down to her last loaf when the final person faded back into the darkness._

_“Well girl, let’s head home,” Daddy said with a smile and placed his hand on her shoulder, turning her back toward the entrance blocks away. Truthfully, Sal was so tired she wondered if he wouldn’t carry her back. She was small enough. They began to walk away, Sloan carrying her last loaf, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and came face to face with a young boy around the same age as her. They were eye to eye, him being only an inch or two taller than her. His eyes were gray and cut in angles that made him seem older beyond his years, and his dark hair was shaggy, brushing his ears. Despite living in the filth, his clothes looked unusually clean and his face wasn’t smudged with dirt like the other children’s._

_“Is there any bread left that I may have?”_

_“Yes, this is the last one,” Sloan replied and handed the loaf to him. His face remained expressionless as he accepted the gift._

_“What’s your name?”_

_“My name is Sloan,” she said with a smile. “But you can call me Sal if you want to.”_

_He gave a half smile in return, the expression not even reaching his eyes. “I’m Levi. Thanks for the bread.” He turned and walked into the darkness._

She snapped herself out of the memory as the doors to the courthouse opened. Two Military Police walked ahead, leading the way to a carriage at the bottom of the stairs. Eren Yeager followed after them, clutching at his side and wincing with each step. All the exposed skin was black and blue with bruises. He surely had at least a few cracked ribs, possibly some bones cracked in his face. He was followed by two individuals donning the wings of freedom – the symbol of the Survey Corps. A brown haired, glasses wearing female and tall blonde man helped him into the carriage before climbing in behind him. A second carriage pulled up behind them.

“Well, Captain, I suppose your display convinced Zachary,” Sal heard Commander Pixis say from behind the pillar where she was standing. “I must say, I pity anyone that underestimates you based on your size. I wouldn’t have wanted to be Yeager then.”

Sloan heard something that sounded like a snort or a grunt. “I hope everyone understands that we will not hesitate to use deadly force if necessary. On Eren or anyone else that we see as a threat.”

“But we want to see how we can use his unique abilities as well,” this was from someone just out of her eyesight, possibly Commander Erwin of the Scout Regiment.

“Of course, of course,” Sal could almost see Pixis waving his hand nonchalantly. There was a pause where she imagined him drinking out of that flask that he always carried with him. “If there is any way I can be of assistance to the cause, you know to call on me.”

“We need Scouts, Pixis. The Garrison is by far the largest division of the military. If you have anyone that you could send our way, please. We are desperate for soldiers. If we want to make any headway in this war, we will need to build our numbers.”

“I will get the word out to my people, Smith. The rest is up to them.”

“Well, I believe we will take our leave on that, Commander. Best wishes in the meantime.” She heard the sound of movement and imagined them saluting.

“Commander. Captain.”

Sloan watched their shadows as they began moving down the stairs. Her heart felt like it was about to pound out of her chest in anticipation. She shouldn’t have done this. She should have left and went back to Hermina immediately. She felt a stab of guilt when thinking of her squads, dealing with the masses of refugees while she hid behind a column at the capital waiting for one last look at Levi Ackerman. It could hold her for another 16 years.

They walked past the pillar and there he was, less than ten feet from her. When was the last time they were that close? A shudder involuntarily shook her body. He turned his head slightly her way and those piercing eyes were on hers. She felt the blood leave her face at having been seen, hiding no less. Again, if he even remembered anything of her at all, it didn’t register on his face. He faced forward again and kept walking.

She was able to hold herself up until he and Commander Erwin climbed into the carriage. Then her knees gave out and she sank to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and suggestions! I am new to the site so the additions of the tags were very helpful. I'm still trying to figure this stuff out so I do appreciate it.  
> To answer a question in the comments: yes, there are multiple chapters to this story. I made the adjustments to the "chapters" option. It is a revision of an old story I've been working on for a while so there is a lot of content that is already created and is just in the process of editing! I'm hoping to have a chapter a week up, but no less than 2 chapters/month. So, here's chapter 2!

“Who is she?” Commander Erwin said as he adjusted his bolo tie. The carriage wheels moved slowly and deliberately down the cobblestone road, bumping with every dip in the stone.

“Who?” Levi responded, using every ounce of control he had to keep his body from shaking with the urge to get one last glance. He stared straight ahead instead, trying to maintain the most neutral expression as possible.

“Well, I know who she is,” Erwin said knowingly as he watched Levi’s face. “Captain Sloan Emery of the Hermina District. But who is she to you?”

He shrugged slightly. “She looked a little familiar. Maybe we’ve met before.”

Erwin gave a small nod and looked out the window instead. “Let’s go over what we need to take care of immediately back at headquarters.”

Erwin carried on but Levi was having the worst time listening. As the carriage began moving he felt as though he would combust if he didn’t get one last look. But he kept his head forward and tried to dig his fingers into his palms. His hand was a little sore, the joints were aching from the impact of beating Eren Yeager, but he’d felt worse. He wished it hurt more, honestly – he wondered if anyone would just lay into him, really beat the shit out of him. That would certainly take his mind off her, make him push her back out of his thoughts. Maybe not the healthiest way to deal with problems, but it had gotten him this far.

_He tapped her gently on the shoulder and as she turned around he had to catch his breath before speaking. Her long copper hair, wavy and soft looking. The clearest blue eyes that shown like the sun even in the god forsaken underground._

_“Is there any bread left that I may have?” It felt like he had a ball of cotton in his mouth. What was this feeling? There were girls in the underground, but he’d never met one this pretty. She had pink, pink cheeks and pink lips that looked as soft as her hair._

_“Yes, this is the last one.” Her voice was clear as a bell chime. She extended her arm to hand him the bread. Her skin looked milky and soft, and he wondered what it would be like to hold her hand. He bet it was soft too._

_“What’s your name?” The words escaped him before he could even process._

_“My name is Sloan,” she said and smiled at him. He felt something inside melt. “But you can call me Sal if you want to.” He tried to smile back, but couldn’t find the right muscles. When was the last time he had tried?_

_“I’m Levi. Thanks for the bread.” Without saying anything else, he turned and walked into the darkness, leaving her standing in the center of the town._

_He scaled the building and climbed onto the roof, looking down on the girl – Sal – and her father, the bread man. They stood a moment longer before turning and walking down the cement road. Levi followed them from the roof tops, watching. He jumped from roof to roof, eyes darting back and forth, looking for any sign of danger. She was small, like him. But he was proud to say he was taller. That was the first time he’d seen anyone his own age smaller than him. Her short legs didn’t carry her very fast, so she would do a little skip to catch up every few steps. Her hair bounced in a cascading fall of waves with each skip, somehow catching light that didn’t exist in the underground._

_He felt as though he held his breath the entire way back to the opening. Once he saw her form disappearing up the stairs ahead of the bread man he let out a sigh of relief. Something was tight and relaxed all at once inside of his stomach. He’d never had a feeling like this before. He dropped down from the roof and walked back, pondering this new emotion._

* * *

“Commander!”

Dot Pixis turned to the sound of the voice. “Captain Sloan, I thought you’d be on your way back to Hermina District by now.”

She gave a lazy salute as the mention of the district cut through her like a knife. _Her_ district, where she lived and had grown to know the townsfolk. Where her infantrymen and women lived and worked and patrolled. The place she’d called home for the last seven years.

“Yes, I’m sorry to catch you off guard. I would like to speak with you in private and confidence.”

“Of course, Sloan. Let’s go up to my quarters and we can have a little chat, maybe have a bite to eat before you head back.”

They slowly made their way a few blocks down the street to the Garrison headquarters, chatting a bit about the weather and the bustling city. They entered the building and climbed the stairs to his suite, walking into the general sitting room.

“Go ahead and have a seat. I’ll grab some glasses.”

Sloan took a seat in one of the dark green armchairs sitting around a small chess table. She’d sat there before, when he’d challenged her to a game. She always won. She wasn’t sure if he were letting her, or if he were really not that great. Or, perhaps, just too drunk.

Two crystal glasses were set down onto the table, and Pixis poured two finger widths of an amber liquid inside. He raised his glass to her.

“To new, unexpected futures,” he said. She touched her glass to his before taking a sip. He sat down in the seat across from her. “What did you think of the tribunal?”

“It was very interesting. Even after all the time in the Garrison, I’ve never seen a trial, and much less one of that nature. Do they always go like that?”

“No, no,” he said with a light laugh. “Everyone was certainly very animated during that display. There was much more at stake than a simple thievery or falsification. Though, it’s not unusual to see the Military Police and the Scouts at such odds.”

“So they fight pretty frequently then?”

“They’ve always been polar opposites. No matter who has been commander, they’ve never quite seen eye to eye. I believe they’re both threatened by each other to some degree. The Military Police does hold more power generally. Everyone wants to transfer there. Seems to be the easy way out. But they’re so prone to corruption – you know, of course, based on your time there.”

She nodded slowly. It was a time she had pushed out of her mind, trying to forget.

“But they know the Corps are the most skilled. If they wanted to, the Regiment could fly in here at any moment and completely decimate the MPs and the Garrison as well. Hell, it would probably only take Captain Levi to take care of the most of them. The MPs don’t like that, don’t trust them. The Corps pretty much keep to themselves.”

The name shot through her like electricity. “So, Levi, the one who was, er, _beating_ Eren Yeager at the tribunal?”

“Yes, of course. You’ve heard of him before, right? Humanity’s strongest soldier.”

The truth was, despite being in the military for as long as she had, she didn’t get involved in the affairs much, and she definitely hadn’t had much interaction with the Scout Regiment. She would have noticed sooner that he was the Captain, if she’d only paid more attention.

“He’s really not a fan of the Military Police. But I guess he’s not really a fan of anything.” Pixis looked contemplative for a moment. “I’m sorry, I’ve droned on for a while. Was there something specific you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, Commander,” she said. This was it. A thought she’d only had for hours, about to become tangible when she said it aloud. “I was so inspired by the tribunal.” Yes, that was it, appeal to his sense of inspiration. “This Titan business, I mean, it’s very interesting, right?”

“I suppose so. Very dangerous. But best to stay aware.”

“Right,” she nodded. “I think this is something that greatly effects the public. And I’m concerned…”

“As we all should be. We may be on the cusp of something big.”

“I just feel that, maybe it would be a good time for me to step back from my duties in the Garrison, and perhaps utilize my expertise and talents elsewhere.”

He stilled then, watching her carefully. “What are you asking, Sloan?”

“I would like to transfer to the Scout Regiment.”

“Absolutely not.” He stood from his seat and turned to walk away from her, unwilling to listen to another word.

“Please, Commander,” she pleaded and skipped behind him. “Just listen, I feel that my skills would be better –“

“You’ve already transferred from the Military Police, now you’re asking to transfer to the Survey Corps?”

“The Military Police are pigs, Commander. You can’t blame me for leaving. I’ve spent a lot of time with the Garrison. How long has it been? Seven years? Eight? It’s time to move to something else.”

“People don’t transfer _into_ the Corps, Sloan! They transfer out if they can! Or they die while they’re there.”

“I understand, but I –“

“You are my best Captain. You could be my successor one day!” Pixis’s face was becoming reddened. She’d never seen him like this before.

“Commander Pixis,” She softened her voice, “I’m a woman. I have reached my limit here. A female Commander is unheard of. I have enjoyed working under you, but I feel the real war is with the Titans outside of the Walls.”

He shook his head. “Sloan. You are like a daughter to me. I can’t condone this. It’s a death wish!”

“I have no family, no ties left here. Let me go where I can at least live the remainder of my life feeling as though I have given to the cause!”

He looked over her face as if calculating something complicated. It was true the Commander had become a sort of father figure to her. Daddy had been murdered on one of their trips to the underground several years after she’d started accompanying him. Mama had died a few years after, her health declining since Daddy’s passing. Sloan had gone into Military training because she had no other options. She’d been first in her class and gone into the Military Police before realizing it just wasn’t for her – her role was one she tried to forget, stifling the memories and trying her best to never dream again of what she’d seen and done. She transferred to the Garrison, where she could work with real people. Pixis had helped mentor her and helped her ascend to Captain. But the truth was, she was floating through life. She was an excellent Captain and her subordinates respected her, but she was going through the motions. For the first time in years – no, decades – she felt invigorated, alive!

“You wouldn’t change your mind if I promoted you? I’ve been thinking about it for a while, now. Your skills are valuable. To us. To me. To humanity.”

“I haven’t used my skills in years,” she gave a dry laugh. “I sneak out at night just to use my 3D maneuvering gear. I’m not challenged anymore here. I want to move on.”

He looked over her carefully, as if he were calculating percentages in his mind, weighing the checks and balances.

“Go to Hermina and choose your successor. I’ll complete the paperwork for your transfer. I’ll send word to Commander Erwin. Bring one person with you to assist with the transfer.”

She saluted and felt tears spring to her eyes. “Thank you, Commander Pixis.”

He reached out and clapped her on the shoulder before walking away.

* * *

She jumped on her horse and rode as fast as she could to Hermina.

_Jackson will succeed me. He will be an excellent Captain. Bryson will come with me, surely. That leaves them out two leaders, but Jackson knows what to do._ Everything was already planned out by the time she came galloping through the gates. The sun was setting as she knocked on Jackson Daniels’ door. His wife answered, her pregnant belly leading her.

“Oh, Captain Sloan, is everything alright?” Worry crossed her sweet features. “It’s so late…”

“Everything is fine, I was wondering if I could speak with you and Jackson for a brief moment.” Mrs. Daniels directed Sloan to the table and had her seated before calling for her husband, a gruff, dark haired man nearing 40 years. He saluted his Captain before taking a seat across from Sloan.

“I have some shocking news; I’m afraid it’s very sudden,” she took a deep breath, nervous to break the news to her subordinate, and hopeful successor. “I am transferring out of the Garrison and would like to have you named as Captain, if you would accept,” Sal explained. His jaw dropped open and gaped a few times before responding.

“Transferring where, Captain, if I may ask?”

“To the Scout Regiment,” she said, knowing what his reaction would be.

“Captain, please don’t do this. With all due respect, it’s a suicide mission. All our squads love serving under you. I can’t accept –“ Sloan waved her hand to cut him off.

“It’s already been decided. I’ve spoken with Commander Pixis. He is sending word to Commander Erwin Smith at this moment. I plan to carry Bryson with me, to help me in the transition, if he’ll agree. I’ve already made this decision, and I made it with no regrets. The only thing left is to get you to succeed me as Captain.”

“I’m sure Bryson will agree to accompany you. He’s always had quite the soft spot,” He stroked his beard while looking across the table at his Captain. “There’s no reasoning with you Sloan!” he said with a dry laugh and the shake of his head. He stood up abruptly, giving the most perfect salute he could muster. “I accept the terms of this new posting and send the best of luck with my Captain.”

Sloan stood as well, the tall man shadowing her, and returned the salute. “And best of luck to you, Captain Jackson.” She was wrapped in a huge bear hug and lifted off the ground.

A few moments later, Sloan was leaving the Daniels residence. She jumped on her horse and began riding, knowing the way easily. Bryson was one of her squad leaders and a loyal and close friend. A trusted confidante, he had stood by her side through hellish days and poor decisions, remaining devoted even when she couldn’t understand how or why. He was honest, she knew, and she valued his strategic mind. She pulled her hood over her head as rain began to fall. She tied her horse outside his quaint home before splashing her way to his front door. It was a small, cozy home. Despite being smart, loyal, and handsome, he remained ever the bachelor. Now, in his early 30s when most men were feverishly searching for a wife, he seemed content to live alone.

Sal knocked loudly on his door, hoping to be heard over the rain. A few moments later, Bryson answered. He was nearly six feet of muscle, with dark hair and an olive complexion. He was wearing a pair of linen pants but no shirt, obviously not expecting any guests. He was eating out of a jar of what looked to be preserves.

“Captain!” he said hurriedly and nearly dropped his snack in his haste to salute. “I didn’t expect anyone, least of all you!”

“Nice to see you too, Bryson!” she said and gave him a slap on the chest, making a loud smack against his bare flesh. “Move so I can get out of this rain!” Sloan let herself in, pushing past him. “I’m sorry to barge in on you like this, but I have unexpected news.” She paused then to look at him. His face was round and childlike, despite his age. He looked rapt with emotion, listening carefully to her every word. The two people she’d told of her plan so far had basically told her she’d signed her death certificate. How could she expect him to do the same?

“I attended the military tribunal of Eren Yeager today. Have you heard of him?” Bryson slowly shook his head. “Eren is a young man who can turn into a Titan. He is a military trainee and has been handed over to the Survey Corps to be utilized outside of the walls using his Titan powers.

“While I was listening to the tribunal, I became aware that this post – here in the Garrison – is not somewhere I want to stay forever. I’ve transferred from the Military Police, and I’m grateful to be in the Garrison, but now I feel it’s time to move on, to go further. I feel I would impact more people if I were to join the Survey Corps. They need more soldiers there. I feel this is the time – I have to act. I’ve spoken with Commander Pixis and I will be transferring to the Scout Regiment. I leave in the morning. He told me to request an escort, someone to accompany me and transfer as well. I would like for you to come with me. I know it’s sudden and dangerous and I understand if you can’t…”

He too, looked like he was going to swallow a fly. He set his food down to give a proper salute, even dropping down onto one knee. “My Captain, I am your servant, and I will follow you wherever you need me.”

She felt tears spring to her eyes. “Bryson, I knew I could count on you,” she placed her hands on his shoulders and urged him back up. When he stood next to her, he towered nearly a foot over her. “You are one of my best Squad Leaders, and a good friend. I would be honored to venture into this next chapter with you. Now, start packing. I’ll leave you to it; we’ll leave first thing in the morning.”


	3. Chapter 3

Erwin’s eyes didn’t miss a single detail as Sloan felt him size her up and down. Blue eyes flashed from her Garrison jacket to her fist over her chest to the red bun on the top of her head, finally landing on the long discoloration on her neck. _The scar._

“I must say, when I spoke with Commander Pixis about needing more men, I didn’t think he’d send me one of his most senior Captains and one of her own, hand-picked officers,” Commander Erwin said, blinking as he seemed to realize he’d been staring at her neck for a beat too long. “You may drop your salutes.”

They’d ridden all morning to get to the headquarters where the Survey Corps was currently stationed. Erwin had no idea they’d been travelling there. She’d only told Pixis the night before – not soon enough for him to send word. It was sudden. As people kept reminding her, people didn’t transfer _into_ the Corps, they were typically trying to get out.

“I am here to serve the Regiment,” Sloan said. “I feel that’s where I will be best used at this time. I’ve spent many years in the Garrison, but I have so much more to offer –“

Erwin held up his hand. “You don’t have to do this self-promotion. Pixis spoke highly of you, even before this. He’d mentioned you on more than one occasion. You were one of his top Captains. He raved about you, like you were his pride and joy. I’m surprised he let you go, but we could certainly use someone like you. I know that you graduated top of your class during training, and you spent some time in the Military Police before transferring to the Garrison. It seems that our numbers grow smaller with each recruitment. The sad truth is, no one wants to join because of the danger. Our main focus is expanding beyond the walls and discovering more about the Titans. We can’t do that without Scouts and strong leaders. Yes, we could certainly find somewhere to put you and your squad leader – Bryson White, was it?”

“Yes, sir,” Bryson responded with a nod.

There was quite the shift turn around in the decision making. It had been much easier than Sloan could have imagined. The hardest part was breaking the news to Pixis and asking for him to approve the transfer. She still felt guilty when she thought of the look he’d had on his face when she told him she wanted to leave the Garrison. It was a mix of horror and betrayal. She’d wanted to tell him it was nothing personal. Instead she’d made up some ridiculous dribble about wanting to _utilize her expertise and talents._ The truth was that she needed to see him again, to speak to him again. It had been so long. He was like a walking ghost, and she had to rediscover him. 

“I’ve brought a gift for you,” Sloan said and pulled a small, cloth wrapped tin from her bag. “As a token of our partnership. It’s tea from the Capital.” 

Erwin smirked as he unwrapped the cloth to appreciate the tin. He turned it over in his hand, admiring the intricate designs of the metal. “When was the last time you used 3D Maneuvering Gear, Captain Sloan?”

* * *

“So, I heard you were interested in Titan research?”

Sloan looked up from her belt, pausing the work she was doing to connect the 3D maneuvering gear. A woman was slowly walking toward her, her arms swinging with animation. She was over a half foot taller than Sloan – though that wasn’t unusual – with a bushy brown pony tail and thick glasses.

“Hange Zoe, Squad Leader,” she said with a wave of her hand. “Captain Sloan Emery, Commander Erwin briefed us on your transfer. Anytime you would like to accompany me to see the research we are conducting on the Titans, I’d be happy to introduce you. In fact, we currently have two subjects, Sonny and Bean –“

“Give it a rest, Hange,” this was from a tall, blonde haired male nearly three times Sloan’s size. He approached her and gave a sniff. “Mike Zacharias, Squad Leader. Welcome aboard. We’ve been told you will train to be one of our fellow Squad Leaders. We will, of course, still address you as Captain.”

Commander Erwin had explained to Sloan that although she had the rank of Captain, since that position in the Corps was already filled by Levi, she would act as a Squad Leader after extensive training. They would still address her as Captain, however, out of respect for her service and skill.

“You may call me Sloan, if you’d like. It’s much faster to say, if in a hurry,” She responded with a smile.

“I’m Ness, fellow Squad Leader.” Ness had brown hair barely sticking out of a white cloth he had wrapped around his head. They all wore the Scout Regiment uniform and were attaching their own 3D gear to their belts. They looked Sloan up and down, trying to be discreet, but sizing her up all at once. “You’re a small little thing.”

“Dynamite comes in small packages,” she responded with a warm smile.

“And who is this?” They all looked back at Bryson, who was clumsily figuring out the gear, showing his inexperience with the machinery. Garrison members didn’t have much use for the 3D equipment and rarely ever used any.

“This is Bryson White, my friend and one of my Squad Leaders from Hermina District. He was kind enough to agree to join the Corps with me.”

“Welcome to both of you,” Ness said, giving them both a nod and a slight smile. “Are we ready to ride out?” It was nearing sundown and they were going to ride out to a group of trees nearby and allow Sloan and Bryson to reacquaint themselves with the gear out of the prying eyes of the recruits. It was important for them to be assets to the group, and not cannon fodder. It was one of Sloan’s fears that they would be eaten on their first expedition outside of the walls, without ever having found closure in joining the Corps. Not to mention the sheer embarrassment she would feel.

The Squad Leaders and Sloan gathered up their horses and mounted, riding east for about half an hour. They were still safely inside the walls, but the Leaders were ever vigilant, eyes darting back and forth, always aware of their surroundings. A grouping of trees, not a forest, but with trees tall enough to open the gear, came into view. Zacharias was the first to let his gear fly, not even dismounting before his gear latched onto a tree and pulled him through the air. Hange was next, and Ness followed quickly after.

Sloan felt the excitement building as she felt her own lines shoot forward and she flew behind, the wind blowing past her ears. This was the first time in _years_ that she’d used the gear with a group. As a Captain in the Garrison, there was little need to ever use it. Sure, she would _borrow_ it some nights to fly around the city – to keep her skills sharp, she would say if she was ever caught – but no one ever really saw her. Flying through the trees with her new comrades was almost a dream. She let herself go, flying from tree to tree with no cares. She looked behind to find Bryson and saw him bringing up the rear – he probably hadn’t used the gear since recruit training. While looking behind she saw she’d passed Hange. Next was Ness, then Mike as she pushed herself forward faster, swifter, making herself cut through the air like an arrow. She didn’t even notice when the other Leaders stopped to rest on a limb.

And she didn’t notice they were all talking about how her techniques seemed so familiar.

* * *

Levi stared into the fire. He sat in one of the chairs pulled over from the table, probably sitting too close, but he liked the way it burned. He knew _she_ was somewhere on the premises but hadn’t gone looking for her. He wasn’t avoiding her, just not actively searching. Any other Captain would have sought out his new comrade, but he wasn’t just any Captain. No one expected him to cheerfully welcome a new recruit. It just wasn’t him, no matter who the new member was or what role they would play. Or who they were in a different life.

He sipped his tea. She was exactly as he remembered. Had she aged any at all? Of course, she had. Instead of being a young, pretty, clueless teenager, she had grown into a confidant, beautiful woman. She was as tiny as ever – not an inch over five feet and probably less than 100 pounds. He lamented that he didn’t get to see her hair as it was pulled tight into that stupid bun on top of her head, but he’d seen the way the light had reflected off of it – copper, with shades of red, blonde, and brown all blending together. Eyes still huge and blue. When he locked eyes with her outside of the courthouse he was transported back to the underground, like he was looking at her again for the first time.

So that was the path she’d taken after they’d parted ways. He’d kept so much to himself – and cared so little for most things going on around him – he never realized she was in the military, much less that she’d made the advancements she had. He suspected – or hoped – she had settled down long ago, had a nice, quiet, comfortable life. Since she’d risen to Captain of the Garrison, she’d obviously worked hard. And she couldn’t have taken a husband or had children when she was working that hard. Levi pondered that thought for a moment before shaking it out of his mind. He had no business entertaining any thoughts of her marital status.

No, he had no intention of even acknowledging they had known each other before. He honestly had no idea why she would have ever transferred into the Corps at all. After he saw her outside the tribunal, he had done some stealthy investigating and had seen her rise through the ranks. She’d been at the top of her cadet class and had chosen the Military Police as her branch after graduation. The documentation of her time there wasn’t clear. It seemed like there were parts and pieces missing – she’d gone through promotions, but there wasn’t any mention of the actions that qualified her for the promotions. It was all beginning to seem a little sketchy to him, when she transferred to the Garrison after around seven years with the MPs. She’d been with them ever since.

But there was still no explanation as to why she would make the sudden change to the Survey Corps. No one wanted to transfer in, but then again, no one ever wanted to transfer out of the Military Police, and it seemed she’d already done that.

Maybe she had a suicide mission. Whatever the cause, he wasn’t interested. She could come and be cannon fodder if she wanted; it made no difference to him.

He heard the thumping of boots coming down the hall accompanied by Hange Zoe’s voice, talking some shit about those Titans she’d been studying. A rolling laugh that Levi identified as Ness’s carried through the air as the door to the kitchen opened.

“I wonder what Bean is doing right now, actually,” Hange’s voice carried through the open door as the group walked in. “He is the night owl of the two – ah! Levi! He can explain how interesting the research is!”

He answered her statement with a glare and examined the group. Mike, Ness, and Hange accompanied by _her_ and her lackey from Hermina. They all wore the 3D maneuvering gear.

“Levi, have you met our new recruit, Captain Sloan?” Ness asked.

He gave a slight incline of his head as he continued his cold glare over his teacup.

“This is the way he normally says ‘hi’,” Hange translated. It was true – he’d never been one for common courtesies or niceties, even years ago. Anyone else would probably be startled by how closed off he seemed – even his body language, with his legs crossed and his shoulders tense, the light from the fire creating frightening planes on his face, screaming not to come close; but he wasn’t interested in fuzzy feelings and would remain as he was to stay disconnected: forever unapproachable, cold, and downright rude at times.

Mike walked over to the cupboard and rooted through some things, pulling out a bottle of an amber liquid.

“Why not a drink to celebrate our new comrades?” He pulled out 6 small cups and began filling each one. “How about a drink for you, Captain?”

“No,” Levi and Sloan answered simultaneously. He could see a slight pink color her cheeks even in the dim light.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Of course, you meant him.”

“I figured you would have a drink with us, Sloan. Levi hardly ever drinks,” Mike clarified. “I thought maybe you could tell us a little more about yourself and your background, and your time in the Military Police and the Garrison.”

“And also, Captain Sloan, I am quite curious about this battle scar you have here,” Hange said, never one to be tactful or too sensitive.

Levi looked at her more carefully than he had. He hadn’t noticed anything too different about her when he’d seen her previously. But, then again, he hadn’t had time to study her without seeming too obvious. Her face was the same – round and sweet, with her rosy cheeks and milky skin. Her nose was small and rounded, ger lips full and pink. Her eyes were round and blue like always. But then his eyes fell on her neck and he saw what Hange was talking about. Even in the dim lighting he could see the way the candlelight glinted off a silver scar cut horizontally on the right side of her neck.

“Actually, I’m feeling quite tired. It’s been a very eventful day; I think I would like to take my leave. Maybe I can tell you all about me some other time. It’s probably nearly midnight…”

“Another time then,” Mike said, pouring himself a cup. “Everyone else still up for a drink?”

“Sure!” exclaimed Bryson.

“Count me in as well,” Ness said.

“Just one drink, I need to check on Sonny and Bean before much longer.”

* * *

Sal turned and walked out of the room without a second glance at Levi. The door swung shut behind her and she leaned against the wall catching her breath. She’d felt the intensity of his stare as he’d studied her after Hange had mentioned her scar. She hadn’t quite been expecting anyone to mention it so soon, but she’d received it so many years ago she barely even registered it anymore. His eyes on her, however; that was something she wasn’t used to.

She slowly started making her way up to the room she’d been shown earlier. Her room was almost directly over the kitchen, so she heard the laughter drifting up from between the baseboards. A small candle flickered on the dresser in her room. She let her hair out of the bun, brushed her hair and removed her jacket while waiting for the chatter to die down and the door to close, signaling they’d all retired for the evening.

She placed her brush down and found her bag. Digging through its contents, she pulled out a tin identical to the one she’d given Commander Erwin earlier that day. The metal of the tin glinted in the candlelight as she wrapped it in the cloth and walked back out of her room down to the kitchen.

She stopped with her hand on the door, trying to calm the fluttering of her heart. From inside she heard the floorboards creaking in a fashion that suggested he was pacing. She waited a moment longer, feeling the cool metal through the cloth as she debated waiting for him to sit back down. The creaking stopped momentarily, and she opened the door before she lost her nerve.

His back was to her as he stared into the fire, his hands clasped behind his back, free from the teacup sitting on the mantle. His clothing was wrinkle free and impeccably clean. He still had on his uniform pants and shirt, the sleeves rolled up his forearms. She took a moment to admire the lines of the muscles of his forearms, long and lean. She didn’t dally too long, however. She knew he was aware someone else was in the room and would turn soon. He never let anyone at his back for too long, even in a safe place such as this.

“Captain,” she started, surprised at how even her voice was. He turned to face her, releasing his hands and letting them rest at his side. She took a few steps toward him and fumbled with the tin before extending it to him. “I brought something for you and the Commander. A goodwill gift, I guess you could say.”

He closed the distance between them with a few steps. His face was so shadowed that she couldn’t make out any expression he may have had – if any at all. He reached out and took the item from her palm without touching her skin. As he unwrapped the cloth from the tin Sloan felt oddly exposed. What would he do? She figured it depended on if he remembered her, which he’d given no indication that he did. Would he simply say, “thank you” and turn back to the fire? Maybe he would lecture her for approaching a male officer so late in the evening. He could accuse her of soliciting him.

He popped the top off the tin and examined the contents. In the dark she wasn’t sure what he could see.

“It’s tea,” she said, still tiptoeing on unsteady ground. “From the Capital. It’s quite a popular commodity from what I’ve been told–“ She was cut short when she saw his arm shaking. She hurriedly looked at his face, but the shadows still veiled him. She watched in horror as his hand tightened around the tin, the tendons and veins of his forearm bulging from the pressure. The sound of twisting metal seemed like an explosion in her ears.

“No, no, no,” she said as the tea leaves started to spill out while the metal folded over itself. She desperately grasped at the tea leaves, but they seemed to slip right through her fingers. She looked at her hands and thought of how silly she must look, grappling at the tiny raining leaves. A drop of blood appeared in the palm of her hand and she looked in confusion at the tin. The metal had bent and sliced right through his palm.

“Oh, Captain,” she said shakily. He stopped squeezing and turned to the fire. With a nonchalant twist, smooth as if throwing a ball, Sloan watched in slow motion as he tossed the tin into the fire and walked past her out of the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

_She peered around the corner. The night sky was clear, the moon lighting a path and casting plenty of shadows for her to hide in. At night only one guard kept post at the opening to the underground. She knew this from countless experiences before. She felt relaxed in the dark now. Even the Underground didn’t frighten her anymore – something he warned her against._

_“Don’t get too comfortable here, Sal,” he’d told her before. “You don’t belong here. You belong up above, in the sun. Always be aware. Don’t let anyone at your back.”_

_She was the light, and he was the dark. He tried often to remind her that there were things in the Underground that she couldn’t understand, that she had no perspective for. Dangers lurked in the dark that weren’t present in the light._

_The guard was leaning against the wall, fast asleep. A snore even escaped him occasionally. She pulled the cloak tighter around her small frame and tip-toed quietly past him and down the stairs to the underground, careful not to disturb any crumbling pebbles. The cement stairs were becoming dilapidated, but no one cared to repair them. People weren’t concerned for the safety of people venturing down into the Underground or for the scum trying to come up and out. Sloan had been down enough times to know exactly where to step, however, and her footing was sure. The stairs deposited her at the entrance to the underground, where she’d travelled hundreds of times in the past few years. Whether she was carrying bread down with Daddy or sneaking out between those visits, she’d seen more of the underground than most of the Military Police ever would._

_He wasn’t waiting at the entrance for her like he usually was. She began walking forward, thinking she must have been early. She had to admit, the underground at night was scarier without her escort. Her cloak clung to her as if it were trying to comfort her. Every noise sounded amplified – the laugh of a lunatic in an alleyway, a baby crying in a dumpster, the breaking of glass or an occasional gunshot, the flapping of bat wings. She felt a breeze touch her face, curious where the wind would come from down there._

_Before she could react, that breeze was coming back for her, and this time she was lifted off the ground and sailing through the air. Strong arms circled her, and she breathed in his scent, knowing she had nothing to fear. The_ click _and_ swish _of the maneuvering gear accompanied them as they cut through the air like the birds outside of the walls._

_Her cloak blew back and her hair escaped, trailing behind them like fire. She threw her head back and laughed with glee, feeling the freedom of the flight. They flew like that for what seemed like the blink of an eye, though in reality it was a half an hour. Him holding her close, her laughing at the experience of flying on his dark wings yet again._

_He stopped on the rooftop and lowered her feet to the stone roof. Her mouth was wide with a grin as she looked into his eyes. He never really smiled back, but there was a warmth there that she’d come to recognize over the last several years as the closest thing to a smile he could give. He held on to her waist a moment longer than necessary before breaking the contact and opening the roof hatch, revealing stairs leading down._

_“Should we go see what Isabel and Furlan are doing?” he asked her before gesturing for her to go inside._

* * *

Levi wrapped his hand with a cotton bandage as he stared out the window. It was nearly daybreak and he hadn’t slept at all. The dark circles under his eyes really weren’t that out of the ordinary, so no one would notice. Not that anyone would mention it, either way. He didn’t exactly welcome small talk.

Word had spread quickly that a captain from the Garrison had joined them suddenly. After he’d seen her after the tribunal, he’d prayed she didn’t recognize him. It had been years since his disappearance. Surely, wherever she was and whatever she was doing, she had moved on and forgotten about him. Any hope of him believing that fallacy had vanished when he spotted her spying on him from behind the pillars of the courthouse.

The recognition was plain on her face. Not only that, but confusion, followed by betrayal. Where had he been all these years? And why did he leave without saying goodbye? The questions were obvious on her face. She never had been good at concealing her emotions.

What the hell had she been planning? He did hate that he’d wasted the tea, but maybe if he pretended not to remember her, or was just unbelievably cruel, she would transfer back to the Garrison. What other option was there? That he would accept her and wrap her in his arms, carry her up to his bed and have his way with her as if no time had passed? Damn women. Always romanticizing him. They were all the same.

Except this was Sal. Maybe he could trick her into thinking he’d forgotten, but he remembered her too well.

He was fooling himself if he thought he could lump her in with the rest of them. Sweet Sal. With her soft, red hair and big blue eyes. She would always tug at his heart strings. He didn’t want to leave the underground to join the Survey Corps when he was captured by Erwin and Mike. He ruled the underground back then – sure, he was a criminal, but whatever he wanted was his. And he was on his way to make Sal his queen when they dragged him above ground and shipped him out, no chance to even tell her goodbye. But maybe it was best that way, a clean cut to the ties.

Life had been bearable when he had finally convinced himself she had moved on and was living a quiet and comfortable life with someone else. It wasn’t easy to convince himself at first. For years afterwards he would go into a rage thinking she must have died – she was always too careless in the underground for his comfort. She would hop down the steps, practically radiating the warmth and light of the sun, sticking out like a sore thumb. She didn’t know how to hide in the Underground, and she had commanded attention with her childish innocence, a rare commodity in a dark and twisted world. Imagining what the scum of the underground would have done to her – with her pretty pink lips and milky, soft skin – was enough to drive him insane. Worst of all was the thought she would have been killed searching for him down there on one of the excursions she often took. He should have dissuaded her sooner; shouldn’t have kept on the charade that they were together – that they _could_ be together. Their lives were too different. Trying to force either of them into the opposite world would never have worked. He looked down at his hand and saw blood soaking the cotton, the wound splitting open from his tightly clenched fist.

He placed his hands on the windowsill and dropped his head, for once not caring that he would leave a blood print on the clean wood. No, the only way to get rid of Sal would be to send her running back to Hermina. The Sloan he knew was stubborn, and if she were the same, it would be exhausting work to get rid of her. There was no place for her in the Corps – it was practically a death sentence, and one he couldn’t watch idly. He would hate himself at the end of it all, when he finally ran her off; he already did when he thought of the look on her face as he crushed that tea can. It was as if it were her heart in his hands, instead of that tea.

She still knew him too well.

* * *

“Good morning,” Mike greeted Sloan outside the next morning. “You’re up early.” He grabbed a bucket and walked toward the well.

“Didn’t sleep too well actually,” she replied as she brushed Apple’s mane inside the horse’s stall. “First time in a new place, and all.” The sun was just beginning to break the horizon, but the truth was she couldn’t spend another minute inside the headquarters. She’d tossed and turned when she’d finally climbed into the bed. Maybe didn’t even sleep a minute.

Her mind had been a flurry of confusion and emotions from the moment she’d seen him. She’d done such a good job of convincing herself that he was dead that when she saw him it was like seeing a ghost. She almost would have preferred seeing him as a ghost compared to what she had been going through since seeing him. There would certainly have been less questions. Why did he leave so suddenly? How long had he been planning it? How long had he been gone? Was he avoiding her before then? Was there no way to contact her at all? To tell her he was alright? To say he was sorry he couldn’t tell her goodbye? To explain to her that he hadn’t wanted to leave her? That they would still be together otherwise?

Had she meant nothing to him?

Maybe she never did, and he left to join the survey corps because he never wanted to see her again. He wanted to forget she ever existed.

And maybe he had forgotten. He certainly hadn’t shown any sign of recognizing her, though he was always good at hiding what he was thinking.

But why did he crush that tin? If he didn’t remember her, wouldn’t he have been more apathetic? Wouldn’t it have been easier to take the tea from her, say “thank you,” and just throw it away later? Maybe he was sending her a message. He wanted to assert his position as alpha male. The presence of another Captain had him worried. No, he wouldn’t worry about that. He was confident in his abilities, always. Maybe he did remember her. Maybe there was another woman.

The thought shot through her chest like a bullet, exploding with shrapnel. Was he trying to send her a message? _Get back, I’m spoken for._

“Captain Sloan?”

She shook her head, trying to jar herself out of her thoughts. “Sorry, the lack of sleep must be getting to me.”

“I said breakfast will be served in the dining hall shortly, if you’re about finished. I’ll show you there.”

“Thanks, Mike.” She placed the brush on a shelf in the horse stall and dusted her hands. “Let’s go.”

He led her inside a large building nearby. It was just beginning to brim with energy as tired looking soldiers and recruits began filing in, some still wiping the sleep from their eyes. Mike showed her the line to select her food and drink, and they both grabbed bowls of porridge and sat down at a table. Mike nodded down the rows at the fellow team leaders, saying good morning to Ness, Hange, and Bryson. Mike nodded at someone on the end and Sloan felt herself freeze a bit as she saw Levi sitting on the end. He’d skipped the porridge, Sloan noticed, opting instead for a single cup of tea.

“Captain Sloan, I was thinking of showing Eren Yeager my work with Sonny and Bean this evening if you’d like to join us!” Hange said as she sat down her bowl with a _thud!,_ almost spilling the contents. “I am always looking for new and captive audiences!”

“I would be very pleased to join you,” Sloan replied, hoping she sounded sincere and not as stiff as she felt. “I am very interested in Titan research. I actually transferred here with the hope of learning more.”

“I would like to come as well, Squad Leader,” Bryson chimed in.

Hange squealed with glee. “It’s so hard to find attentive people these days!” She went on to talk about the differences she’d seen in Sonny and Bean and the headway she was making in testing pain theories. Sal smiled at her as she blabbered on and on, taking in the look of Hange’s mad scientist glasses and her oily, unkempt hair. Sloan thought that she liked Hange. She was strange, but passionate, and likeable.

“After breakfast we were planning to take all the new recruits out and see their stuff – you know, see where some may need extra help or where others may excel,” Mike said.

“Sounds good! Before yesterday I hadn’t really flown with the 3D gear like that in… well, it must’ve been since training,” Sal trailed off. “Well, not legally, at least.” She laughed. “And the blades – we usually carried guns in the districts. More worried about other humans than Titans, I guess.”

“Understandable,” Ness said.

“Killing a Titan is nothing after you’ve had to put down one of your own kind,” Levi said from behind his teacup, eyes dark as ever as they peered at her. Everyone sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment as Sal pondered the fact that those were the first words she’d heard from him in nearly two decades.

“Levi has a point,” Hange said. “For most people at least.”

* * *

_“Cadet Sloan!” the instructor called out as Sloan palmed the wooden blades, feeling them and letting the memories flow. “You’re holding those blades wrong. This is correct.” He showed her the way he held his, so the blades lead forward. Sloan looked down at how she held the handles. The blade in her right hand faced forward in the “correct” position, while she held the one in her left hand with the blade facing backwards. “The correct way will allow for faster speed and depth.”_

_“Would it be alright for me to try both ways?” She asked._

_“In your case I will make that exception. You have your own way to do everything, it seems. Hasn’t failed yet, I suppose. But CORRECT way first.”_

_She switched the handles and felt how foreign it was. She took a breath before leaping and letting her 3D gear take her flying toward the Titan dummy she would be attacking. She sliced into the back of the neck._

_“Damn! Not deep enough!” She called. “I’m trying the other way this time, if that’s alright.”_

_The instructor gave a curt nod in her direction. She changed the positioning now, the blades back and more underhanded, but much more comfortable. The way she’d been taught._

_She lunged this time, same as before, but spun with the blades like a top, slicing through the neck of the dummy. It teetered, hanging on by a thin piece of wood before falling off completely._

_Everyone looked at her with their mouths open._

Much in the same way they were now. The dummy crashed to the ground as Bryson clumsily flew over to her on his 3D gear, followed by Ness and Mike.

“Great work, Captain!” Bryson said as he landed. “I think I’ll need some extra training. Your way is different than I’ve seen, but it seems effective. Maybe I should try that instead.”

“Where’d you learn to cut that way, Sloan?” Mike asked.

“It’s just the way I was taught,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve been told it’s incorrect, but the right way has never worked for me. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“It’s almost exactly the way Levi does it,” Ness added. She felt a blush cross her features and hoped the shade from the trees hid it.

“Maybe we learned from the same person,” she responded and looked across the clearing to a branch where he and Commander Erwin were watching.

* * *

Commander Erwin gave a snort, only loud enough for him and Levi to hear. “She is certainly an interesting addition. And she reminds me of someone… Wouldn’t you agree, Levi?” Erwin gave him a pointed look, but Levi gave no response. “Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter. She is highly skilled and will make an excellent Squad Leader. We’ll wait until after the 57th expedition before she’s promoted. Where would you suggest she go in the formation for the expedition?”

“I haven’t seen enough to really decide.” His words sounded clipped even to him.

“With her advanced skills she may be best on the outside of the formation to help quickly extinguish any abnormals that may turn up.”

Levi felt his pulse quicken but didn’t respond. On the outside, she’d be the first to encounter the Titans, leaving her vulnerable. He wanted to wring his hands over his face. This was why she couldn’t stay there. The thought of her being in the way of danger made him feel ill – regardless of their distance and complete lack of communication.

“On the other hand, it would be a shame for her to be eaten on her first expedition. There would hardly be time to utilize her skills. I hear she’s an excellent negotiator. Dot Pixis certainly thinks highly of her.”

“Maybe she would do best in a new role. We could use someone with communication skills. Maybe some sort of ambassador to the other military branches.” Out of the line of fire, he didn’t add.

“You’re right. You certainly don’t give any to that cause. Maybe she could smooth over your brashness. She seems confident, honest, and concise. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty. Pixis said there were a number of bachelors that were sad to hear about her leaving Hermina.”

The cotton on Levi’s hand tightened as his fists clenched involuntarily.

“Put her wherever you think you need her the most. If she’s good enough, she won’t be Titan food. If not… I guess she just wasn’t cut out for the Survey Corps.” He felt nauseous as he said it.

Erwin and Levi watched as the Squad Leaders, Sloan, and Bryson laughed and engaged their gear, flying out of the clearing and back toward headquarters.

* * *

“IS SQUAD LEADER HANGE HERE?”

The voice cut through the room accompanied by a loud bang. Sloan jumped in her seat and nearly yelped. She looked at the back of her hand, red where her cheek had been resting on it and wiped at something wet on her face. Had she passed out? She wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep but judging by the exhausted look on Eren’s face she hadn’t missed much. His young face looked as though it may have been glazed over for at least a good 15 minutes.

When she’d agreed to accompany Hange to talk with Eren Yeager about her experiments with the Titans Sonny and Bean, she never expected it would take longer than an hour. Sitting in the dim candlelight with them, coupled with the fact she’d hardly had any sleep lately, she felt herself being soothed to sleep by Hange’s stories.

The young man who had burst in looked at them with large, round eyes.

“BOTH TITAN SUBJECTS HAVE BEEN KILLED!!”

Hange let out an anguished scream before dashing out of the room. Eren and Sloan looked at each other in confusion before running after her and into the courtyard.

Eren Yeager was a sweet boy, Sloan had discovered. He was full of youthful energy and had quite the passionate urge to kill Titans. Hange had gone on and on about her own Titans, so Sloan hadn’t been able to speak with him much about his own Titan. How did he transform? How did he know he _could_ transform? Did he just wake up and feel it one day? She was way more interested in Eren than Hange’s two Titans, but she guessed it would have to wait until another day.

“SONNY! BEAN!” Hange screamed again as they approached the large pile of steaming Titan carcasses. The sun had just barely risen over the horizon. Had they really listened to Hange all night?

Mike Zacharias went to her side as she wailed again. A crowd of Scout Regiment soldiers was beginning to form, curious about all the ruckus at such an early hour. Eren and Sloan stared on in curious horror, side by side, not sure whether to feel sad that Hange had lost her pets or happy that two more Titans had bit the dust.

“She’s finally gone off the deep end.” Eren and Sloan turned to face Levi and Commander Erwin, already in full gear. “Eren, let’s go. The rest is up to the Military Police Brigade.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren responded and began to turn.

“Wait, Eren, and you too, Captain Sloan,” Commander Erwin motioned for them to come closer. “What do you see here?”

“Sir?” Eren asked as Sloan surveyed the scene. Eren seemed confused by the question, but Sloan had already taken down a complete report in her mind, a product of years working crime scenes as a part of the Garrison.

“Well,” Sloan began as she took in the carnage. “It was done by someone with access to the vertical gear and blades, obviously. This was a quick job, so that’s the only explanation. Judging by what I’ve learned about Titans and their decomposition, with all this steam they must have been killed at nearly the same moment. Must have been premeditated by someone who had inside information that Hange was experimenting on Titans here.”

“We’re looking for two suspects then? If they were killed at the same moment…” Eren suggested.

“Possibly only one,” Sloan replied.

Levi crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought you estimated they were killed at the same time.”

“One person could have done it. They would have had to be very quick and skilled, however,” she responded. “Surely you have killed more than one Titan within milliseconds, Captain Levi?”

“So, are you accusing me, then, Captain Sloan?” His eyes were dark and dangerous.

“W-well, no, simply stating an example. It is a possibility someone could work alone.”

“I like the way you think, Captain Sloan. Working with the Garrison you must have seen many crime scenes.” Commander Erwin looked her up and down. She smoothed her hair imagining she must look like a crime scene. She could feel Levi’s glare and felt self-conscious under his scrutiny. Her auburn waves were probably reduced to frizz at this point from sitting with Hange and Eren in front of the fire all night. She hoped she didn’t have a huge red circle on her cheek from where she’d fallen asleep.

“I’m looking forward to seeing how well your skills play out in the field on the expedition.” Erwin clapped Eren on the shoulder before turning and leaving the courtyard with Levi.


	5. Chapter 5

The _clip clop_ of horse hooves filled the streets as the Survey Corps gathered into formation in the Karanes District. It was the day of the 57th Expedition outside of the walls and emotions were mixing the air, filling it with excitement, trepidation, and uncertainty. Their numbers were smaller than ever, and with a large portion of them being new recruits, Levi had no idea what to expect. He did his best to keep a blank face and tried to prioritize objectives in his mind.

Number one: Keep an eye on Eren. Protect. Keep him from transforming. Keep him from becoming Titan Chow.

Number two: His squad. Protect.

Number three: Sal? He wasn’t sure where Sal was supposed to fit into all of this. He’d tried his best to ignore her existence and avoid her, but despite his best efforts her presence was always painfully obvious to him. She hadn’t tried to approach him since the tea incident, but they had crossed paths in the halls or the dining hall or at training or meetings. They spoke in planning groups generally, but avoided eye contact. At that moment he was acutely aware of her space in the formation, to the middle and the left. She was assigned to Mike’s squad along with that idiot boy she brought with her. He was set to be a spotter on the outside left, higher up than her. Levi couldn’t argue he wouldn’t mind if Bryson were to conveniently disappear or get eaten. They sat too close for his comfort. The kid stared at her just a little too long at times.

Levi had breathed an internal sigh of relief he hadn’t known he’d been holding when he saw her assigned location in the formation. As part of the signaling squad to the middle left, she shouldn’t encounter any Titans. That is, if the spotters could do their job.

“THIRTY SECONDS UNTIL THE GATE OPENS!” Erwin’s voice boomed out through the formation.

Every now and then a breeze would pick up and he would catch a few words or a laugh as Sal spoke with Bryson or the other Scouts in her area. She always was good at putting on a positive face. It was like she carried the sun around with her, constantly. Even years ago, when they’d met in the underground she was like a ray of light through his dark surroundings. She always seemed to have a smile and a kind word to give. After her father passed, she crumbled a little at times, but the foundation remained intact, bright and sunny. They really were total opposites. He wondered what she ever saw in him, why or how she had ever let him get close to her.

“OPEN THE GATE! ADVANCE!”

_“We will use the standard formation for outside of the walls,” Erwin said as he pointed at a blackboard. There were crude drawings of what Sloan assumed were supposed to be the scouts. He turned to address the soldiers in the classroom. The planning phase for the expedition was underway. “The spotters on the outside will keep an eye out for any Titans. If a red flare goes up, it means there’s been a Titan spotted, and the entire formation will move to avoid the Titan. If an abnormal is spotted, a black flare will be used. We will engage with the Titans if avoidance is not an option. But our overall goal is to minimize casualties as much as possible. Stay aware of your surroundings and adapt as necessary.”_

“LAUNCH THE 57TH EXPEDITION OUTSIDE THE WALL!”

As the call rang through the formation, a war cry went out among the troops as the horses began to move all at once, creating the rumbles of an earthquake. Everyone rode fiercely, riding out of the gate with their heads down, holding a tight formation as they entered the abandoned city.

* * *

“10 METER CLASS TITAN APPROACHING FROM THE LEFT!”

Sloan saw it coming down a side street from her periphery but kept her head down and rode on. The support squad would handle it. She’d been briefed on what to expect and what was expected of her. As signaling squad, she would help relay the information of spotted Titans using the flares and the long range scouting formation. It was a brilliant idea, but the chances of her encountering a Titan were very low. Though she was nervous, she was dying to sink her blades into something. Being cooped up at the Regiment headquarters had made her horribly restless. All anyone thought about or talked about was killing Titans. Hell, there were rookies with more kills under their belts than her.

But, technically, she was one of them. A newbie.

The support team easily fended off the approaching Titan and maintained safety as they exited the town without incident.

She knew Squad Levi – the Special Operations Unit – was to the back and right of her, in one of the safest positions. Eren was surrounded by the team, hand-picked by Levi – three large men and one small girl, Petra. She’d seen Petra hanging around Levi and couldn’t quite figure out their dynamic. She seemed particularly attached to him, seeking his approval – almost worshipping him. Did they have a relationship? She was cute, but very young. Maybe that was what he liked. He at least seemed to tolerate her, which was more than he did to Sloan.

“DEPLOY!” The group began to separate as they exited the last gate and were outside the wall.

“See ya later, Captain!” Bryson called back to Sloan as he sped up and went out to expand the formation.

“Be careful, Bryson! Don’t die on me!!” She called back as she held her formation and watched as everyone separated out. After a while, her comrades became spots in the distance, as small as ants. The sun beat down on her as she felt her senses become hypersensitive. It was so quiet without all the horses together. Her own horse’s galloping seemed to echo louder than possible without much around for the sound to bounce off.

It seemed like it was taking forever. She saw red flares going off to the right in the distance and saw a green flare fire from far to the front in answer. She adjusted her course to the left in accordance with how she’d been briefed. When a flare went off, a Titan had been spotted and the formation would adjust course to avoid, if possible. Several flares seemed to be going off to the right. Finally, a black flare went up, signaling an abnormal. Another flare followed and she said a prayer for her comrades that were no doubt fighting below those shots. She thought back to the formation map she’d received but couldn’t remember exactly who would be in that vicinity. She’d only noted the places of her Squad Leader, Mike, Hange, Ness, Commander Erwin, Levi and Eren, and Bryson. If anything happened to Bryson, she knew she would feel partially responsible. It had been her idea for him to come along, after all. And he’d followed, no questions asked, proving his unwavering loyalty.

Bryson was such a sweet young man. With his chestnut brown hair and brown, sweet eyes, he’d had more than a few ladies interested in him back home. And his body – like it was sculpted by the gods. Sloan had seen him training for hand to hand combat with his shirt off more than a few times. He’d been quite good in that particular subject – though he hadn’t really excelled at anything since being in the Corps. He was a fairly mediocre soldier in aspects pertaining to this new endeavor.

She rode on, eyes peeled for a while longer. She could just barely make out the figures of her comrades to the left, so she had clear visual should they send up a flare. She looked to her right and saw a soldier riding a horse toward her, the opposite way the formation was advancing.

“Captain Sloan!” she recognized them as one of the soldiers riding with Commander Erwin’s squad. “There’s been a change in plans…”

* * *

Levi heard his squad asking questions behind him.

“Captain, why are we entering the forest?”

“I didn’t know this was part of the plan.”

“Captain?”

“Captain Levi?!”

“…What?” he finally responded, agitated by their incessant questioning.

“’What’?! We’re in the forest now, how will we see the Titans approaching? How will we protect the supply wagons?”

“Stop whining,” Levi snapped. “Use what little brain power you have to think – Don’t these trees look like the perfect environment for your 3D gear?”

No one said anything else out loud, but he still heard some grumbles and whispers from the squad as they continued down the central path they’d cut through the forest. Only the center formation and wagons had advanced into the forest – the remainder of the troops were standing guard in the trees outside the forest, hopefully keeping any extra Titans at bay.

Commander Erwin had a hunch something interesting might happen. Plan B had been initiated with the arrival of an abnormal – one that had apparently completely overpowered the right flank.

He really didn’t enjoy this new plan any more than his squad did, but since he hadn’t seen any flares from the left, he could assume that meant Sal hadn’t encountered any real trouble and had stopped at the entrance to the forest with the rest of the formation. She was probably high up in a tree at this point, safe for the moment.

A loud _THUMP THUMP THUMP_ was approaching at top speed from behind.

“What’s that noise!?”

“It’s coming from behind!”

“Is it what destroyed the right flank?!”

“Everyone,” Levi said, silencing them, “Draw your swords. Whatever it is, it’s coming fast. We may only see it for a moment.” The _shink_ of metal rang out as they all palmed their blades.

The color of flesh was beginning to grow larger between the trees at lightning speed. All at once, a 13 meter Titan burst from the back. It had a feminine form, the first of its type Levi had ever seen. The body was made of well-defined muscle with hardly no skin covering. The muscles flexed and extended as she ran closer, pumping her arms at her sides.

“Shit! It’s fast!”

“It’s going to catch us!”

“CAPTAIN!!” Petra yelled at him, her high voice cutting through the noise. “Can we switch to vertical maneuvering?!”

Levi sat, one hand on his blade, and watched in silence. Two Scouts flew in to engage the Titan.

“Reinforcements from behind!” Eren exclaimed.

They watched as their horses continued forward. One of the troops flew in but the Titan covered the nape of her neck with a hand. The soldier, confused by such an action, flew past her and around. Levi watched as she turned her head at the Scout and smashed him into a tree with her shoulder as he flew by. The next Scout tried closing in on the opposite side, but she grabbed him out of midair and crushed him into a tree without missing a step.

The eyes of the Special Ops Unit grew wide while Levi’s narrowed.

“We should attack! That thing is dangerous!”

“Captain! Please! Give us orders!”

“Captain Levi?!”

“Cover your ears,” he heard himself say as he removed a gun from his holster and fired a single shot into the air. The _BANG!_ rang out, echoing through the trees. The Titan continued advancing.

“An acoustic round?”

“Did you forget what you’re here for?” He asked his team. “Was it just to do whatever the hell you felt like? Or was it supposed to be protecting Eren with the possible threat of death?” He didn’t stop to look at their faces and kept staring straight ahead. “Just ride the fucking horses until I say so.”

“ROGER!” Petra called out.

“But that thing’s right behind us! Eren isn’t safe with that thing trailing us!”

“Look! Reinforcements!” Eren called out.

“EREN! Face forward!”

“Another one dead! We could have saved him!!”

Levi kept silent facing forward. Truth was, he hated the carnage as much as Eren. Hated seeing his subordinates killed. But he also understood that without sacrifices, there was no gain. If he went back there to fight right at that moment, what would happen? This particular Titan seemed especially difficult – intelligent, even. Was this another human in a Titan body, like Eren?

“EREN! That’s only allowed when your life is in danger! You promised!”

“Eren,” Levi finally spoke. “Do whatever you feel is right. At the end of the day, who’s to decide? Whether you’re right or wrong, you’ll never experience the opposite situation. Choose wisely; whichever one will let you sleep better at night.”

“TRUST US, EREN!”

Eren was silent from behind, weighing his options on whether to transform or not.

“W-wait! Who is that?”

“Is that…”

“Captain Sloan!”

* * *

Sloan let herself fly as fast as she could through the trees, watching as the Titan became larger and larger as she advanced closer. She focused on keeping her body as small as possible, slicing through the air like a bullet. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her chest felt like it would explode. When she’d received that message from Commander Erwin to abandon her post in the formation and enter the forest, she didn’t know what to expect. He must have been confident in her abilities to have her provide back up for Squad Levi and Eren, right?

Well, watching three of your comrades being squashed flat in front of you changes your opinion.

It suddenly wasn’t an honor anymore.

This Titan was like nothing she’d ever seen before – not that she had much to compare to. A huge, feminine Titan with well-defined muscles. Faster than anything she’d heard of. And the way she killed – calculated, intelligent.

Sal grabbed onto a tree and used it to propel herself forward with her gear. The female had her hand over the nape of her neck.

_But there’s more than one way to slow her down_ , she thought. _Maybe I could slice her arms up until her hand falls…_

Without thinking much more, she shot forward like a spring, soaring past the female. The Titan’s eyes tracked to her as she went by. Sal saw her other hand come toward her as if it were in slow motion. She jumped onto the back of her hand and sprang forward, drawing her blades as she went. She let her blades sink into the Titan’s left eye and kicked off from her cheekbone to slice across her right arm, the one shielding her neck.

She used her gear to fly forward, several meters ahead and latched onto a tree. Sal watched as the Titan’s arm fell forward, exposing her neck. Before Sloan could strike again, the opposite hand went up to cover her kill spot.

Sloan flew forward on her gear, recalculating. Based on how advanced this Titan was, it wouldn’t take long for that eye and arm to heal. She was suddenly distracted when she flew through a small clearing, Levi, Eren and their squad underneath her. Then she saw the wagons set up.

“FIRE!” Commander Erwin’s voice echoed through the forest, followed by the sound of explosions.

Sal kept flying a ways over Squad Levi until she was sure the Titan was no longer following. She circled back around to rendezvous at the clearing.

When she arrived she saw the Regiment’s handiwork. She was right about that eye and arm healing quickly – both arms were raised to cover her neck at the moment. Her entire body was riddled with barbed arrows attached to thick wires. The wires were coming from barrels on the backs of wagons.

She landed on a tree branch above Commander Erwin.

“Excellent work, Captain Sloan. DEPLOY THE SECOND WAGONS!”

Sal watched as troops from the ground level pulled ropes attached somewhere to the wagons – she couldn’t quite see all the details from her view. The sounds of explosions went off a second time, too late for her to cover her ears again. The ringing of her ears cut out all other sounds as she watched more barbs shoot out and into the Titan – her arms, legs, buttocks, even her eyes. When she moved even an inch, steam rose from the hundreds of arrows, but the barbs and wires seemed to tighten more and more with each movement.

Levi came to a stop on the branch beside her. His face was darkened. He had been so blank to her when they’d awkwardly passed here and there, but there was no denying his emotions now. He was enraged.

“Captain Sloan, are you a complete moron or simply prone to moments of insanity?”

“Excuse me?” She turned to face him fully. His hands were at his sides, shaking with tension and thinly veiled rage.

“Did you want to be a hero? What kind of a soldier leaves their post, their fellow comrades?” His voice was dangerously even, but several decibels louder than usual, and very severe, laced with venom. Each syllable sounded – and felt – like a slap to the face. “The formation was to be followed. How is it you ended up following the center of the formation into the forest when you were nowhere near it? Did you get lost? Did you confuse left, right, and center? Maybe the principles we covered in your brief training for the Regiment weren’t basic enough for you?”

The forest was silent with everyone’s full attention no longer on the female Titan restrained in the center, but now focused on the Captain who looked as if he were two steps from exploding into a Titan himself.

A cough sounded from below.

“Levi,” Commander Erwin called. “I told her to provide back up for your squad when I saw the female Titan appear. I didn’t want to take any chances with Eren or that we wouldn’t get her.”

This did nothing to calm Levi, but instead seemed to incense him even further. His eyes cut back and forth from Sal to Erwin.

“Let’s get on with it!” This was from Hange. “Levi! Mike!”

Levi gave Sal one last look of spite before engaging his 3D gear and swinging toward the Titan. Mike followed suit, like a mirror image. They drew their blades and sped toward their target. They both swung swift and true, slicing at her hands to expose her neck.

Sloan put out her hand to steady herself using the massive tree trunk as leverage on the limb. She shouldn’t be as excited about being, essentially, ripped a new asshole by Levi in front of all the senior officers of the Regiment, but she still smiled a little inside. It was kind of sickening, but any exchange from Levi, any emotion she could illicit from him was better than nothing. Better than him ignoring her existence. Better than him pretending she didn’t exist. He was aware of her, if nothing else.

And how dark and twisty his eyes had been as he’d looked at her! _Fear._ He was scared for her. He was worried. He was more passionate about it than if he’d simply been correcting one of his subordinates, she was sure of it. She’d stepped on a nerve – no, stomped on it. Jumped up and down right on the very top.

And now that she’d found that nerve, she wasn’t about to let it go.


	6. Chapter 6

The sound of metal shattering rang out through the trees. Mike swung on his 3D gear with his blades held up. Both had been broken in half. Levi held his up as well from where he stood on top of the female Titan’s head – both blades broken. Everyone turned their attention back to the female Titan’s hands, where Levi and Mike had just taken a crack at trying to slice through to her neck. A crystallized shell had formed across her hands, making a shield. They watched as it shattered and pieces began to crumble away, leaving her hands perfectly intact.

Commander Erwin motioned for one of the troops to come closer. He swung in to receive orders.

“Set a charge and blow off our target’s hands,” he told the troop. “Be careful not to hurt whoever is inside.” The soldier nodded and swung down to relay the message.

So they thought there was someone inside this Titan, someone like Eren. They were intending to dig them out? From what she’d heard from Hange’s rants and research, when Eren became a Titan they could slice him out of his Titan body, if necessary. Sloan looked over at Levi, standing on the Titan’s head.

“Why don’t you just come out now, you stubborn bastard?” he said and tapped the Titan’s head with a new blade. “You’re inconveniencing us all, and after all the trouble you’ve put us through, why not just give us a break? It would be easier for you, in the end.

“You’ve murdered my subordinates. Did you enjoy it? Do you keep a tally the same way we do? Instead of Titan kills, it’s human kills? I wonder which you would count for; but I’d get in big trouble if I killed you. That won’t stop me from cutting off your limbs… They should just grow back, right? Still, it must be incredibly painful, especially with how slow we’d be going…”

Sloan shuddered listening to Levi. It wasn’t the worst she’d ever heard him threaten someone with – it was downright tame compared to some threats she’d heard him make, actually.

Suddenly, the female Titan let out a blood curdling scream. Sal’s hands flew up to her ears as the creature bayed and bayed, as if in the throes of death. It must have lasted for at least 15 seconds before she finally quieted.

“What was that, a death rattle?”

“Damn,” Levi said as he tapped his foot on the top of her head. “You really startled me, there.”

From the branch below Sal heard the sounds of Mike sniffing the air.

“I can smell them coming, Commander!”

“From what direction?”

“There’s a lot – from all directions at once!”

“Set the charges! Everyone get ready! Titans incoming!”

A booming was coming through the forest, drawing closer, as if hundreds of large feet were slapping the forest floor running at full speed toward their position.

“Escort Squad! TITANS APPROACHING! INTERCEPT AND DESTROY!”

Several scouts flew toward the Titans as they burst forth from the tree lines, but the Titans ran past them, not paying them any attention and continuing at a run toward the female Titan.

“They’re ignoring us, Commander! Three Titans have broken through!”

But Erwin’s attention was on the female Titan and his Captain’s position on the top of her head. “LEVI! GET OUT OF THERE!”

But he didn’t need an order. He’d already drawn his second blade and flown through the air, slicing the necks of two of the Titans that broke through. A small, two meter Titan was too low for him to dispatch and ran for the female Titan, sinking his teeth into her leg. Dozens more were beginning to break into the clearing.

“ALL SQUADS! ATTACK! DEFEND THE FEMALE TITAN TO THE DEATH!!”

Sloan didn’t look for anyone before drawing her blades and letting her gear fly. She didn’t think as she spun and twisted, slicing through the necks, arms, torsos – whatever she could get to. The Titans were so focused on getting to the female that they didn’t even seem to notice they were being hacked to bits. Sloan looked behind her and saw a trail of steaming Titan bodies, but it was no time before another live one filled the space. She felt blood splash across her at times, but tried to ignore it. Across the clearing she spied Hange, fighting as well, looking as much like hell as Sloan expected. 

“ALL SQUADS PULL BACK!” Sloan flew to the limb Erwin was on and hopped down beside him. Levi came to a stop on the side of the tree, one side of his gear holding his weight as he braced his legs against the massive tree trunk.

“She got us,” Erwin said. They watched as the summoned Titans consumed the female Titan, bite by bite. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

“So why the hell are you smiling?” Levi asked.

“She was willing to throw everything away to make sure we didn’t get ahold of her information. You’ve got to appreciate that.”

Sloan wiped her mouth before turning to the side and spitting. The sleeve of her jacket came away with Titan blood, red and steamy. There was no doubt in her mind what was causing her mouth to taste like metal.

“Problem, Captain?” Levi called across to her.

“Just a little Titan blood, _Captain_ ,” she mimicked back to him. She looked down at her clothes and saw steaming blood everywhere. He had the tell-tale steam rising off his usually immaculate person as well.

“GET TO YOUR HORSES WHILE THE TITANS ARE FOCUSED ON HER REMAINS! GATHER WEST OF THE FOREST AND GET BACK IN FORMATION!”

The scouts began engaging their 3D gear and advancing to where the formation would be gathering.

“After all that show in front of the council, what do we have to show for it? Nothing but heavy losses and nothing gained,” Levi said.

“What will they do with Eren when we get back?” Sal asked.

“That’s right, Sloan, I forgot you were at the Tribunal,” Erwin said. “Let’s focus on that when we get back. Right now let’s concentrate on retreating without further losses.”

“I’m going to call my squad over,” Levi said and reached for his flare gun.

“Levi, wait,” Erwin said. “Take Sloan with you. Both of you replenish your gas and blades.”

“She’s not in my squad – not my responsibility. And there’s no time.”

“You are both each other’s responsibilities now. And that’s an order. Follow it.”

“Yes, sir,” Levi grumbled before dropping below to refill his gas and exchange his broken blades.

Sloan looked across at Erwin and he gave her a curt nod.

“Protect Eren Yeager at all costs. And my Captain, as well.” With that, he left on his own gear and Sal descended to the forest floor. She went to where Levi was near the gas cylinders and grabbed her own. She disconnected the old cylinders from where they rested on top of each scabbard before connecting her new ones. She gave the triggers on the gas holsters a squeeze to check everything was connected.

“Don’t waste it,” Levi snapped. “Switch out your blades.”

“None of them are broken,” she responded.

“Do it anyway,” he said coolly. “THAT is an order.” She narrowed her eyes at him and wondered who he thought he was to give her an order. She decided to pick her battles and discarded her old blades to be replaced with new.

“Let’s go,” he said and shot off without waiting for her. She ran and engaged her own, flying behind him. She followed a good distance behind him, but kept his pace. Then he kicked it into high gear and propelled forward and to the right, weaving between trees. Sal followed suit without losing distance. Was he angry and trying to lose her? No, he wouldn’t do that and possibly leave her behind to be eaten by Titans. Or would he?

She sped up and matched his flight, move for move. He was better with the equipment than her, more experienced, but he also had an extra forty pounds on her. She could cut through the air faster than he could.

He was acutely aware of her following him, matching his twists and turns, even almost gaining distance on him at points. She knew how to throw around what little weight she had even though it was obvious she may not have been the most experienced with the gear. He’d taught her well, years ago down in the underground on that stolen equipment they’d used. Her techniques were all him, and he felt a swell of pride at how much he’d imprinted on her. Even down to the way she held her blades was reminiscent of the time they’d spent together, proof they had existed as one before.

For a second he imagined what it would be like if he would let his guard down and let her back in. How would that work out with them both in the scouts? She should move to his squad immediately so he could watch over her. But then, that would be a major distraction. Could he perform when he was constantly watching her, looking behind her for a Titan that was gaining on them? He shook himself out of that way of thinking. With Erwin, Eren, and his squad, there was no more room for anyone to take up residence in his brain. No, she needed to leave now. If he couldn’t watch over her, she shouldn’t even be in the Corps. It was too dangerous.

His thoughts were shattered when he heard another blood curdling scream, this one different from the female Titan’s – deeper, more male, and filled with rage and anguish. He looked back at Sal and she nodded at him before they both flew off, faster than before.

“I’m guessing that was Eren, with that look you made?” she clarified as they sped toward a new destination.

“Sounds like it,” he responded. It wasn’t long before they saw the first signs of carnage: an inverted figure hanging loosely from one side of their gear in between two trees. They slowed as they passed by silently, but Sloan saw the blank stare of one of their comrades and recognized him as one of Levi’s squad members. They continued on at the same slower, even pace and came upon a second comrade, the chest and head of another member of Levi’s team. The third of Levi’s team was lying on the ground, his back bent at impossible angles, obviously snapped in half. Last was Petra, her body lying against the bottom of a tree, smashed into the trunk, her head bent back and bloodied.

Levi’s features were strained, the circles under his eyes darker than ever. Sal could feel her own eyes getting glassy. These were her comrades as well, though she didn’t know them quite yet. However, she could feel the despair dripping from him, and that was the most heartbreaking of all. She looked at his face and saw lines she hadn’t noticed before – he was so _tired_.

They didn’t stop, but instead sped off again, faster than before. There was an urgency to the flight and Sloan understood. Eren was not to transform unless his life was in danger, and now that Squad Levi was decimated, there was no one to protect him. Had another Titan come after him?

The body of a Titan soon came into view, a male Titan with long hair. The head had been severed from the body somehow and the neck was completely missing.

“Is that Eren’s Titan?” Sloan asked.

“Yes,” Levi flew closer. “It looks like the whole neck – where Eren would have been – has been completely bitten off.”

“So he may still be alive then?”

“I don’t know.”

They flew on, following tracks made by whatever had eaten Eren out of his Titan body. As they grew closer the sounds of fighting became louder. They burst through the trees to see a single scout engaging the female Titan.

_But she was eaten earlier! How could this be?_ Sloan was amazed, but the female Titan was completely intact, though she didn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight with the cadet. Instead, she had her neck covered with her hand and looked to be trying to make a getaway. The sound of metal shattering broke through the air as the soldier’s blades fell victim to the Titan’s hardened skin. She latched onto the side of a tree and readied another blade before taking off again.

Levi cut through the air, grabbing the girl around the waist.

“Stop,” he said. “We’re here now. Back off.”

He released the girl and she let her gear take her behind him, following his suit and falling in line with Sloan.

“Let’s keep this distance for now. She looks tired, we’ll deal with her in a second. It looked like she bit his whole neck out. Is Eren dead?”

The girl eyed him with a look that shot daggers. “He’s alive. I think she’s holding him in her mouth to kidnap him. Now she’s trying to get away.”

“Maybe she was supposed to eat him and he’s being digested right now.”

“He’s alive,” she said, still glaring, “This wouldn’t have happened if you’d done your job and protected him.”

Levi looked at the girl, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“Is that how you talk to your superiors, you little brat?” Sloan asked, irritated. She’d never encountered such disrespect toward leading officers. It was grounds for a beating in the Garrison. The girl turned her attention to Sal for the first time, still grouchy, but suddenly aware that she was in the company of another Captain.

“Let’s just focus on getting Eren back for right now,” Levi finally said. “Forget about killing her.”

“How many of us has she killed?”

“Let me worry about that.” His eyes had gone dead, but still held a dangerous glint. “You two distract her; I’ll slice her up.”

Sloan and the girl shot forward to the Titan’s left side. The Titan watched them and swatted weakly as if they were no more a threat than flies. Levi flew around the right side, looking for opening to begin the fight. She made the first move by punching her fist straight for him. Sal almost yelled, but he was too quick for even that; he flew up her arm, his blades cutting a spiral all the way up. He stopped at her face, right on her nose, and sunk both blades into her eyes, releasing them and pulling the handles out as he kicked off from her front. He flew back down, between her legs, and sliced her calf muscles, making her legs useless. She teetered awkwardly, her lower extremities no longer able to handle the weight of her body.

Sal was so entranced by watching him, the way he moved, the way he fought. She didn’t even realize how close to the Titan she was until it was too late. The Titan’s arm jerked out, looking for something to steady herself on, and snapped right through one of Sal’s cables. The action sent Sloan flying in the direction of the other cable. She let out a scream before she could stop herself.

_I didn’t cover this in basic training! Can I even fly on one cable?_

“SAL!” she heard Levi shout over the noise of the Titan crashing to the ground.

Before she could think of what to do, she slammed into the tree her single cable had locked into. It knocked the breath right out of her and the world went black.

* * *

Hearing her scream like that almost gave Levi a heart attack. He glanced long enough to see her hanging on a tree by her gear, body limp and lifeless. She’d never looked so frail and small.

 _She’s dead, she’s dead, SHE’S DEAD!_

_Focus, focus, focus on EREN!_

He looked back at the Titan, now sitting where she’d fallen with her back against a tree, just in time to see Eren’s bratty little friend going for the neck.

“NO!” he yelled at her. What the hell was wrong with all these women? He bolted toward her, terrified of what could happen next.

As she drew her blades back, readying to strike, the Titan lifted her arm weakly at the girl. Levi got there faster, landing on the Titan’s hand at a bad angle and pushing the girl back. A loud _snap!_ rang out and he felt something in his ankle shatter. He let out a grunt in pain, but bit down and lunged for her mouth, severing the skin of her cheeks. Her bottom jaw fell open, unhinged, and Eren’s body appeared on her tongue. Levi reached in and pulled him out, flying back and away.

“EREN!!” the girl screamed in relief as Levi stopped on a tree limb above Sloan. The girl glided over to him and Levi handed Eren over to her.

“Remember our objective. Ignore the female Titan for now. Hold onto him while I get Captain Sloan.”

He let out his wires and descended down to her. She was starting to move a little. She shook her head, and let out a small groan. He watched as she brought a hand up to the side of her face.

“Sloan,” he said, breathless. “Are you alright?” He was right at her level, examining her gear. One of the wires had snapped, cut through by the Titan’s flailing arms, sending her free falling toward the remaining wire and the gigantic tree trunk it was attached to.

“I think I have a concussion,” she looked at the hand that had come away from her ear, bloody. “And I’m positive I’ve got some broken ribs. Plus my gear is toast. It’s all locked up now. Is there any way to fix it and use it with one wire?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Then how will I get back? Does Eren still have his on?”

“Not that I can see.” He was both excited and terrified at what he was about to do. “Wrap your arms around my neck.”

“Is that an order?” she asked sarcastically, but complied.

“You must not be hurting too much.” He cradled her close in one arm and pulled out a blade with the other. He hacked away at the wire until it finally came loose and he took her full weight. She really didn’t weigh much at all, though, and he let his gear reel them back up to the limb. He stepped gingerly on his foot, not wanting her to see how badly he was injured.

“Let’s get out of here, quick, before she regenerates.” The girl took off, Eren tucked under her arm. Levi and Sloan stopped to look back at the female Titan. She was sitting propped against the tree; her jaw slack; her arms useless. Her cheeks seemed to be glistening.

“Is she _crying_?” Sloan asked.

“Who cares,” Levi responded. “Let’s go.” She wrapped her arms around his neck again, and this time he picked her up, one arm behind her shoulders, another beneath her knees. She chanced a look at him from under her eyelashes and she was transported back in time as they flew through the air together, back toward the formation.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as they’d burst through the trees, all eyes had been on them. First, on Eren, then on Levi holding Sloan. He landed on the ground, trying to hide his injury while still landing softly, but she noticed.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, looking him up and down after he lowered her to the ground. “Were you hurt? You were hurt. How did it happen?”

“It’s nothing,” he said as he turned away from her and began hobbling toward his horse. The girl, Eren’s friend, laid Eren’s unconscious body in a wagon and climbed in.

He obviously wasn’t interested in her help, so she turned her attention to the scene before her. There were troops tending to the injured; some were sitting, crying with their heads down. Others were helping to load the bodies of their deceased comrades into wagons, hoping to return the bodies to their families, at the very least. She walked over to one small boy who was sitting in the grass, his head resting on his bent legs, his arms wrapped around his calves, pulling them close to himself. She held her side as she went to her knees beside him and saw his blonde hair matted with blood, soaking down the side of his face despite the bandage wrapped around his head.

“May I see your wound?” she asked him. He lifted his head to look at her and a confused expression crossed his features.

“Aren’t you Captain Sloan?” She smiled at him.

“I am. What is your name?”

“Armin Arlert. I think you know my friend, Eren.” Sloan started to reach for his bandage and continued when he didn’t jerk away from her. She unwrapped the cotton carefully, watching his face for signs of pain. A few winces later, and she was looking at a huge gash on the side of his head. She reached inside her jacket and pulled out a small kit with a needle and thread.

“This will hurt, but we need to get that stitched up to stop the bleeding,” she explained as she cut a long string and threaded the needle. “We don’t need to lose anyone else because of small complications.”

“I understand, Captain.” As she went to work on him she was surprised at his resolve. With each thread of the needle through his skin he winced less and less and his gaze became more steeled. He would have a scar, but at least the bleeding would stop. After she was satisfied with her stitching – it has been years since she’d had to, though she always carried the supplies, – she looked back at the bloody cotton and considered reusing it.

“I don’t think it needs to be wrapped,” she decided as she folded it and handed it back to Armin. “And that bloody cotton is just a breeding ground for bacteria.”

“Thank you, Captain,” he said. “I’m actually feeling better already.” He gave her a weak smile before pulling himself to his feet and going to help his comrades, ready to pass on the help he’d received. Sloan slowly pulled herself upright as well, the breath hissing out of her as sharp pains shot through her chest and abdomen.

Apple rode over to Sloan and she looked at the horse expectedly, holding her ribs and wincing just from the thought of how much it was going to hurt to mount her ride.

“So there you are, you big baby,” she said under her breath as she patted the horse.

She looked across the field and saw Levi, no longer on his horse and standing beside four covered bodies, the bodies of his Special Ops Squad. She watched him bend down on one knee and uncovered the jacket of the body closest to him, the smallest one. He pulled out his knife and began cutting away at a piece of fabric. So, this was how he grieved. To others, he was cold and callous, unwavering to the core. Even though this Levi was a stranger to Sloan, so different from the individual she knew in their youth, Sal knew what lay beneath the iced exterior. Sloan wanted so badly to go to his side, but she didn’t think it would be appropriate. Not yet. After everything that had happened, he needed space, and she knew that from experience.

“CAPTAIN!” Bryson said as he rode over to Sloan. He slid off his own horse. “What happened? I was very worried, we were all worried. We didn’t find you amongst us in the trees though we knew you should be there based on the formation. Are you hurt? Where is your gear?”

“Some broken ribs, I think. My gear is busted. That’s how I got hurt.” She left out the portion of her orders to advance to the forest. Talking was such an effort at the moment.

“Here, let me help you. You shouldn’t strain so much. This will be much easier, but it will still be uncomfortable.” He grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her up onto the horse, his hand pushing on her bottom to help her settle into place.

“Thank you, Bryson,” she said with a wince, “That probably was the best way. Though everything is painful right now…”

“Maybe you should take my gear. If a Titan comes, what will you do?”

“That’s OK, Bryson, I’d rather not move to put any on. Plus, yours is probably way too big.”

“Well, I’ll ride close by in case anything happens.”

“I appreciate that,” she said, “But I think I’ll go up with Commander Erwin for a bit.”

The formation they were following would just be a tight formation, with just enough room for the horses to open up. They were no longer scouting, with most of the Titans having been drawn into the forest. They were mostly occupied for the time being. The main objective was to get back to town, fast, and with no more casualties.

She slowly made her way toward him, aware that Levi had mounted his horse and was now silently following.

“I’ll expect a full report once we get back inside the wall,” Erwin said as they both approached. “But I’m assuming both of my Captains are out of commission for a bit.”

“I’m _fine,_ ” they both responded in unison, Sal exasperated and Levi simply matter-of-a-fact.

“He is _not_ OK, Commander,” Sal said with a pointed look back at Levi. “I’m suspecting a broken ankle. He won’t say anything, but I can tell.”

“She has a concussion and broken ribs,” Levi said. “She should probably see a doctor once we get to Karanes.”

“Whatever; I definitely don’t need a doctor. I can take care of myself. Commander knows I have medic training”

Levi shot her a look. She couldn’t tell if it was him being apprehensive or if he was remembering the times she would help in the Underground.

“I am aware of this, Captain Sloan,” Erwin responded. “When we get back you will wrap Levi’s ankle, and we’ll figure out what we need to do about your condition.”

They rode back in silence with only the _clip clopping_ of the horses marking their cadence. The remaining troops were all exhausted, emotionally and physically. Morale was low, and no one was speaking. 

Once they were finally safely back in Karanes District Sloan breathed a sigh of relief. Her relief was short lived, however, when she heard all the talk and shouts of the townspeople.

“Commander Erwin! Where are the rest of the Scouts?”

“How many casualties did we suffer this time?!”

“The number is much lower than when they left, I think.”

“They’re just going to fatten up those Titans outside the wall now.”

Sloan kept her head down, refusing to engage with any of the taunts and calls. She saw a man break through the ranks and make his way toward Levi. She kept a close eye on him.

“Captain Levi, we haven’t met before, but you see, I’m Petra’s father and I wanted to speak with you before she arrived.” The man walked beside Levi’s horse, a nonthreatening presence. “She’s been sending letters – she seems to be quite taken with you, something about dedicating her life to you and the cause. She said that you’d noticed her talents and promoted her to your Special Operations Squad.” The man was beaming with pride. “Well, I wanted to speak with you because, well, I know she’s young and too early to really speak of marriage…” Sal felt the blood drain from her face. Did that mean there had been something between them? Petra’s father certainly spoke like there could have been.

The man trailed off, waiting for Levi to speak, to affirm what his daughter had written. Levi reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of fabric. It was the wings of freedom emblem, cut from another Scout’s jacket – possibly Petra’s. He extended it to the man who looked at it for a moment, confused.

“Petra was one of my best soldiers, I hand-picked her for my squad,” Sal heard him say. “She gave her heart – and life – for humanity. Her death was not in vain.” A flurry of emotions flew across the man’s face – from pride, to confusion, and then anguish. His face began to crumble as he clutched the patch, possibly the only possession of his daughter’s that he had. He stood in the middle of the formation as they advanced past him, the Regiment directing their horses around him as he fell to his knees and cried.

Sloan urged her horse forward into Levi’s periphery, not speaking. He kept his gaze straight ahead, eyes darkened, and did not speak.

* * *

They’d finally arrived back at headquarters hours later. Sloan wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and fall in a deep sleep. The screaming in her side told her she would have a fitful rest later that night, but she welcomed the retreat to her bed regardless. First, she’d help tend to the injured. Someone passed her a kit; it had needles, thread for stitching, bandages, tapes of all types, salves, cotton strips for making slings, boards for stabilizing broken bones, and other equipment that she didn’t know how to use, and others that made her shudder at what they were used for.

She went from soldier to soldier, sewing up wounds, wrapping bandages, smearing lotions and ointments, and occasionally helping to set broken bones. Her stomach did a flip-flop with the first set bone, but she was prepared for the next. By the time the last soldier was removed and carried to their bunk for recovery, the sun was gone, and the candles were burning low on lumps of nearly melted wax. She walked over to the last patient and placed the kit on the table beside them. She pulled up a chair adjacent from him.

“Let’s see that ankle,” she said and started for his pants leg. He swatted her hand away and began to roll up the leg himself, revealing a purple, bruised, swollen mess. Sal would have hissed, but after all she’d tended to she was happy that was the worst Levi had on him.

“Definitely sprained, possibly broken,” she said and reached out before he could stop her, feeling his ankle, looking for any signs of a definite break. He winced slightly, only a wrinkle around his eyes that was gone in a flash. “I’ll wrap it tight to keep the swelling down, but you really should stay off it.”

“We both know that won’t happen,” he said and silently watched her as she pulled a thick bandage from her kit. She cut the tape, making sure she would have plenty to secure the bandage after it was wrapped. She started at the base of his ankle and circled over his foot and under, making a figure 8 and continuing up his calf, then back down, round and around, pulling tighter and tighter to give support and to try to return it to the normal size.

“I thought you were dead,” he said quietly, breaking the silence.

“Well, if I’m honest, my life did kind of flash before my eyes as that tree got closer.” She laughed dryly. “I kept thinking how ridiculous it would be to die like that. You know, instead of being Titan chow and all…”

“I meant before that,” he said. Her heartbeat quickened. This was the conversation she’d been waiting for. Was he acknowledging their past?

“I thought you were dead, as well,” she admitted. “What _happened_?”

He let out an audible sigh, as if he’d been waiting to explain, as well. “Erwin had been watching us in the underground. He’d seen us with the gear – mostly me, Isabel, and Furlan. Him and Mike, with some others, caught us, essentially blackmailed us into joining the Corps. Threatened to turn us in if we didn’t come with him. He’d seen you with us a few times, mentioned you, but I think he realized I’d get turned in before I let it slip where you stayed. He didn’t have anything to blackmail you with, anyway. _You_ don’t have a criminal record.”

Sloan pulled the bandage tight enough to illicit a wince from him – probably a little too tight – and began to tape the wrap. “So you had absolutely no way to contact me for fifteen years?”

He studied her face for a moment, his face expressionless. “At first, we were going to kill Erwin and escape. We’d met someone who wanted some documents Erwin had. If we killed him and retrieved those documents, our records would be cleared. We could return to the capital and live Above. I thought of what it would mean for us, for me and you. I thought we would be gone for a few months, tops. But after Furlan and Isabel were killed… There was no going back after that. I couldn’t leave, even if Erwin wasn’t watching my every move.

“Once I realized this was it for me, I decided it was the best if you never heard from me again. If you thought I was dead, maybe you could move on and forget about me, about everything.”

“How could I forget?” she felt her eyes getting glassy. “You were my best friend, and you showed me a whole other side to life. Flying with you… That was living. Even in the underground, I was more alive with you than I ever was, than I ever have been since. You showed me how to live. You _saved_ me – more than once.”

“Don’t –“ he cut her off as an old memory sliced through him like a knife, a memory that had kept him up at night for years at a time at first. He grabbed her upper arms and gave her a shake. “You have to go back to the Garrison. I can’t take you here. It’s not safe. This is _not_ living; this is _dying_.”

“Is that why…” she trailed off. So, all his ignoring and sharp comments and actions had just been to chase her away. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “I can’t – not now. I know you’re here now, and I will not let you slip away again! I can’t go back to the way it was. There is nothing for me in Hermina, in the Garrison.”

He caught a lock of her hair and watched it as it slipped around his fingers, the dim light from the candles reflecting off the strands. He shifted in his seat, the smallest indication he was tense, not completely at ease. He leaned ever so slightly forward.

Sloan couldn’t catch her breath. She prayed he couldn’t see the small, shallow, rapid breaths she was taking. She was going to hyperventilate at any moment, but it seemed as though he was getting ready to kiss her. He tilted his head slightly to the right as she studied her face.

Sal nearly jumped out of her skin as a loud _CRASH!_ broke through the silence. Levi’s head snapped in the direction of the sound. They watched as a young girl stumbled out of the pantry, a loaf of bread in her mouth and a steamed potato in each hand.

“OH!” she said as she took a bite of the bread. “I’m sorry – I didn’t know anyone was still here.” She took in the scene before her and her eyes grew wide with the realization that she’d nearly walked in on something quite intimate occurring with Captains Levi and Sloan. “Err, excuse me. I’ll just be going now and forgetting any of this ever happened…” She hurriedly walked out of the dining hall, leaving them alone again.

Sal turned back to Levi and looked deep in his eyes. His exhaustion was plain under his eyes, his creased forehead, and his tense mouth.

“We’ve had a busy day,” she remarked. He stood up abruptly.

“We can’t be together, Sal,” he said. “I can’t be with you. I just don’t have it in me to worry over you here. I’ve lived it several ways already in my mind, and none of them turn out well. I’ll try my best to keep my distance. I would appreciate it if you’d do the same.”

With that, he turned and left her sitting at the table as the last flame flickered out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: sexual assault, violence

_“I don’t want you talking to that boy anymore, Sal,” Daddy said as they walked down the sidewalk of the underground. He carried an empty bag in one hand, all the bread given out already. This had been going on for at years now. At first, Daddy didn’t mind Sal talking with Levi and his little friends, Isabel and Furlan. But as they’d grown, now teenagers, he saw the evil glint in the boy’s eye and knew other things were on his mind. The boy was little more than an underground thug, after all. What else would he want with sweet, innocent Sal? When they were younger it was nothing, but as they grew Daddy became more and more aware of where a young man’s mind would go, and he didn’t like the way he’d been eyeing Sal up and down. Not one bit._

_“But Daddy,” Sloan whined. “There’s nothing to worry about. Levi is a nice person.” Sal had been sneaking into the underground without Daddy for a couple of years, at least, since she was about 13. At first she was scared – when Levi had talked her into it she’d never disobeyed her parents before. But the promise of flying on that contraption she saw him wearing was enough persuasion._

_“The boy’s only got one thing on his mind, Sal. Don’t you forget about it.” They continued walking in silence, Sal not even brooding over Daddy anymore. The same conversation had played out dozens of times throughout the last few years. She wasn’t exactly sure what “_ it _” was that Daddy said was always on boys’ minds, but she was starting to get some ideas. One of her friends, Cass, would sometimes hide in one of the alleys in their neighborhood with a boy, John. When they came out their clothes were always rumpled and Cass’s neck would have red spots all over it, though Sal wasn’t sure where they came from. Their lips were always big and puffy looking, as well._

_Sal was sure it was something similar to how Daddy and Mama would kiss sometimes, but that was always so quick, chaste even. It seemed so much different than whatever Cass and John were doing._

_Did that mean that Levi wanted to kiss her? She felt her chest and cheeks break out in a flush just thinking about it. She shook her head, feeling guilty for even thinking it. But the truth was, if that was the “_ it _” that Daddy said was always on Levi’s mind, well, she didn’t really mind trying it out. She’d imagined how it would feel. She was unsure of how it would happen, exactly. Levi wasn’t a very warm person. She figured it would be soft and quick. That was how it went, right? It was hard to think of anything else, as Daddy and Mama’s kisses were all that she had to compare._

_She wouldn’t mind trying, though. She would try anything he wanted._

_“Hey there, sugar,” said a voice from inside an alley as they passed. A hand snaked out and grabbed Sal’s arm, fast as a viper strike, pulling her into the darkened gloom. As her eyes adjusted, she saw three dirty, old men. Their clothes were tattered and stained. Graying beards were unkempt and had crumbs and other garbage stuck to the wiry hairs. One of them laughed, showing broken teeth. “We got us a pretty one today, boys.”_

_“Please,” Daddy said, “We don’t want any trouble… We just bring bread down to the needy. We don’t stay down here.”_

_“Turn ‘er around, Eli,” one said. “I want to see all her curves.”_

_“Well, maybe this will help.” The old man reach up to her white blouse and ripped it down to her undergarment, exposing her chest and growing cleavage._

_“She’s a small one. Give us a twirl, girly.” The one holding her arm forced her to spin._

_“Let’s get rid of this first,” said one of the men and cocked a gun, holding it to Daddy’s head._

_“NO! PLEASE!” Sal screamed as a shot rang out. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to look. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw Daddy laying on the ground, a single bullet to the side of his head. Blood was beginning to trail down at her shoes and she took a step back to avoid the puddle, shocked at what had happened._

_“She is a small one. We might break her.”_

_“Try not to. I’d like to have more than one go with ‘er.” Sal felt an arm circle her waist, but she was unable to even move. Her eyes felt huge, her mouth opened. The men each outweighed her by 100 pounds, at least, even if she tried to fight back. This was the end for her. She heard the man behind her inhale deeply, breathing in her scent._

_“Never had a red head before,” he remarked as he squeezed her breast._

_A swoosh of air went over her head and she was snapped out of her trance as she saw a head roll past her and down into the puddle of Daddy’s blood. The old man’s beard was cut at an odd angle, similar to his severed neck. The beard was soaking in the blood. She heard more sounds behind her and the arm left her body. She turned to see what would come next._

_Behind her, she watched as Levi replaced his blades and pulled out his knife. He was standing over one of the men, his foot in the center of his chest._

_“Please,” the man begged as Levi sliced across his throat in a quick motion, like he’d done it a hundred times before. Levi left the man to bleed as he went for the last assailant. The man began to back up, nearly tripping._

_“Now, listen,” he said, “We weren’t going to kill her…Just use her a little bit.”_

_“Stop talking,” Levi said, low and dangerous, and Sal felt every hair on her body stand on end._

_“Please,” the man said._

_“I said, SHUT UP!” Levi yelled as he backed the man up against a wall. The man was several inches taller than Levi and outweighed him by plenty, but he was absolutely terrified of the young man. “What would you have done if she’d said ‘please’? What were you planning to do to her?”_

_“No, no,” the man stammered. “We weren’t going to hurt her bad or anything, we just wanted to get to know her a little bit.”_

_A swift kick to the knee sent a_ CRACK! _through the alley and the man fell to the ground screaming, holding his knee that was now bent at an unnatural angle. Levi grabbed the man on either side of his face and turned him to face Sal._

_“Does she look like she would like to get to know any of you fuckers?” Levi said._

_“W-well, now that you mention it, she doesn’t… Our mistake. Why don’t you let me go, you’ve already taken care of my buddies. You’ll never see the likes of me around these parts. I’ll never touch another woman as long as I live…” The man trailed off when he realized Levi wasn’t even listening. Instead, Levi was staring at Sloan like he’d made a new discovery. The color drained out of his face and his eyes shown red, enraged. He turned to the man and delivered punch after punch, directly to his face. A tooth flew out one way. With a punch to the other side, Sal heard a crunch. An uppercut sent the remainder of the man’s teeth rattling. A kick to the stomach and blood went flying. The man’s face was becoming a bloody, bruised, swollen mess, indistinguishable from how he’d looked before._

_Sal watched in absolute horror. Her father was murdered, she had no idea what those men were planning with her, and now she was watching her best friend kill her would-be assailants. She didn’t want to see anymore. Levi was changing as she watched him. He was transforming. The monster was there, just below the surface, with the red eyes and impossible strength in such a compact frame. She advanced forward, unsure of what to do as he continued to brutally beat the man. Would he turn on her if she got too close? Could he control this monster?_

_“Levi,” she said gently, uncertainty lacing his name. She extended her hand and carefully touched his arm, light as a feather. He stopped immediately and turned to her. She recoiled momentarily under his gaze, then straightened. “Please, stop.” He looked again like he was making an unprecedented discovery. Then, he pulled out his blade and slit the third man’s throat. He put it back in its sheath, not even bothering to wipe off the blood before he went back to her._

_He placed his hands on her, touching her cheeks, her neck, her shoulders; pulling her blouse back together while surveying her for injuries._

_“Please,” she said, though she could barely speak. “Just carry me to the opening.”_

* * *

Levi jumped out of the chair he’d fallen asleep in. He felt as if he were surfacing water and hadn’t taken a breath in ages. That same damned memory. He had absolutely lost it back then, taking pleasure out of killing the men that meant to do her harm. The only thing he wished was that he could have controlled himself enough to make it longer, slower. He wanted to downright torture them for hours on end. He went cold inside when he thought of how terrified of him she’d looked at that point, however – almost as if she thought he would raise a hand to her next.

The same scene played out night after night after he’d been enlisted in the Corps, turning into a nightmare when he didn’t show up to rescue her. That was how he’d always envisioned she’d died – raped on a pile of trash and murdered, broken body tossed aside like used up garbage. She’d go looking for him when she found out he was no longer waiting at the opening for her, he was certain of it. And what fate would have befallen such a pretty, gentle girl alone in the underground?

He walked to the window and smoothed down the front of his shirt. The sky was still black; it was very early in the day. He hardly ever slept – there were too many dark places in his mind that would come open when he closed his eyes. His mind would race and keep him from sleep, and when sleep did come memories and nightmares would follow him. If, by chance, he was able to fall asleep, it was always sitting straight up in the straight backed chair in his room, fully clothed. It kept his pants and shirt from getting wrinkled, at least. He looked at his bed. It was always crisp and perfectly made. The feather mattress was soft, he knew because he’d sat on it before, tried laying on it, but felt too vulnerable. He even tried sleeping on top of all the blankets, but it never felt right. Even years ago in the underground where he’d felt safe he’d had difficulty sleeping. The problem was only compounded when he moved to the Regiment and encountered the Titans.

He tried to imagine what it would be like to get a full night’s sleep for once. How it would feel to lay under the blankets on the soft cushion and sink into sleep. He imagined a lot of tossing and turning until the picture morphed and Sal was beside him, a quiet snore the only indication she was even breathing. With her close by, reveling in her scent, one arm thrown across her in the darkness, he would breathe a sigh of relief. After the conversation he’d had with her several nights ago, he had no business even thinking that, he knew.

The image changed again and there was a lot of tossing and turning in the darkness. He could see her face in the moonlight as she was rolled beneath him. He urged her soft legs open with his knees as she pulled at his shoulders and neck. She let out a sigh, exasperated and relieved all at once. He dipped his head to brush his lips against her bare collar bone as he repositioned his hips. Just a bit farther…

He shut the thought down quickly as he felt all the blood rushing below his belt. Ever since she’d arrived, every innocent thought he seemed to have lately always snowballed directly into something between him and Sloan. Even things as mundane such as eating breakfast resulted in fantasies of him pushing everything off the table with the slide of an arm and taking her then and there, regardless of anyone else watching.

It was absolutely maddening.

 _She_ was absolutely maddening.

He paced as the sun began to streak across the sky. He tried to redirect his thinking. They would be going to the Capital in a few days to meet with the Military Police. The MPs thought they were handing over Eren Yeager after the failed 57th expedition. The Scouts were, instead, going to approach the human behind the female Titan and capture her. One of Eren’s friends – Armin – had an idea as to who the girl was, and they hoped to take her down quietly. If they did, they may be able to save Eren.

Levi wiggled his foot. His ankle was still injured, so he would be escorting Erwin to the Military Police headquarters instead of participating directly with the capture, much to his distaste. With them would be one of the Scouts disguised as Eren. They had to have someone to hand over – better it be one of the “normal” Scouts instead of Eren himself. Sal would be accompanying them on the journey as their unofficial ambassador. She’d served briefly in the Military Police directly after the training Corps, Levi had learned. She must have been very impressive to have gained entry. She’d transferred to the Garrison after a few years. She’d had enough experience with other branches that she’d be an asset to them as they met with the MPs.

Levi gingerly pulled his boots on, careful around his swollen ankle. He headed out of his room, not even bothering with his jacket at such an early hour. He rarely passed anyone on the mornings he decided to leave his room this early. He walked slowly down the hall, deciding to take a different path. He was usually up and about before anyone else, taking walks around the headquarters. After spending most of his nights pacing in his room, he was always ready to get out as early as possible. Sometimes he would walk around the back of the headquarters or through the courtyard.

His boots barely made a sound as he made his way down the stairs. He wasn’t limping anymore, but he could feel the pain in his ankle still. The swelling and pain were lessening each day, but he knew if he didn’t take it easy the healing process would not be so kind. He continued down the stairs and on his path outside to the stables. A walk among the horses would be a calm start to the day.

The sky was just beginning to lighten, the sky a hazy gray color. Dew was sprinkled on the grass, untouched in most places. The horses whinnied and neighed as he walked by their wooden stalls as if asking when breakfast would be. As he continued down, passing stall after stall, he became aware of a _swish swish_ coming from one of the end stalls. He heard a sound and became aware that it was someone out in the stalls, brushing one of the horses. He wondered who else would be up this early and hoped they wouldn’t stop him for a morning chat.

He saw the door to the stall swing open and Sloan walked out, a bucket in one hand. The door swung shut behind her as she strolled across the lawn and over to the well. She began to pull on the rope, bringing up the water bucket from below. She wore a simple green dress that fell just below her knees, cinched around her tiny waist by a leather belt. She wasn’t wearing any shoes, but Levi imagined she would like the feeling of the grass between her toes. He saw her wince slightly as she pulled the bucket higher and higher, still favoring her broken ribs.

And her hair – those coppery red locks loose and contrasting with her green dress… Positively angelic. He wasn’t sure if he’d made a sound, but she suddenly looked over at him. She turned back to the well and began pulling on the rope with a new speed, grabbing the bucket and dumping the contents of the well water into her own bucket. She hurriedly carried it back to the stall. Levi felt his legs spring into action, possibly of their own accord, and walked over to her stall. He heard a splash of water as she poured the water into her horse’s trough.

“You should wear shoes out here,” he said. “Your toes might get stepped on.”

“Apple is very cautious,” she responded curtly as she placed the bucket on a shelf in the stall. “I’m not worried.”

“So you don’t mind stepping in shit out here?”

“I watch my step,” she said and dusted off her dress. “I’m washable anyways. How’s your ankle?”

“It’s fine. Why are you out here so early?”

“I couldn’t sleep. I haven’t really been able to since I’ve gotten here.”

He gave her a look. “We’ll be going to the Capital in a few days to attempt to capture the female Titan. You will be travelling with me and Erwin, and the troop disguised as Eren. Don’t wear your 3D maneuvering gear. Don’t bring your blades. Don’t wear the cape. Don’t even wear your jacket, so we can be sure you aren’t concealing anything.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Same to you. Did you forget we were at the same meeting? I know all these things.” She pushed past him and tried to walk out of the stall, but he grabbed her arm. Her skin felt so warm and soft under his grip.

“I just wanted to be sure you understood. You seem to be a bit of a loose cannon.”

“I am not a loose cannon,” she said and jerked her arm out of his grasp. “What I don’t understand is why you are talking to me right now. Something about trying to keep distances and all…” She turned and faced him. He crossed his arms across his chest, trying his best to keep his hands to himself.

“Maybe you should consider staying with the Military Police after the capture.”

“HA!” she let out a sour laugh. “I will not spend a minute more of my time than necessary with those pigs. It’s a bed of vipers. I’d rather take my chance with the Titans than go back there.”

“Maybe you should be more concerned with vipers here.” He felt his hands twitch at his side, not from agitation, but from the sheer need to reach out and touch her.

“Are you threatening me now? You’re the only viper around here.”

“Maybe you should be worried about me,” he said as he lunged for her, unable to control himself any longer. He fisted a handful of that red hair and crushed his lips to hers. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his body, not stopping when she winced in pain. Her lips were soft and moist, but he was hard and unyielding. He pressed her against the stall and continued his assault, his hands beginning to roam. She didn’t even try to push him away. In fact, it was practically the opposite. Her hands had found leverage, one on his neck, the other grasping at the collar of his shirt, pulling him just as close. His tongue found entrance into her mouth without any difficulties and he lost himself in the soft warmth, tongue exploring places he once knew too well.

He didn’t know how long it went on, but at one point she pulled back and he began to trail kisses down the side of her mouth, her cheek, her neck. He squeezed a handful of her breast.

“Levi,” she said. He dipped his head to her collarbone. “Levi, stop. Someone will see us. This isn’t appropriate.”

Absolutely nothing he was thinking was appropriate. He stopped long enough to look at her face, to see her reddened lips and the flush that was crawling up her neck and across her nose, before grabbing her hand and pulling her along behind him. He led her around the end of the stables and behind all the stalls. He knew from years of walking around the compound that no one would have any business being in their general area for a few hours, at least. Most of them would be sluggishly dragging themselves to breakfast at that time of the day, not around the stables. He led her into a small building that was used mostly for storage. A large worktable sat in the middle of the room.

Her lips found his again. She was softening up to him, her hands roaming and pressing into his chest, pulling him closer; her defensive attitude completely vanished. He felt more urgent, harder, in more ways than one. At any moment Sal could come to her senses, remember their earlier conversations, and put a stop to it. He would probably deserve a slap to the face for approaching her in such a way after how distanced their _relationship_ – if one could call it that – had been. They were barely more than acquaintances at that moment, but for some reason she wasn’t stopping him. It was the exact opposite. Her hands travelled to the waist of his pants and she untucked his shirt, undoing the top button. He began taking steps toward her, forcing her back against the table. Her bottom pressed against the edge of the table and she smiled up at him.

“Why, Captain, I didn’t think such relations with _subordinates_ were permitted.” She licked the curve of his jaw and nibbled at his ear. Chill bumps broke out across the back of his neck.

“Stop talking,” he growled at her as he began to undo the row of buttons sewn down the front half of her dress. His emotions were conflicted enough without her sarcasm. The urge to possess her and take her was so strong, as was the warring need to push her far away and keep her at a distance.

“Is that an order?” she asked as she plunged her hands into the front of his pants. His fingers suddenly wouldn’t cooperate anymore as she filled her hands with his manhood.

She let her soft hands slide up and down, feeling the long silkiness of his shaft, and then one of her hands ventured lower to palm his balls and he knew he was about to lose it. He quickly pulled her hands out of his pants. The look on her face was one of confusion, then understanding as he began to turn her around and bend her over the table.

He wanted nothing more than to let her continue with her hands, slowly working him out, one pump at a time, but it had been too long. This was not the time or the place for slow, tender lovemaking. No, he was twisted up like a coil and was liable to go off at any moment. He bent her over and lamented that he hadn’t even felt her soft wetness below. He unzipped his pants and let his tool spring free as he pulled her dress up around her hips, exposing her round bottom. He felt her long enough to push aside her panties, just a gentle touch to see that she was ready, before he plunged into her entrance. They let out simultaneous groans – her at the invasion and him at how tight she was. He paused as he allowed her body to adjust to the size of him, resting his head on her back. After a few seconds he righted himself and began pumping, slowly at first, then regularly, like a well-oiled machine. He reached an arm around and through her unbuttoned top to grasp at her breast, teasing and pinching the nipple as he pounded at her from behind. No, it wasn’t going to take long at all.

As he neared his final thrusts an image cut through his mind that almost made him shrivel up right where he stood.

_Sal – belly huge and round, as if a baby would be popping out at any moment, her face glowing with love and happiness as her hands gently caressed her swollen stomach._

The release was coming, despite the image that sliced through him like a bucket of iced water. With the last thrust he pulled free of her warmth and spilled his seed onto the grass beside his feet. He stood, his hand bracing him against the wall of the shed while he caught his breath. It had been so long since he’d had any form of release the sensation was causing his head to spin. A special calm was washing over him and he knew if he went back up to his room he would be able to sleep. He zipped his pants up and turned to face an unhappy Sal. She was adjusting her own clothing and buttoning her dress.

“So that’s that, then?” she said, irritation plain on her face. “Not sure what I expected, but I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed. Unsatisfied.”

He looked her over. She certainly looked unnerved and a bit disheveled. He knew it was cruel, but he knew he wouldn’t be ready to go again without some time to recuperate. Should he tell her it had been years since he’d had intimate contact? Would that help anything? It may soothe her at the least, let her know there had been no other women – none that mattered at least. Men still had urges, dammit. Maybe he could still help her out. There were other ways to satisfy her, he knew…

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” she said, voice laced with venom. “I’ll take care of it myself.” She began to hobble off awkwardly, her ribs enflamed from the recent action and the new ache between her legs making her walk gingerly. He watched her leave, feeling like less of a man for not satisfying her, but the situation was so fucked up already. He’d only made things worse by being unable to contain his baser urges.

He waited until she’d left before he started pacing feverishly. The sun was up and shining and breakfast was being served. He knew everyone would notice if he weren’t there, but there was no way he could face her again at that moment. How do you sit across the room from someone after such an exchange without everyone knowing what just happened? Her face was always so transparent. Especially when she was brooding and in a mood, as she no doubt was now. She would be in a rage if she saw him going about business as usual.

No, he knew what he had to do.

He left the shed and headed back to his room.


	9. Chapter 9

Sloan took a seat at the table between Hange and Mike. Commander Erwin sat at the head of the table, all of his squad leaders sitting around the table with him – most of them, anyway. It had been a full day since their encounter, but Sloan had yet to see Levi again. He was absent from meals and the current meeting.

“I wanted all of us to gather and go over specifics of the summons to Stohess,” Erwin began. “This is a military summons, meaning the Military Police is seeking to gain control of the Survey Corps and Eren Yeager following our failed attempts outside of the wall. I feel that this is our one last chance to regain the upper hand and show that we have the best interests of humanity in our hearts. We have reason to believe that a Military Police officer, one of the 104th division trainees, Annie Leonheart, is the female Titan that decimated our units outside of the wall. If we could capture her inside Stohess district, it would show the Military Police that we are contributing to maintaining public safety.”

“And she would make an excellent test subject!” Hange added.

“How will we be sure which is her? And how can we guarantee she won’t transform inside the walls?” Sloan asked.

“One of our troops, Armin Arlert, will lure her into the underground under the guise of helping Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman. Underground, she should not be able to transform, but we will have our men waiting in any case.”

“It may do Stohess good to see a Titan in action inside the walls,” someone chimed in. “They may have a greater respect for the Corps after they see one.” A few other voices grumbled in agreement.

“We should try to limit human casualties as much as possible,” Erwin responded. “But we believe that the female Titan’s purpose is to capture Eren Yeager, not kill and eat humans. If everything goes as planned, the casualties should be very minimal. Hange, you will be in charge of setting up the cannons to capture her if she changes to Titan form. John, you will set up the parameter. Mike, you will help with the support squad. Sloan, you will be accompanying myself and Levi in carriage. Another of the 104th division will be disguised as Eren Yeager for the Military Police to take into custody, if it comes to that. Captain Sloan, bring your gear – you’ll be joining Hange with the cannons to help capture the female Titan, if it comes to that.”

“Commander, I should tell you that I have already been given explicit orders from Captain Levi not to bring my gear.”

He waved his hand as if clearing the air. “You have new orders now. We’ll have someone carry our gear in for us. The MPs would not take kindly to us arriving in full weaponry. Levi will get over it.”

“Where is Captain Levi tonight?” Hange asked.

“He had some family business to take care of,” Erwin answered. A puzzled look crossed Sal’s face before she could stop herself. Levi had no family, at least none that she knew of.

“He will be back by the time we are ready to depart in the morning. Now, everyone, it’s time to retire. I want everyone well rested for tomorrow.”

* * *

It was late – Sal knew that before she even opened her eyes. She’d just barely drifted off to sleep after spending hours tossing and turning. This was how most of her nights had gone since arriving; hours just staring at the dark ceiling, mind racing with thoughts and images, before finally falling to asleep mere hours before dawn. This night she had fallen asleep a little earlier than usual, but had been awoken by a sound at her door. Her eyes had sprung open as she heard the doorknob slowly turn and the door ease open and then closed, making only the slightest of noises. She worked hard to control her breathing but her mind had gone into overdrive and she felt her respirations begin to quicken. Was it Annie Leonheart – the female Titan? Maybe she had heard about their plan and had come to take them out, one by one while they slept. Her hand slowly slid under her pillow and she palmed the knife she always kept within reach.

She laid there quietly, trying not to make a sound that could alert her intruder that she was awake. She would wait until the right moment, then attack. She heard no other sounds, no footsteps, the unsheathing of a blade, nothing.

She then felt a dip in the bed and felt a warm body crawl in behind her. An arm snaked around to cover hers and traced down to her wrist and hand, then pried the knife from her grasp. She sprang into action, she grabbed the arm and pulled as hard as she could, holding them in place behind her. She kicked behind her as best as she could, but she had to admit that she was in a bad position to protect herself.

“HELP!” She screamed before a hand went over her mouth.

“Shut up, Sal,” Levi said from behind her.

“Let go of me,” she seethed in a whisper. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She pushed away from him in the bed.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“What else is new? That doesn’t mean you can sneak into my room in the middle of the night. I’m not clothed. What if someone saw you?” Her arms instinctively went to cover her bare breasts though it was pitch black and she was still under the blankets.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve seen it all before. And no one saw.”

“Good, then no one will see you leave.”

“I’m sorry.” Sloan felt the tight coil inside her chest, one twisted tight with anger, let out a little. Levi rarely apologized, so Sal knew she was witness to something infrequent. “What happened the other day was a mistake. I don’t regret that it happened, but maybe the way that it happened…” Sal turned to face him, but couldn’t see much in the darkness. “If it’s any consolation that was the first time I’ve had sex in years.” She felt a smile twitch at the corners of her mouth.

“If that’s what you would call that.”

“You know exactly what to say to make a man feel inadequate.” She saw his silhouette as he rose and began moving around. The rustle of fabric filled the air.

“What are you doing?” Sal asked.

“We’re going to try again,” he responded along with the sound of metal hitting the floor. “This time will be better.” He threw the blankets off her and grabbed her hips, positioning her on her back at the edge of the bed. He pulled off her panties and tossed them behind him. “Do you always sleep without clothes?”

“It’s more comfortable that way.” She gasped when his hands found her breasts and teased at their peaks. He bent over her and found her mouth, pressing his lips to hers, breathing in her scent. He was gentler this time, his voraciousness having been satiated slightly by their earlier time. He teased at her lips, alternating between soft brushes and nibbles. His hand snaked around her back and drew her up so she was flush with his body. Her hands roamed across the hard planes of his chest and stomach, reaching around to his shoulders, pulling him closer as if they could become one person if they pressed hard enough.

Her skin was so soft, like a rose petal. He let his hand wander from her breasts to her stomach. So smooth, except for the trail of goose bumps he was leaving in his fingers’ wake. He ran his hand down her side, feeling where her waist dipped and swelled to become her hips. Her body had changed since he’d last remembered. They’d known each other before, spent intimate time together, in the underground. But they were practically kids back then, reckless teenagers..

He dipped his head to nip at her collar bone as he drew his hand across her hip and touched a soft patch of curls. He knew from memory that they were auburn, like her hair, contrasting with the pale, milky color of her skin. He drew his fingers through the silky locks and let his hand slide lower and lower. Sal arched her back as he found her warmth, already moist. He applied pressure to her delicate bud, a soft rubbing that made her squirm. He found a rhythm, between her sweet kisses, his moving fingers, and the arching of her hips into his palm. His fingers dipped lower into her slit, moving her glorious juices to where he could continue teasing her.

“I am literally going to explode if you keep doing that,” she moaned into his ear, her voice husky with desire.

“We can’t have that,” he said and pulled his hand away. “Not yet.”

He kissed her long and hard before pulling back. The moonlight was streaming in through the window now, or maybe he was just becoming adjusted to the darkness. He looked at the curves of her body, trying his best to burn her image into a memory. He brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting her sweet juices. The taste brought him to his knees beside the bed, putting him at face level with her delicate folds. He didn’t waste any time in lowering his head into her softness, planting kisses and extending his tongue to lap at her dewy slit. She tasted like honey, like a ripened fruit, juicy and sweet. It was like tasting a dessert he hadn’t had in a long time.

Sal was writhing underneath his mouth, her hips jerking and twitching against his tongue. She thrust her hands into his dark hair, pulling and pushing at the same time. She moaned his name and he thought he would lose his mind.

He pried his mouth away from her and stood, looming over her. He grabbed her hips and pulled her up the bed as he climbed over her, settling between her legs. He held himself up as he dipped to her mouth and kissed her deeply, giving her a taste. He was hard and ready – he’d been hard and ready from the beginning – and let his member brush against the inside of her thighs. She shivered against him and grabbed at his shoulders, back, and ass, fingernails clawing and scratching. She ground her hips up to meet his.

“Levi,” she said breathily and a chill ran up his spine. “I’m ready. Please.”

That was all the sign he needed. He positioned himself at her opening, exercising the highest degree of self-control. He was determined to perform the opposite of their previous encounter. Hell, opposite of all their previous encounters. Whether it was a hasty fuck in a shed that was hardly satisfying for him and definitely not for her, or two 16 year olds fumbling around without a clue, he was going to show her what could be between them.

He eased into her opening, sliding gently into her moist core. They let out simultaneous sighs as he waited inside her, fighting against his urge to take her fiercely. He slowly began moving inside her, a fluid motion of his hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss as his hips continued their movements. She kissed up his jaw and captured his earlobe between her teeth, nipping it softly. She let go and rested her head lower between them, letting her forehead touch his collarbone.

His hips were swinging freely now, not brutally, but smoothly and evenly, like a well-oiled machine. Levi was oddly calm, feeling the tension building lower and a sweat breaking out over his skin. Sal, on the other hand, was a different story. She was writhing beneath him, her hips lifting to meet his with every thrust. Her head fell back against the pillow and she arched her back against him in time. She wrapped her leg around his hips.

“C’mon, Levi,” she groaned as she ran her fingers through his hair and clawed at his back. Her toes were curled so tightly she knew they would be cramping once her body finally relaxed. At that moment a delicious pressure was growing larger in her belly. “I’m so close.” He let a dry laugh escape his lips before lowering to suck a nipple into his mouth. His hips began to swing more freely, knowing Sloan was close to her release. He’d been holding back, wanting to build her first. Now, he needed to catch up with her.

He could feel the tension building in Sal. Every muscle in her body was coiled, ready to spring. He was beginning to worry that she wasn’t even breathing. He could feel his release coming, just a thrust away. Sal finally let out a breath she’d been holding and gasped his name. Her body shook and she clawed at his back, surely leaving marks in the wake of her climax. That was all it took to push him over the edge. He rolled off of her quickly, grabbing a handkerchief he'd placed on the corner of the bed, holding it in his hand, and releasing himself into it. He felt his body relax, and he dropped the cloth to the floor before laying back against the bed. They laid in silence, catching their breaths before she rolled toward him, resting her head on his chest. She brushed at his hair before letting her hands tease at his lower abdomen.

“That was much better,” she cooed in the darkness. She had been angry with him since their encounter in the shed. It was a far cry from the intimacy she thought they’d share after being apart for so many years. That day in the shed, she couldn’t help but feeling taken advantage of. Levi had been able to satisfy his own base urges that day, but left her wanting, as if her own satisfaction was not his concern. But this exchange had erased that negative energy. Levi had proven that he did care about her own release. He’d taken care to show her that. They laid in silence, just enjoying the calmness in each other’s arms.

Sal’s thoughts began to drift to the summons the next day. Levi had made it very clear that he did not want her prepared to fight. She knew it was because he was concerned about her and her injuries – though he wasn’t the best at voicing his emotions – but after the strenuous activity they’d just been involved in, it was safe to say he wasn’t too worried about a few broken ribs or his own ankle. She was prepared not to worry with the 3D gear at the summons – sort of. But then Erwin had given her new instructions – a way to get the gear there without Levi even knowing. Should she tell him what they were planning? Surely Levi would bring his own.

“Levi, I want to talk about tomorrow,” she whispered into the darkness. It wasn’t exactly her favorite idea of pillow talk, but considering their renewed intimacy she felt the need for full disclosure. That was what couples did, right? Were they even a couple now? She felt her eyes go slightly cross eyed.

“Levi.” Her voice was answered by the sound of deep breathing. She felt a smile break across her face. He was fast asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The sun was streaming in on Sloan’s face. She was so warm and cozy, all wrapped under her blankets. She finally felt like she’d had a good night’s sleep. She snuggled further into her pillow and sighed with content. The arm draped around her waist pulled her closer. She thought back to their activities. The things he’d done to her – his tongue, his hands, his body – and Sal felt her body reawakening. She could easily convince him to perform again.

She didn’t know everything that had transpired in his life over the time they’d been apart. Had there been other women? Maybe. Sloan had relationships of her own to admit to if he ever asked. Sloan realized she didn’t care. Though Levi was strong, calculated, and about as movable as a mountain, when it came to her, his control was weak, she could see.

There was a knock on the door and she felt herself go rigid as a board. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but judging by the light of the sun, it was at least breakfast, perhaps later.

“Captain Sloan,” said a voice Sal recognized as Hange’s. She knocked again at the door. Levi tightened his grip around her waist.

“Just be quiet and she’ll go away,” he whispered in her ear, his breath moving her hair and sending shivers up her spine.

“I don’t know what time it is, we must have overslept,” she whispered back.

The knocking came louder this time. “I can hear you in there, Captain Sloan! It’s close to time to depart and you haven’t reported to breakfast yet. I was sent by the Commander to awake you, and I was told not to leave until I saw you were up.”

Sal threw the covers off, irritated by the interruption. “I’m getting up, Hange,” she called out to the closed door.

“I’ll wait here until I see for sure,” Hange’s muffled voice replied from the other side. Sal jerked her pants up and dug out a clean shirt. She shook it out to get rid of the wrinkles before quickly buttoning it and going for the door.

“Don’t open that door,” Levi growled in warning. Sloan shot him a look, as if to tell him where he could shove it, before cracking the door just enough to show Hange she was awake.

“Here I am, Hange,” she said to the woman on the other side of the door.

Hange took in the form of her, however small the sliver was with the door only opened six inches. Her disheveled hair, wrinkled, untucked shirt, and shoeless feet. “Nice to see you awake, Captain. We were worried when you didn’t come down for breakfast.” Hange put her hand on the door, trying to press it open. Sal applied pressure on her side, trying to keep the woman from opening it anymore, but not wanting to seem too suspicious. “Is everything alright, Sloan?”

“Fine, fine,” Sloan replied hurriedly, “I’m just not decent.”

“You’re dressed well enough. It’s just us ladies here,” Hange said and pushed the door with a force that surprised Sloan. She stepped into the room. “Let’s grab your things and go. We’ll be getting in formation soon-“ She stopped in the middle of the room as she surveyed the bed. “Well, Captain Levi. I can’t say I expected to see you here, but your room was going to be my next stop.”

Levi glared up at her from where he was sitting up on Sloan’s bed, the covers pooling in his lap and still covering his lower half. The muscles in his chest and arms were clenched in irritation as he looked at the squad leader.

“This is awkward. How will I ever get this image out of my mind?” Hange said as she turned to Sloan, who had one arm crossed across her torso and the other holding her forehead as it hung in embarrassment. She knew her whole face was covered in a blush.

“OK, message received. We’ll be reporting momentarily,” Sloan motioned to the door, the sign for Hange to exit. “And I think it goes without saying that we can keep this little encounter to ourselves?”

“Of course, Sloan,” Hange replied as she walked out. “I’m actually already trying to forget it ever happened!” She waved as she walked down the hall.

Sloan shut the door behind her and leaned against the door, looking over at Levi. He was still grouchy, but less now that Hange had left. His brow relaxed slightly, and Sal could see that the dark circles under his eyes were gone. “I guess we really do need to get going.”

Levi slid to the side of the bed before removing the covers and standing. He bent to pick up his pants and Sal admired the view: the shapely muscles of his thighs and ass, the graceful, yet hard curve of his lower back, what hung heavy between his legs. She felt her mouth go dry as all her moisture pooled elsewhere. She set to readying herself instead of dwelling on how much she wanted to just climb back into the bed. She furiously brushed her hair up into a tight bun on top of her head. She tucked her shirt in and set about finding a pair of socks before sinking her feet into her boots.

When she turned back around, Levi was making her bed, pulling the sheets so tight there wasn’t a crease in sight. With the last remnants of clothing from the floor and the bed made, it was as if nothing ever happened. Sloan felt a sadness at that – she liked the way the bed looked unkempt, their boots abandoned on their sides, the clothes tossed haphazardly about as if discarded in haste.

They both reached for their jackets.

“Leave the jacket,” Levi said. Sal’s head snapped to face him. She remembered their earlier conversation. He’d ordered her not to bring any of her gear; she would be travelling as a Captain and an ambassador, not a soldier, and therefore would not need it. She would not wear her cape or jacket, or any other clothing that could conceal her gear, in case she tried to sneak it by him.

“Leave _your_ jacket,” she countered. They were both still injured, after all. He pretended his ankle was healed, but she could see in the way he moved that he still favored it. She stood motionless, ready to fight the issue with him.

He studied her face briefly.

“Fine,” he conceded, and she nearly fell over. He took her jacket out of her hands and walked over to her armoire. He opened it and folded both jackets, placing them neatly beside each other inside. He didn’t argue with her. What did that mean? She felt her mind race with possibilities. Was their relationship suddenly something more? Of course sex changed things, but she would be lying to herself if the thought that it was nothing more than a good lay didn’t cross her mind. Was he trying to butter her up for something else? Maybe he was playing nice because he had ulterior motives.

She swallowed a lump as he closed the armoire door on their jackets. He’d ordered her not to bring or use her 3D gear. But he still didn’t know she had orders from Erwin to assist Hange with the capture of the Female Titan. She felt a little stab of guilt. It was a lie of omission and she was doing the exact opposite of his wishes. Regardless of what the night meant, Sal still felt a loyalty to Levi, her old friend and love, despite the confusion of their current status.

They left the room together and walked through the building, down to where the formation was readying. Scouts were walking to and fro, gathering supplies, adjusting their horses, and making sure everything was ready to start the trip to the capital. Sloan and Levi met Erwin beside the carriages.

“Commander,” a young man said sheepishly as he approached them. Sloan watched as the boy scratched at his head. The dark mop of hair on the top of his head moved in an unnatural way, and Sloan realized it was a wig. “I was told I would be sitting in as Eren…”

“Yes, Jean. You will be riding with the Captains and me into the capital,” Erwin looked over at them. “And a good morning to you two as well. I trust given your tardiness that you two do not feel the need to run over the plan?”

“I think the plan has been run into the ground,” Levi replied. “Let’s just get this on the road.”

Erwin gave a dry laugh. “As you order, Captain. Let’s take our seats.” One of the scouts opened the door to the carriage and motioned for them to enter. Jean, the young man, took the steps into the carriage first. Sloan entered next after neither Levi nor Erwin made a motion to board. She took a seat across from Jean. Levi entered next, followed by Erwin. Levi sat next to Jean, adjacent from Sloan, leaving Erwin to sit beside her.

They sat in silence for some time as the caravan began moving. Sloan looked across the carriage at Jean. He didn’t look like Eren, but she supposed with the dark wig they may look similar to someone who wasn’t very acquainted with him. They had the same lanky build. Jean seemed intimidated by the other two men in the carriage. She supposed she would have felt the same – to be, what looked like, a new recruit stuck in a carriage ride with the Captain and Commander of the Survey Corps. He twitched as Levi reached out an arm to brace it across the back of the seat. Levi crossed his legs, ankle to knee and stared out the window.

“Captain Sloan, I was just rereading your recommendation letter from Commander Pixis the other morning. I had no idea you had such varying talents within the military,” Erwin said after they had been riding for a while.

Sloan’s ears reddened a bit. It was true that she’d held many different positions throughout her stints in the Garrison, and the Military Police even before that, but she generally didn’t enjoy talking about them or herself, in general.

“I guess I’ve done a little bit of everything,” she said, “Except for repairs. I’ve never been very good at fixing things.” She gave him a slight smile.

“Except for fixing injuries – I read you were an accomplished medic.”

“Pixis must have written some very glamorous things about me. That was always one of my favorite duties in the military; I thoroughly enjoy aiding my comrades in that capacity.”

“It’s very stark in contrast to what he said was arguably your best position. I had no idea you were such an expert in ammunitions.”

“Oh,” she said. “So from my favorite positions, to least favorite.”

“You didn’t enjoy marksmanship?”

“Oh, no. I loved that aspect. But the end result… I always found that to be very unpleasant, to say the very least. It’s probably one of the main reasons I left the Military Police, to be quite honest.”

“Pixis didn’t disclose any of that information. Did he know much of your history in the Military Police?”

“We had discussed it at times, but he knew it made me uncomfortable. We would practice together, at times. I was much better than him.” She felt herself smile at the memory. “Most of my gun training was done with the Military Police. It went very fast – I didn’t even realize what was happening until I’d been given the title of Sniper. I was really the only sniper in the Military Police at the time.”

“When was the last time you shot a gun? I don’t think I’ve seen you with one since you’ve been in the regiment, correct?”

“Not since I was in the Garrison. I carried a revolver generally, but I haven’t needed to use one in a while. It became more for show as I became Captain. We would shoot for fun, though. All the guns I’ve used were military issued, so once I committed to switching branches I gave up my guns. I don’t guess I have much need for them anymore. Titans don’t really bow to bullets.”

She glanced over and saw that Levi was watching her carefully. She was willing to bet he knew nothing of her past as a Military Sniper, and she was fine with him not knowing. It just led to more questions and judgments. There was really only one reason the Military Police would need high accuracy weapons and a person to control them. Assassinations; human deaths. She could see all the gears turning in both his and Erwin’s head as the dots began to connect.

“I have no wish to ever to go back to that.”

“This war against Titans has the possibility of pitting humans against humans. We could use your skills.”

“No, no,” she said, growing panicked. “That was one of the main reasons I left the Military Police. No one understands what it’s like… It’s highly personal, different. Calculated. Looking down the scope. Watching. Sometimes for hours at a time, waiting. Until you pull the trigger and see what a high powered rifle will do to a skull.”

“No one will make you do anything you don’t want to do,” Levi said evenly, bringing her back to her senses.

“I don’t mean assassinations, which is what I assume they used you for. But you could be extra security. Many people are hostile toward us in this division. What if you provided back up for say, Levi, while he met with some individuals who may want to do him harm?”

Sal felt the blood drain from her face for different reasons. Was Erwin saying he knew about their tryst? Or their past relationship? She also knew she did not want to be looking down a scope positioned between Levi and someone else. She didn’t know if she could handle that responsibility – the possibility of having Levi’s blood on her hands, should something go wrong, should she be too slow, or a fraction of a millimeter off…

“Erwin, this conversation is highly inappropriate given the company and the mission at hand.” Levi was trying his best to get away from such an uncomfortable topic, Sal knew. If it was them, minus the cadet, she could imagine he’d have a few choice words for Erwin. Her discomfort must have been evident.

“You’re absolutely right, Captain. Please accept my apologies, Sloan. Perhaps we can discuss this another time.”

_No thanks,_ Sloan thought, but nodded once instead before turning back to look outside, not wanting to face Levi again. Her past as a sniper was the least of her secrets she was worried about.


	11. Chapter 11

“Erwin,” the division commander of the Military Police shook Erwin’s hand as he climbed down from the carriage in Stohess.

“Nile,” Erwin responded as he returned the man’s handshake. The last time they had seen each other was at the military tribunal, and it wasn’t under the most pleasant terms. This time, as well, was not something Erwin had been eagerly anticipating, but it had to be done. If all went as planned, they would not only keep Eren under Scout Regiment authority, but also prove to the Military Police that the Regiment was an important division.

Nile nodded to Levi as he exited next. His eyes stopped on Sloan as she exited last, leaving the recruit in the carriage alone.

“Sloan Emery,” he said slowly. “What a sight for sore eyes… I had no idea you were affiliated with the Corps now.”

“It was a recent appointment,” she responded curtly. An awkward silent followed.

“I see,” he said, his gaze still lingering, as if calculating something. “Bruce.” He waved a soldier over. Bruce was young, possibly in his early 20s, with sandy blonde hair and fair skin. Despite his young age, his eyes were darkened, as if he’d seen more than someone his age should. “Search Captain Sloan for weapons.” He didn’t wait for a signal from Sal before roughly pushing her against the carriage and beginning a pat down. Sloan complied silently, though annoyed by such treatment. She could bet Erwin was kicking himself for thinking she may be an asset as an ambassador. She was practically being treated as a criminal.

“Scared of a little girl, Nile?” Levi asked, irritated, as Bruce continued his search, using his knee to force Sloan’s legs to spread.

“You must not be aware of Sloan’s work,” Nile said.

Bruce tossed a knife to the ground, the same one she always kept close by, a blade the length of her forearm with metal knuckles as the handle. It clanged to the ground, and Bruce declared her clear and released her.

“I’m not sure that was really necessary,” Sloan said as she tried to tuck her shirt back into her pants and right herself.

“Your Captains seem to be very chatty today, Erwin,” Nile said. “Let’s get to the reason we’re here. Where is Eren Yaeger?”

Before anyone could answer, an undeniable sound broke through the air as lightning struck a few blocks over.

“What the hell was that?!” Nile said, before turning to look up at a rooftop, where a group of officers were waiting, watching to see if their aid was needed. “Escort team! Go investigate!”

“Nile,” Erwin said as he looked up at the steam rising into the air. “We must assume there is a Titan.”

“Are you joking? We’re too far inside the wall for a Titan appearance!”

At that same moment, the door to the carriage popped open and the recruit jumped out.

“Not so fast, Yaeger!” One of the MPs tried to restrain him, but he pulled off the messy wig.

“Don’t ever call me that again! I’m done with this!” He ran up to Erwin.

“Meet up with your squad, Soldier,” Erwin said to him.

“Yes, sir!” he said and began to put on the 3D maneuvering gear that was offered to him by another of the Survey Corps. Another scout walked to Sloan and opened what looked like a briefcase, but Levi knew it to be one of the 3D gear cases. As she began to reach for the gear Levi grabbed her arm, squeezing tightly.

“Captain,” his voice was low and dangerous. The scout looked over Sloan’s shoulder at Levi, his eyes wide with fear as if there was a demon standing behind her. Sloan didn’t bother to look at him. “Remember your injuries?”

Sloan pulled her arm out of his grasp as nonchalantly as possible – this poor scout was already witness to such a strange display between captain and captain. Sal wanted as few people to notice their exchange as possible.

“I have orders from the Commander to rendezvous with Hange.” Her tone was as cool and even as she could manage, trying her best to keep him calm. This was nothing personal, she was trying to say. The Levi she knew long ago exercised strong restraint, but there was always something lurking in those grey eyes, like a monster swimming in the depths. She’d seen it before and did not want to unleash it.

“I thought we’d both agreed…” he trailed off, a tone of betrayal in his voice.

“Captain.” She shot him a look over her shoulder.

_This is not the time,_ her look said.

_Disobeying an order?_ His look said back.

_You’re no higher than me._

_Think your title means shit here? Get over yourself, little girl._

With that, she let her gear fly, taking off, not wanting to see another angry thought in his eyes. Everything had been so strange since she’d made the transfer, though she wasn’t sure what she’d thought would happen. Truth be told, her life had been flipped upside down since she saw Levi at the Tribunal.

Such a deep slice – knowing he was alive and well but had never tried to contact her. He said he’d thought she had been long dead, but he didn’t seem to care too much. They’d both been in the military, for God’s sake! She tried to shake those thoughts out of her head. How long would one grieve after thinking a friend was dead? Even more so, if one assumed she was more than a simple “friend.” Surely the man was entitled to some peace after a time, she argued with herself, still wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt.

And then, last night. She really didn’t know what to think of that.

Soaring above most of the homes and buildings, it was easy to find where the regiment was setting up barrels to capture the female Titan. She landed smoothly on the rooftop next to Hange.

“CAPTAIN!” she squealed. “I’m so glad you were able to join us!”

“Commander Erwin was especially supportive of me meeting up with you,” Sloan said, happy to be greeting a face of approval. “What should I do to help?”

“Currently, I am supervising the scouts as they place the barrels. I’ll assist in deciding the optimum placements for the barrels to discharge, striking the female Titan at the most opportune moment! You may watch and help me supervise, and I will help show you how we decide to put which barrels where.”

Sloan followed Hange around on the rooftop as she directed the angles of barrels. There was quite a science to this, Sal found, and Hange was a good teacher, despite being too energetic and excitable for Sal’s everyday tastes. They hurriedly set up the barrels.

“Eren was instructed to try to force Annie – the female Titan – through this area. We really want to capture her in one piece. We believe she will make a run for the wall. If she is a smart girl, she will run, that is. She will know this is a setup, I’m sure. She will be cornered, with another intelligent Titan and the Regiment ready to capture her,” Hange quickly explained. “I just don’t know what’s taking them so long.”

Then, as if on cue, the roof began to shake and the undeniable pounding of Titan footsteps were coming their way. At the end of the block, Sal saw the female Titan turn around the corner, her feet digging into the stone street as she turned her momentum down their corridor.

“Everyone ready for launch!” Hange said, her glasses pushed high up on top of her head, her hair wild and greasy, and her face full of psychotic excitement. “She’s coming…” Hange let out a maniacal laugh, causing several troops to look in her direction with looks of disturbed concern. All the troops grabbed the ropes, readying themselves to release the spears.

“NOW!” Hange said and the rooftop exploded in the sounds of the launching barrels. The wires flew out, some arrows finding their way into the Titan’s joints, while others wrapped around her limbs. The Titan froze momentarily, all her muscles moving as she tried to work her way out but was being pulled tighter and tighter by the wires. They pulled tighter and she fell back onto the ground, shaking the surrounding buildings. Two troops on top of the adjacent building unrolled a net and threw it across her, with other survey troops utilizing their 3D gear to perfectly place the net across the Titan.

“WEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Hange screamed in glee as the Titan was stabilized. “Come along, Captain! Now the real fun begins!” She lowered herself to the ground with her 3D gear, leaving Sal to follow behind.

They both landed on the stone streets with little more than the soft tap of their boots.

“Be a good girl, and hold still,” Hange said to the Titan and she strolled forward slowly, her joints moving oddly, as if she was in a daze. She stopped in front of the Titan’s large, blue eyes. Hange pulled out her blade and positioned it inches from the Titan’s cornea. Hange’s own eyes were round and crazed, her pupils pinpoint. “What can you do now? It’s useless to try to call the other Titans. But I can make you try.”

Sloan still wondered about her calling the Titans. What if she tried? Would they break down the lower walls? Would the infamous Colossus and Armored Titans appear to help their comrade in need? Sal hoped Hange would show discretion, but she seemed to be nearly out of her mind at the moment.

“I’ll get all the information I can out of you,” Hange said and cocked her blade, ready to impale.

The Titan’s eyes widened, and she swung her leg out, sweeping across the barrels holding her down.

“Hange!” Sal cried as the Titan’s leg came at them, trying to sweep them out of the way. They both jumped and engaged their gear seconds before annihilation and flew back up to the rooftop.

“DAMN!” Hange gasped. “She shook free!”

“Squad leader, Captain!” one troop said, “You were too close! You’re always putting yourself in unsafe situations!” The Female Titan shook off the last of her restraints and began to run.

“Don’t worry about me!” Hange cried out. “Stop the Titan! Capture her!”

Sal flew off behind her, the troops close behind. She locked her gear into the Titan’s calf and shot past, slicing into the muscle. The Titan stumbled forward, but the cut was too shallow and she quickly regained footing.

_Damn, she’s so fast,_ Sal thought as she hung back and flew higher, out of kicking range. The Titan punched through a building, spraying the troops with bricks and debris. Sloan avoided the largest of the pieces but felt several smaller pieces slice across her face. She scratched her eyes against the dust and sand, trying to clear them up quickly. She opened her eyes and saw two of the 104th troops shoot past her and the group. One was the dark-haired girl, Mikasa, who she knew from their previous encounter with the female Titan. The other was Armin, the gentle boy she’d helped after the Titan forest mission. Mikasa was a girl with an authority problem – impulsive and hot headed – while Armin was a bright boy with a good heart but not the best at combat. Neither of them should have been trying to break ahead of the pack.

“Mikasa! Armin!” She shouted at them. “FALL BACK!”

Before either of them could follow the order, the female Titan turned, kicking out at Mikasa. She avoided the attack, but her lines were severed, leaving her to free fall to the ground.

“MIKASA!” Armin screamed as the girl’s body skid across the stones, flipping and turning like a ragdoll before she finally came to a stop, lying too still across the street.

“Go to her, Armin!” Sal shouted back. “Everyone else, stop the Titan!” _Where the hell is Eren?_

Up ahead, the Titan was coming to a clearing. She stopped at the clearing and turned, watching the corps.

Sloan and the other troops stopped on a rooftop, within sight, but not reach. With the Titan in the clearing, their 3D gear was useless. As they all waited in silence, each of them recalculating the next move, another lightning bolt shot through the sky, striking at a part of the city.

The lightning bolt was quickly followed by the pounding of footfalls, moving terrifyingly fast and coming toward them with a purpose. The female Titan’s eyes widened with understanding and she turned and continued running.

“She’s going for the wall!” Sloan shouted out as she flew to another rooftop, trying to go around the clearing. Eren shot past them all, chasing behind the female. He caught up with her before she even made it out of the clearing, tackling her the ground and launching a fist at her face. She was able to right herself and escape his clutches, however. They ran down another city corridor. Eren readied to launch himself at her again and her leg became like crystal. As he charged, she swung her leg, connecting with his calf severing the leg from his body. He fell to the ground, but not before delivering another punch to her face.

After a few minutes, it was looking grim. Annie kicked Eren to the side with her crystalized leg again, then pummeled his head with a diamond hard fist. Sal covered her mouth in horror as fluid and blood gushed from his Titan head with each strike. He finally lay still, and Annie stopped and turned to run again.

Sal stood stunned, looking from Annie, who was running toward the wall, and Eren, who was lying mutilated, a leg and arm completely severed, and a head that looked like mashed potatoes.

Her hands shook as she reached to the triggers on her gear, getting ready to do something. Should she go after Annie, or tend to Eren?

_Annie, of course!_ She told herself and began to walk to the edge of the rooftop. She was in a state of shock; her body would hardly animate itself.

Before she made another move, movement down below caught her eyes. It was Eren, still a demolished heap of mess, but he was moving, righting himself. His eyes were glowing, a demonic light, and his whole body was burning with flames. He crouched and chased after her, like a rabid animal after its prey. He caught up with Annie just before the wall and tackled her to the ground. His Titan form was crazed, and he fought with a single-minded motive: kill. Maim. Pulverize. He grabbed her face and squeezed, and squeezed, and squeezed until her skull gave way and Titan blood burst out from between his fingers.

Annie let out a blood-curdling scream as she struck back with her elbow. It landed on Eren’s face, and he released her just long enough for her to flip over and kick him across the clearing. It was enough time for her to regain her composure and run back for the wall. She leapt and begin climbing.

Sal heard panicked talking from another rooftop and saw Hange and the remainder of the troops. She couldn’t hear them, but Sloan launched her gear to go after Annie before she got up the wall. Right ahead of her, she saw Mikasa, apparently recovered. Mikasa shot toward the wall, severing Annie’s fingers and dropping her to the ground, unable to climb any longer.

Sloan attached her gear to the wall, hanging there to watch, ready to intervene if needed, but it didn’t seem necessary. As soon as Annie hit the ground, Eren was on top of her, pounding. An arm flew off; Annie’s head shot across the courtyard.

But then Eren began to lean down toward Annie’s body, mouth open, fangs dripping, readying to eat.

“NO! EREN!” Sloan heard Mikasa shout. Sloan shot down, landing on Eren’s back, turning to face his neck. His body was a length of corded, hot muscle. All the muscles in his back where taut, as if he was fighting to consume her, but a part of him was holding back. Sloan pulled out her blades quickly; time was of the essence. She’d never cut anyone out of a Titan body before, but she couldn’t spend too much time thinking. What if she cut off an arm? Would it grow back? She prepared to run up to his neck.

Eren bit the back of Annie’s neck, exposing her inside the Titan. Sloan sank her blade down into Eren’s flesh as he rose up, bucking and rearing as a blinding light roared between them. She held onto the blade, dangling above the carnage as the light began to burn through her closed eyelids. She heard a movement above her over the rumble, recognized Levi’s voice. Eren seemed to be lowering himself back down to the ground, no longer standing upright. The light subsided, and she opened her eyes, feeling as if her face were on fire. Levi was standing at Eren’s neck, his blades still out. Sloan rose and ran up the length of Eren’s body, grasping him under the shoulders as Levi hacked away at the muscle fibers holding him in place. She fell backwards as he finally came loose. Mikasa and Armin ran to take Eren and recover him.

Levi did not acknowledge her as he jumped down to examine the girl that was previously inside the female Titan.

Annie lay exposed inside the neck where Eren had begun to bite her out, but her body was encapsulated in a crystal, similar to what could cover her Titan body. Levi slashed at the crystal with his blade, but he and Sloan both knew from their experience in the forest that even an ultra-hard steel blade would not cut it.

“Cut her out and carry her down while we decide what to do with her,” he said to a few of the scouts. Without a glance at Sloan he hopped down and walked away. 

She stood, watching as the troops worked to remove Annie. She looked so peaceful inside her diamond tomb, as if she were simply sleeping. She watched as it took ten strapping young troops to carry her off her steaming Titan corpse. Sloan slid down, still in a bit of a stupor as she walked away. She passed Mikasa and Armin, tending to Eren as she walked back to Hange and Mike.

“Captain, you’re bleeding,” Mike said as she came closer. She reached up and touched her face, her fingers coming away with bright blood. She touched the other side of her face and still more blood. She looked down at her shirt, stained where blood had dripped down her face. She held out her bloody hands in front of her and saw they were trembling. Mike reached out, softly touching her wrists as he rubbed at the blood. “My hands are too dirty. I’m just leaving sand and grit behind. Here,” he walked her to the wall of a building and lowered her down to sit, braced against the wall. “Wait here.” She didn’t need to be told twice. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at the destruction around her. All her comrades, the civilians dead. All because of a plan concocted by the Scout Regiment. And for what? An encapsulated traitor who couldn’t give them answers. She felt hot, angry tears spill out from between her clenched lids. She could understand Eren’s beast now.

She was startled when a cold, wet cloth touched her face. Her eyes flew open and she saw Levi crouched in front of her. He was on one knee, his left arm resting on the other bent knee. He poured some water from a flask onto a soft handkerchief before dabbing again at her face.

“Drink,” he said, extending the flask to her. Her hand slowly moved toward it, shaking fiercely. Levi pushed her arm down and brought the flask to her lips, tipping it back. She took in a small sip before turning away. He set it on the ground before removing his cape and wrapping her in it.

“I thought you said no capes,” she said quietly.

“I said no to a lot of things.”

“So, you’d planned to fight, even after making me promise not to.”

“Do you think I thought you would keep _your_ promise?” She looked away, angry at him, the situation, the day, the mission, life, death. He continued to dap at her face. “We are both stubborn people, and fast learners. It’s a dangerous combination.” She didn’t respond. She knew if she opened her mouth, she would start crying. Not because she was sad, but because she was angry and traumatized from the carnage she’d seen. She could hold it in until she was back in her bed. And Levi would not be accompanying her there anymore. He would stay in his room, on his side of the table, his side of the carriage. Nothing more would cross between them except for day-to-day Corps doings.

“How are Mikasa and Armin?” She asked, trying to steer the topic to something more general.

“They’re fine.”

“Mikasa should get checked out. Her lines snapped, and she had a terrible fall.”

“Whenever we return to base everyone will have a complete check.”

“You should go to her now.”

Levi didn’t even bother responding, which only made her angrier. She felt a white-hot rage creeping up her neck. His calm demeanor was fanning her temper. She allowed herself to be distracted by what was going on across the courtyard.

“What are they doing?” she asked as she heard a clatter and looked to see quite a commotion around Annie.

“They are restraining her further. She’ll be moved underground and guarded until we decide what to do with her.”

Levi looked down at the handkerchief, trying to find a clean corner to wipe from. It was nearly saturated with blood. He’d planned to completely ignore Sal as best as he could and had done a great job until he’d overheard Mike telling one of the Medics that Captain Sloan needed assistance. In refusing to even look at her, he’d missed that blood was streaming down her face from multiple wounds. She also looked to have some sort of sun burn, possibly from the light emitted by the Titans. After he’d heard that she was injured, he had to tend to her himself. God, the blood. He comforted himself by saying that head wounds always bled excessively, but his chest still tightened when he saw how soaked the cloth was.

His irritation had quickly disappeared as he looked after her wounds.

She stood up suddenly, nearly knocking him back.

“I’m ready to meet up with the Commander and Squad Leaders,” she said as she swayed dangerously. He stood up beside her and grabbed her arm to steady her.

“You’re not safe to walk. You’ve lost a lot of blood. Sit back down. Let me carry you.”

“That will not be necessary, Captain. I just need to get my bearings.” She stood for a few minutes, trying to steady herself by grabbing his upper arm. Truth was, she did feel very dizzy. Levi had tried to hide the handkerchief from her sight, but she still saw how bloody it was. But she was sure allowing Levi to carry her back to the carriage was not on her very short list of formalities that they would be engaging in now that she had deemed their relationship professional forth going.

She began walking away, Levi awkwardly holding on to her arm. She didn’t shoo him off because, well, she would have fallen without him there to stabilize her.

“Captain Sloan,” Erwin said. “Levi, escort her back to the carriage.”

“That’s not necessary, Commander,” Sloan said. “I feel fine. I would like to tend to the wounded.”

Erwin and Levi shot each other a look. “No, Captain. I think it’s best that you rest. Let the Medics tend to the wounded.”

“Sloan, allow me to escort you back to carriages,” Nile said. She gave him a weary smile.

“Are you sure you trust me, Nile? After all that earlier. Besides, I’m not even sure you still know how to use your 3D gear.”

“It was just a formality, Sloan. I respect your _talents,”_ he said. “I can promise you, you are safe with me.”

“But what happened to your face?”

“My face? Age gets the best of all of us after a while, Captain.”

“No, why is it so purple?”

“That’s enough,” Levi said before gathering her in his arms and walking toward the buildings. “Do not squirm or you will regret it.”

“Commander! Please!” Sloan cried. “Levi wants me dead. He will hurt me.”

Levi’s gear carried them away before Erwin could issue a response. He and Nile watched them fly over the city back toward the carriages. They would be riding through the city soon enough to perform clean up. Erwin didn’t have the heart to tell Sloan that there were no injured comrades. Everyone was either alive – or dead.

“Your Captains make quite the interesting couple, Erwin,” Nile said. “Captain Levi seems to be quite taken with her.”

“Yes, Captain Sloan is really something else.” Erwin scratched at his face. “I’ve never seen Levi lay hands on someone like that.”

“Sloan is quite the handful,” Nile said. “I knew her well many years ago, back when she was in the Military Police.”

“Is that so?”

“She’s quite a good shot. No one was better. But the First Interior Squad took notice. They trained her as an assassin. She was… deadly, in a word. She didn’t like the work very much and transferred out to the Garrison. She takes easy to everything she tries.”

“That is what I am seeing.”

“She’s quite the heartbreaker, as well. She has had quite the list of suitors, even during her stint with the Garrison.”

“You as well, Nile? You seem to have followed her closely.”

“She’s a little too much for me. Too intense, too dangerous, unpredictable,” he said with a small laugh. “She is not a woman who is easily tamed.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted with new edits and added content!

Sloan dozed on the way back to the headquarters. With Levi on her right, and Mike on her left, she leaned back and forth between them. Levi was concerned about her sleepiness, worried she may have hit her head at some point, but she would frequently startle herself awake. Across from them sat Hange and Pastor Nick, the senior leader of the wall cult. He seemed to know some useful information concerning the walls and the monarchy but was proving to be very strong willed and tight lipped.

Levi glanced down at Sloan where she was resting her head against his shoulder, her pink lips parted and dark lashes resting on her cheeks. He was having to make a conscious effort not to stare at her, to watch her breathing, but it was difficult when she looked so peaceful and innocent.

“So, I will meet up with the remainder of the 104th squad and take them into hiding until we can clear them all,” Mike recapped.

“Right. Any of them could be accomplices to the female Titan,” Levi responded. They were all still shocked to discover that one of the recruits had been a Titan shifter. There was no way to know if one of the others could be a Titan in hiding as well.

“You two will see what Nick can tell us about the walls.”

“That’s right, Mike,” Hange said and clapped Nick on the shoulder. “We’ll see if Nick can’t help us out a little bit. It was quite a shock to see that Titan in the wall. I’m curious to see just how much he is able to tell us about that.”

Nick was staring stone-faced ahead, seemingly unphased. After the female Titan was captured and the damage to the wall was surveyed, a Titan was found peeking out from the rubble, completely inanimate. As they were studying it, they were interrupted by Nick, screaming at them to quickly cover it.

“You may try any tactic you like, but I will not falter,” Nick responded.

“We’ll see about that, old man,” Levi said.

“What about Captain Sloan?”

“She should go with you, Mike,” Hange said. “You will need all the hands you can get in case one of the 104th really is an accomplice. Any of them could be revealed at any point.”

“She will be a great asset to the team.”

“No,” Levi said, his voice stern and finite, though maybe a little more than he’d intended.

“Captain?”

“She is injured. She still hasn’t fully recovered from the previous battle. If my leg can keep me out of battle, then she has more than enough reasons to have a few boring days.”

“Then where should she go, Levi?” Hange asked.

“Send her with Erwin on business. It’s just dull enough to help with recovery.”

“She’s going to be very unhappy with that assignment.”

“Like I give a shit.”

* * *

Sloan flipped and flopped in the bed, going back and forth as visions of mangled bodies, crushed children, and bloody organs flooded her dream sleep. Beads of sweat dotted her forehead and neck, though she was only covered with a thin sheet. How had she gotten to her room? Where were her clothes? They weren’t lying on the floor, where she normally left them. She couldn’t remember anything from the carriage ride back. It wasn’t too late – maybe around midnight or so. When she closed her eyes to try to go back to sleep, the same visions came back to her mind. Even in her time as a sniper, she’d never seen such carnage. A good, clean kill – absolutely. Sometimes the shot was so perfect, an untrained eye wouldn’t see the wound until close inspection. Nothing like the bloody massacre she’d seen that day.

She rolled over the side of the bed, thinking maybe a drink would help calm her and quiet her thoughts enough to go back to sleep. Something amber and warm that burned on the way down. She slipped on her slippers and robe, tying the sash around her naked waist. Everyone should be asleep at such an hour, especially after such a trying day, so she wasn’t worried about being seen. If they were still up, she would simply take the whole bottle back up to her room so she could enjoy it in lonesome silence.

Her footsteps were nearly silent as she glided down the hallway and down the stairway, toward the dining area. She stopped at the closed door, listening closely for any sounds of conversation on the other side. Only silence filled the space, and she quietly opened the door and let herself in. Several bottles in varying shapes and sizes lined the shelves. She went straight for them, eyeing the bottles before choosing a whiskey and turning to grab a glass from a cabinet. The liquid looked like thin honey as she poured two finger widths into her glass and paused to inhale the deep, spicy aroma before taking a sip and letting it slither down her throat.

She was so caught in enjoying her drink that she barely heard a cup being set down onto the table behind her. Her hand slowly went to the front of her robe as she began pulling the edges together. She didn’t turn around, suddenly self-conscious of how she was – or wasn’t – dressed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone else was here. I’m not dressed appropriately.”

“Seen it all before,” came the cool reply from behind her.

She turned around to see Levi sitting at the table, sipping from a teacup.

“I thought everyone would be asleep by now,” she said as she walked towards the table, setting the bottle down but holding onto her glass.

He shrugged. “I don’t sleep much, especially not after days like today.”

“So, you just sit up all night drinking tea instead?”

“It’s either that or walk the halls.”

She took a drink from her glass. “What I’m hearing is that it doesn’t get any easier with time.”

He shook his head. “Sometimes it’s better than others, when you feel like you have something to show for it. But today… not today.”

They drank in silence for several minutes, her sipping her whiskey and staring at the table, and him working on his tea. She reached for the bottle to pour herself another serving.

“There’s a wine on the counter that I’ve heard is quite nice,” he said suddenly.

“I don’t like wine. Gives me a headache.” She took another sip. “Is that what you’re drinking out of that teacup? And pretending it’s tea?”

“No, I’m not much of a wine drinker, either.”

“This whiskey is pretty good.”

“I know,” he said. “It’s mine.”

“I don’t see your name on it,” she said as she surveyed the bottle. “Is that why you wanted me to drink the wine instead? Maybe you should keep your things in your room if you don’t want other people to use them.”

He smirked slightly at her scolding as he raised his cup to his mouth. “Maybe _now_ it’s time for you to go back to the Garrison.”

She felt herself bristle, and he stilled as well. It was meant to be in jest, a joke that now she was annoying him by taking his things, but the underlying suggestion was still there, same as before. A constant push for her to leave.

“I know today was difficult for you,” he said softly, trying to take any sting from his words. “I imagine you haven’t seen anything quite like that.”

She drew her head tall, shaking her hair from her neck and shoulders. “I don’t know that anyone has seen anything quite like that, Garrison or Regiment.”

He inclined his head to her, and she could tell he was choosing his words wisely. “Yes, but it’s about mindset… You train your mind a certain way…”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? You just told me it doesn’t get easier.”

“I don’t want you to think if you left it would be a failure,” he said sternly. “No one would think that or blame you. There’s a lot of soldiers here that would give a limb to transfer to the Garrison, to be able to feel safe, like they aren’t going to die tomorrow.”

Her mind was in turmoil. He was trying to shut her out again. Maybe it really did all mean nothing… Maybe sex didn’t mean anything to him. Maybe she made him too upset when she lied to him and went against his wishes. Maybe he was starting to warm up, but that was unforgiveable.

“Maybe…” she said. “Maybe I will… think about leaving…” She picked up her glass and the bottle of whiskey and went back to her room without another word.

* * *

She sat straight up in bed to the knocking on her door. She pulled the covers up to her chin as she collected her thoughts. The sun was streaming in. How long had she slept?

“Captain Sloan,” came a voice from the other side – Bryson.

“Just a second,” she said breathlessly as she jumped out of bed – a little too quickly, she realized, when the room spun. One of her shift dresses lay over the back of her chair, and she quickly pulled it over her head. She pushed her mop of hair out of her eyes as she smoothed the front of her dress. She padded to the door and hurriedly opened it.

“Good day, Bryson,” she said. “What time is it? I’ve been journaling and must have lost track of the time.” She hoped he couldn’t see through the lie. It was unbecoming of a Captain to sleep in, even if some considered her “injured.” Though, her sleep had been less related to her injuries and more so because of the amount of whiskey she’d consumed. It had taken more whiskey than she’d like to admit to push the images from the day and the conversation with Levi out of her mind.

“Captain, you don’t have to pretend with me,” he said with a slight smile. “You’ve had a busy time since you’ve been here. You’re allowed rest. But it is nearly noon, by the way.”

“Well, I guess you’ve caught me, Bryson. Thank you for the wakeup call.”

“I was actually coming by to speak with you about something. May I come in?”

“Of course.” She stepped to the side and allowed him to come in, closing the door behind him. She motioned to the chair for him to have a seat and pulled the quilts tight across her bed, before sitting down. “Please excuse the mess.”

He tilted his head in acknowledgement. “I’ve been thinking about my place here in the Regiment, why I came here, my purposes. It is all very different than I expected.”

“I agree with you, Bryson. It has been a different type of… experience. I have been questioning many things myself.” She wrung her hands a bit, the day and night before lingering in her thoughts. “Is there anything in particular?”

“Well, I just don’t know that this is where I belong. I don’t seem to fit in here, my skillsets are very different than what I feel a scout should have, and, well, honestly, I’m scared of what I’m seeing. After yesterday…” he trailed off, but she knew what he meant. She nodded at him to continue. “Plus, if I’m being completely honest, my original intentions in joining were not to risk life and limb for the military.”

“I’m sorry you are feeling so torn. What were your original expectations? The Corps is not for the faint of heart. The soldiers that join know and understand what may be asked of them.”

He looked very uncomfortable then. His ears were turning a crimson red and he tugged at the collar of his crisp white button up. “Well, I guess I came because I expected us to be together.”

“I understand. It was selfish of me to ask you to come. I should have been clearer in telling you that our job duties would be very different given the rankings and such.”

“I don’t mean like that… I meant _be together_. Like, a man and woman. In a relationship.”

“Oh. OH!” Sloan felt like hitting herself in the head then. She’d known for a while that Bryson would run headfirst into any situation that she’d asked of him, but she didn’t realize that his loyalty was due to a burgeoning love for her. “Bryson, I am very flattered. You are obviously a very handsome man, with many talents, and an excellent mind. I regard you as a colleague, and close friend. But I simply do not have any room in my heart for those feelings.”

Bryson went from red to white, then.

“I hope you’ll understand. This is just not the time for love for me. When I first joined the military, I devoted all my energy to that. I would be a terrible woman if I agreed to a relationship like that, knowing how I am, that I just would not be able to maintain a connection. All my past relationships have failed. It is just not in the cards for me.”

“I understand,” Bryson said. “I know you – how you are. It was ridiculous of me to have these thoughts in my mind, but I just couldn’t get them out; I had to know for sure. You truly are not one to be tamed. I still just had to try.”

Sloan gave him a weak smile. “I _do_ care for you very much. Not only as a subordinate, but as a friend. But not a lover. I am just too far gone for that. I will approve your transfer back to the Garrison, if you’d like. You should go back. Your talent lies there.”

“Thank you, Captain,” he said as they stood. She opened the door and stood to let him pass. He bent down and kissed her briskly on the cheek as he walked by. “I will always treasure you, and our time together, my Captain.” He saluted her one last time before turning and heading back in the direction of his room. As he left, she turned to watch him, one last glance. He would probably go straight to pack his things and leave in the morning, unlikely for their paths to cross again. As she was admiring the view, she saw Levi at the end of the hall, watching with cold eyes as Bryson left.

Sloan closed the door with a thud. She had no desire to see Levi and was thinking of removing her dress and climbing back into bed. Her head was pounding with a dull ache. She pulled back the quilt and caught the bottom hem of her dress just as another brisk knock was at the door.

She padded back to it quickly, angrily almost. Couldn’t a woman have one day of rest?

She yanked the door open, red hair flying, to see Levi on the other side.

“Can I help you?” she said grouchily.

“Random bunk check,” he replied dryly.

“Says who?”

“We have them from time to time, to check for contraband and general cleanliness.”

“You’re just being an annoying asshole.” She began to close the door, but he moved his boot to stop her. “Now is not a good time.”

“That’s the point of _random_ checks.”

She grunted as she tried to push the door back against him, but he was like a boulder. Even if she could move the door, there was no way she could crush his foot in the jamb. With one good push, he sent her jumping back, the door flying open.

She backed away and crossed her arms across her chest. “I’ve never been subjected to one before. Captains are generally exempt from these things, I would expect.”

He looked around the room. “There has been quite an uproar since the Female Titan debacle; no such thing as too careful. You’re not a Titan shifter, are you?”

“Oh, why yes, now that you mention it, I am,” she said sarcastically. “You’ve never noticed before?”

He moved to her bed and pulled back the quilts to reveal disheveled sheets. “Recent tryst?”

She gave a dry laugh. “With whom?”

“Well, you did just have a man leaving your room.”

“Bryson?” she responded. “That’s funny.” She looked at the agitation on his face. “But he is quite handsome, isn’t he? Not a bad idea. Maybe I should call him back in here.”

Levi crouched down and looked beneath the bed. Sloan would have groaned if she weren’t so irritated. He used his hand to rake out piles and piles of clothing, clothing that she had been meaning to wash, but just hadn’t had any time. She’d taken instead to kicking the random articles under her bed.

“You are truly a disgusting creature, Captain,” he said. “And what’s this, a man’s belt?” He held it up in front of her.

“That is _yours_ ¸ Captain.”

“Well, if you can keep souvenirs, so can I.” He held up a pair of small, white cotton panties. She slapped him hard across the face before snatching them out of his hand.

“Take your belt and get out.” She was so angry bright spots were forming in her vision and doing nothing but exacerbating her pounding headache.

Instead, he strode over to her dressing table and grabbed the bottle of whiskey. He surveyed the remainder by tilting it this way and that in the light.

“Didn’t leave much for me, then?” he said. “Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I’ll be taking what’s left with me.”

She pushed him back towards the door. He grabbed the hand that was in the middle of his chest.

“There’s a meeting in 20 minutes. You look like shit. Get cleaned up.”

“ _Y-you_ look like shit,” she managed to stammer out as a comeback, too enraged to think of anything else. “Get _yourself_ cleaned up.”

“And clean up that mess. It’s unbecoming of a Captain.” He began to walk down the hall.

“Clean up _your_ mess!”

He turned to face her. “You’re the only mess around here, Sloan.” He turned and walked away.

She slammed the door and ran to her bed, burying her face in her pillows before letting out a chorus of screaming.

* * *

He heard her muffled screaming as he walked down the stairs and he had to smirk. Something inside of him got off on knowing he could get under her skin, especially after it seemed that she would not be letting him rub against it anytime soon. It was a very intimate feeling to know he could climb inside her mind and irritate her in that way. His smile faded when he thought back to that man – her subordinate from the Garrison – leaving her room earlier. He felt the blade at his side, his first thought: _kill_. The man was probably still nearby. It would be nothing for him to take the man down, despite the size difference. Maybe he’d been her lover in the Garrison; that’s why she’d decided to have him tag along. He stopped where he was and paced, before realizing how crazy he must look. No, he couldn’t kill him. He had nowhere to dump the body, and with people infiltrating the Regiment, it would only add to the hysteria when one of them came up missing. Plus, he despised needless deaths, a little voice reminded him.

No, despite his overwhelming jealousy, a jealousy that made him want to commit acts of violence, what he really wanted to do was go back into her room and take her, replacing any part of her that _that man_ had touched with himself. He shook the thought out of his head. They were both too agitated. It would be too similar to their first time – their first time since seeing each other again. He promised himself he wouldn’t do that again, that he would keep himself under tight control. He’d already broken that promise, just a few minutes before when he’d flown down to her room after _Bryson_ had left, his vision red with anger.

Why was this the only way they could interact? He either wanted his hands all over her skin, or they were arguing; there was no in between. He thought they’d been doing well the night before, when they’d found themselves alone and together in the dining area. It had felt easy, drinking and talking calmly in the dim light of the candle. Her sarcasm had been something he’d had to adjust to, an unexpected part of her he hadn’t known she had when they were younger. It wasn’t a turn off for him. He actually enjoyed the repartee. It was probably a coping mechanism she’d gained in the military.

But then something had changed. He’d meant it as a joke when he said she should go back to the Garrison – partially. A joke to keep her away from his whiskey, but in truth he still wanted her out of the regiment. Their previous day’s battle only made him surer it had to happen. She couldn’t keep from getting hurt. Too accident prone. The atmosphere had changed immediately after he’d mentioned it. He’d never had a way with words, but he could still punch himself for ruining their interaction, an interaction he’d been enjoying. It was frustrating, their back and forth. One minute she would be warm, the next cold. He couldn’t seem to keep his own emotions in check. He knew their inability to sync was his fault, also. 

He thought back to when he’d laid her down in her bed the previous evening after carrying her in from the carriage. She was too beautiful; he felt his chest tighten as he remembered. Her soft skin, her pink lips, the gentle curve of her waist. He’d allowed his fingers to linger on her cheeks, and she’d barely stirred if she knew he was there. He’d released her hair from that bun he hated so much – hated because it kept all that coppery sunshine contained and tamed. His fingers had run through her hair then, enjoying the sensation but wondering if she’d ever let him do it again.

He’d placed her boots inside the armoire, collected the clothing he’d peeled off her, and searched for where she normally placed her dirty things for washing. The basket was no where to be found. Instead, he draped her things over his arm and let himself out of her room, closing the door quietly and taking her clothes back to put in his own basket for cleaning.

God, that woman drove him insane. His mind was a web of confusing thoughts and emotions. Despite thoroughly agitating her and finding new ways to push her buttons, he knew the truth. His mind was upside down knowing she was nearby. Every moment she wasn’t in his sight he thought the worse. He was willing to kill a man, not because he’d hurt her, but simply because the man could be privy to the most private parts of her body, her innermost workings.

Levi snapped a section of the stair banister he didn’t realize he’d been squeezing. He carefully moved the pieces back together, hoping no one would notice, before walking briskly to the room the meeting would be taking place.


	13. Chapter 13

Sloan accompanied Erwin back to the Imperial Capital to discuss the events of the Female Titan capture. She wasn’t happy about it but could hardly argue. It seemed that everyone except her was in agreement. Levi’s decision – she knew it was him, even though no one said it – had been handed down to her with the weight of a boulder, and when she begged Hange to change her mind, the woman looked everywhere except Sloan’s eyes.

She couldn’t say she was absolutely unhappy at the prospect of seeing Dot Pixis again, however. She and Erwin walked with him atop Wall Rose, surveying the damage from the prior days. Dot took a swig from a metal canteen at his side, making his aide cringe.

“Commander,” she started softly. “Remember the heat. I’m not sure it’s wise to be drinking liquor on such a hot day.” The girl pulled a bit at her own collar, the sweat trickling down her chest.

“Now, Jill,” he said, swallowing deeply. “I appreciate the concern. But remember, I’m always at my best when I’ve had a drink or two.” Sloan snatched the container from his hand as he went to take another drink.

“No,” she said sternly. “Not on top of the walls.”

“Sloan, I’ve managed to survive the last few months without your help. Now you come back and ruin the fun I’ve worked to maintain.”

“Commander Pixis, what are your plans for reconstruction?” Erwin asked, changing the subject.

Pixis sighed, sure he wasn’t going to win against Sloan. “Without knowing anymore about the Titan shifters, it’s hard to say. Of course, we’ll have to begin the rebuilding process, but this recent fiasco has exposed just how incompetent the Garrison and Military Police are in terms of direct Titan warfare. Who knows when the next shifter may show themselves and shake things up? At this point, I almost wonder if it’s not better to leave things this way until we find out more information.”

“That is an interesting idea.”

“It would serve as a reminder to the people,” Sloan said. “But what would it do for morale?”

“Currently, things are too busy to begin rebuild. With the breach at Wall Rose and the influx of people, there’s simply no space to start.”

Sloan nodded. They had received news just the prior evening of Titans spotted inside the Wall. The only explanation was a hole in Wall Rose somewhere. She looked down over the city, knowing Levi was somewhere far below with Pastor Nick, safe from the breach, but her heart ached for the 104th, who were out there somewhere with Mike and the other corps. The government had sent members of the Garrison and the Military Police to help search for the breach, but as Pixis said, they were grossly incompetent. Sal was not encouraged by their help.

Pixis squinted out over the wall.

“It looks like the advance party is back,” he said. “Should we go down and see what they have to report?”

They walked over to the inner edge and stepped onto the lift. Sal held on tightly to the railing as the lift swung in the air. It always made her uncomfortable, especially without her 3D gear. The rickety platform was the only thing that stood between her and a plummet to the ground. A cadet engaged the lift pulley and they began a descent.

The city was flooded with refugees who came in waves once word got out of the Titan sightings. They pushed their way through as politely as possible, making their way to where the Military Police had gathered. In the center were Levi, Pastor Nick, and a few other members of the survey corps, waiting for news.

“Commander Pixis!” the Garrison soldier leading the advance party dropped to his knees. “The party could find no holes in the wall anywhere.”

“Hmmm,” Pixis said. “Interesting.”

Sal looked across the gathering at Levi. He was watching the exchange with a bored look on his face. They hadn’t spoken since he barged into her room, insisting on a “bunk check,” but she wasn’t going to be the one to initiate anything. It would be like losing, and she hated losing.

“But we encountered another situation! It’s an emergency! We came upon a group of unarmed Survey Corps troops, led by squad leader Zoe Hange, and a number of the group – they turned into Titans, sir!”

“WHAT?!” said one of the survey corps standing near Levi. The soldier was obviously surprised. It was the same cadet that dressed as Eren on their last mission. _Jean_ , Sloan remembered as his name. “There were more of them?!” He seemed to be very betrayed by this knowledge. Levi looked to Sloan then, not the least bit startled by the information.

_So this is what was to be expected._ His look said.

“What happened?” Erwin said.

“The corps engaged them – it was the colossus Titan and the armored Titan. But many of them were unarmed, and by the time we joined in, the battle was over.”

“Was Eren Yaeger taken?”

“I believe so, sir. I’m unfamiliar with him, but that seemed to be the understanding.”

Erwin looked across the crowd at Levi and placed a large hand on Sloan’s shoulder.

“My Captains,” Erwin said, taking in their body language, from where Levi’s leg was stuck out in front of him, to where Sloan still absentmindedly clutched at her ribs. “I ask too much of you.”

* * *

By the time they’d gathered everyone together and readied their weapons and horses, Eren had been gone for hours. Hange briefed them on the situation. Apparently, two of the 104th corps had been the armored and colossus Titan in disguise. It seemed their mission had been to kidnap Eren. For what purpose, they had not discovered. Hange had been able to calculate how far they could have gotten by guesstimating how exhausted they would be. Eren had battled with both the Titans – the armored and the colossus – right below the wall, so she knew they could only go so far with their current energy. Their steaming carcasses were still dissipating as they sped by, their horses carrying them in tight formation to a forest of tall trees inside Wall Maria.

“DEPLOY THE FORMATION!” Erwin shouted, and the formation began to spread as they flew out of the gates. Sloan’s hand instinctively went to her flare gun, and she looked across the formation to Levi. They still hadn’t spoken, but at that moment he was staring holes into her, like he was trying with everything he had to memorize every feature of her face.

She tore her eyes from his stare and turned forward, urging Apple into a gallop to keep up with the spread of the formation. All the green capes flew out behind the troops, and Sal focused her attention on watching for flares to change course. She was concerned at the speed they were going. If a Titan was spotted, would they really have time to react? She kept her mind alert and sharp.

In no time at all they approached the forest that Hange had predicted the shifters would retreat to. As they began to close the formation, a lightning strike came down inside the cluster of trees.

“I saw a flash from inside!” someone yelled out.

“Assume it’s a Titan transformation!” Erwin ordered. “All troops deploy! FIND EREN AND RECOVER HIM!”

“We’re not here to engage the enemy!” Erwin’s orders continued. Sloan looked up in time to see a wall of Titans emerge from inside the forest. The sound of 3D gear deployment echoed throughout the formation as the soldiers took flight, out of the reach of the Titans. A Garrison soldier was too slow. Sloan watched helplessly as a Titan wrapped its sticky fingers around the man and bit him in two. “This is a rescue! Getting Eren back is our only objective!”

As they entered the forest, Sloan saw Levi fly past her on 3D gear. She opened her own as they sped through the treetops with the rest of the formation. The trees flew by in a blur as they hurried forward, watching closely for any sign of Eren or his kidnappers.

“What the hell?” Sloan heard herself saying as she looked ahead at a bizarre Titan. She stopped on a branch to assess the situation. The Titan was a small female with long, dark hair and jagged teeth. Dark, beady eyes glared out from behind its greasy hair, and it surveyed the troops from where it sat hanging from a tree by its claws.

“The fuck is that?” Levi said. “A tree climber?”

“I’ve never heard of one doing that before. Everyone get back!” Sloan yelled, but she saw a small survey member fly past, a tiny female, as if she knew the Titan. Before anyone could react, the Titan flew out from the tree, gobbling the girl up in one bite before turning and soaring through the trees at lightning speed.

Everyone was now staring in stunned silence.

Without a word, Levi shot forward, leading the charge and chasing after the small tree Titan.

Another lightning bolt struck through the forest, followed by a loud _BOOM!_ The ground quaked beneath them, causing the trees to quiver. As they came to the end of the forest, the armored Titan could be seen running across a clearing, the tree Titan attached to his back. They had been working together.

“THEY’RE GETTING AWAY WITH EREN!!” a voice bellowed from somewhere around them.

“We’ll follow them on horseback,” Levi called out. “That armored Titan isn’t very fast.”

The troops stopped on tree limbs to whistle for their horses. They all flew to the ground and mounted before taking off again. Sal was afraid to look behind her, afraid to see how many troops they’d lost already to Titans that may have been hiding in the forest. And that was the easy part, so far. No one expected the Garrison and Military Police escorts to do well, but it still hurt them to suffer any casualties.

Erwin appeared to the side, having circled around the forest, and began leading the pack.

“DO YOUR DUTY AS SOLDIERS! We must rescue Eren Yaeger at any cost!” He shouted back to his troops, trying to pump the morale.

They were steadily gaining on the armored Titan. The small Titan from the forest was perched on his shoulder, and faint outlines beside her looked to be Eren and possibly the other Titan shifter, the Colossal Titan, still in human form.

Sloan dug her heels into Apple, urging her to go faster, harder. They were right there! She couldn’t let them slip away. In one eye she saw Levi, and the other was Erwin, racing neck and neck with her.

As they drew closer, the Captains and Commander hung back, still leading the pack, but all calculating the best form of action. To the side, one of the Garrison officers broke formation, shooting his 3D gear into the armored Titan’s back. The small tree Titan taught the wire and twirled the soldier around, releasing him through the air. They watched as his body hit the ground with an empty thud and didn’t move.

“Do not engage!” Sal shouted, but not soon enough to keep Mikasa from making her own attempt. More members of the 104th engaged as well, landing on the armored Titan’s shoulders.

“What the hell is this?” Levi said. “Are all these little shits working together?” The group stood together on the armored Titan’s shoulder, as if in a meeting. Hands were moving quickly in emotional gestures. Maybe this would be best, maybe those of the 104th could speak to their fellow cadets, Sal hoped.

Everyone was so entranced by the exchange on the armored Titan that they didn’t notice Erwin had broken rank until they saw him running across the clearing and back toward the armored Titan, dozens of Titans following behind him at a run.

Sloan and Levi both slowed with realization as they saw the wall of Titans coming straight for them. Erwin’s intentions were to stop the armored Titan, and he would do that anyway possible. The Titans would attack the armored Titan, not recognizing him as their own, but it also put the soldiers in danger. Sloan saw a look of grim determination on his face as he closed in on them.

The troops standing on the armored Titan’s shoulder seemed to notice the wall of Titans coming straight for them and realized what Erwin was planning. They all jumped off together then, using their gear to escape as far away as they could.

“ALL UNITS DISPERSE! GET AWAY FROM THE TITANS!” Erwin shouted. Sal and Levi fell back with the rest of the troops, turning away from the carnage of Titan versus Titan. Once they were all back, they turned to look, awaiting orders and watching as the Titans tore into the armored Titan.

_Isn’t this defeating the purpose? How will Eren survive this?_ Sloan thought.

“ALL UNITS!” Erwin began again. “CHARGE! TAKE EREN BACK AND RETREAT IMMEDIATELY!” Erwin turned and ran back to the carnage. Now that the armored Titan was incapacitated by the other Titans, Sloan knew the intention was to rescue Eren from what remained of the wreckage.

“YAH!” Sloan yelled in Apple’s ear as she dug her heels in, kicking and urging her forward to the mass of Titans, faster than she’d ever ridden before.

“ADVANCE!” Erwin shouted, from his position leading the formation. As they raced forward, Sloan’s attention was diverted as she saw Erwin lifted from his horse. She looked in horror to see him dangling by his arm from a Titan’s mouth.

“COMMANDER!” she heard fly from her mouth.

“ADVANCE!” he yelled as he dangled high in the air. “HE’S RIGHT THERE! ADVANCE!”

But Sloan could not. She could not stand by and allow her Commander to be devoured in front of her eyes. She steered out of the formation, circling around to Erwin. She locked her 3D gear into the Titan’s eye and shot forward. She stopped on the Titan’s face and removed her blade. Erwin’s arm was a jagged mess where it was, still attached, but inside the jaws of a Titan. There was no recovering it. With a clean slice, she severed his arm from his body. He fell to the ground. Sloan flew behind the Titan, slicing through its neck before landing on the ground beside Erwin.

“Commander,” she said, falling to her knees in a puddle of his blood.

“Captain,” he said, his face pale already from the loss. “Leave me, please. Save Eren.”

“No, Levi will take care of him. You need help right now,” she used her knife to cut a strip of cloth from her cape. With shaking and bloody fingers she tied a tight tourniquet around his stump of an arm. “Besides, I’m much more dispensable than you are,” she said as a huge shadow appeared over her.

She turned slowly, knowing what she would see. Somewhere far off, she thought she heard someone screaming her name as the huge hand came down toward her. She couldn’t react in time as the fingers closed around her, pinning her arms down, her legs dangling. The Titan was gigantic, larger than Eren’s Titan or the female Titan. She could not even scream as the hand carried her to its mouth.

* * *

His heart beat with every gallop of hooves, faster than he thought possible. His chest was bursting, a white hot pain streaking straight through the core of him. And then the hand reached down and grabbed her. He was screaming, yelling, flying faster than ever toward her. He kept looking from side to side, looking for a tree, another Titan, _anything_ he could attach his gear to, but there was nothing. He dug his heels into his horse, kicking, urging, faster.

And then the hand was carrying her to its mouth. He had to get there in time. He could never live after watching what he knew was coming next. But he also knew he could never make it like this. The distance was too great.

It was the biggest Titan he’d ever seen outside of the colossus Titan. It didn’t look very special, but he could tell in the way it moved that it was definitely an abnormal. He couldn’t process the gravity of the situation. All he knew was he had seconds to go an impossible distance.

The Titan released her as it threw her carelessly inside its jaws, snapping his teeth shut and swallowing her in one large _gulp!_ before licking its lips.

“No, no,” he heard himself say as the Titan stood up, turned, and began running back, the opposite way of any other humans or troops, true to its abnormal nature.

“NO! NO! NO!” he was shouting, flying on his horse, but the Titan was steadily gaining distance and speed, running far faster than Levi’s horse on its long legs. His horse tripped on something and sent him flying. He hit the ground hard, flipping over himself several times before sliding to a stop. He stood and tried running, but his leg, injured before, was now completely fucked. He fell down onto his knees, staring after the Titan. He saw her horse chasing after the Titan, still loyal to her master, though the speed was no match.

“No,” he whispered. He fell forward onto his hands as the Titan disappeared, a speck on the horizon. He rolled onto his back and stared up into the sky.

_“What’s it like up there?” he asked her one night. She’d snuck down after her mother had fallen asleep. She did that a lot, anytime he asked her. He didn’t like seeing her down there. It was dangerous. But he was selfish, and he wanted – no, needed – to see her._

_They laid across some rubble, staring up through a hole in the cavern’s ceiling, a place where the stones Above had caved in, but it was so far out no one noticed. Water had dripped down, creating a small pool of glistening blue. Moss was growing too, the only green he’d ever seen down there. Through the ceiling they could see the stars together. It was probably the closest he’d ever get to being up there with her._

_It still stunk like shit, though. Sometimes a breeze would blow from Above and he could smell her sweetness instead._

_“It’s alright, I guess,” she said. “Nothing special.”_

_“You would feel differently if you knew you couldn’t go there.”_

_“I think it’s special down here.”_

_He gave a dry laugh. “Open your eyes, little girl.” She furrowed her brows in a cute way whenever he called her that. She guessed he especially liked that she was smaller than him, but he was only a year older. “This place is a shithole. There’s nothing special here.”_

_“But you’re here,” she said quietly, turning to look at him with wide eyes. He sat up beside her and gave her a quick, teenaged kiss that left her cheeks red. “I don’t want to go back to that world. It’s not special if you aren’t in it.”_

_“Levi…”_

“LEVI!” a quick slap across his face brought the sky back into focus. He rolled back over, vomiting onto the ground, partly from pain, partly from what had just played out in front of him. He prayed a Titan would scoop him up and bite him in two. He looked around for one nearby, but there was no such luck.

“LEVI!” Hange was yelling in his ear.

“Leave me,” he said as he wiped his mouth.

“No,” she said. “Call your horse. We’re retreating.”

“I said fucking leave me, Hange.”

“Get the fuck up now, Levi. Get up!” She shook his shoulder.

He did stand then, grabbing her collar and jerking her.

“Look me in the eyes, Hange. Do I look like I care?” He released her so quickly she stumbled backwards, afraid of whatever she saw in his face. He hobbled away from her, his leg nearly unusable.

“HERE I AM, YOU FUCKERS! PRIME CORPORAL MEAT! EASY MEAL! COME AND GET ME!” he slung off his gear, his blades. The metal clattered on the ground. “DEFENSELESS! NO FIGHT REQUIRED!”

“God DAMMIT!” he yelled. “What’s a man got to do to die around here?”

He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and turned. Mikasa was standing there.

The last thing he saw was her fist coming straight at him.


	14. Chapter 14

He laid very still for many hours. Maybe days. Weeks, months, who knew anymore? The light dimmed and brightened. People came and went, tried to force things in his mouth. Sometimes it was light and fluffy. _Bread,_ he remembered. It didn’t have a taste. Other times it was salty and chewy. _Meat._ Sometimes they would pour liquid in his mouth. He would cough and sputter. Most of it would end up on him, trickling down his chin onto the bed cloths. He didn’t move. He didn’t stir. He didn’t sleep or wake. He just was.

A woman came in. Not _she-who’s-name-I-can’t-say_. She had brown, stringy hair, and wore glasses on her head. Hange. She came and went. He couldn’t process her words.

A boy came next. He sat quietly in a chair by the bed, uncomfortable. A memory lingered in the back of his mind. He’d put his hands on the boy before. Not in anger, but for the boy’s own good. Was it for discipline?

“What’s happened to him?” the boy asked Hange one day within earshot. She answered in a whisper. Levi didn’t even try to make out the words.

The boy talked to him about some things he couldn’t think about. Something about getting beaten up, losing a tooth, being a part of his squad. He always looked up to him, he said. The light through the window got dark and the boy left after a while but came back each day at different times.

Hange brought something warm and dark. She stirred it around awkwardly, as if weighing how she was going to get it inside him. She used a spoon to transfer it into his mouth. It slid down his throat easily.

_Tea._

She came back each day as well, trying each time to force more things inside his mouth.

“Levi,” she would say softly. “You have to eat. Look at yourself. You’re skin and bones.”

It didn’t work.

He could only think of her. How he’d treated her. The things he’d said to her. _You’re the only mess around here, Sloan…_ one of the last things he’d said to her. How could he have been such a fool? He was a piece of shit. Why hadn’t he been kinder, softer, gentler? Could he have cultivated something with her? He yearned to join her in death, to make everything right with her. She haunted his dreams. He could almost smell her hair at times, crush it between his hands.

A face came to his mind then. A face framed by red curls. But the red was not the right color. It was far from the natural color _she_ had, the warm reds and coppers and browns mixed together. No, this was the fake red hair of a whore he’d found years before a few towns over. She had been a poor substitute for the real thing, but _she_ had been dead to him for years, lost to the underground when he’d made the decision not to return. It was strange how those memories would come into one’s head at the worst times. The whore’s face flashed in his mind again and bile rose up his throat. He was too slow and weak to make it over the edge of the bed in time. The tea and bread Hange had forced into him came up, ruining the sheets and leaving a sour residue over his chest and arms.

A different woman came in. She came periodically to wrap his ankle. She had brown hair and large brown eyes. Her face was soft and comforting, but sometimes her eyes cut a sharp way, like she was thinking very hard about something. She would roll him around in the bed like a sack of flour. She came a few times to bathe him and clean the sheets. He laid patiently, not helping her, not fighting her, not even covering himself from her as she pulled the linens away to replace them with clean ones. She sponged him off and cleaned him like he was just a baby.

The boy would come. _Eren._

“Captain, please. Snap out of it. We need you,” Eren said. “I believe in you.”

Levi blinked at the ceiling, unmoving until he left. He dozed and saw _her_ , could feel _her_ skin under his fingertips if he laid still enough. A soft brush of lips across his own greeted him when sleep came. The passage of time was marked by the window, and the light. He had no idea how long he’d been laying there, silently begging death to take him, but one day a tall, blonde man came in. His right arm was missing – a picture crossed Levi’s mind, one where the man still had the arm. It was a recent wound. Images cut through his chest like a knife. The man dangling from a Titan’s mouth, _her_ reacting, slicing through his arm to save him. A giant hand reaching down to snatch _her_ up, the distance too far for him to cover in enough time to stop it…

“Levi,” the warm voice rumbled through the room. Hange was standing behind him as he stood over the bed. “It’s time to get up.” _Erwin._ The voice stirred something within him, but he willed himself not to move, to remain completely motionless. The man’s voice commanded a part of him, urging him to act. “You’re not helping anyone by laying in here like this.” He threw the blanket off. Levi didn’t even move to cover his naked body. Hange gasped from behind Erwin, covering her mouth with a hand and closing her eyes against the look of his emaciated frame. She was stunned silent for once. Erwin began to move Levi’s skeletal legs to the side of the bed, touching his feet to the ground before pulling on his upper body with his one arm. “Hange, help me.”

Hange began to work, despite her shock over the wasted look of him. Between the two of them, they sat Levi on the side of the bed.

Hange braced him as Erwin sat in the chair across from him.

“What will it take to snap you out of this? It’s been weeks, Levi. We need you.”

His eyes stared back, a dull, empty grey.

“God dammit, Levi. Wake up!” he shouted. He slapped Levi across the face before pacing.

“What can I say? She’s dead, Levi. She’s fucking dead! Is that what you need to hear? But you’re not. This isn’t death. You’re still in the real world, believe it or not. You think you can just give up? We will come up here every day and drag your ass down the stairs if we must. We will not let you die this way, no matter how badly you try.”

He sighed and turned away. “The troops – they’re asking questions. I can’t answer them. They are looking for their Captain. They are in mourning as well, for her, and now you. You are still alive, but you may as well be dead for all you’re doing. They need your support, your guidance.” He turned his back, staring at a spot in the wall. He exhaled loudly.

“How much is enough?” a weak voice said. “When have I given enough of myself to just die in peace? I was born into shit, raised into hell, and here I am. I welcome the flames.”

Erwin turned back to him, startled he’d said anything.

“So, this is really you giving up? I never thought I would hear this from Captain Levi.”

“You don’t understand. Everything was fine until –“

“I know who she was,” he cut him off. “I remember. You tried so hard to keep me from taking her too, back then. Having her join the Regiment with you. You refused to tell me where she was because you were scared.” He was referencing the first time they’d met. Erwin had captured Levi in the Underground, then. He was just a thug, a criminal. But word of his prowess with the vertical maneuvering gear had caught the attention of the Survey Corps up Above. Erwin and some others had scouted out Levi, and a few of his friends. They’d managed to capture Levi and two others but wanted to know where the “smallest one – the red-haired girl” was. Levi had clamped his mouth shut, and the other two knew they would meet a fate worse than death if they said anything about where that other girl could be found. Erwin had eventually given up on getting information out of them when he realized Levi wouldn’t be giving anything up, and the others were too terrified of him to say any more.

“What was the point, Erwin? I keep trying to see the light in this, but I don’t understand. You knew I didn’t want her here back then; I was vocal about it recently when everything happened, but you still allowed it. Was it just a reminder of what I could never have? That my life is not for my own enjoyment, but only to serve the military? Cannon fodder. Is that all we are – what I am? A man that should stake no claims to anything tangible in this world?

“Back then, I would have killed without regrets for citizenship Above – to be with _her_. But I was not a man worthy of her. I know now. When you took me – us – away, I had a mission, then. You remember?”

Erwin nodded, a dark smirk on his face. “You were going to kill me.”

“And go back to her. But what did I have to offer? I was still a criminal. She didn’t know everything that went on, but in time she would have realized I could never be completely honest. She was a smart girl. She started to notice things, even back then. I put her in danger. Someone would come looking for me and find her instead. The easiest way to punish someone is to hurt the ones they love. Her death would be because of me, to torture me. Anyone could have anything of mine if they dangled her over me. All they had to do was say the word and I would run headfirst into anything that was asked if it meant protecting her.”

Levi swallowed hard and cleared his throat. It was already beginning to give out. Erwin extended a cup of tea toward him, urging him to take a sip and continue. Hange draped a blanket over his shoulders and he adjusted it to cover himself, suddenly aware he was naked in front of them.

“So, I decided it was best for me to stay away, leave her with a clean break. Maybe she would think I was killed somewhere. She would get over it, move on with some other man who had his shit together. Time would pass and she would forget about me.” He clenched his eyes against the images that had haunted him – her being killed after she’d gone looking for him. That fate hadn’t befallen her, after all. “I let her die within me after that. I shoved it, the thoughts of her, away somewhere. There’s no place for long-lost loves in the Corps. It took years, but time can cause even the strongest feelings to go dormant.

“There was quite the flood of them when I saw her again. I was furious that she was transferring here. After all that time, all those buried emotions, for her to sign up for this suicide mission. I knew she would die then.” He laughed dryly. “But true to her nature, she had already made her mind up, and it would not be changed.”

Erwin dropped to his knees in front of Levi. “She died saving me. Levi, I see her every night, and I know, when I signed for her transfer, I signed her death certificate. But I can’t give up. If I do, her death – their deaths – will be in vain. You think I don’t want to just lay somewhere, barely existing, just waiting for death to take me? Now is the time to act, Levi. Let her death be your strength. There’s another Sloan somewhere; someone else’s Sloan is out there. And she will die again if we don’t continue.”

Each time he heard her name it was a stab to the gut. Levi blinked at him. “I don’t know how to start.”

“Just fucking eat, Levi.” He pushed a bowl of steaming broth toward him. “Drink.” He motioned to tea at the bedside. “Live again.”

* * *

Cassandra Ainsworth was confused, as she’d been for the last two weeks. Since she’d been asked to relocate as a military medic from the Garrison to the Survey Corps, she’d spent most of her time just trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Was it a prerequisite for the Survey Corps that a person had to be a complete psycho? And she wasn’t only talking about that greasy haired weirdo with the goggles.

The youngest recruits were a hodge podge of bizarre characters. From a girl obsessed with potatoes, to Eren Yaeger, a rage filled boy supposedly the only hope for humanity in the fight against Titans, but Cassie couldn’t see how this boy, so full of self-hatred and wrath, could help anyone.

The leaders weren’t much better. As a medic in the Garrison, she’d heard about the leadership in the Regiment, even looked up to them for a time as the greatest soldiers of the military. She’d been sent to be not only a medic at the headquarters – it was decided after the latest expedition that medics were not fit to be on the battlefield anymore – but as an aide or assistant to Commander Erwin, the one-armed leader of the Regiment. He was a kind man, cunning and decisive, but virtually unusable in battle now. He seemed to be lost.

Levi – Captain of the Survey Corps and humanity’s strongest soldier. She’d never met the man before, so it was hard to compare who she was seeing to the man of legend. The first time she’d seen him, she gasped.

“Cassandra,” Commander Erwin had said to her one afternoon as she helped wrap his arm. She straightened at his authoritative tone. “I have a strange request to make of you.”

“Commander, I am here to serve and assist,” she said as she put the remainder of her wound care equipment away. She couldn’t imagine what he would consider a “strange request.”

“Captain Levi… he’s fallen ill. He hasn’t been able to tend to himself recently. No one here feels comfortable tending to him in such a way. I can’t ask the recruits or troops… It would not be right to let them see him in this state…”

“Are you telling me he needs to be bathed?” she asked. “That is not a strange request, Commander. As a medic, that is one of my duties, to help my fellow comrades when they are in need and cannot do for themselves.”

“I appreciate your attitude, Cassandra,” he said and placed a hand on her shoulder. Cassie tried not to look at the muscles in his chest and stomach and wished he would put his shirt back on. “I guess it seems to strange because… well, Levi has always been a very clean man. One could argue that he could be psychotic, even, with the cleanliness of himself and his surroundings. We are all very disturbed by his current state.”

“It will be no problem at all, Commander.”

The first time she’d bathed him, she’d tried to start small talk. It was very unsettling to work in the room with him just lying in the bed, eyes open but unseeing, staring straight up at the ceiling. She tried to tell him step by step what she was doing.

“Captain, I am going to remove these linens. Captain, this will be cold. I’m just scrubbing your hair. I’m going to wrap this ankle.” But after a while with no response, she gave up and just got on with everything. She knew he was a small man, but his skeletal frame was not expected. At 5’3”, he couldn’t have weighed more than 100 pounds. The bones of his face were jagged, creating hollow angles, only looking more solemn with the dark circles under his eyes.

First, she would remove the linens and scrub his front. He always laid quietly, even when she sometimes scrubbed a little too aggressively. She was gentle with his ankle, but he never seemed to have any pain associated with it, or if he did, he never showed it. She would quickly wash him, noticing how boney his hips, elbows, and knees were. He didn’t make a sound as she easily turned him onto his side to wash his back and remove the old bottom sheet. She found a reddened area on his bottom, where it looked like he’d been laying in one place too long and applied some salve to the area. She flopped him this way and that in the bed as she fluffed him up and pulled the clean sheets tight and warm around him.

She didn’t ask, but Erwin had mentioned before, saying he’d lost someone he loved dearly. A woman, she guessed.

She couldn’t imagine a happy man, a loving man, contrasted with the image before her. His reputation preceded him, even before she’d been sent to help. He was cold, closed off, and downright rude at times, she’d heard. He was callous, dangerous, and deadly. She wondered what kind of a woman would love a man like that.

* * *

_Tears were streaming down her face as she rode her horse as quickly and quietly as she could through the night. She hated the position she was in, that she had now brought other humans into, but what could she do? The cold air sent the tears flying back into her hair and she tried her best to brush them away, to keep her vision clear._

_Her father was dead. Her mother died not long after him. Levi had been missing for months. Either he was dead or had decided he didn’t want to see her anymore. A cry escaped her at that thought. Of either option, the one that hurt most was that he had voluntarily made the decision to never see her again. She’d thought they had something special, but, then again, he was the only boy she’d ever been involved with. Maybe she was just young and stupid. He’d gotten what he wanted and was done with her. Just like Daddy had warned her._

_And now, what a mess she was in! For months she’d been searching for him, even asking around the Underground if anyone had seen him. It was like he’d disappeared into thin air. She should have spoken with him sooner, but she was a coward, scared of what would happen if she said anything. It couldn’t be any worse than this. She adjusted her cloak and looked down at her chest._

_Two babies snuggled close to her, cuddled up in each other’s arms. Despite the cold and uncomfortable journey, they didn’t stir or cry. A sweet baby boy and a sweet baby girl. It was impossible to tell who they looked more like – they were only a few weeks old – but both of their soft heads were already covered with thick, dark hair. They were still too young, but Sloan swore she’d seen the baby girl smiling at her. It looked like her eyes would be blue or green. The baby boy was more stoic. He always seemed to be deep in thought, his little brows furrowed together, though she couldn’t really understand what a baby would be thinking so seriously about._

_She’d delivered at an infirmary, alone. No family, no friends – they had all abandoned her after the pregnancy started showing. It had been an emotional delivery, but she’d survived and been handed two bundles. She tried her best to make it work at home, alone, but she was only 16. She had a small pension that was left from her parents, but it was hardly enough to support her alone, much less two new babes. She had few options._

_She’d asked around and found two separate couples who would be interested in taking them. It had not been an easy decision, but it was the only one she could come to._

_They would have good lives, comfortable lives. She could live peacefully with her decision. The families she had picked out would love having a child. Her babies would grow up with a mother and a father and never want for anything._

_And then she would join the military. All of the decisions would be out of her hands at that point. A soldier for the people – her life would belong to them, to a higher purpose._

_As she looked back down at them, suddenly something shivered. Her babies began to grow bigger and bigger. The horse they were riding on was flattened as they grew larger and larger. Sloan squealed and rolled away from them as they sat up. They were each at least 10 meters tall – Titan babies. They cried and screamed. She stood up and walked to them, wanting to comfort them._

_Her boy grasped her between his sticky fingers and brought her up to eye level. She struggled to get away from him as he wailed. Then the girl grabbed at her arms, pulling her in two ways. They played tug of war with her until finally the boy won. Sloan was so tired. She couldn’t fight anymore, even as he opened his mouth wide and revealed rows of sharpened teeth, dripping with drool. He brought his hand to his mouth, and Sloan felt a gust of warm breath as his jaws began to close._


	15. Chapter 15

Sasha Blouse’s eyes flew open, and she shook her head against the images. She knew she wasn’t alone, but that was little comfort compared to the disturbing Titan images she saw when she dreamt. Bodies mangled, comrades screaming, blood stains against the Wings of Freedom they wore… But sometimes the images of the living were worse, she thought. Captain Levi was always portrayed as humanity’s strongest soldier, one of the leaders of the Survey Corps, but after Captain Sloan’s loss, he had withered away into a shell of a man – a corpse form of what he used to be. She imaged something was conspiring between them when she stumbled upon them that night in the kitchen; she swore as she tumbled out of the pantry that she’d interrupted something intimate, – an almost-kiss, maybe? – but his reaction to her loss was so extreme, she had to imagine there was more than simple flirting going on.

She rolled out of her bunk and removed her sleeping gown, pulling on her pants and button up shirt to get ready for one of her favorite times – breakfast. And then, after that, she and Mikasa would be going on a special mission for Squad Leader Hange. It seemed that while Erwin was tending to his arm and Levi was otherwise indisposed of, Hange had taken over leadership tasks. One of her first requests was that Sasha and Mikasa go out on a mission to hunt a boar. Leader Hange was apparently in great need of the meat, and Sasha suspected it had to do with another of Hange’s freaky Titan experiments. She didn’t mind the task, though. Any excuse to go out and hunt was a good excuse for Sasha, and with Mikasa at her side they were safe enough, even if Titans were inside Wall Maria now.

Sasha stood and looked at the top bunk. Mikasa lay on her back, her hands laced over her stomach, eyes open and piercing, staring at the ceiling.

“Awake, Mikasa?” Sasha asked with a smile. “Excited for breakfast?”

“Excited to get out of the compound,” she said dryly. For the last few weeks they had been confined. After the last Titan battle, with the high casualties, and the high leadership taking it easy for a time, the troops had been going stir-crazy without any missions to occupy their minds. They weren’t out dying at the moment, Sasha had thought before, but surely someone had died of boredom at one time or another.

Sasha pulled her hair into a ponytail, brushing out all the lumps as Mikasa hopped down and began putting on her clothes as well. She wrapped her red scarf around her collar, breathing in the smell of the familiar fabric, as they began to walk to the dining hall.

Sasha felt like she was in line forever before her bowl was filled with the porridge and a slice of bread was placed on top. She quickly walked to the table she shared with the other recruits and started shoveling her food.

“Hey!” Eren yelled as soon as she sat. “How come you two get to go out and we’re stuck back here at headquarters?”

“Speshulmisshun,” Sasha managed to get out between bites, her cheeks filled with porridge.

“So you two get to go and have fun while the rest of us are still cooped up? I don’t see how that’s fair. I’m losing my skills in here! I haven’t even seen a Titan in weeks!” Eren twirled his butter knife around before snatching up Jean’s. He began to spin them both in the air between his fingers. “How are we supposed to stay in tip-top Regiment shape if we just sit in here?”

“You can always go to the training grounds,” Connie offered. “I’ve heard the Commander and Captain are in no shape to go on any missions right now. We are waiting for them to improve, or another leader to step up. From what I’ve heard, Erwin may be out for a while. He lost his arm in that last battle. Captain Sloan is officially declared as dead. No one has seen Captain Levi in a while.”

“Except you, right, Eren?” Jean asked. None of the other cadets felt comfortable going to visit him, but it was understood he had been recovering for the last two weeks in the hospital wing.

Eren shook his head. “I have seen him, but there’s not much to report. I don’t understand what’s wrong with him. Leader Hange said he wasn’t injured, but he looks dead. Refuses to eat, or drink, or speak.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Krista spoke up from a few seats down. “He was in love with Captain Sloan. She’s dead and he can’t cope. That’s why we haven’t seen him; he’s in mourning.”

Everyone just looked down at their bowls, wondering how the topic had shifted from Sasha and Mikasa’s expedition to Captain Levi’s depressing love life.

“So, Eren, you want to go to the training grounds later while they’re out on their ‘special mission’?” Connie asked, a level of sarcasm to his voice.

“I guess,” Eren said grouchily as he pushed around his breakfast.

“Are you going to eat that?” Sasha asked, eyeing his bowl.

“Er, I guess not. I’ve kind of lost my appetite.”

At that moment, the door to the dining hall opened and slammed loudly. Everyone turned to look at a slightly embarrassed young woman. She appeared to be new and wasn’t expecting the door to slam so loudly behind her. She hurried to the line to get her breakfast, eagerly attempting to get away from the door that everyone was staring at.

“Who’s that?” Connie asked.

“I think she’s a new medic from the Garrison,” Eren said as he watched her cross the back of the room.

“So she’s the one who’s been tending to the Commander and Captain?” Jean asked.

“I think so,” Eren said, still staring as Sasha used the opportunity to slide his bowl away from him.

“Wow.”

“I second that, Connie,” Jean said. “I would sure like for her to tend to me.” The males continued to take in her figure. She was not large by any means, but had a full bust and hips that formed a nearly perfect hourglass shape. The buttons on her blouse seemed to strain against the added inches and she adjusted her top self-consciously while she waited in line, unaware of the attention on her. Her soft brown hair hung just below her shoulders, and her soft face was kind, and caring, though her brown eyes cut across the room, surveying it quickly with intelligence.

“I wonder what I could do to just be a little injured,” Connie said. “Not enough to be seriously hurt, just enough to need some nursing.”

They were interrupted by a loud bang on the table. They all turned to the end of the table to see Hange standing, her hands splayed flat on the surface.

“Mikasa, Sasha, are you two ready for the most important mission you’ve ever undertaken within the Survey Corps?”

“Erm…” Sasha said through her food. Mikasa sat motionless and quiet.

“Well, maybe not to everyone else, but it’s important to me, and Titan research, and thus, to humanity! Nothing is more important!” She said as she tossed her hands in the air. “Some may disagree, but with all the other…” she looked around as if searching for the right word, “…happenings about the Survey Corps, Titan research is more important than ever! Now, come along!” She took the breakfast bowls from Sasha and Mikasa.

“But Squad Leader!” Sasha protested as the bowls were pressed into the hands of another soldier. She watched as her precious breakfast was carried off to the kitchens were the bowls would be dumped and cleaned.

“Now, now, that’s more than enough breakfast. If you’re still hungry, let that be your motivation to finish the mission and report back quickly. If you catch a large enough boar, we’ll cook up the extra for you.”

Sasha was out at the stables saddling her horse so fast she left dust clouds in her wake. She tossed her bow and quiver over her shoulder and mounted the horse, beginning to trot in circles as Mikasa saddled her own horse. She checked her own gear, the 3D equipment canisters filled with gas and her blades sharpened. She swung her leg over her horse and they rode out of the headquarter gates. They turned to the west and began riding, the sun to their backs, heading for the gate out of Wall Rose and into the territory formerly protected by Wall Maria. Titans had been sighted within the Wall, but most of the human population had already relocated inside Wall Rose, leaving the area nearly deserted. The territory was formerly farmland and poorer towns but was practically empty now.

They passed through the gates of Wall Rose within an hour’s time. The open landscape was welcoming, and the feeling of freedom, of just the two of them riding with no real worries was liberating. They were technically in Titan country, but with the land flat for miles around, it was easy to survey the land and watch for a threat. And with only the two of them and not a huge party, it would be easy to change direction if a Titan was spotted.

They turned to the west again and rode on. Sasha was familiar with the area; her family had been hunters and she had travelled with her father before the Wall fell. The forest they always hunted in was a good way off, but always had the largest boars. Sasha’s mouth was watering already, just thinking of the salty meat.

“How much farther?” Mikasa said quietly through her scarf. They had been riding for hours in silence. Mikasa could feel the tension in her horse as well as in her own shoulders. The journey so far had been quiet, with not a single Titan spotting. She was thankful for that, but didn’t want to press their luck any more than necessary.

“We’re about halfway there,” Sasha said, as if in a daze.

“ _Halfway?!_ ” Mikasa hissed. “We’ve been riding for at least 4 hours, Sasha. What were you thinking taking us this far out for a hunt? The horses will be too tired to return if we continue on like this for another 4 hours.”

“Oh, it’s been 4 hours?” Sasha said, shaking the visions of meats from her mind. “Not too much longer, then, I suppose. But what’s that up ahead?”

Mikasa surveyed the land in front of them. There were still no Titans, but she saw a pile of metal and the distinct khaki color of a military jacket. They approached the items as if they were bombs and circled around them slowly before Mikasa dismounted. She knelt beside them.

“It’s 3D gear,” she said. She tentatively touched the cool metal. The equipment had lost its sheen, as if it were covered in a layer of film. Rust was beginning to appear at the corners. She unattached the canisters and gave them a shake. “Empty.”

“How long do you think it’s been here?”

“A week, at least,” she said. Sasha gave an involuntary shudder as she touched the jacket, her hand caressing the Wings of Freedom emblem attached at the shoulder. A soldier alone and without their gear in this area would not survive long.

“Why does the metal look like that? And this jacket is stiff and kind of crusty.”

“Must have been vomited up by a Titan.” Sasha snatched her hand back.

“Could it be Captain Sloan’s?”

“Maybe,” Mikasa said as she picked up the gear and jacket and attached it to the back of her horse’s saddle. “Are those the blades over there?” She pointed at two dull metal pieces a few yards away.

“Yea.” Sasha bent to pick them up. “It’s the pieces, at least. They’re broken.” She carried them over to Mikasa.

“If we needed any more confirmation…”

“Let’s take them back to headquarters and run the numbers to see who they were assigned to,” Mikasa cut the girl off. She turned back to her horse to place the pieces of the blades as best as she could inside the equipment. She looked at the horizon and something caught her eye. “Sasha, do you see that?”

“Hmm?” she looked ahead at where Mikasa was looking. A large cloud of smoke was drifting through the sky. “That’s the direction the forest is in. Let’s go look. There are no towns nearby, so I’m not sure what it could be.”

They jumped on their horses and rode quickly, caution nearly abandoned. As they got closer, Sasha gasped.

“I can see it even from here, Mikasa. The forest is burned.”

“Burned?”

“The forest used to be so thick, and green, I could see it from miles off when I would come with my father. Even from here it looks burnt, and thin, like all the green is gone. I can see the ash from here.”

As if on cue, the wind kicked up and ash floated through the air past them, carrying the scent of fire and smoke with it. They reached the edge of the forest and dismounted again.

“How could this have happened?” Mikasa asked. “How does a whole forest burn to the ground way out here?”

All the green was gone from the trees as far as they could see. The wide tree trunks were charred and blackened all the way up. Limbs had been burned away, leaving the trunks as bare stalks. The ground was covered in layers of ash.

“This has been going like this for a few days,” Sasha said as she touched a coal gently. “There’s still a few embers burning, setting off the smoke. In an area this huge it could smolder for weeks longer, but it’s too cool for it to be too recent. A couple days, at least, maybe longer.”

“This was the forest you were planning to hunt in?”

Sasha nodded her head, her back to Mikasa as she surveyed the damage.

“We should head back and report to Hange. I don’t think there’s any point in running the horses through there. Anything that was living in there has either run off or burned to death. There’s nothing left for us to do here and it’s too late to search for a new place to hunt. We’ll have to find a boar some other time.”

Mikasa turned to walk to her horse but was stopped when she heard a sniffle behind her. She turned to see Sasha’s shoulders quivering, as if crying. Mikasa stood still. She wasn’t sure how to handle people crying, but felt she should comfort her friend somehow.

“Sasha, you told me you and your dad used to hunt here? It will grow back.”

“It’s not that!” she wailed before sinking to the ground. “All those boar! Do you know how much MEAT that would have been?! I’m so hungry just thinking of it!”

“The…meat…hungry…” Mikasa felt her eyelid twitch as she heard a smacking sound. She looked over and saw Sasha taking huge bites of a potato.

A _SLAP_ rang out through the burned forest.

* * *

Mikasa and Sasha sat at the table with the ragtag team. Erwin still sat at one end, his right arm missing, but bandaged cleanly. He looked to be doing well, but his personal medic, Cassandra, sat beside him to help with anything he may need an extra hand on. Levi sat at the other end. Mikasa tried not to stare at him, but she couldn’t seem to help looking at him from behind her hair.

The last time she’d seen him was the day that Captain Sloan was eaten, and he had lost it. Usually so cold and composed, it was shocking to see how he’d reacted when he saw her eaten. He was screaming, shouting, cursing, and being generally belligerent. He’d nearly attacked Squad Leader Hange when she tried to help him. Mikasa could watch that; the leaders could work that out themselves, but all she could imagine was how many Titans he was attracting – how many it seemed he was _trying_ to attract. He’d openly shouted his wishes to be Titan chow. She couldn’t let him put Eren and everyone else in danger, and she knew he wouldn’t want that either if he were in his right mind. Which is why she had to put an end to it. She’d never punched a man like that before. She put her whole weight behind it, knowing she only had one shot. If she missed, or didn’t hit hard enough, she didn’t know what he would do. Enraged, strong, and delirious – she knew the combination would not be in her favor. She hadn’t seen him since then.

He stared at the gear in the center of the table, his eyes glazed over. His face was skeletal, the dim light from the candles making him look like a sinister creature, but his eyes were tired and dull, as if he had no more fight in him. He’d lost at least 40 pounds in the last weeks, she guessed.

She figured he wasn’t really worried about her hitting him.

“I ran the numbers,” Hange said as she walked back into the room. “It’s Sloan’s gear. The film on the equipment is consistent with what we’ve seen of the Titan gastric fluid. My guess is this is what the Titan was not able to fully digest.”

“I’m very sorry, Levi,” Erwin said. “You don’t have to stay any longer. I hope this is able to give some closure.”

He continued to stare blankly ahead. It seemed like ages before he stood, and Mikasa saw he was using a cane, his ankle flaring up again, probably from the extreme starvation and muscle deconditioning he seemed to be putting his body through.

He turned and began to walk toward the door like a man twice his age.

“Levi,” Hange said softly and approached him. She held out Sloan’s jacket. “You may want to keep this.”

Mikasa half expected him to recoil from it. He was always so clean, she imagined a jacket covered in dried Titan vomit was one of the last things he would touch. But he finally extended a shaky hand and took the jacket, crushing it to his chest as he hobbled back through the door and out into the dark halfway.

They sat in silence for a time before a loud _BANG_ came from the end of the table. Everyone looked quickly at Erwin. His expression was one of anger and torment, so different from his normal stoic mask. His fist sat curled on the table.

“Well, I guess it is official, Hange,” he said. “Write to Zackly and tell him I’ve lost both my Captains.”

“Commander, please,” Hange said earnestly. Mikasa and Sasha sat quietly listening to the exchange. It was strange to hear Hange plead over something that was not Titan related. “He needs more time. A transfer will not change anything.”

“This was the last effort. There was a shred of hope – if that hadn’t been Sloan’s, if nothing ever showed up, maybe she could have escaped by some miraculous stretch of luck. That’s the nail in the coffin.”

“I can’t believe you would give up on him. After all this time… I was here when he came and I remember – “

“His failures are my failures!” Erwin shouted, raising to his feet. He pointed his finger down the table at Hange. “Don’t remind me of when he came here, how he got here. I have relived this a thousand ways over these last few weeks. I’ve had nothing but time to think of all the ways I’ve fucked up his life. This is all on me, but not anymore. It stops today. He’s leaving here. This will be the last thing that I do that influences his life.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Hange said, her eyes brimming with tears. “If you think your influence will end when he is out of your sight – “

“Not my responsibility anymore.”

“Listen to yourself, Erwin.”

“Commander,” Cassie said and placed a small hand on his shoulder, on the dressing. He turned to her and his gaze seemed to soften. He let his head drop before letting out a sigh and sitting back down.

“How would his life have been different if I hadn’t dragged him here?”

“Commander, is this appropriate to speak of in front of these young soldiers?”

“It changes nothing. Levi is no longer with us. He died with Sloan Emery. Maybe they should see a peek inside Captain’s life – to understand him. Should he leave with everyone believing him to be a cold, heartless ass?”

“I think he would have enjoyed that, yes.”

“Do you think they would have been married? Lived in the Underground?” Mikasa’s eyes widened as she listened to the Commander shedding some light onto Captain Levi. “Would she have joined in his _business_?” The last word was said as if it held some double meaning.

Hange cocked an eyebrow. “Marriage, no… I doubt that. I remember how he was even when he came here. He was worse, then, I think. The Corps may have softened him up a bit. But I guess Sloan could have convinced him, perhaps.” She thought for a minute. “Maybe he would have opened a tea shop.”

Erwin laughed at that. “I’m not sure tea would be a big seller in the Underground.”

“Maybe he would have died anyway, sooner.”

“Maybe. But would he have been happier?”

“Happiness is irrelevant. There is no happiness in this world, except what we create for ourselves. Sloan could have died sooner. It would have been just as devastating, maybe even more.”

“Maybe. But he would have been able to extract revenge more easily. That would have been a comfort to him.”

“What’s the point of this, Erwin? I’m getting tired of playing ‘what-ifs’ with Levi’s life.”

“My biggest regret,” his voice cracked as he looked at the table. His shaking left hand reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a crumpled envelope, one that had obviously been opened and closed many times. “Would they have had children?”

Hange felt the blood leave her face. She wasn’t sure where he was going with this. She looked at Mikasa and Sasha; both of them had their hands folded in their laps, their heads down, their necks reddened as if they were seeing their Captain stripped naked in front of them.

“I’m very uncomfortable with this conversation, Erwin.”

He slid the envelope across the table at her. She picked it up clumsily, her fingers not wanting to work as she lifted the fold and removed a piece of paper. It was obviously old, yellowed and softened by time and many fingers touching it. As she read the feminine script, she had a vision of Sloan holding the paper, rereading it over and over before clutching it gingerly to her chest. The image came from nowhere and shot through her chest like a fire arrow.

“What the hell is this?” she said as she reread the paper. It had only two names written.

_Jonathan Levi Ackerman_

_Katelynn Jane Ackerman_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay... I thought with everything going on with the pandemic I would be able to update more frequently, but it's actually been a stifling time for me. Besides that, I also work full time, go to graduate school, and I am expecting my first child, so no guarantees on when the updates will be. I do apologize. This is still something I would like to complete, God willing.

Cassie grabbed her bag and began to walk to the Commander’s office. In her bag she had gauze, ointments, tapes, needle, and thread – everything she would need to perform his dressing change. As she walked up the stairs, she was already feeling nervous and didn’t understand why. She’d tended to hundreds of soldiers before, but there was something about the Commander that set her on edge. He was a compassionate man, and gentle, despite his intimidating size. Most of the time she unwrapped and rewrapped his arm, he was reading over papers, hardly even looking at her. Their exchanges were cordial, but superficial. At times he would talk about something general going on within the military, as if talking out loud might help him come to a decision.

She knocked lightly on the door before entering. He looked over his readers at her, laying down a stack of papers he was looking over.

“Is it that time already?”

“Yes, Commander,” she responded as she closed the door behind her. He stood and removed his bolo tie before unbuttoning his shirt, doing very well for a man with only one arm. Cassandra diverted her eyes, instead trying to organize all the supplies she would need at his desk. She would sneak peeks at his chiseled muscles but was always careful not to be caught. He was a handsome man, she thought. Tall and built well from years in the military, with his sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. He was always kind and professional, and cared deeply not only for his soldiers, but also for the people of the towns. He carried a lot of profound personal responsibility for their safety.

He sat down and went back to reading as she pulled out a pair of scissors and began cutting away the old dressing. The wound was healing nicely. In a few days she would snip off the sutures she’d placed to give some form to the stub. She cleaned it with some solution before applying a salve to help with the wound healing.

It was always difficult to wrap his shoulder. Sometimes the dressing would fall off from not being anchored to anything. She found that by going around his neck, it would hold the dressing better. As she reached her arms around his neck to pass the dressing, he lowered one letter, placing it into one pile before picking up another letter.

He sighed loudly.

“The Survey Corps is done with,” he said before giving a dry laugh. “There. I said it.”

Cassandra twisted her mouth around. “Why do you think that?” she asked carefully. She could tell he was a man at the end of his rope. The Corps had sustained massive casualties in the few months prior, with very few trainees volunteering to join the cause. Sloan Emery – while Cassandra had never met her – had apparently been a severe loss. She’d began in the Military police, before transferring to a long career in the Garrison before moving again recently to the Regiment. Dot Pixis had issued his own statement, calling for a time of mourning throughout the branches of the Military. Captain Sloan hadn’t been in the Regiment long, but Cassandra could tell everyone had formed quick attachments. She still hadn’t discovered the Levi/Sloan relationship, but she was too scared to ask.

“We haven’t had this few soldiers since I began twenty years ago. Mike is dead; Ness and the Special Ops Squad. I imagine Levi would have broken then if Sloan weren’t here. His squad was decimated. Now her… And he’s useless at this point. Does everyone think we don’t hear what the people say about him? ‘Humanity’s strongest soldier.’ Even if he were physically able, I don’t know if I could trust him in the field again after the way he broke down. He endangered himself and the others. I can’t risk that again.”

“What will you do?” She cut the dressing and began to tape it.

“I’m forcing his transfer. He’ll transfer to a position within the Garrison. Pixis will help orient him at their headquarters inside Hermina. This will keep everyone safe. If you are finished with the dressing, please bring me Captain Levi.”

“Yes, Commander,” she said, keeping her head down as he began to pull his shirt on, his back to her. She chanced a look at the muscles in his back before exiting the room.

She found him in a room upstairs. It wasn’t his room – even if she hadn’t tended to him in his room before, she would have known because it was so unkempt, and he was known to be a notorious neat freak. There were socks on the floor, the bed was unmade, and she could see a pile of clothing peeking out from underneath the bed. An ivory brush on the vanity had red strands of hair hanging from the bristles. Levi stood beside the vanity, one hand braced against it, his head down, twisting a blue ribbon between his fingers.

“Captain Levi,” she said softly, as if he were a cornered animal and would be easily startled. He straightened slowly, not even seeming to be ashamed that he’d been caught in another officer’s room. He looked over his shoulder at her, ribbon still in his hand.

“The Commander would like to see you,” she said. He turned and walked toward the door without a sound, still carrying the ribbon. Cassie stepped out of the way of the door to let him through, careful not to touch him, should whatever strange affliction he possessed be transmitted through her. He walked slowly down the hall. Cassie followed behind him quietly, halfway because she was worried he couldn’t make the short journey, halfway because she wanted to be present for the meeting that was about to take place.

She followed him into Erwin’s office and closed the door quietly behind him.

Erwin nodded to Cassie, to acknowledge her presence. She stood by the door, waiting and watching.

“How are you feeling today, Levi?” Erwin asked him gently, a soft smile on his face.

“Just swell,” he responded, his voice bored and easy, but at the same time gravelly, as if it hadn’t been used much.

“Would you like to sit down, have some tea?”

“No, Erwin. Your aide said you wanted to see me. I assumed it was for something more than idle chitchat?” Cassie bristled a bit at being called an aide. She was a medic, for goodness sake! Just because she did odds and ends jobs for Erwin and felt like a glorified gopher at times… Still!

Erwin nodded at the man. “I have spoken with Dot Pixis and we both agree the best course at the moment is for you to make a transfer into the Garrison. You will meet up with Pixis in Hermina, and he will help orient you to your new role.”

“Which will be…?” Levi asked, cautiously.

“As Captain, you will be the new central head of defense.”

“I’ve never pictured myself as a ‘defensive’ person.”

“Levi,” Erwin said, his voice hard and stern, leaving no room for argument or discussion. “The truth is you are not physically capable of what the Regiment needs at this point in time. After the way you lost it on the last expedition, I can’t trust you on the field. You put yourself in danger, and you put others in danger. For God’s sake, one of the trainees had to detain you. There really is no other option at this point.”

Levi’s face changed. His eyes darkened and he tilted his head down. A spark of irritation appeared, and Cassandra imagined that was the first sign of his old self she’d seen. She almost thought he was about to argue with the Commander, but then he gave his head a slight shake and his expression changed back to the blank slate, placid.

“Fine, Erwin,” he said before turning to walk out of the room. “Whatever you think is best for the Regiment. I assume you’ve already arranged for my transportation?”

“Pixis is sending some of his best officers to escort you.”

“And they will be arriving soon?”

Erwin gave a sheepish look, one that only Cassandra saw. She realized he’d already made plans, possibly had spoken with Hange about it.

“I take it your silence is a yes. I’ll begin packing my things.” With that, he left.

Erwin let out a breath Cassie didn’t realize he’d been holding. She approached his desk to begin putting away the dressing supplies. As she reached out to grab the gauze, he gently took her wrist.

“Am I making the right decision?” At that moment, she saw him as a different man. One who was vulnerable, one who made decisions not on what he necessarily wanted, but what needed to be done, even if he didn’t want it.

“You are doing what you think is most right,” Cassandra said, frozen as she realized it was the first time _he’d_ touched _her_. She could feel the hardness of his hand, worn from years in combat.

He gave a nod before removing his hand. Her wrist tingled where his hand had been.

“But do you think you should have told him about…” _his children_ , she didn’t finish.

He shook his head. “Now is not a good time for him. Maybe Pixis will tell him in Hermina. It will not be a decision of mine.”

* * *

Levi tucked his last folded shirt into the trunk. He paused as he held his green cape, thinking how strange it was that he was trading the wings of freedom for the roses of the Garrison. How not too long ago _she’d_ done the opposite. He laid the cape across the top before picking up the ivory brush. He felt the coolness against his skin and watched the red strands catch the light. He placed it gently on top of the cape before closing the top. He sat in the straight back chair in his room.

He’d spent many sleepless nights sitting in that chair, thinking, and seeing the faces of the comrades he’d failed, thinking of the Regiment’s next move, remembering his childhood and the struggles of the Underground. Thinking of Sloan after she’d reappeared. Remembering her even before she’d resurfaced. He should have been happy with the time he’d had with her. He’d touched her again, reaffirmed that she was real, that she did have strong affections for him at one time. Confirmed he was a man that was capable of love – and of being loved. He’d forgotten what it meant to love in a context outside of the Captain – Comrade – Commander relationship.

He should have been happy but the time was just a tease. A regret, he’d wasted most of their time together, squandered it by thinking himself noble for trying to chase her off, when he should have run headlong into absolution and taken her the moment he saw her. Even before she came to the Survey Corps, he’d seen her outside Eren’s Tribunal. He could have acted then. Gods knew, he’d recognized her. She looked almost exactly the same as when she was a teenager. Maybe even better, more matured and confident. And she’d recognized him that day too. He saw it when they made eye contact. She may have even been spying on him then, sneaking around behind the pillars at the courthouse.

His lips twitched at the thought of her that day. She thought she was being stealthy. He’d never even mentioned it to her.

He should have grabbed her hand and pulled her behind the courthouse, pushed her face into the wall and taught her a thing or two about how to keep quiet and unseen.

He stood abruptly and picked up his trunk. It was disrespectful to think of a dead woman like that, and pointless. There was no future for the dead. Besides, he could hear the carriage out front getting ready to ride out.

He carried his trunk out as best as he could. His weight was starting to come back as he was being force fed more and more each day, but he could still feel that he wasn’t the way he was before – probably would never be.

The trunk was hoisted into the back of the carriage and Levi felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

“Levi,” Erwin said. “We’ll be checking in in a few weeks to see how you’re doing.”

Levi could do nothing but nod at the man. He had nothing left to say. This man – who, many years ago, had forced him into the Survey Corps, pulling him away from Sloan – was now pushing him out. He’d begrudgingly joined, formed a family and close ties, and was now being forced out of the only family – and friends – he had. No, he had no words for Erwin Smith.

Levi turned to climb into the carriage. He didn’t want a big scene, but more and more of the scouts were coming out into the courtyard.

“Levi!” He heard Hange call as the door to the headquarters slammed shut behind her. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, hugging him so hard she squeezed the breath out of him. “I’m going to miss you so much!”

“Calm down, four eyes,” he said, pushing her away and straightening his crisp white shirt. “I’m sure you’ll be coming with Erwin for my ‘ _checkup’_ in a few weeks.”

“You better believe it,” Hange said before taking a step back. Levi turned back to the carriage and climbed up the steps. As he went to pull the door closed before anyone else could touch him, he heard a voice.

“Captain,” Eren said and approached the carriage. “I… Um… I’m not sure what to say.”

“There’s nothing _to_ say,” Levi said, wishing everyone would stop being so damn dramatic.

“But you’re leaving now, and there’s still so much to learn, and who will lead us? Who will be here with us?”

“Eren, I was never meant to be a leader. That’s not what I came here to do. What lead you was your fear of me. From the day at the Tribunal, you were afraid. That’s who your leader is; fear.”

“No, even before that,” Eren said, shaking his head. “I saw the Survey Corps returning when I was really young, like 9 or 10, and I saw you. Even then I knew, that’s Captain Levi, the strongest soldier. I want to be like him. It’s always been respect that lead me, not fear. But I guess there was some of that too, in the beginning.”

Now Levi shook his head. “If you are looking for parting words of encouragement, you’ve come to the wrong place. My only advice to you is to live your life the opposite of the way I have. Don’t be an asshole. Show the people around you that you care for them. And make sure your actions don’t leave you with regrets that can never be fixed. It’s too late for me in this life, but maybe I’ll learn a thing or two for the next one.”

With that, Levi closed the door before Eren could say anything else.

* * *

Pixis poured the amber liquid into the two crystal glasses. He picked his own up and swirled it around before downing the whole thing in one gulp. Levi looked at his own, but only sipped at it, watching as Pixis walked to the window of his office and looked across the city at the wall.

“There won’t be much to do here for you, if I’m honest,” Pixis said. “I’m sure you will find the work dull and boring, predictable and pointless compared to what you’re used to. For now, you will be overseeing a group of soldiers responsible for crowd control and security detail. Basically, just patrolling until something happens. Usually, just a civil dispute or something like that. Nothing too taxing.”

He poured himself another drink. “You will be on call 24-7, however. The Military will supply you with housing, a small place here in the center of Hermina, for you to remain nearby at all times.”

“I don’t really expect any special treatment,” Levi said. “I’m sure there are Captain’s quarters within the Garrison headquarters…”

“You may move into them eventually if you’d like, but Erwin has informed me of the situation. He and I both agreed it may be best to give you your own space for a bit. And given your affinity for cleanliness, I thought you may appreciate the offer.”

Levi inclined his head in a nod as he took another sip, welcoming the burn in the back of his throat. Pixis looked at him for a long time.

“Ever wanted children?” Pixis asked abruptly.

Levi’s brows furrowed and his lips parted a bit. “No. I don’t think I’m really the fatherly type.”

“I always felt the same way,” he said, pouring a third glass. “Never quite settled down. Too many ladies, not enough time. Now look at me; bald, and grey all at once. I have no one to leave my things to, like my prized bourbon collection.

“I can remember the day Sloan Emery came into my office to request a transfer to the Garrison. She was in the Military Police at that time, mind you. She was just too cute – you don’t see many red heads anymore. And with her big, blue eyes, so honest and excited. She was young and ready to be trained. There was just something about her that told me I had to accept her transfer. It was odd, too, because there aren’t many people wanting to transfer _out_ of the Military Police. But she was very passionate about her dislike for them.

“Then she beat me every time at chess. Outshot me with the revolvers, then the pistols, then the shotguns. Actually, she was better than me at nearly everything. She came and sat in that chair so many times. Laughed, cried, raged…” his eyes got wistful after a minute, and Levi looked down at the floor, trying to keep his own face under control as he sat in the chair where she’d sat. “She was like the daughter I’d never had.

“I’d hoped to someday leave everything I had to her. No one would have imagined I would have outlived her. I should have blocked that transfer when she told me her intentions to go to the Survey Corps. But she was determined. I knew when she got that look in her eye…” He looked across the desk at Levi for a long moment.

He opened a drawer to his desk and pulled out an object, sliding it across the desk to Levi. “Here, you should have this.”

It was a sterling silver revolver, with a wooden handle. The body of the gun had delicate etchings carved in the shapes of roses and vines. The gun had obviously been used many times, giving the patina a well-used look. The gun felt incredibly light in his hand, the handle fitting his palm almost perfectly.

“She carried that with her everyday she was with us in the Garrison and left it with me when she went to the Corps. _Won’t be needing this where I’m going,_ she’d told me. It always looked so big in her hands, but she could still outshoot me every time,” Pixis said with a hiccup. “I think it would be best that you have it. Use it well.”


	17. Chapter 17

_She was so, so warm, floating. Her hair flowed all around her as she reveled in the warmth, as if she was in the largest bath she’d ever seen. Her arms hovered in the water, helping to keep her upright._

_“Are you just going to stay in there forever?” He asked and she turned to him._

_“Maybe,” she replied coyly. “Maybe you should just join me. We can both stay forever.”_

_He shook his head. “I don’t think we can stay here forever.” He seemed to be surveying the walls, the ceiling, and the liquid she was floating in._

_“Why not?” she pouted at him._

_“We have things to do.”_

_“Like what?” She flicked water at him from where he stood on the water’s edge. He gave her a bored look. “I can think of some things we can do in here.”_

_“You have to get out, now, Sloan.”_

_“Give me one good reason.”_

_“Get out.”_

_“Nope, maybe you should come in after me.”_

_“You think this is a fucking game, Sal? GET OUT NOW!”_

_“Definitely not if you’re going to be so rude.”_

_“Sloan, please, come back to me,” Levi said. His voice cracked before clearing his throat. “I can’t find you anymore.”_

_“Levi, I’m right here,” she said and began to wade toward him. She lifted her arm, but instead of dripping with water, a thick layer of blood ran off her skin. She screamed and fell back._

_“Sloan, please, please.” The light was darkening. “I’m not a good man, I never was, but I can’t live like this. Just end it.”_

_“Levi!” The darkness was taking over._

“LEVI!” she screamed and found her footing. A loud sloshing sound was coming from all around. A light came from above, a little brightness at a time like opening and closing a door. The smell was something terrible, like rancid meat mixed with bile. She began to look around and get her bearings. She touched at her clothing – scout’s uniform, with her gear still attached. She thought back as the area became light again.

A pair of eyes stared up at her from the head floating in the liquid and she screamed as realization hit her. She was inside a Titan’s belly. The walls were pink with reddened vessels running in all different ways. That liquid she was standing in – gastric contents. She tried to hold her own down as her mind raced.

_Eaten by a Titan,_ she thought, _think, think. You have your gear. You can get out._ She took deep breaths through her mouth, trying not to smell any more than necessary. She pulled out her blades, thankful that they were still intact. Her right hand blade backward, left hand forward, she approached the wall of the stomach. If she could simply cut her way out… She had no idea what awaited her outside but it had to be better than waiting in the belly of the Titan. She drew her hands back and spun, cutting deep into the tissue. Her blades were beginning to dull after being in the fluid, but the flesh still gave way with one slice and she found herself tumbling out in a rush of juices.

She landed with a _Splat!_ on the green grass below and looked quickly around her. She was alone with the Titan in a vast and nearly empty landscape. She turned her head to look back at the Titan, who was clutching at its stomach like it wasn’t sure what had happened. Not waiting for it to try to make her into another snack, she jumped to her feet and shot her gear onto its shoulder. She flew up and landed on the shoulder, jumped down and across to slice the neck. She heard a clatter of metal fall to the ground beneath her. The Titan fell as Sloan landed and looked down at her clothing. She was covered in a layer of slime and blood. She fell to her knees and began retching. All that was coming up was bile and she tried to suppress the urge to gag more. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been in there, but there was nothing on her stomach to vomit. The gravity of her situation was beginning to sink in as she took in her surroundings.

She was far from any civilization that she could see, and she was in Titan territory. Her horse was nowhere to be seen. She had no food and no water, and it was _hot_. She sat back on her heels. To make matters worse, when she used her gear she felt how empty the canisters were. She gave the triggers a pull to test. Yea, not even enough left to climb a 5 meter Titan. She looked down at her blades.

“This isn’t real,” she whispered. Her last two blades, the ones she’d just used, were both broken in pieces. She’d heard the noise as she killed the Titan, but hadn’t realized it was her blades breaking. She fell back onto the grass.

“This isn’t real,” she repeated. She had never felt so utterly alone – destitute. She consigned to death. She closed her eyes. There was really no hope. Without food and water and her gear worthless, there was no way to survive. She laid back in the sun for a very long time, feeling the wind blow. She’d never really appreciated the small things – couldn’t remember the last time she’d laid in the grass under the sun just feeling the breeze. She thought back to happy moments, something to hold onto when she knew death was really there. But what could she remember?

The way Ness, Mike, and Hange had welcomed her into the Survey Corps like she was already family. Playing chess with Dot on the Wall. Outshooting him every time when they target practiced. Rescuing Eren. Tending to Armin’s wounds. Making bread with Daddy when she was young.

Laying with Levi. The way it felt when he touched her, leaving a trail of fire behind. She clung to that very hard.

Two babies…

_Not enough,_ she sat up straight.

_Come back to me._

_I haven’t lived enough yet. That’s not enough. I want to die when I’m old. I need to see Erwin alive again. I need to hear Hange obsess over Titans again. I need to see Eren and Armin again, and the other scouts. Need to kiss Levi again. Need to beat Dot again. Need to see them again…_

She stood back up, shedding her gear. It was useless, and only added extra weight. She pulled her jacket off. It was disgusting, hot, and only inhibited her movement. She kept the cape, the Wings of Freedom flaring out behind her as she took off to the north, not really sure of her orientation, but hoping she would run into one of the walls soon. She patted her breast pocket. Two fire starter rocks were still tucked inside. Her leg pocket held her favorite knife, the long one with metal knuckles on the handle. Even if she didn’t make it out, she would fight to the death.

She walked on and on for what felt like hours. The sun was beginning to set, but her hood stayed up to cover her skin and eyes from the brightness. Her mouth was dry and cracked, but there wasn’t even a cloud in the sky to hope for. She hadn’t encountered anything that looked promising. The land was full of green grass and rocks, but no streams. She didn’t even see any small animals. Every once in a while she would come across a small tree, but nothing useful. One saving grace was that the land was so clear that she could easily see miles in all directions and hadn’t once seen a Titan. She was beginning to think she may have been in Wall Rose because of the lack of Titans, but couldn’t figure out how her Titan would have gotten inside there.

The sun was setting and she knew she needed to find somewhere to stop for the night. She was torn. Her body was so tired, she needed to rest, but she knew Titans were less active at night. Perhaps it would be better to press on. Just as she was about to make a decision, she came to the top of a small hill and surveyed the land. Her heart fell as she realized there were no villages or towns to be seen. She did see a forest, however, and began to walk toward it quickly. Maybe a stream could be found inside; at the least she could find some cover. She slowly walked into the forest, aware that Titans could sometimes hide even within the trees. While it was true the forest could provide cover and a hiding place for Sloan, it could do the same for Titans.

After walking deeper into the forest, she spotted her first chance of luck. In the dim light she could make out a puddle of water. She had to contain herself from running over to it, as it was just a standing puddle, no source or flowing water. In the dark light she couldn’t make out the state of it. She dropped to her knees beside it and used the water to wash her hands and face as best as she could. With a sigh, she turned away, looking around at all the trees, some way to get off the ground for the night. She spotted a few with low hanging branches. She took a few deep breaths before using what little energy she had to get a running start and run up the side of the tree as best as she could. She was able to run and jump to grab onto the lowest branch, but pulling herself off the ground felt like the hardest thing she’d ever done. She finally managed to squirm her way up and climbed to the next branch, and the next, and the next, until she was about 6 meters up. She sat on the branch and laid her head against the trunk, wrapping her cape tight around her. Dehydrated, exhausted, and starving, it had taken all of her energy to climb up there. She felt her face tighten up like she was about to cry but no tears came out. She figured she didn’t even have enough water to make tears.

Sleep didn’t come easy. She dozed off and on, but every noise sounded like a Titan about to devour her again. Her head was splitting as the light began to stream through the trees and she knew once she made sure no Titans were nearby she would make a beeline for that puddle and drink it up, tainted or not. She didn’t have the self-control anymore.

Once the sun had risen enough to give light to the forest, Sloan slid slowly down the tree, going from branch to branch. She approached the puddle before wrinkling her nose at it. The stagnant water had a muddy, murky bottom, and she could see hundreds of small bugs squirming in the liquid. Her thirst was suddenly gone at seeing that. Instead, she turned and began to walk further into the forest. By going deeper into the forest, Sloan thought the possibly of seeing a Titan would be lessened. From what Hange had explained once, Titans seemed to thrive on sunlight. Titans would avoid being deep in the forest where the sunlight was weak, she hoped. She also hoped, eventually, she would come out on the other side of the forest.

She wandered through the forest, passing by several bushes that produced berries and fruit, but she was too afraid to try anything. The thought of being sick, poisoned by a berry or rancid water in the forest terrified her, but she knew she would have to try something eventually. She pushed that thought aside and carried on through the darkened woods.

The light from the sun was beginning to dim, the only sign of the time passing. Still, Sloan kept on. When she could barely see a foot in front of her, she crouched on the ground and pulled out her two fire starter rocks. She broke a limb off a nearby tree. It looked to be green inside. Good, so it wouldn’t burn. She used her knife to cut a thin strip from her cape and began gathering some twigs and branches to make a fire bundle. She tied them all together to the limb before clicking the two rocks together. She didn’t have any oil to keep a long burn going, but she hoped she could pick up pieces along the way to keep a fire burning. How hard could it be to find kindle in a forest?

A spark flew into the bundle and she breathed slowly and gently into it, caressing a flame. When the bunch ignited, she picked up her torch and carried on. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep, and night would be the best time to travel. The likelihood of encountering a Titan would be less at night. However, with no water, food, or sleep, it was sheer will power that kept her animated.

It was difficult to tell if she was making any progress. It seemed like every tree that passed, every root she stepped over, was just the same one over and over again. She was trying to be quiet. Even if Titans weren’t a concern, there were other creatures that posed dangers in the night. Bobcats, wolves, bears. Any of them could slice her up and hurt her as easily as a Titan in this state. She was also trying to be careful. All it would take was one misplaced step to send her torch flying and set the whole forest on fire.

After a while, she became attuned to the sounds of the forest and became aware of footsteps behind her. She stopped and the steps stopped. She looked behind her, but the torch light only carried a few feet around. She turned and started walking more quickly, her heart beating faster. Her body wanted to break into a run, to flee, but her mind told her that was a bad idea. She would surely trip if she broke into a run, and maybe even draw more attention to herself.

She turned to look behind her again and saw her follower this time. A small Titan, maybe a 3 meter class, was crouching behind a tree looking at her. It’s huge, blue, round eyes stared from behind the branches. It seemed to be just as scared of her and she was of him, keeping a distance from her, unlike others that would have made a beeline straight for her.

_Great,_ she thought, exasperated, _an Abnormal._ She should have figured that was what she would find wandering around in the forest at night. She was happy that it didn’t seem in too much of a hurry to eat her, but it was unnerving to be followed by a Titan so unpredictable. It seemed calm enough now, but that could flip at any moment. She turned as gently as she could and began to walk again, terrified to take her eyes off the thing, but trying to act as naturally as possible. The Titan began following her again.

They carried on in this fashion, Sloan trying her best to be as unassuming as possible, and the Titan following her, always a ways back and hiding amongst the trees. Sloan imagined it was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

After a while, an eerie moaning came from the Titan behind her. It was a low, lamenting sound, almost like a mourning wail. Sloan heard it skip a few steps behind her and she chanced a look back. He was closer than before, maybe ten feet at most. Sloan skipped forward as well, wanting to keep a distance. The moaning continued.

The Titan shuffled a few steps to keep up. Sloan’s breathing quickened again. The Titan was no longer just following, but trying to close the gap between them, moving in for the kill. Sloan tried to hurry away, but the ground was knotted with tree roots. She was picking her way carefully.

“ _Wait_ ,” she heard a mumble. Stunned, she looked behind her, to see a Titan hand coming at her. It grabbed her right arm, its hand wrapping around her bicep. It wailed again before giving her a shake. It raked its free hand over its face, as if trying to make a difficult decision. It leered at her with its big, baby eyes.

Sloan didn’t know what to do. Should she try to engage it? Attack? Her torch was in the hand that the Titan had latched onto. She waved the fire in its face. His attention was diverted for a second, but his grip tightened around her arm. She panicked and drove her torch forward, into his eye. The Titan let out a terrible howl as she pulled the torch back. He let go of her arm momentarily and she ran.

Her foot found a root and her torch went flying. She stumbled onto her knees and looked back to see the torch, now a firestarter. A huge flame flared, igniting leaves and wood in the dry forest. The Titan emerged, now covered in flames and wailing even louder, coming straight for her. She put out her arm as she shuffled backwards, and the Titan opened his mouth and latched onto her upper arm.

She couldn’t laugh at the irony. It was the exact same place that she had tied off a tourniquet for Erwin right before she’d been eaten. A cold realization washed over her when she thought there was no way to come back from this one. Being eaten whole was one thing, but piece by piece?

Flames licked the side of her face and she could smell singed skin and burnt hair as the flaming Titan caught her clothing on fire. She felt her neck, jaw, and cheek sear as flames danced. She gritted her teeth against the pain of being scorched alive.

On its own volition, she felt her left hand reach into her pocket and pull out her knife. Without thinking, she struck at the Titan’s neck, digging deep. She didn’t stop when the handle hit flesh, but kept going, forcing the knife deeper until she was wrist deep in the wound. The Titan clamped down hard, severing her arm, but dropping her back to the ground.

The Titan fell to the ground, flames consuming his body. Sloan could see her arm in the light from the fire. The stub was jagged and drenched in blood. More of the thick red stuff was seeping out, making a crimson puddle that glistened in the flame light. She wasn’t even in pain, the nerve endings all severed off. She kicked with her feet until her back rested against a tree. She swallowed hard as she looked at the Titan’s body, her knife visible in the flames as the body began to decompose.

_So this is how it ends. Can’t say I didn’t go out without a fight…_

“No one will know.” A bored voice said from nearby.

Sloan tried to turn her head to the familiar voice but didn’t have the strength to move. Instead, she fixed her eyes on the pool of blood that seemed to be getting larger and larger.

“You’ll die out here and no one will know what truly happened.”

She heard footsteps coming closer. Brown boots stepped through her blood.

“Everyone thinks a Titan ate you. That will be your legacy.”

She followed the boots up, up the pants, the shirt, the jacket, the cravat, to the irritatingly unconcerned look on Levi’s face.

“Do you feel guilty? Everyone’s been worried over you, and here you are, playing.”

She so wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. She tried to form words, to tell them that she sure as fuck wasn’t playing around out here.

“Prove it,” Levi said, reading her mind. “Do some real work, little girl.”

Her mouth twisted in an angry face and she gritted her teeth, not from pain, but from annoyance. She was about to tell him where he could shove it before he stopped her again.

“Could you really let yourself die knowing I’ll never know I have children?”

The blood was draining from her face, whether it was from that comment or that it was all leaving her body, she didn’t know.

_You would find out, Pixis knows. He would find you._

“Make me learn from someone else. That’s cold.”

_Let me die in peace! Have I not suffered enough?!_

She felt a pressure at her throat as he grabbed the neck of her shirt and shook her hard.

“No! If you think this is suffering, I’ve got something for you, Princess. Suffering is continuing on, living, while everyone around you is dead. The one who dies escapes. Suffering is for the living, not the dead.”

He gave her one last shake before he let her go, and she hit the trunk of the tree hard. “You better hope you die out here. If I ever see you again, I’ll show you what suffering is.”

* * *

Something wet fell on her face. She opened her eyes to see another drop of dew roll off a leaf and fall right onto her forehead. The next one fell straight down into her mouth, wetting the very tip of her dry tongue.

Her head hurt, like the worst hangover ever. A dull, throbbing pain, like her brain was shriveled up from water loss. With a start, she sat up straight. She was still in the forest. Her lips were dry and chapped and her stomach was churning, empty for days. She saw a darkened spot on the ground. Her own dried, old blood. She slowly chanced a look at her arm, sure she was about to be sick.

But her arm was there. Her shirt sleeve was bloodied and tattered at the upper arm, but her arm was there, pale and whole as always. She held her hand in front of her, her fingers shaking. She wiggled her fingers, making a fist and splaying them back out. She touched her arm with her left hand, sure that it was a hallucination. It felt real.

She put her right hand on the ground, bracing herself against it to stand up. It held steady, like it was never gone. She looked around, thinking maybe it was a dream. Remnants of the Titan carcass remained, her knife sticking straight up through the debris. She grabbed it up, but stopped as she looked back at the carnage she’d created. The entire forest from where she’d come was burnt ash. The trunks of the trees were blackened and charred. Leaves and foliage were still smoking from the fire.

_What…the hell…_ She stared, confused, at her surroundings before sinking to her knees. Her face scrunched up and she wept, but no tears would come, just like before. Death truly would have been an escape. She was still in the forest, with no food or water, no way out, and no real way to defend herself. And she knew, for certain, her arm had been bitten off. The Titan’s remains were proof that it hadn’t been a nightmare. Her shirt sleeve was further evidence. She touched the side of her face, where she had felt the flames burn her flesh. Her skin was smooth as before, but as she touched her hair, she felt the crinkly mess where a chunk of hair had been singed off right above her shoulder. Her chest heaved as she went through the motions of crying, without the tears and sniffles. Her body simply had no fluid left to sacrifice for such things.

She sat in the forest for a long time, feeling sorry for herself and her predicament. And dream Levi? He could go fuck himself. There was no sense in living a second longer if she was just going to die out in the wilderness with nothing more to show for it. She went for her knife, pulling it out and looking at it in the light through the trees. She followed the blade up to her hand, where she grasped the handle.

What did it mean? She had been swallowed whole by a Titan, escaped when she should have died, had her arm bitten off by another Titan, and now the arm had regenerated. She thought back to the story of how Eren’s Titan had awakened. Was that the catalyst – being eaten? Was she a Titan Shifter now?

She didn’t have time to consider the thought, however, because she heard a sound in the distance. Her ears perked and she strained to listen as she rose from her crouched position. Was it hoof beats?

Abandoning all care, she jumped up and ran as fast as she could toward the sound. Could it be her horse? Or maybe a search party for her? Even just a supply caravan passing. The sound of hoof beats meant the end of the forest and a step closer to rescue. She ran as fast as she could. As the trees began to thin she felt another spark of energy. She had no idea she’d been so close to getting out.

She burst through the tree line, happy to see the open sky again. She looked around, searching for the source of the hoof beats. She saw two men on horses, riding away from her direction.

“No, no!” she said. “HEY!” she screamed at them, whistling loud and screaming at the top of her lungs. They slowed and she saw one of the men look back in her direction. She jumped up and down waving her arms.

“HEY!! HELP!” She almost cried when they turned and began riding back toward her. They slowed as they came close to her, circling around her on their horses.

“Thank God,” she said, exhaling and laughing. One of the men dismounted and walked up to her, circling around again with his horse reins in his hand. Sloan circled around with him. “I’m Captain Sloan Emery of the Survey Corps. I was lost during one of the expeditions and I’ve been out here ever since. Please, do you have any water?”

The men exchanged glances at each other before one extended a flask to her. She guzzled it greedily before wiping at her mouth. She imagined she was quite a sight as they kept staring at her, looking her up and down as if taking stock of her before looking at one another.

“Is there any way I may have a ride to the closest town? There are Titans nearby, I’ve just recently fought one in the forest.” She pointed back to the smoking woods.

“You did that, girl?” one of the men asked.

“Well, I didn’t mean to exactly… It was an accident. A Titan attacked me, and I dropped my torch.”

“Hmm.” One of the men said.

“Missing in action, you say?” the other asked.

“Yes, they may have reported that, or possibly deceased, given the, um, circumstances, of my disappearance.”

“Hmm,” the one said again. He approached her and pulled out a long knife. Sloan flinched away as he brought it close to her face. He used it to separate her hair, eyeing the red of her strands. “A red head, hmm? Haven’t seen one of you in a while. Probably could get a pretty penny for one. Whatcha think, Pete?”

“She is a pretty one, needs some cleaning up though. The Interior MPs would just eat her up; I know they’d all like a turn.”

Sloan felt her blood run cold as she looked the men over. _Traffickers,_ she thought. She wasn’t sure why they were out beyond the walls, but she had heard stories of the human trafficking. Men would capture and sell women in illegal transactions. She knew it happened Underground, where the Military wouldn’t go, but apparently the Interior squad was sometimes paying customers.

“Maybe even sell her to the Royal Family,” the first one said. “Red heads are so valuable, the King himself might like to see her.” He walked straight up to her. “Don’t make any sudden moves.” He began patting her down, looking for weapons. The only one she had on her was her knife, and he found it quickly. He put it into the waistband of his pants before turning back to his horse and digging through his saddlebag to pull out a rope. Sloan began to back up.

“Don’t run, girl. We’ll catch you, and we’ll be angry. Just be calm and we won’t hurt you any.” He went for her hands and she swung her fist at his face, catching his jaw. He was stunned, and she used the time to punch him straight in the stomach, before kneeing him right in the groin. He went to his knees with that. She guessed he wasn’t used to women putting up such a fight. The second man jumped off his horse, coming after her. He was a little more strategic than his partner, trying to fake to the left before going to the right. She swung her right fist at him, but he caught it. She threw an uppercut with her left, aiming for his chin, but he kneed her in the stomach, knocking the air out of her. The first man had recovered by then, and came at her back. She tried all she could to elbow him, but he wrapped an arm around her neck, putting her in a choke hold.

“We are going to have some fun with you, girl,” he said in her ear as she began to panic, oxygen no longer flowing easily into her lungs, blood no longer getting to her brain. “You just sleep now, we’ll make sure you’re comfortable when you wake up.” The world started to go black. The last thing she heard was the men laughing.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Very graphic adult scenes ahead… Human trafficking triggers. Physical abuse. Possible rape and definite mutilation. You have been warned.

Sloan looked across the carriage at the other women. There were five of them in all. One of the other women was weeping in the corner. The first night they had all been together, the woman had screamed, Sloan assumed to try and draw attention to herself, looking for a way to be rescued. The men had put a stop to that. Sloan didn’t see what had happened next, because they jerked the woman out of the carriage away from the rest of them, but judging by the sounds she’d heard and her own treatment when she’d first been captured, the men weren’t afraid to rough up a woman. The woman had kept quiet since then, silently crying to herself.

The other 3 women in the carriage with her had dead eyes, as if they were no strangers to such treatment. They may have been kidnapped when they were young and simply passed around from man to man as they’d grown older. Sal tried to look as unassuming as possible, but the men didn’t seem to be too concerned with her. They’d made comments about “damaging the goods,” and apparently they believed she was worth something more than the other women. Her red hair seemed to fetch a high premium in the black market.

The first night she’d woken up, she learned they’d cut her hair. It was a jagged cut with one sweep of a knife, but it worked to even out the layers where it had been singed off. Her glorious hair, though frizzy and with a mind of its own, was now cut just above her shoulders in a bob. She knew she shouldn’t be concerned with it at a time like this, but she was still a little sad to see it go. That same night, she’d been given a basin of cold water and a bar of simple soap to clean up with. It was awkward getting cleaned, especially considering one of the men stayed with her, watching, so she couldn’t escape. Afterward, she’d been given a brown canvas dress to pull over her head, no undergarments. The “dress” was little more than a potato sack with holes cut into it for her head and arms. A plain rope was tied around her waist to give the sheath shape.

The carriage rattled as they approached their destination. In the three days’ time she’d been with the men, she’d learned through their conversations that they were travelling inside the walls. They never spoke directly to the women, but seemed unconcerned with discussing plans in their presence. The trafficking of women was not legal, but individuals were rarely convicted of it. The Military and Crown had not released official statements, and Sloan knew they not only turned a blind eye but would often participate in the use of the women, whether as labor workers or for sexual purposes. The Military Police and royal families were often willing to pay traffickers a high premium for their “services.”

Sloan was not concerned about that particular night. She’d heard they were planning to use her as advertisement to entice interest, only to hopefully sell her to someone within the castle or anyone else with a high enough offer in a few days’ time. They would bide their time with her. She knew if they advertised her well enough, the chances of her being recognized would be higher, but would that make a difference? The human trafficking business was dangerous, and many of the buyers, regardless of castle or military involvement, cared little for the women they bought, neither were they concerned for any prosecution. Once they were purchased, they were property, and anyone who spoke out against it was disposed of accordingly.

No, for the moment Sloan would just have to sit patiently, waiting for the right moment.

And when it was time, she would kill them both and run.

* * *

Levi sat at a round table in the back of the saloon. He’d been in Hermina for three days and absolutely hated it. Everything about it was enraging to him. The soldiers he was in command over – basically acting as a glorified babysitter – were slovenly and selfish, so consumed with themselves. They had no idea what went on beyond the walls and would probably shit themselves if they ever saw a Titan, but still lived in constant fear since the wall fell. Levi knew they would be eaten in a heartbeat if it happened again, and he might actually get some enjoyment out of watching it happen.

The most interesting thing that had happened was a dispute over a horse sale gone wrong.

He’d moved into a quaint little home in the center of the city, where he could be centrally located for any problems that arose any time, day or night. It was a small home with one bedroom and a water room off the main kitchen and living area. There was a small wood fire stove, so he really had no complaints with it, but the quietness was unnerving. It was so silent in the middle of the night, and he felt smothered when he realized he was truly all alone within those four walls.

He hadn’t even pulled back the sheets on the bed in the three nights he’d spent there.

He’d been to the saloon every night. The owner’s old woman was the bar keep, and she’d already grown accustomed to his presence. On the second night he’d come in, she’d simply brought him a whole bottle of the amber whiskey, figuring that was easier than chasing back and forth, filling his glass with the bottle over and over again as she’d done the previous night.

He still hadn’t managed to drink himself into a drunken stupor, but it helped calm him enough that he could finally drift off for an hour or two sitting up in one of the kitchen chairs in the early morning.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his ankle over his knee and looking at the crowd. Most of the patrons were men coming in for a drink after a long day before going home to nagging wives, he imagined. Barbers, metal workers, bakers. No one recognized him as Levi, Captain of the Survey Corps, and he preferred that. It was nice to blend in and not be bothered for once, but it did breed a new level of loneliness he hadn’t felt before. As much as he’d been irritated in the past by the non-stop ruminations of Hange Zoe, the constant corps talk of Erwin, the hero worship of the younger cadets, and the shouts of the townspeople, the silence and lack of background conversation was foreign to him. Even in plain sight, in the public, he was entirely alone.

A young blonde woman danced seductively on the stage as a man played on the piano. She smiled and shook a long red feather at a few of the men in the tables at the foot of the stage, her giggles carrying through the saloon. The fake laughter made him nauseous. The saloon girl’s face was so caked in powder his skin felt itchy just thinking about it.

A man walked by with a woman in tow. The man was of average build, with sandy colored, shaggy hair. A five o’clock shadow was evident on his face as he nodded to patrons, stopping to say a few words to some of the men here and there. The woman was taller than him, thin, and with mousey brown hair. She had the empty eyes of a whore, and Levi then recognized the man as the woman’s owner. He wasn’t sure whether the man was a procurer, or was selling the woman outright, but he wanted nothing to do with either that night and waved them away without a word when they approached his table.

Truth was, he had found himself in a brothel multiple times over his life. Into his teenage years he’d realized the place he’d called home from his earliest memories was a brothel, and his mother a prostitute. He’d never known any different when he was young. She’d kept it behind closed doors, far away from him as a little boy. Years after he’d been enlisted, after he’d given up on the possibility of him and Sloan, he’d found himself back in a brothel for other reasons. The first time, he’d felt confused. Was he betraying his mother’s memories? Spitting on the relationship he’d had with Sloan? He’d found somewhere in his mind to put those thoughts away, and with time after time, the guilt subsided.

He leaned forward in his chair to grab the whiskey and pour another glass. In the corner of the saloon by the door he saw a crowd gathering around. He figured it was the man again, parading another of his women around, trying to drum up some business.

“Now, now men,” a voice carried through the crowd. “Let the lady through. She’s not for purchase…tonight!” he finished with a laugh. The crowd dissipated a bit, beginning to go back to their activities while the man began to make his way around the room with his next product.

“Got a red head this time, Steve?” a voice called out.

“That’s right! And she’s got a temper to match!”

That piqued Levi’s interest. Red hair was becoming increasingly rarer, and he’d only known a few people to have red hair naturally. It hurt his heart to think of Sloan and her own red hair, but he was still fascinated by the prospect of seeing another woman that would share that trait with her. It would be a familiarity, almost, in this new and lonely world he was living in.

“It looks like whoever gets her has their work cut out for them!”

“She will definitely need to be broken in, like any good horse. Come on, girl!”

They were slowly making their way around the room. Something inside of Levi felt like it would burst wide open, like his life depended on getting a glimpse of this red headed woman. He shifted in his seat, trying to find a comfortable place and wondering why he was plagued with this sudden unease. He sat back and swirled his drink in the glass, trying his best to calm down and forget about the woman that would be coming around. He wouldn’t solicit her, regardless, so there was really no point in getting excited. He was willing to bet it was dyed red anyway, not natural.

“What’s that you got there, girl?” he heard from behind him and knew it was the voice of “Steve,” the trafficker. “You take a knife off that table?” There was a scuffle behind him and he turned to see the woman’s back. The man had her wrist in his hand, a knife held out beside them. He twisted until she released the utensil and it fell to the ground with a clatter. He jerked her arm hard then, pulling her back out of Levi’s sight. “It’s time somebody taught you a lesson, woman. I don’t care what Pete says.”

Levi turned back around and took several deep breaths, trying his best to calm the pounding in his ears. Though he didn’t see her face, everything about the woman reminded him of her. The shade and texture of her rich hair, her small, fragile frame. He shook his head to stop from running after them.

It was none of his business what happened to a whore outside a saloon.

* * *

Steve threw her unceremoniously from the back door of the saloon into the dark alley. She stumbled a bit but managed to keep her footing without the use of her tied hands. She turned and faced him, her back against the brick wall of the neighboring building. She looked around for anything that could be used as a weapon, but in the dark all she could make out was the shape of what she assumed was a pile of garbage, judging by the smell. In the moonlight and dim light coming from the saloon’s door, she could see the angry look on Steve’s face and for the first time, she was scared.

The trafficker Steve had been making eyes at her from the moment they caught her outside the forest. The eyes he made were dark, and she could almost see the images of what he would do to her when he made those eyes. He was a man that was used to sampling their goods before selling them, and he was especially incensed that he hadn’t had a chance to try her yet. Pete told him he would “damage” the goods, and she had no doubt about what sort of damage he’d do. But Pete wasn’t there, and Steve didn’t seem too concerned about the repercussions. He grabbed a handful of her hair and snatched her toward him.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me. From day one you’ve had this look on your face, like you’re just looking for an opportunity to kill me and get away,” he said, his fingers tangled in her hair. “Some men might be turned off by the disrespect, but I feed off it. It just makes me want to break you more.” He licked at her neck, and she recoiled as she breathed in the scent of him: sweat, smoke, and garbage. She jerked her knee, trying her hardest to knee him hard in the groin. He was expecting it and blocked her knee with his thigh. He slapped her hard across the face, so hard her head spun and bright lights flashed in front of her eyes. She fell sideways but was able to catch herself on her knees before she toppled over completely. She tasted blood and knew her lip had been split.

“Watch where you’re kneeing, girl. I’m about to use that.” He slapped her again with the back of his hand, this time sending her head snapping the opposite way. The world was a strange splash of colors alternating between flashes of bright lights and a creeping dimness. Each time she saw her world going black, a fist sent a whole new array of colors into her vision. 

A knee to her nose sent her flying backwards. She heard the crunch; definitely broken. With her hands tied, she didn’t even have the option of picking herself up. Steve was kind enough to help though, pulling her onto her knees by the ropes around her wrists. Her eyes were beginning to swell shut already, making it even more difficult to see in the dim light. She heard the sound of a belt unbuckling and a zipper being unzipped. She didn’t need to see anymore to realize what was coming straight for her face. A large hand wrapped around the back of her head, holding her still.

“What you need is for someone to show you who’s boss. I’m willing to do that. Consider this round one of your discipline.”

Before he could make the first move, she lunged forward, mouth open and bit down as hard as she could. She didn’t want to think about what she’d just done, but she did register that she only had to bite down as hard as with a carrot to sever his appendage from his body. He let out a bloodcurdling scream and released her as he jumped back. She spit his member as far as she could, hoping it landed amongst the garbage where it belonged.

The door to the saloon opened as Steve continued to scream, his hands going down to the junction of his legs where something was suddenly missing.

“What the hell’s going on out here?” Sloan heard Pete ask over Steve’s screams.

“That fucking bitch bit my dick off!”

“She WHAT?!”

“You heard me, Pete! What am I supposed to do?”

“Go to the infirmary! They can at least staunch the bloodflow!” Sloan heard the patter of his feet as he ran off.

“I’m not done with you, fucking whore!” he screamed out into the night.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth, woman.” A punch caught her in the jaw again, a closed fist that sent her flying. She felt a tooth come loose and shoot out of her mouth. A hand grabbed the collar of the potato sack and pulled her high off the ground, strangling her. The door to the saloon opened again as her world was finally going black, and Sloan prayed it would mean a quick end to what had become the tale of her tragic life. A love lost – twice, – eaten by a Titan, nearly starved to death in the wilderness, burned alive, amputated and regenerated, births that she hadn’t even been able to see grown to fruition, and then to meet her end at the hands of a human trafficker. They would probably throw her body in a trash heap in the underground. A fitting end.

“Woman troubles?” The voice sent chills down Sloan’s back. Pete lowered her to the ground just enough that her feet touched. The encroaching darkness drew back, like dark waves lapping at the shores of her mind. She begged it to return, to put her out of her misery.

“This is none of your concern, sir,” Pete said.

“I think it may be. I’m Garrison Captain of this district. If someone is being murdered in an alleyway, I would consider that my business.”

“This woman is ours. We were trying to advertise her tonight, hoping to sell her soon, but I think she may be defective. Bit my buddy’s dick right off. She’s like a wild horse; stubborn as hell. Needs some breaking in.” It was too dark for Sloan to register any expression on his face. Or maybe that was her vision fading again or her eyes swelling shut more.

“I’m sure it was well deserved,” the man said and grabbed her arm. “Let’s see how she fares and we’ll decide if it’s even or not.” He jerked her into the light of the saloon, grabbing both her upper arms and holding her half an arm’s length in front of him. She felt her knees go weak at the look of him. His sharp, cutting features, his grey eyes, while expressionless to some, told an entire story to Sloan. He looked the same, but more gaunt now, as if he hadn’t eaten or slept in weeks. He’d lost a good bit of weight. He looked like shit; a skeleton of a man.

He didn’t recognize her. She could read it in his eyes. He lingered on her hair and looked over her body as if he was expecting someone else, but the face didn’t match. The look on his face was one mixed with regret and relief.

“She’s in pretty rough shape.” He said simply and without emotion. He was holding her up now. “Stand up. Did they break a leg?” He was about to release her back, she knew. With the punches she’d received, she had no idea how her face must look. She didn’t blame him for not recognizing her – she probably wouldn’t know her own face with all the swelling she was sure was going on.

She swallowed hard, trying to will her mouth and tongue into action, to tell him who she was, before he released her back into her captor’s care. There were really no laws against trafficking, and a woman was considered property in these situations.

“At least take it somewhere else, out of the public,” she heard him say. Cold.

She moved her lips but her mouth was too dry for a sound. Her throat felt like it had been crushed.

“Bit a man’s dick off, you said? Sounds like he was an idiot, getting it that close.”

“I won’t argue with that. I don’t guess he’ll make that mistake again.”

A sound came out of her in a whisper.

“What did you say?”

“Levi,” she managed to croak out.

The blood seemed to drain from his face and he stood still as a statue, his hands tight on her arms now.

“Levi Ackerman,” Sloan said this time, her voice stronger.

His eyes sharpened then, his mouth becoming a straight line in his face. He turned her more to the light and pulled back one of her eyelids, presumably to get a better look at her eyes. She saw a crimson red flash in his eyes for one second before they went completely dead. In one fluid motion he reached into his holster and removed a revolver, aiming and shooting Pete square between the eyes. The sound and flash nearly split her head open, deafening and blinding her all at once. She stumbled back and fell flat on her bottom as she was released suddenly. Her eyes were now completely swollen shut.

A moment later she felt hands on her. The rope around her wrists was cut, and she felt herself being lifted from the ground. A calmness was beginning to settle over her as she let herself exhale into his arms. She let her head fall back against his shoulder, allowing herself to surrender to the changing darkness.

A flash, and she was fighting. Dim candlelight glistened in the room. Someone was trying to remove her clothes! Images of Steve rushed to her and she swung her fist, not seeing through her swollen eyes, but hoping to land a punch somewhere.

“Sloan,” a deep voice commanded, and she was stilled. Strong, sure arms lowered her into a warm bath and she shivered from the sensation. A soft, wet cloth touched gingerly at her face. She dozed.

This time she shivered from the cold and wet. A soft towel brushed against her, caressing her face, her arms, her legs. As it travelled up her legs she became violent again, kicking and screaming. A fist connected with flesh this time, and she heard a grunt. He held her tight, keeping her from hurting him or herself. After she calmed, she felt herself being lifted again. She was deposited in a soft bed. Blankets were pulled up to her chin. She was already asleep.

She sat straight up in the bed, breathing quickly. He was at her side immediately, kneeling by the bed, his hands comforting, soothing, looking for what might hurt.

“I’m right here,” he reassured as he urged her to lay back. It was still hours until dawn.

“Please,” she said, grabbing at his arms. One of her eyes was opening a bit and she could make out his silhouette in the darkness. “Where?”

“In that chair,” he said and gestured to a shadow in the corner.

“Lay with me,” she said, “Please. Hold me.”

He climbed in behind her, clothes still on, and cradled her against him. She finally settled into a snoring rhythm that he knew would carry her through the night.

* * *

Levi was sweating when he woke up. He’d slept in his clothes with Sloan through the night, not wanting to cause her to panic even more if she woke up from a nightmare with a naked man behind her. She seemed to be unaware when these visions took over. He couldn’t imagine what they’d done to her to make her act that way. No. He could, and that made him enraged. He killed one of her captors last night, too quickly for his liking, but he couldn’t control himself. He knew there was at least one more left, however. He could find that one easily. It would be simple enough to find a man at an infirmary with his penis bitten off and being Captain of the Garrison gave him cause to speak with the man. It was better that he save his energy for this man, he decided. He could take his time, really make him suffer. The thought of avenging her made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

He slowly climbed out of the bed, trying not to wake her. He stood over her for a moment, trying to assess the damage on her face, but couldn’t get a good look from that angle. He was still waiting to wake up. He wasn’t sure if it was a dream or a nightmare, but he was having a hard time believing Sloan Emery was with him in his… home? Yes, it felt like a home with her there. He’d seen her eaten. How had she escaped? Could he have chased after her more? How had she fallen into the grasp of those traffickers? What had they done to her? His fists tightened.

He went into the kitchen, leaving the bedroom door ajar in case she woke up. It was mid-morning, he knew from the height of the sun. He’d never missed a day at the military in his life, but he was not concerned with the Garrison at the moment. Instead, he fixed himself a cup of tea and sipped at it as he stared out the window over the sink.

He hadn’t really taken the time to look at his surroundings since he’d arrived; he’d been too self-absorbed in his depressive state to even take stock of the home he’d been put in. It was a nice home, he could now appreciate that, with the door opening into the central room which held seating for relaxing, a table and chairs, and the kitchen. The warmth of the wooden floors and walls seemed cozy and inviting this morning, instead of the drabness that he’d seen before. The window he was looking through had a small window box with a few flowers blooming. The sun streamed in through the window, warming his face. One of two doors led to the wash room with the bath tub, and the other to the bedroom. From his viewpoint he could peer in the bedroom. Sloan’s back was turned to the door, the blankets falling away exposing her milky back.

As he’d bathed her the previous night, he’d noticed her bruises were confined to her face. Had last night been the first night they’d been violent with her? One of them had mentioned they were trying to advertise her and then sell her for a higher profit. Were they trying to be careful with her, not damage her skin? While the thought filled him with heat, he hoped it was the case. Maybe they’d wanted to keep her… – what was the word they would use? _Intact._

She must have been the one trying to smuggle the knife. One had lost their temper, wanted to teach her a lesson. She was scrappy, he’d give her that. She would not lay down and roll over for just anyone. They would have killed her last night for sure, if he hadn’t gone out.

He couldn’t shake an uncomfortable feeling last night. He couldn’t sit still. He’d finally gotten up to leave and something told him to go out just as he’d heard the man scream. The sound was very similar to some he’d heard out in the field when battling Titans.

Her face had been so badly beaten that he didn’t recognize her. Both eyes swollen shut, a fat, split lip, and one tooth missing. But he’d know her voice anywhere. And when he pulled back her eyelids and looked at her eyes, there was no denying. Seeing her like that; beaten, bloodied, barely standing, and hearing that another man had been trying to defile her… His stomach was doing flips again just thinking about it. He hadn’t been able to hold the liquor down, then. He hoped she wouldn’t remember that part.

A knock at the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He put his cup down on the table and walked past the bedroom door to the front door. He didn’t bother closing the door because he wouldn’t be letting in any visitors.

He turned the knob cautiously. He hadn’t had any visitors since arriving and wondered what it could be about.

“Captain,” Commander Pixis said with a nod as the door was opened.

“Commander,” Levi responded, his hand still on the doorknob.

“I was coming by to do a wellness check. I heard you hadn’t reported to post this morning and, well, honestly, given the state of things lately, I was concerned.”

“Wanted to check to be sure I hadn’t hung myself?” He spoke dryly, but the closeness of the Commander’s thoughts was clear. He’d entertained the idea frequently in the previous weeks, though he was never able to fully commit. Was it fate holding him back? He shivered unperceptively at the realization of so many close calls. Where would Sloan be now otherwise? “I’m still very much alive this morning, just wasn’t feeling well and thought I needed some extra sleep.”

“You certainly look well this morning, Captain. You seem more at ease.” Pixis was scanning the room from where he stood outside of the door, his eyes taking in every detail, Levi knew.

“Nothing like a good night’s rest.”

“Well, are you going to invite me in?”

“I’d prefer not, Commander.”

“Hmmm,” Pixis said and eyed Levi up and down. His moustache twitched at one corner. “Have some company over, perhaps?”

“I’ll be back at my post in the morning, Commander,” Levi said as he began to close the door. He didn’t want to entertain anymore questioning from the Commander and wasn’t sure how to explain anything. He certainly felt like a new man, so different from the same time the previous day. Best to let the old man think he’d taken refuge in the arms of a new woman.

“Take all the time you need, Captain,” Levi heard as the door was closed, but not before he heard a gentle chuckling.


	19. Chapter 19

Erwin Smith sat at his desk, looking down at papers. Not for the first time that week, his mind drifted to Levi Ackerman. He had become so accustomed to his presence, to having his input on what the next step was. Even if Erwin hadn’t agreed with him on many issues, he valued his strategic thinking. They were often like opposing sides, Erwin being the light; Levi, the dark. The machine in his mind was frozen, the cogs locked up with confusion over the loss of his right hand. He still couldn’t get that last image of Levi out of his mind – skeletal frame, darkened face, dead eyes. He scratched at his grown-in beard with his lone hand as he barely registered a plate with a slice of bread being placed on his desk.

“Is everything alright, Commander?” He looked up at Cassie as she set down a glass of fresh water. “You didn’t make it down for dinner. I was concerned.”

He managed to give her the smallest of smiles, a tight rising of the corners of his mouth. Cassie had been a large help in the last few weeks, not only helping him after his traumatic amputation, but also helping his comrades. And what she’d done for Levi… Erwin loved her for the gentle care she’d given him while in his catatonic state.

“I just can’t seem to think anymore,” he said. “The last few weeks it’s like my brain is in a fog. I just don’t know what direction to take anymore.”

“May I sit?” she asked, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. He gave her a curt nod and leaned back in his chair, taking a moment to focus on something other than the task at hand. “Perhaps you are too focused. You are under a lot of stress. Your mind needs a moment to rest. When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”

Erwin thought back then. It was true, he had not been resting properly.

“If I may say, Commander, you need time to relax. I know it seems like now is not the best time, but you must consider how effective you are being in this state. If you are not progressing, perhaps you should change your process. I know you have suffered several losses lately…” her eyes went to his arm for one second, before looking back at him.

“This arm,” he looked down at himself. “This arm was nothing. But seeing Sloan Emery eaten just feet from me… How many times have I wondered if it should have been me? Not just in her place, but a hundred times before her, anytime one of my soldiers would die. Should that have been me? I gave the commands. Yet, here I am. I deserve worse.

“But still, nothing compares to Levi Ackerman, watching his decline. I murdered two Captains that day. I still cannot get the last image of him out of my mind, it’s as if it’s burned there. Maybe he’s dead by now – I wouldn’t be surprised. I spend so much time wondering. I’d hoped sending him away would be the right decision for him. But maybe I just wanted him out of my sight, so I couldn’t see what I’d done to him anymore. Death would have been preferable to what happened to him, I’m sure.”

“You cannot move forward anymore with that line of thinking. You’ve built this block in your mind. Is it your guilt holding you back?”

“Maybe…” he thought for a moment. “Maybe, the best thing to do is to go back and see him for myself. I don’t think I can function until I see the outcome of my decision. If he is dead, it will be merciful, for him at least. If he still lives… I need to know what I’ve made of him.”

* * *

Levi let the door click into place before locking it. He went back to the window – the one he’d decided he actually did like, after all – and pulled the curtains together. He was concerned for prying eyes and didn’t put it past Pixis to come back later and peer in the windows. Or was he being paranoid?

The tea kettle was filled with more water and placed on the stove to warm. He opened a few cabinets, looking to see what would be available for Sloan to eat when she awoke. The cabinets were nearly bare and Levi realized he hadn’t eaten or drank much of anything except liquor in the last several…days? Weeks, maybe? He couldn’t recall the last solid food he’d eaten. He remembered the small loaf of bread someone had slipped into his luggage the day he’d left the Regiment and began to slice some pieces off. The kettle was just beginning to whistle and he pulled it off, pouring the hot water into two cups with tea leaves to steep.

He walked into the washroom to take stock of himself for what felt like the first time in weeks. His own reflection was nearly unrecognizable. His face, one that was round and youthful a few weeks prior, was now all thin planes and hard angles, showing his age with the loss of weight. Around his eyes were deep wrinkles and dark circles. He was hopeful those would dissipate in the next few days. Even around his mouth – which had permanently set into a straight line – wrinkles had formed around the outer corners where his lips had been drawn down into a frown for too long.

His hair had grown, he noticed. The top layers had now grown below his nose. He contemplated cutting it at that moment, but he began to hear movement in the bedroom. Instead, he pulled it back, securing it at the back of his head, barely registering the streak of grey that had grown out underneath.

* * *

Sloan turned over as she heard footsteps approaching. She blinked her eyes against the bright sunlight of the bedroom window as she watched Levi set down a steaming cup on the table by the bed. She slowly sat herself up in the bed, keeping the blankets around her chest, but realized how silly that action was as she looked across at the man sitting on the edge of the bed, his own cup in his hand. She began to drink her tea and studied him over the cup, them both sitting in silence.

The shape he’d been in was evident to her last night, even in the thick of everything that had transpired. He didn’t have much weight to lose, but it had left somehow. Probably mostly muscle atrophy, he was nothing but skin and bones sitting in front of her. The bone structure of his face was evident with the thinness, but he was still very handsome to her, with his piercing grey eyes and dark hair. He looked especially dashing with his hair pulled back from his face. She could see where some of the hair underneath had begun to turn grey.

“Are we really old enough for grey hair?” she asked, the first of them to speak. His hand went to the hair subconsciously, smoothing the wiry strands back.

“I’m still trying to figure that out. I’m not sure when I got so old.”

“It gets the best of us, eventually.”

They continued to sip silently, but not uncomfortably.

“Are you hungry?” he asked eventually.

She thought for a moment. “I think so.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed, contemplating whether she should wrap the blanket around herself. Before she could go much further in her thinking, Levi stood and went to a trunk in the corner of the room. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but when he turned around and placed her green dress on the bed, she sat speechless. Levi was studying her carefully, she realized, his eyes looking puzzled at what he was seeing. She had no idea what her face must look like, with all the bruises and swelling, but she felt a heat rise up her neck and face at his intense scrutiny. She quickly took the dress and lifted it over her head, letting it fall to her knees as she stood up.

“Where is the washroom?”

“Next room over.” She walked out of the room with him following. She went into the next room and closed the door against him, wanting a moment to study her face with her own eyes. She stood with her back leaning against the door for a moment, letting herself register the fact that Levi had carried her dress with him. She had no idea how he’d come to Hermina or what he was really doing there except that he was a part of the Garrison now. What could have transpired to have lead him there?

She walked over to the mirror and stifled a gasp when she saw her face for herself. There was no swelling, and hardly no signs of the violence from the night before other than some yellowed bruising around her eye – but even that looked days old. It was as if she were healing faster than expected.

_But that’s it, isn’t it?_ She shook her head against the thought, not wanting to entertain it. Surely that was what Levi was looking at. He would realize her bruising and swelling were markedly less than expected. She emerged to see him sitting at a table beside a bright window. She took a seat across from him at the table.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

“You can eat first,” he said. “I’m sure you’re hungry.” He pushed a plate of bread toward her. She took a piece and nibbled at it. Honestly, she didn’t feel very hungry, and the bread tasted old, but she couldn’t think of anything else to do. He chewed on his own piece for a bit.

“The bread is stale,” he remarked.

“It is,” she responded.

“How long have you been a Titan Shifter?”

She nearly choked. She coughed at the table, trying her best not to spray crumbs everywhere. He stared across the table at her.

“I’m not a Titan Shifter.”

“Hmmm,” he said. “Then I’m sure your explanation of how you managed to get eaten right in front of me and somehow survive will be much more interesting. Also, how you have healed so quickly. You looked like shit last night.”

“Are you _angry_?” she asked, shocked.

“I’m reserving anger until I hear your explanation.”

“What right do you have to be angry?” she said, her own anger rising.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “I’m just wondering how long I’ve been _lied to._ ” She felt herself calming a bit at that. He felt betrayed. How long? He was asking himself. Since she’d come to the Survey Corps? Since the Garrison? Since they first met in the underground?

“I’ve never lied,” she said, evenly. “As far as I know, I’m not a Titan Shifter – or at least, I’ve never shifted. That day, on the field, Erwin,” she thought about him for a second, but could ask later. “I was eaten. I don’t know how long I was there, but I remember dreaming… Then I woke up and it was all dark and warm. It stunk, and I saw the bodies of our comrades floating in some… _fluid_. I realized I was inside a Titan.

“I still had my gear, so I was able to cut myself out, but my blades broke during the escape. My canisters were empty. I was in a field, but I couldn’t tell where I was. I couldn’t see the walls or anything to mark where I could be. I just started walking, and I finally came to a forest. I was able to make it a good ways in, I slept in trees and tried to travel at night, but I eventually knew I was being followed. It was a small Titan, an abnormal. It followed me for a while, keeping a distance, like it was studying me. And the strangest part is, I swear, it spoke at one point.”

“What did it say?”

“ _’Wait.’_ I was trying to run, but I was tired, and thirsty, and I hadn’t eaten in… I really don’t even know how long it had been; how long it _has_ been. I still had my knife, and when it lunged at me, it bit down on my arm, but I was able to sever the spinal cord.” Her hand went to her opposite arm, as if she were still surprised it was there. “I must have passed out from blood loss, but when I woke up, my arm was back. Then I heard the caravan – the traffickers. I ran to them, thinking they could help, but…” she gave a shrug, as if she didn’t want to go into that story. “So, there’s your answer, or rather your non-answer. I don’t know. Am I Shifter? Did it happen when I was eaten, or before and I just didn’t know?”

“But you’ve been hurt before,” Levi said, as if assuring himself. “You didn’t heal abnormally then. It must be from when you were eaten.”

“Yes, you are right.” They would agree on that. “So… How long has it been?”

He shifted uncomfortable this time. “I’m not really sure exactly, either. Maybe around 3 weeks. I have been here for 3 – no, 4 – days now. Erwin forced my transfer.” He drank from his teacup, and Sloan did not press him for any more questions regarding how he came there. Those questions would be answered in time, she knew. He was too stubborn to be forced. But there was one question she would ask.

“So when was the last time _you_ ate?”

He stood up abruptly. “I’m going to go pick up some things. There’s nothing to eat here.”

“Should I come as well?” Sloan stood up.

“No, I don’t think that is a good idea. What if someone recognizes you? Pixis comes snooping around from time to time. You need to stay here and be quiet. You were already released as missing in action, presumed dead. It will cause an uproar when people realize you’re alive and well enough, apparently.”

Sloan sat back down. “Okay… that makes enough sense for now. But we’ll need to tell someone eventually. I can’t stay locked in here forever.”

“Just let things die down for a bit,” he said as he pulled a black jacket on over his white button up and black slacks. The fabric hung loosely on him.

“It’s been weeks! How will you explain that I’m alive if we keep it a secret for a while? Won’t that make things worse?”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Fine, fine,” she said, wringing her hands. “I just don’t want to live my life in a cage.”

He shifted his weight awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. They hadn’t been on the best terms before she’d been eaten. In one way, whether he had acknowledged it or not, he’d always through he’d have more time; she would always be there. He’d taken it for granted that the relationship could always be salvaged. They’d find their way back to one another in the end.

But after everything had transpired… How did he react to her now? Go back to being cold and distant? Keep her at arm’s length? Would she accept him after the way he’d treated her before? Would it be too much to crush her to his chest? To open the vault of despair he’d been wallowing in and let her fill him with her light? How would she respond to him after everything they’d been through?

He crossed the room to her and took her hands in his. “I know.” He studied her face for a bit, as if asking for permission before he kissed her softly on the cheek. “Just be still for a bit.” He released her hands and started for the door.

“Pick up flour,” she called after him. “And sugar, and salt.”

He closed the door on her requests and felt a small smile creep across his face for the first time in weeks. It was a strange situation, and he felt himself seeking validation that it was real. He’d been in agony for the last few weeks, and was on his way to drinking himself to death. How could he be delivered from the misery in such a sweet way? It was like being handed a second chance. That house had seemed like a hell to him at first. Cold and empty, he felt it would surely become his tomb. He just hadn’t figured out which ceiling plank to hang himself from…

And what if he’d done it just one day sooner? He would have ended it too soon to be in that alley way, to stop those men… He clenched and unclenched his fists thinking of the unfinished business involving the remaining one of them.

* * *

Sloan swept. She opened cabinets and dusted them out. She straightened the bed. She kicked some things under the bed. She wasn’t the best cleaner, - really, she was probably a slob by most standards, - but she really wasn’t sure what to do with herself. The house was not “dirty,” what with only one person living there for a few days, but she had to do something with herself. She opened that trunk that Levi had pulled her dress from and found her hair brush – the first brush she’d seen in weeks. She also found a pair of her boots and her own scout’s uniform with cape and jacket, folded and stacked neatly under Levi’s own. She pulled out the clothing and began hanging them and placing them neatly inside the armoire in the bedroom, hanging her cape and uniform side by side with Levi’s. It was such a strange juxtaposition to how she’d felt just a year ago. It was as if her story had come full circle, life with Levi sandwiched parts of her life that didn’t seem to matter anymore. She let her hand grab onto the soft fabric of his cape and thought back to her teenage self, the self that saw a similar, yet still very different, future as the one she was in now. Well, the part about her clothes and Levi’s hanging neatly side by side in a closet, his shoes tucked in next to her, their home tidy and warm. She admitted the journey was much stranger than she’d imagined, and parts had changed. Her mind drifted to two warm bundles that she’d left behind in time…

She heard the doorknob turning and rushed out to the main room to see Levi coming through the door carrying a sack. He placed the sack on the counter and began to remove his jacket as Sloan began pulling things out and placing them inside the cupboards.

“I hope I bought everything we need,” he said.

“I don’t guess you’ve done much shopping for yourself, then?” Sal said and smirked at him.

“No. I admit, most of my meals over the last 15 years have been prepared by the kitchen staff at the Corps.”

“Spoiled,” she teased. “It looks like you got everything we may need, though. You did well.”

He watched her taking stock of everything he’d brought her, keeping his face even but feeling his chest swell with pride as she complimented him.

_Yes, see what I’ve brought you,_ he wanted his actions to say. _I am a provider. You ask and I give._

“Would you like to help me make some bread?”

So, they began mixing some ingredients. Flour, yeast, salt, sugar. She splashed water into the mix until she saw the right consistency, then began to knead.

“The trick is to keep smooth motions.” He watched her as the palms of her hands pushed the bread down and outward. She then folded the bread back and started again. “Would you like to try?” She stepped back and motioned for him to take over. He was a fast learner. Within a few strokes he was kneading the bread as well as she could, only with years less practice. He was gentle with the dough, applying steady, even pressure through the motions. She’d never imagined baking to be an arousing activity, but as she watched the rhythm with which his hands moved, and saw the way the muscles and tendons moved in his hands and forearms, she found her mind drifting to other things.

“How long should we go?” he asked, breaking her train of thought. For a second she was confused by the question, caught between her thoughts and his actions.

“That should be good,” she said as she took over and rolled the dough into a ball. She laid a clean cloth over it before rinsing the flour from her hands. “Now we just wait a bit for the dough to rise and then we can bake it.”

Levi dusted his hands off on a dish cloth. They stood staring at each other for a bit.

“So, how was your day?” she asked. It felt so…forced. Domestic.

Instead of answering he grabbed her neck and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. It was the first real kiss he’d spared her since she’d seen him – minus the quick kisses he’d given her on the cheek or chaste brushes on her lips. She felt his muscles tensing beneath his shirt when her hands found their way to his back, felt his hands traveling up her own sides. His lips parted, just a quick tease of his tongue against hers as he pulled her closer, his body pressing against hers. She felt herself melt into him, longing for this connection after feeling as though his blame was all on her.

“Tell me if this is too much,” he said. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“I didn’t lie to you,” she said as she pulled back ever so slightly, needing him to acknowledge that she was telling him the truth, that she would never lie to him about something so important, would never trick him or betray him.

“I believe you,” he replied. Sloan couldn’t tell if he were telling the truth or not. She’d decided if his time in the underground hadn’t turned him into a master liar, then living in the survey corps surely had. Or maybe, given the current situation, he really didn’t care whether she were lying or not. He kissed her again, deeper this time, his hands roaming through her red waves, crushing fistfuls at a time, but not enough to pull or hurt. Before she knew it, he had pushed her into the bedroom.

She pulled back to look at him.

“Is everything OK?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’m safe with you.”

He pulled her green dress over her head, and she felt the chill hit her skin, puckering her nipples. He replaced the clothing with himself, as if he tried hard enough she could wear him like a coat or sweater. Her hands found their way to the buttons on his shirt and she fumbled with them, before snatching it apart at the front.

“I liked that shirt,” he growled before picking her up under the knees and tossing her back on the bed.

She lay there, sprawled across the bed with only her panties on. She didn’t even think to hide herself from him, and instead propped herself onto her elbows, taking in the sight of him.

He knew there was some lacking in the time he’d thought her dead. He hadn’t really studied a mirror, but he knew he’d lost some muscle. He could see the way his hip bones stuck out more whenever he tightened his belt two or more holes more than he had in the past. His arms certainly felt smaller, his legs a bit unsure, like a newborn colt’s. But though he’d lost the weight, the past two days his body had felt a strength return, one that he thought had died with her.

He was hoping his body was still worth using as he saw a glint in her eye. As if she were recognizing his difference, but hoping to have him all the same. As if _she_ were asking _him_ for permission, hoping that _he_ would see something in _her_ that was worth having. He fell on top of her, as if she were the food he hadn’t eaten in the last weeks, nibbling and tasting at her mouth, her ears, her neck, her nipples. He cupped her breasts in his palms as her hands grabbed and caressed at him, traveling lower and lower until they plunged into the front of his slacks. He shook his head against the sudden dizziness from all the blood rushing lower.

“Looks like all your weight may have travelled elsewhere, Captain,” she murmured in his ear as her hands stroked at his engorged member. She pulled her hands out long enough to attempt to fumble at his buckle, but he swatted her hands away, instead pulling off her panties and tossing them over his shoulder. He dropped to his knees at the bedside and pulled her hips to the end of the bed, using strength she thought he may have lost. He touched her gently, taking time to acknowledge her soft, red curls, before stroking lightly at her glistening opening. He lowered his head to her, lapping at her swollen clit, while using two fingers to part and enter her. Levi fell into a rhythm between her legs, his fingers rocking in and out of her while his tongue tickled her nub.

Sloan’s hands travelled to his head, grasping at him as she tried not to buck too hard against him. She pulled the tie out of his hair, the dark curtains falling forward, so she could rake her hands thoroughly through his strands. She was trying her best to ignore what he was doing, because as heavenly as it was, she could feel herself getting closer and closer to release. Finally, not being able to handle anymore, she grabbed a handful of his hair and used it to pull him off her, pulling him closer and giving him a deep kiss, tasting her own juices on his mouth. He stood up and finished unbuttoning his pants, letting them fall to the floor and stepping out of them. She had a moment to admire his tool, jutting out from his thin frame, looking even larger and fuller by contrast. She knew it would fit, from past experiences, but it was still quite an impressive sight. She began to scamper back on the bed as he advanced on her, crawling up between her legs. His lips found hers again, and she tenderly touched his neck and shoulders as he stroked his member against her slit. He began to play there, gently pressing in, but withdrawing just after pushing the head in. He continued this as his fingers found their way back down to her clit, beginning an exhausting pattern.

Knowing a release was coming too soon, Sloan flipped them both over, rotating Levi underneath her, catching him off guard. She wasted no time in slamming down on his hard cock, allowing him to be swallowed up inside her. They both let out moans, his sounding more like pain.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, concern on her face. In response, his hands went to her hips. He pressed her hips down as he pushed into her more, going even deeper. Their hips began to move then, her rocking forward, almost coming off him before rocking back down, his hips meeting her with each movement. She rested her head beside his, wrapping her arms around his neck while they moved together, his hands still on her hips to urge her forward or back, keeping them in time.

His hand found her clit again, and began caressing. It only took a few strokes of that before she was screaming, her release cascading over her. Just as she came, he flipped her over onto her back and began an assault of hips, swinging into her smoothly, pumping into her for his own release as she continued riding the waves. His shoulders bunched over her as he worked, his face and neck tight as his tension built. She scratched and clawed at his back, leaving deep marks in his flesh. Finally, she felt the quiver in his belly and hips as he gave the final, deepest thrusts. She could feel the warm wetness jet into her, filling her.

He sat back on the bed, leaving a trail of his cum from between her legs to the bed. He was horrified, looking at the glistening, wet evidence of his release between her legs. After everything they’d been through, the trauma, the loss, the emotions. It was wrong for him to finish inside her like that, leaving behind a seed that could lead to… he felt bile rising up in his throat. He was so selfish. He should have stopped himself. A thought of her again, smiling; pregnant, swollen belly, her hands cupping at it, protecting it. Then the image morphed into the scene of that day again. Pregnant, happy Sal, only to be picked up by a giant Titan and swallowed in one gulp. He shook his head against the images and saw her face laid back against the pillows. A face radiant with love and affection, glowing and rosy from the love making. He didn’t know what she saw in his own, but her own expression shattered, replaced by one of concern and worry. She sat straight up.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be so rough. I guess I just lost control for a minute.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head again, trying to clear his mind. “I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just remembered something. I’m sorry.”

“Can we lay here for a minute, then?” she gave him a gentle smile. He began to lay back beside her, guarding his facial expressions. He didn’t want her to think it was her fault. He didn’t know how he could let himself get so carried away. Sloan was the only woman he’d ever come to completion with like that. He’d always been so, so careful, not wanting to contribute to a child that would grow up like he had: fatherless, filthy, violent, living in squalor. As he began to drift off, visions of warm bundles of “joy” danced through his head, cradled by an affectionate Sloan. But there was one thing he knew:

He couldn’t be a father.


	20. Chapter 20

Cassie’s horse followed just a few paces behind Erwin’s. Their small party of just the three of them – Erwin, Cassie, and Hange – had made quick time in travelling to the town where Captain Ackerman was stationed in the Garrison. They would meet Commander Pixis and he would escort them to the lodging the military had provided for the Captain. They would wait for Levi there until he was relieved for the day. They had ridden straight through the night; it wasn’t hard to stay awake with Squad Leader Hange’s constant chatter, though she did seem a bit more somber than usual. Erwin didn’t seem to be tiring, but he was working with a newfound energy at the thought of seeing what had become of his Captain – even if what they found was disturbing.

They met Pixis at the headquarters just after lunch and walked up to his office.

“Please have a seat,” Pixis said as he motioned to the chairs in his office. “You must have travelled through the night to make it here in such fast time. Have some ale and crackers, at the least.”

“Thank you, but I am anxious to see Levi,” Erwin admitted. “When did you see him last?”

“Just yesterday. He seemed to be doing very well. I stopped by because he hadn’t reported that morning, and given his recent state I was concerned, half expecting to find him, well… You know.”

Erwin’s eyes seemed to darken for a moment.

“But you said he was fine, Commander?” Hange interjected.

“Yes, his color was looking much better.” Pixis took a long drink from his flask. “To tell you the truth, I believe there was a woman in the back.”

“A woman?”

“It is just a hunch, but he wouldn’t let me in; barely even opened the door for me.”

Erwin shook his head. “I don’t understand that. Surely it couldn’t be true. I didn’t understand the complexities of him and Sloan, but with his reaction to her death… No, it seems unusual.”

“Yes, well,” Pixis’ head dropped a bit at the mention of Sloan’s name. “I suppose the arms of a woman can cure many things.

“Molly, would you mind sending word to Captain Levi to meet us at his lodge whenever he can. I have some visitors for him. Tell him not to worry, we’ll let ourselves in and wait.”

* * *

Sloan knew she shouldn’t leave the house. Levi had told her that morning as they laid in bed together. He’d held her close, her back pressed to his front, as he let his hand dance across her skin, leaving bumps until his hands came to rest at the dip of her waist.

_Pixis is a sneaky bastard,_ he’d said. _When he came by yesterday he knew something was different here. I don’t want anyone to see you right now. It would just confuse everyone._

He’d gotten himself ready and they ate a piece of bread and drank tea before he left for his post. He gave her three quick pecks on the lips before he grabbed his tan jacket and walked out the door. It all felt so domestic. She wondered if she could learn to live like that; sharing a bed and making love night after night, waking up and eating some breakfast while they got ready for the day. Going about their separate day ventures, then meeting back that evening for dinner. Repeat. Maybe some days she’d pack him a lunch. Some days they could just spend all day together, lying in bed tangled in each other, then milling around the house or town without a rush.

It would certainly be very different than their time in the military. Could they adjust to a more leisurely life, one free from the adrenaline, from the risk of death?

Did she want to?

She had spent some time pondering over his expression from the night before. He looked terrified and ill mixed together, like he could be sick at any moment. It horrified her – was she the reason he was about to vomit? She’d never seen a man make such a face following sex. He’d laid back down with her, assured her it wasn’t anything she’d done. Maybe it was all too much for him, she figured. Over the last few weeks they’d both been through so much. He’d asked her several times if they needed to slow down or stop. She was assuming it was because of her ordeal, that he’d wanted to be sensitive to the fact that she’d nearly been sexually assaulted. But maybe it was more for himself.

Things had been moving so quickly lately, she’d been distracted from reliving the details of that night. She could remember briefly registering that it may be the end for her there – after all she’d been through, to be murdered by some cowardly trash in an alley way. What kind of a man would hit someone with bound hands? At least let her free so she could fight back. And while the thought of his member being in her mouth made her want to vomit, she didn’t regret the end result.

Nothing cut a man deeper than losing his little friend. The thought of him living the rest of his life emasculated almost made her smile.

After spending some time moping around the house, she pulled her green dress from the armoire and tugged on her only pair of brown boots. No, no one would even notice her.

_I don’t want anyone to see you._ But for how long? She couldn’t stay inside forever. Maybe just until everyone forgot about her? But with everyone thinking she was dead, even if they did see her, no one would think it was actually her; they would just think it was a trick of the light or a similar looking woman.

She pulled her cape down as well, turning it inside out so the Wings of Freedom was to her back, the emblem hidden from view. She pulled the hood over her head and walked out the front door.

She spent some time wandering around town. She looked in the shop windows, walked around the livestock pens, and made her way through the market. No one even gave her a second glance. She was still growing bored, however, and knew she couldn’t live like this. She turned around and began the walk back to the house. She wasn’t a great housewife – Levi could definitely out clean her, and she would get bored without something to occupy her time. She would need to get a job, something to keep her busy during the day. She could bake bread; maybe she could open a bread shop. Levi could sell tea there as well. He would enjoy that.

She was nearly back to the house, deep in thought and barely seeing what was in front of her, when she looked up and locked eyes with Erwin Smith, not 20 yards in front of her and standing in front of the house with Pixis, Hange, and a woman Sloan didn’t recognize.

He stared at her for what felt like ages, though it must have only been a few moments, before she turned and tried to quickly walk away, hoping the hood of her cape hid her face. 

“Wait!” she heard him yell after her. She broke into a run. She was hoping if she’d just played calm he could be tricked into thinking she was someone else. She was supposedly dead, after all. But running away – that would surely raise suspicion. Erwin Smith couldn’t be tricked that easily.

The pitter patter of feet was close behind as she turned down a back alley, praying it didn’t lead to a dead end. With it being her first time out of the house, she didn’t really know where she should go. The only thing she had going for her was they didn’t have any 3D gear on, she thought to herself.

She turned a corner quickly, kicking rocks as she looked behind her to see the unfamiliar woman and Hange giving chase and quickly gaining on her. She heard the click and swish of 3D gear overhead and her heart dropped. Two Garrison soldiers dropped down in front of her, blocking her path. She slowed to a halt.

“Thanks for your help, boys!” Hange said from behind her. Sloan heard the rocks crunching under her feet as she approached. “Let’s see who thought it was a good idea to run from the Regiment like that.” She put her hand on Sloan’s shoulder and turned her around.

“Sloan?!” Hange said in disbelief. “No, that can’t be right. You have an uncanny resemblance to someone I used to know. Very uncanny. In fact, I’d say you could pass for twins…”

Sloan wasn’t sure what she should say. Could she possibly still fool Hange into thinking she was someone else? Or should she just come clean? Before she could decide, Pixis and Erwin rounded the corner and Pixis walked straight up to her. She knew then that she had been found out. He touched her cloak and flipped it over, revealing the wings of freedom underneath.

“Well, it seems that one of our Captains has been resurrected, Commander,” Pixis said sharply as he studied her face, examining all the nuances that she knew he would recognize, validating her identity. He was standing still as stone as he took in the look of her, a look of betrayal on his face.

“And Levi?” It was the first thing Erwin had said. “Have you seen him?”

Sloan nodded her head, feeling slightly nauseous.

“How long?” Sloan felt the anger shift in his voice. “How long have we been lied to?”

“No, no, no,” Sloan said, understanding how they must feel, how Levi must have felt. “Levi’s only known I was still alive for three days. It’s a complicated story.”

They all looked at her with a mix of apprehension and anger.

“Please don’t be mad at me. I was eaten by a Titan and fought my way out. Then I was captured by prostitute traffickers. I was about to be murdered when Levi found me. I haven’t lied to anyone! These past few weeks have been a nightmare.”

“Why wouldn’t Levi have told me?” Pixis asked. “I just saw him the other day.”

“He wanted to find the right way. I think he was trying to understand for himself first. He was angry with me. He thought I’d lied as well.” They all studied her for a long moment.

“Let’s go back to the house and sit down and sort all of this out,” Pixis said. “Officers, I don’t believe your services are needed anymore. Thank you.” And with that, the two Garrison troops flew off on their gear.

Sloan walked in silence, following behind Erwin and Pixis. Hange and the other woman walked a few paces behind Sloan, as if they were worried she may try to escape.

They walked up to the house and Pixis opened the door to let them in.

* * *

_So, this is Captain Sloan,_ Cassie thought as she settled into the seat across from her at the table. She was a striking woman, with brilliant blue eyes and clear, milky skin. Copper red, wavy hair brushed her shoulders, glistening in the diminishing daylight. Her cheekbones were high, her jaw defined, accentuating the delicate bones of her neck, the skin of which was marred by a single horizontal scar. Cassie had often wondered when she’d come to help with Captain Levi, humanity’s strongest soldier, what sort of woman could drive a man into such a madness. She was beginning to get a peek of what that meant.

The Captain looked like a different person from when Cassie had last seen him, though it was only 5 or 6 days ago. He was gaining weight and his bones didn’t seem as pronounced. The dark circles under his eyes had nearly faded. His walk was steady, more assured, though his mood seemed very sour, unwelcoming, and almost standoffish. When he arrived he took a seat beside Sloan at the table. She couldn’t read anything on his expression, though Captain Sloan seemed to react to a message hidden in his face. Pixis and Erwin took the remaining chairs, leaving Hange and Cassie to stand.

“This was really not what I was expecting to find when I made the decision to come to visit,” Erwin started. “Tell me everything.”

So, Sloan did. She started from the last thing she could remember before being eaten – the battlefield. Her eyes hovered over Erwin’s limp jacket sleeve when she started with the details of remembering him being gnawed on by the Titan, how she’d stopped and refused orders to continue, and seeing the shadow hovering over her. The next thing she remembered, she recounted, was awakening in the stomach of the Titan, and she’d then been able to cut herself out, though her blades were broken in the process. She told them how she’d found safety for a time in the forest, hiding in the trees and moving at night, and how eventually she’d encountered the strange acting Titan. Her hand rubbed absentmindedly at her arm when she explained how she thought that would be it, how she believed she would die there in the forest, eaten piece by piece by a Titan that would have otherwise been a shrimp to defeat, had she had her gear. She told him how she’d managed to slice through its neck enough to dispatch it, but she’d passed out in the process. When she awoke her arm was completely healed. She then had run headfirst into the hands of traffickers, thinking they could help her. She was carried back inside the walls and was on her way to being sold when she tried to attack her captors instead. When she was sure they were going to kill her in a dark alley, Levi found her.

Cassie watched as the story was told, her face going back and forth between those at the table. Captain Sloan’s face was expressive at times, almost as if the memories were causing her physical pain. Captain Levi watched her carefully with every word, as if he were memorizing each feature, how her lips moved to form each different word, like he was searing it into his mind. Pixis and Commander watched carefully as well, though their faces didn’t betray much.

“Well, Captain, it certainly seems like you’ve been through quite an ordeal,” Erwin said. “Arguably, all of this could have been avoided had you not disobeyed orders from your commanding officer to advance and leave me behind. Insubordination dictates discipline…”

“Erwin, you can’t be serious,” Levi cut him off.

“And you,” Commander Erwin turned his attention to his Captain. “You two stated Sloan had been here for three days now. When were you planning to send word to the rest of us?”

“We were waiting for the right time. Honestly, I still wasn’t sure that I was fully alive, that this wasn’t some sort of purgatory – or even hell when those traffickers found me.”

Levi shrugged. “I was still processing. I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. It feels like the last weeks have been a long, dark dream.”

Erwin studied both of them carefully. “You two seem alive and well enough to me,” Erwin said dryly. He sighed before dropping his harsh exterior. “I am trying to stay angry, but I am also relieved. When I came here, I came half expecting to open the door and find…” he trailed off. “At the very best, a man emaciated beyond living, at the worst, a man hanging from one of these overhead beams. But not only are you alive, you seem to be improving, not just existing. I have to believe it is from Sloan’s presence.”

“In addition to copious amounts of alcohol,” Levi said.

“And Captain,” Erwin turned his attention to Sloan. “It’s always a good day for me when I can cross a name off the list of lives lost for my cause.”

“What are we to do with these soldiers at this point, Erwin?” Pixis asked as he leaned back in his chair. “After your descriptions of Levi’s antics the last time he was on a battlefield, I doubt he can be trusted for a while.”

Now it was Sloan’s turn to study Levi’s face, as if trying to discern what was meant by his “antics.”

“I have no concerns of Sloan’s capacities, however. Perhaps Levi should stay here, and Sloan should return to her post as before, in the regiment, with modified duties for a time.”

Cassie saw the smallest movement in the muscles in Captain Sloan’s forearms, as if she were about to stand, but thought differently. Captain Levi’s demeanor betrayed nothing.

“It’s getting late,” Pixis said. The sun was setting outside, casting shadows from the window. “Too late to make this decision tonight. Maybe us commanders should sleep on it and make the final decision in the morning of what to do with these two captains.”

“That may be the best course. Nothing good can come out of a rash and desperate decision. No need to hurry now that they seem to be in good health.”

“We have some space at the headquarters for you, Hange, and your sergeant medic. You can rest there for the night. Let’s go now and leave these Captains,” Pixis stood and began to walk toward the door. “I suppose there’s no point in separating them at the current time.”

Erwin and Levi stood simultaneously, with Sloan following suit.

“Time will help me collect my thoughts,” Erwin said. He made his way toward the door, Cassie following close behind. “I am discouraged that my Captains would hide something from me, however, I cannot describe my relief at seeing you both alive and well.” With that, he saluted with his left hand and left.

* * *

Levi closed the door behind them.

They turned to look at each other and began a slow walk around one another.

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t just stay inside. For one day.”

“How was I supposed to know Erwin and Hange would be in the city, today, of all days?”

“You couldn’t – but you knew Pixis would be. Now they’re pissed off,” Levi said. “I just wanted one more day. To process. To think about how to tell them.” _To just catch our breath together._

“I know. It was stupid. I shouldn’t have gone out.”

“Now they may separate us.”

“Surely they wouldn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” he asked dryly. “There’s no reason for them to keep us together. Even if they decided to send us both back to Scout headquarters, Erwin can increase your duties as Regiment Ambassador, send you on longer assignments, station you with the Military Police to hopefully improve relations. It’s no secret now that something’s going on between us, whatever that may be.”

“ _Whatever that may be,_ ” she scoffed. “What does that mean to you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know, Sloan. I’m still fucked up. I don’t know what’s going on right now. My mind is still trying to catch up with everything that’s happened.”

“What do you _want_ it to be?”

He grabbed the back of a chair and leaned into it, seeming to think. “I really have no idea. What is this –“ he gestured between them “- even supposed to look like?”

“What were Erwin and Pixis talking about? What happened to you after…” she didn’t finish the sentence. _After I was eaten._

He shook his head again, but this time as if clearing a memory, or maybe as if trying to bring one to the forefront. “I can’t really remember. I just lost it, I think. I became belligerent on the field. I put everyone at risk. We were still in active battle. They subdued me… I don’t know what happened after. I was brought back to the headquarters… It’s all a blur after that.”

“Erwin said you were emaciated, Levi. ‘Emaciated beyond living’ were his words. He said he was worried you’d hung yourself,” she said the last part so softly, she wasn’t sure he could even hear it. She looked him up and down. She hadn’t really been able to take in the look of him the night they’d reunited, but she’d definitely noticed he’d lost several pounds.

“I don’t know how that happened. It’s like a black hole in my memory.”

She studied him carefully before slowly nodding.

“Well, maybe I’m only speaking for myself, but the last few days have been what I’ve wanted his whole time. If this is the outcome of the cause, then I am thankful for everything that I’ve been through. But this journey – I just can’t shake the feeling that we’re supposed to stay together. Am I alone? Because if so, just tell me, and we can go our separate ways. I don’t want any part of this unless it means something. I need your validation here, Levi. I know you’re not the best at expressing your emotions, but I need some kind of confirmation that I’m not the only one feeling this way, that at any moment you won’t just snap and try to send me off somewhere again, that you won’t just ice me out again. Like before.”

He crossed the room toward her and looked into her face for several seconds before caressing her hair, letting his hand touch at her cheek. She subconsciously turned her head into his hand, closing her eyes against his warmth. The smallest smile crossed his lips, softening his face. It was true for him too. The last few days he’d felt a sense of completeness, like there was a piece of him missing that had just been found. Lying next to her at night, something inside of him relaxed and he felt at peace. It was almost as if everything was right with the world.

“I agree and I am here, fully here, or as much as I can be. I feel like this is a second chance. I can’t erase what happened before, but I can do my best to show you how I care for you from this moment forward. I can’t promise it will be easy for you, or that I’ll always know what to say or do, but you knew that already, right?” He pulled her close, her head pressing against his chest. They wrapped their arms around each other and settled into the embrace. Minutes seemed to pass, and Levi felt his breathing relax and synchronize with hers. “I was so fucked up when you died. All I could think was how much of a dick I was to deny you when you were right there in front of me.”

“Do you think they’d only separate us for a short time?” Sloan asked after what seemed like forever. “Maybe it wouldn’t be forever, just short as a type of punishment.”

They stood silently for a long beat again. Finally, she heard him inhale.

“Let’s get married.”

Sloan pulled back to look at his face. “If that was a joke, it was disgusting.”

He pulled back from her, his hands running down her arms and gently grasping her hands. “When I thought you were dead, I spent a lot of time replaying every interaction we’d ever had. Do you remember when we were kids? Not a care in the world – even though there should have been. All I really ever worried about was when you would come down those steps again, and making sure I was there to walk you through the underground. I wish we could get back to that simplicity. Now, our lives are so complicated. But, I have a second chance to be the man that I should have been, the man you deserve. I can’t say that I won’t be an asshole for a large portion of it, or that I’ll always be patient and warm and loving, but I will always – _always ­_ – put your needs and safety first. Is that something you’d be crazy enough to commit to?”

Sloan studied him for a long time before responding, examining his features and gleaning every emotion out of them.

“Let’s get married.”


	21. Chapter 21

Cassie was just finishing up changing the Commander’s dressings later that evening while he and Squad Leader Hange were wrapping up the events of the day.

“I feel like I may be on cloud nine,” Commander said, looking positively giddy, or as giddy as a highly respected, usually serious Commander could look. “I am having a hard time attempting to be mad at their omission. I know I probably _should_ consider some form of punishment, but I can’t even think about it right now. I am just imagining them back at headquarters as soon as possible.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, Erwin,” Hange said. “I know you may not remember everything quite clearly given the circumstances with your arm, but he was really out of control. If he hadn’t been neutralized in time…”

“But maybe he could come back on modified duty? He could help with trying out Eren’s Titan abilities. He shouldn’t pose much liability there. Or with training? Or we may have use for him now that we seem to be encountering more human enemies? I mean – with Minister Nick and everything – could he be trusted with that?”

The Minister Nick had seemed to have great knowledge of the Walls, Cassie remembered. Hange had been hopeful that he could shed some light on how the walls had been made of Titans. He’d never really told them anything valuable, as far as Cassie knew, but Hange had recently discovered he’d been tortured and murdered, and they suspected it had been an inside job.

“I’m more interested in something different,” Hange said as she pushed her glasses further up her nose. “Captain Sloan stated her arm regenerated after the Titan bit it off. Apparently, her injuries from her beating in the alley healed remarkably quickly as well. Could she be a Titan shifter? Did something happen when she was eaten? Is this how it happens? But no – Is that what happened to Eren? Maybe there are different ways to become a shifter?” Her fist rested on her chin for a minute before she abruptly stood. “I didn’t even get a chance to ask her what it was like!”

“’ _What it was like_?’” Erwin asked.

“Being eaten by a Titan! I wonder if it was everything she’d ever dreamt it would be… But I guess there will be more time for questions tomorrow.”

“I believe it’s settled then. I need them both back at the Regiment. We’ve sustained great losses. Our numbers are barely 40. We need everyone we can take. Levi at the least will be out of direct combat. Sloan… We will see if she needs modified duty as well.

“I think that will be all for tonight, Hange. Be packed in the morning. We will gather the Captains and head back.” With that, Hange saluted and left, closing the door softly behind her.

Cassie snipped the bandage with her scissors before using adhesives to pull the ends together to prevent it from unravelling. “The wound is nearly healed, Commander. It looks great. Next time we remove the dressing I don’t think we will need to place another.”

“It has healed so well thanks to your capable hands, Sergeant. I am very grateful for your help over the last few weeks, for myself and for what you did for Captain Levi as well. He may never acknowledge it – I’m not even sure how conscious he was – but please know that I appreciate your diligence and service.”

Cassie could feel her cheeks redden. “Thank you, Commander. It means a lot to hear you say that. Captain looks to be improving.”

“Yes, he does.” Erwin seemed to be thinking. “He and Captain Sloan have a very long and complicated history. It was my fault they were separated years ago. Them coming back together – I can’t say it won’t make things confusing or difficult, but I am happy that he can have a taste of normalcy. We don’t get that much in the Regiment. They seem to be closer now, more than before. Something just feels right about it.”

“Everyone deserves a chance at love,” she said before she could stop herself. Her cheeks were really flaming then. It seemed so taboo to speak to a commanding officer of matters of the heart, especially one as handsome, strong, and decisive as he was. She hid her face as she began putting supplies back into her bag.

“’ _Deserves’_?” She could feel his eyes studying the back of her as the word rolled around in his mouth, as if it were a foreign concept to him. She looked back at him and he shook his head slightly. “Maybe for civilians, but when I joined the military I gave up on being deserving of anything other than rank, and that was only with much effort and hard work and discipline. No, what Levi has on his side is fate. Fate, and a woman that will fight like hell.” Cassie’s chest burned from anger and she felt her eyes flash.

_I can fight like hell,_ she wanted to counter, but thought better. Why did that even come to her mind? What was she thinking? She couldn’t possibly be developing feelings for him, the Commander of the Survey Corps, a man who only knew Titans and death. The ultimate in unachievable, growing attached to him would only end in disappointment. _Does he even see_ me _? Am I just another cadet?_

“I believe that will be all that is required of me tonight, Commander,” she drew her bag over her shoulder and brushed past him. He stood and grabbed her arm.

“Sergeant,” he started, before releasing her arm, as if his hand had grabbed her of its own accord. He seemed about to say something before deciding otherwise. He saluted her instead. “Goodnight.”

* * *

_She could feel his hand tickling along her spine. He caressed and tugged at her curves. His hand rubbed her arm from behind, before tracing down her waist and hips and grabbing a handful of her ass. He pulled her into him in the bed, back to front. She pressed her back into him, snuggling into the warmth of his large body. His hand continued to travel, exploring her landscape. It rose to her breasts, cupping each one gently. She gasped as he pinched her nipples through her thin nightgown. His fingers tickled her stomach as they trailed down her front, circling her belly button before advancing further. She felt him gently stroke her soft curls before dipping into her wet center. A moan escaped her lips as she pushed her hips back toward his groin. She could feel his hard member pressing at her bottom, the gown doing nothing to conceal his length and width. She felt herself moisten more at the recognition of his size. Her body seemed to already ache in response. Yes, it would be amazing, but she would undoubtably be sore in the morning. She smiled at that thought. It had been a while, after all._

_He slid a finger between her folds, and she groaned again. He fell into a rhythm of stroking her, in and out, then caressing her outside. She draped her leg over his, giving him more access. He slid between her legs and came to rest against the inside of her thigh, heavy. She reached and stroked before wrapping her hand around him, admiring his size. Her fingers couldn’t even encircle his entire girth. He moaned into her ear as she rubbed her hand up and down. He quickened his movements then._

_“Erwin,” she whispered into the dark. “I’m so close.” He paused just long enough to reposition his tool at her opening. She withdrew her leg from where it was draped over him and leaned forward, feeling him entering her slightly. The sudden intrusion to her small opening was already stretching her deliciously. She felt her chest would burst open at any moment if he didn’t enter her. “Please,” she said and wiggled herself over him, pushing him slightly more in._

_“Cassie,” he murmured._

“Cassie!” came a booming voice from outside of her room. She jerked and sat straight up in bed. The sun was shining through her window. “Are you alright, Sergeant?” Erwin said from the other side of the door.

“Y-yes,” she stammered, willing her heartbeat to slow. “I’m awake. I’m very sorry. I must have overslept.”

“Hurry and meet downstairs. Bring your things. We will leave in 10 minutes.”

“Yes, sir!” She heard his heavy boots walking away and allowed herself to relax back. She felt a wetness between her legs. She reached down and touched herself. Her clit was swollen and wet from her unfulfilled desires. It was the most vivid dream she’d ever had, and it was just getting good when she had been so rudely awoken. The images kept flashing through her mind as she realized she was stroking herself subconsciously. It felt good to have contact with the softest parts of herself. She hadn’t been used in so long. The wetness allowed her fingers to slide gently over her engorged clit. She quickened her pace as she imaged what it had felt like when he touched her in the dream. Her fingers seemed to move on their own, and before she realized what she had done, she was biting her fist to keep herself from crying out on her orgasm. Well, it _had_ been a while, after all.

She cleaned herself up and tossed her belongings into her pack, not caring what order they went in. She pulled her clothes on and ran downstairs.

“Ready to go, Sergeant?” Erwin said as she approached him and Hange.

“Yes, sir,” she said. She felt her face and chest break out in a red rash. “Sorry for my lateness.”

“It’s alright,” he said with a slight smile. “It was nice, wasn’t it?”

“W-what?” Could he have known? Her guilt was probably obvious on her face.

“Sleeping a little later. We usually wake up so early. I must admit I overslept as well, but we should still make it back to headquarters by nightfall.”

They made their way back to the Captain’s lodging, Hange and Erwin walking in front and Cassie following behind, leaving her to stare at Erwin’s broad and shapely backside. They made their way to the home and Erwin let them in.

* * *

They’d woken up a little earlier to get all their things together. The courthouse didn’t open for a few hours, but it gave them time to collect their thoughts, as well as pack their bags. They had stopped by the local blacksmith shop to pick up two silver rings before making their way to the courthouse. Levi was worried they wouldn’t have what they would need on such short notice, but he was pleasantly surprised when he saw the matching rings. He was mesmerized by how well it fit as he slid the ring onto Sloan’s finger at the courthouse, and even more amazed when looking down at his own. The bands were thin and silver, nothing spectacular or flashy, but the significance of them was not lost on him.

He’d barely had time to ruminate over their marriage documents before he had carefully folded them up and slid them into the envelope, but he had been able to see their signatures side by side, hers in loopy, thick script, and his in thin, deliberate lines. He’d tucked the envelope inside his Regiment jacket, over his heart, before they’d made their way back home.

“What do you think they will say?” Sloan asked him as they walked together, their strides matching.

“I’m not really worried about them,” he said as he looked over at her. He wasn’t really worried about anything anymore. He had her. He could be at peace.

“Probably chastise us for making such an erratic decision.”

“I don’t think it was erratic. Do you?”

“I mean, are you going to tell me you thought we would end up married?”

He laughed then. “Maybe when we were teenagers.”

“Oh, only then?”

“Well, yea. The hopeless romantic part of me that couldn’t see my nose in front of my face. I don’t know what I was thinking back then.”

“Are you saying you regret it?”

“No…” he said thoughtfully. “I just wasn’t mature enough to see what that would have meant; what it would have looked like. I’m still not really sure.”

“But now? Did you think we’d be married when we saw each other again?”

“Never,” he said with another laugh.

“Why’s that?” her cheeks flashed red with irritation.

“Because you’re such a wild thing. Headstrong. Annoying. Rude. Messy. And you can’t take orders for shit.”

“I take orders from those higher up than me. When they make sense.” He could see the color creeping up her chest and neck, a bright red to match her hair. “I don’t have to follow orders from you, Levi Ackerman, - “

He cut her off by spinning her into him. “Maybe now that I’m your husband you’ll give me a little more respect?” He pecked her on the lips.

“Don’t count on it,” she muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for him to hear.

They continued to walk in comfortable silence for a time.

“What do you think it will be like when we’re back?” Sloan asked.

“We’ll move into the same quarters. I don’t know what either of our assignments will be. Erwin may keep me out of combat for a while. He may do the same to you. He may still decide to send you on other business. I guess we’ll just have to take whatever we get at this point.”

“Can you stand to be away from me now?” she said with a grin.

He looked her face over. “Yes,” he finally said. “I don’t want us to be apart, but I will accept it – we should both accept it. This is our lives now. I don’t expect us to never be out of each other’s sights; to always be attached at the hip. This won’t work that way. But now I have something that can tether me to this reality. You’re mine now, and I’m yours. Just knowing that, I’m fine with us having to do our separate duties or be apart for some time, because now I know we’ll have each other waiting when we make it back home.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’ve been waiting for 16 years. I’ll always wait for you.”

The house was beginning to come into view. As they drew closer, they could see the woman that had accompanied Hange and Erwin the night before standing just inside the doorway.

“I guess we won’t have long to wonder what they’ll say,” Levi remarked. They approached the house and stepped inside the threshold, the woman stepping to the side to give them space.

“Where the hell have you two been?” Erwin said, annoyance in his features.

“We had a few last-minute errands to take care of,” Levi said. “Expecting us to run in the middle of the night?”

“We didn’t realize we would be leaving so soon,” Sloan said, trying her best to smooth the tension. “We’re all packed up already. We can just grab our things and be on our way.”

“So, you just assume you’ll both be coming with us? Perhaps we’ve decided you’ll stay here with Pixis after the stunt you pulled on the field? You’re a liability now.”

“If that’s the case, I have some documents for you to look over.” Levi pulled the envelope from his jacket pocket and extracted the certificate before handing it to Erwin. Erwin’s eyes flew over the paper quickly, before going back to the top and starting again as if he were trying to process what he was reading.

“ _Certificate of Marriage?_ ” he asked incredulously. “What the hell is this?”

“Is that anyway to congratulate us?” Levi said as he held up his left hand, wiggling his digits to display the silver band wrapped around his ring finger. “Would you separate a husband and wife on their wedding night?”

Erwin shook his head. “I had no intentions of truly separating you two. There was no need to make such a hasty decision.”

“It needed to be done regardless,” Levi said as if their getting married was something to cross off a to-do list.

Hange snatched the paper from Erwin. “A WEDDING?! How exciting! There is so much to plan! A dress, and CAKE, and a ceremony-“

“Calm down, four eyes,” Levi cut her off. “We’re already married. There will be no ceremony. We took care of everything at the courthouse today. Surprisingly easy. In fact, I would highly recommend it for you if you ever find that special Titan.”

“But, but,” Hange stammered. “Sloan can’t get married in her Corps uniform. She needs a white dress with a beautiful veil and that red hair sparkling in the sun…”

“White dress? Too late for all that.”

Sloan cut a look at him as she dropped his suitcase onto the floor at his feet. “Haven’t we been through enough dramatics lately? I’m happy not to make a fuss of this, if it’s alright with everyone. I just want everything to be as boring as possible from here on out. OR, as boring as it can be in the Regiment.

“Now, I believe we all have somewhere to be going, and it will be a long ride. I don’t want to speak about this subject anymore for the rest of the day.” Sloan plucked the marriage certificate out of Hange’s hands before carefully folding it and putting it back inside the envelope. She tucked it into a pocket of Levi’s suitcase.

“Wait,” Erwin said. “I do just want to get a few things said and out in the open before this goes any further.”

“I will agree to whatever modified duty you will put me on,” Levi said.

“I’m just concerned about future _outbursts_ ,” Erwin said.

“We can settle this now,” Sloan said, looking to Levi. “We will be nothing but professional while in uniforms, and we will save our personal problems for our quarters after we are back at the station.”

“I thought that’s what you were trying before.”

“Things were different before,” Levi said with a shrug.

“I think that before we didn’t really understand our relationship the way we do now,” Sloan said after looking at Levi. “We have resolved our issues as a couple and have come to terms with how it fits into our lives as public servants.”

“Well, I suppose all of that remains to be seen,” Erwin said.

They packed their things and made their way out of the house toward where the horses were kept. They began to saddle up and strap their things onto the horses. When that was done, they mounted and began the ride out of the district.

“Erwin, will you update us on the situation? I have no idea what happened after… well, you know,” Sloan trailed off.

“Of course, I suppose you two haven’t been briefed on the situation yet,” Erwin said. “It appears that another one of Eren’s powers was revealed. During the battle with the Armored Titan he let out a scream which seemed to place a target on the Titan. This caused all of the lesser Titans to stampede the Armored Titan. We were not able to recover any pieces of the Armored Titan, or Bertholt Hoover, who was revealed to be the Colossal Titan. It is impossible to know if they were eaten by the Titans or not.

“Heavy losses were sustained by the Military Police, the Garrison, and the Regiment, however it seems that the 104th cadets were able to survive – minus Braun, Hoover, and the one, Ymir, that revealed herself as a Titan, as well.

“All the citizens of Wall Rose were evacuated into the underground when we suspected a breach. Food supplies quickly dwindled, and we realized what we would face if it really did come to an evacuation.

“We also discovered more intel on the appearance of the Titans inside the Wall, namely that they may have previously been the residents of Ragako village.”

Levi nearly yanked on the reins when he heard that. “Expand on that, Erwin.”

“One of the cadets, Connie Springer, lived in Ragako with his family before joining the corps. He went to investigate, and they found the villages seemed to be blown out from the inside. There was no human remains to be found, and the horses were still tied up in the stables. Connie approached his own home and found a large Titan lying on it that looked suspiciously like his mother. He stated it even spoke to him; said, ‘Welcome home’.”

“I’ve sliced open plenty of those bastards and never seen anything that looks remotely human,” Levi said.

“Hange is still working hard to see what else we can find out. Maybe it is too deeply ingrained to see, or something changed during whatever transformation occurred.

“There has also been a development with one of the 104th cadets. The one that went by the name Krista Lenz has revealed her true name – Historia Reiss, illegitimate daughter of Rod Reiss, who we have come to know is the true king of the walls. The sitting king is simply a fake with no ties to the royal bloodline. It’s still questionable why they chose to plant a fake and what this means for the walls. But if we play our pieces correctly, we may be able to uncover more answers than we even dreamed of.”


	22. Chapter 22

“Are you nervous about seeing everyone again?” Sloan asked as they unpacked their bags. She hung her dress in the armoire beside Levi’s white shirts. He seemed to be considering the question for a long time.

“It’s hard for me to remember everything that happened,” he finally answered. “I don’t really know what to expect. I was in a bad state, I think.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“A punch in the face,” he said, one corner of his lip twitching slightly, as if he thought it were somehow funny. “And a woman…it must have been Erwin’s aide.” His brows furrowed then. “I don’t really want to remember, actually.”

But Sloan had heard all she needed to. She was morbidly fascinated by Levi’s reaction to her death. Yes, they were married, and yes, he was her husband, but the depth of his emotions… she still did not fully understand. He wasn’t the best communicator, but she knew his actions. The state he was in when she first saw him; his image was still burned into her mind. Skeletal, dark, _broken_. And that was apparently an improvement from where he had been. What was he like? What was he at his worst?

“I think one of our bags is still downstairs. I’ll go grab it,” he said and walked out of the room as she continued unpacking. A moment later she heard the creak of the floorboards as someone walked back in.

“That was quick,” Sloan said over her shoulder. She turned around and saw Erwin’s aide standing in the doorway. She had a kind face, with soft features and warm, brown hair. “Oh, hello.”

“Hello, Captain, I just wanted to formally introduce myself,” she said. “I’m Cassie, I was a medic sent here to help Commander after his accident. I feel like I may already know you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I understand you helped Levi also during that time. I appreciate everything you did for him.”

“I was only doing my duty to serve,” she said and looked at Sloan. “Captain, if I may be very blunt with you, the state that he was in was horrendous. He was a man that had nothing left to live for, that didn’t want to live anymore. I can’t help but wonder if it would have been different, if he knew about… I mean, he has a right to know about his children.”

“His children?” Sloan felt like her mind was moving in slow motion. There were so few people that knew, she could count them on one hand. “How do you know about that?”

“Well, Commander mentioned it in my presence once, after everyone thought you were dead. He was questioning whether he should tell Levi, but he was never in the right state.”

“Erwin knows?” Her heart was thumping rapidly. The room was swirling. She leaned back against the wall to steady herself. She’d told Pixis long ago. Everyone in the military had to keep an active list of any relations they had. It was all highly confidential – but necessary in the case of the death of a soldier. She had put their names down, along with the names of the families they were with and the towns she’d carried them to. Her only living relatives, they were only to be contacted regarding her death if there were possessions to be distributed.

“It seems that now may be the right time,” Cassie said. “He has a right to know that he has children. _I_ would want to know.” The inflection in her voice caused Sloan’s head to snap up. A woman she didn’t know – a lesser ranking officer, if Sloan wanted to get technical – seemed to be passing judgement on her, on the decisions she’d made long ago with the best intentions.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Sloan asked, suddenly angry and feeling threatened. “You come into a commanding officer’s quarters, hoping to divulge secrets. You know nothing about me and Levi, couldn’t even begin to dream of what we’ve been through – what _I’ve_ been through.”

“No, no, Captain, please don’t be upse-“

“Trying to spread secrets that are really none of your business? Secrets which you only heard because you were conveniently there while the Commander was discussing a dead woman’s affairs. Get out of my sight. If you speak to me or my husband again I’ll have you relocated to the underground.”

“Please, I –“

“What’s going on?” Levi asked as he stepped into the doorway, suitcase in hand.

“Erwin’s aide was just leaving,” Sloan said, as the woman looked like she may crumble at any moment. She turned, and Levi stepped out of the way as she left. He carried the suitcase into the room.

Sloan walked to the door and slammed it shut, rattling the room. She walked across the room and turned her back to Levi, placing her palms down on the desktop. She let out a shaky breath. _He still doesn’t know_. It figured they would have begun talking about those things after her death. Since she’d told Pixis long ago, it made sense he would have gotten the word to Erwin to tell Levi. It seemed Erwin had never thought it was the appropriate time. Levi had been grieving too much. To then learn about a past that he didn’t know he had, he would have questioned everything and blamed himself even more. She felt hot, angry tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn’t know when would be the right time to tell him – maybe never if it were up to her – but she was especially frustrated that now she felt like she had to. Too many people knew, and it was only a matter of time before it got to him somehow. He knew something was up, there was no way around it. She turned around to face him, brushing the tears away with a hand that shook from anger.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyes concerned with a hint of suspicion.

“I have something to tell you, but I don’t know how to say it.”

He was watching her carefully, but didn’t say a word.

“Several people already know, they were talking about telling you at some point after I’d died, but couldn’t find the right time. I don’t know if now is the right time, either, but I would rather you hear it from me than from someone else.” She took a few breaths in and exhaled. He was standing in front of her, his stance defensive, waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if he were trying to decide whether he should fight or run.

“Is this about another man?” he asked carefully, each word delivered with the precision she’d come to expect from him.

“No, absolutely not,” she said.

“Then just say it.”

“We have children,” she blurted out. An expanse of silence grew between them. His brows furrowed, an array of questions playing across his face. “It was years ago. I guess close to 16 years now. Right before you disappeared. I didn’t even have a chance to tell you… You know, it’s really not such a big deal…”

“Just stop,” he said. The silence was almost unbearable as they stood across from each other, an ocean of stillness between them. His hands were clenching and unclenching, as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. His stance was no longer as if he were preparing for attack, but he looked similar to that of a wild animal, so still as if to camouflage into the background, but also ready to run at any moment. “Why now?” his voice was so quiet, Sloan wasn’t sure she’d heard him speak at all at first.

“They were listed as my only living relatives in my paperwork, and I’d told Pixis before as well. I guess after I died, Pixis told Erwin. I’m sure he was planning to tell you, he just couldn’t find the right time. His aide overheard him talking to someone about it. She mentioned it to me tonight. I don’t know who else knows. I wanted you to hear it from me, in case it spreads.”

He looked at her, like he was trying to commit something to memory.

“I don’t like when you look at me like that,” she said. It was unsettling. Something about his gaze when he looked at her that way made her think something bad may happen. Why would he need to memorize her face when they were together now?

Without a word he walked to the armoire and slowly took out his jacket, pulling it on one arm at a time. He turned and began to walk out of the room.

“Levi,” Sloan said, lunging for his arm, trying to grab his hand. He turned away from her, not violently, but enough to keep from contacting.

“Don’t follow me,” he said before turning and walking quickly out of the room. She heard his boots on the stairs as he left and heard the front door open and close behind him.

* * *

The night chill was nothing on Levi’s heated skin. He’d pulled the jacket on out of habit, but he had no idea where the night may take him so it was a welcome addition.

He walked to the stables and grabbed a saddle before placing it on his horse. He tightened the belts quickly, worried Sloan may decide to follow him out after all. _Is that what I want?_ He wondered to himself. Did he want to scream and yell? To fight with her like before? Did they need regression or progression? They could fight, but he really wanted to get away, to run away. Even to himself it seemed stupid, and really the revelation of having children changed nothing on the surface. They were still technically childless. Wherever they were, the children weren’t theirs. _Children._ In excess of one _child,_ singular. How had she concealed it from him? How many times had she been pregnant? Was it twins? Triplets? Was it a whole litter? He shook his head. He knew nothing about children other than how to make them. He hadn’t even thought to ask where they were, genders, names, anything really.

He mounted the horse and dug his heels in, urging the horse at break-neck speeds into the darkness. _They’re better off without you fucking them up,_ he thought to himself. _She made sure they would have a good life._ He knew he could count on that. She would have spent time, found them a good home. Even as a child and teenager Sloan was always responsible, dependable, but so naïve. She was always so impressionable. That was probably how he’d managed to have sex with her in the first place. She was so sweet and innocent, with her red hair and sun kissed cheeks. Her skin was always so warm and soft. He could always taste the sun when he kissed her, even deep in the underground. There was no reason she should have ever ended up in the … state he left her in. _Dumb motherfucker. You put her through that. Made her do that alone, still doing it to her. You’ll always be underground scum._

He shook his head against those thoughts. There was always a war inside, but he thought of her face. Was his mind playing games on him or did her face always light up when he looked at her? He remembered the look on her face when he put the silver band around her finger, when she returned the favor. She was beaming. When he remembered her face, the devil on his shoulder always turned into a puff of smoke, overshadowed by the glowing essence of _her_. His years in the underground had conditioned him to think and feel about himself in a certain way. He’d always been confident in his abilities, intelligent and quick thinking, cocky at times, but he’d always had thoughts in the back of his mind. _You’ll die down here like the shit you are. Nothing can get you far enough away to escape. Just some underground thug, worthless, definitely not worthy of a beautiful, kind, soft woman._

He slowed the horse and looked up at the night sky, remembering her face when she’d told him. She was so scared, apprehensive. She knew he’d react badly. Obviously, otherwise she would have told him earlier. She knew _him,_ better even than he knew himself at times. He didn’t want to meet those low expectations, he wanted to exceed her expectations. Looking up at the sky, he wondered what they looked like. He hoped they would have her red hair and bright eyes. Baby girls maybe? His heart quivered at the thought, almost like it may have melted a bit. Sweet babies with her bright eyes and chubby, round cheeks. He felt something wet touch his cheek and he brushed at it. Was he _crying_?

He laughed out loud then, and the horse shook its head against him, as if it were surprised by the sound. All around him, he could see where the ground met the horizon, the grass touched the stars. The silence was perfect, with only the breeze of the wind and crickets chirping. Hadn’t this been what he’d dreamt of when he was in the underground?

_Don’t fuck this up._

He turned the horse around and nudged it forward.

* * *

Erwin walked Sloan down the stairs to the room where everyone was waiting. He’d found her in the room earlier. She explained what had happened with Cassie, and how she’d attempted to tell Levi about their children. She didn’t cry. She just calmly explained. She bristled when she spoke of Cassie, but Erwin didn’t seem to agree with her.

“Do you think it could have been a misunderstanding?” he’d asked her.

“I felt very threatened, almost blackmailed.”

“Why? There’s no reason to feel that way.”

“Are you defending her?”

“Cassie has been very kind and professional to myself and to Levi when he was here. Maybe she felt a bond with him and wanted to help.”

“That’s not her place,” Sloan snapped. “She wipes his ass a few times and thinks it means something? She knows nothing about him. Case in point, his reaction. What would have happened if someone else had told him?”

“He probably wouldn’t have run away, for one.”

“This discussion is over.” Her words were clipped, and she should probably get in trouble for insubordination, but she didn’t care.

They opened the door and Sloan sat at the head of the table, where Levi would have sat otherwise. “I will lead this table in Captain Levi’s absence. Please give me any pertinent updates from my time out.” Everyone studied her quietly for a moment.

“You have been briefed on Ragako?” one of the cadets asked.

“Yes, Commander has told me about that and the idea that those civilians were somehow turned into Titans. Do we have any idea of how this could have happened?”

“No, Captain. But I’m sure that one of the Titans must have been my mother…” One of them, Connie Springer, said.

“My condolences, Connie, was it? Perhaps if we find out how they were turned in the first place, we can find a way to restore them. Hange?”

“What? Oh, I haven’t found anything to suggest anything yet.”

“OK, well, keep searching. What else do we have?”

“I have an idea that we can seal the hole in the wall,” Armin said. “The walls already seem to be made of hardened Titans. We saw that when parts of the wall collapsed. The female Titan and the Armored Titan were able to harden parts of themselves. It stands to reason that Eren may be able to complete this.”

The door opened then and Levi walked in carrying a brisk cool from outdoors. He took the empty seat beside Sloan. Everyone watched him quietly for a moment before Sloan realized this was the first time the soldiers had seen her or Levi since their return. It seemed strange to start into business so suddenly, but perhaps it was best. Their story was not one for prying eyes. Maybe in time it could be discussed, but there were more important issues at hand.

“I’m not sure if all Titans can harden or not. Maybe Eren can’t, but I think it’s worth a try. If Eren can plug the hole we can retake Wall Maria.”

“What do you think, Eren?” Sloan asked.

“I can give it a try,” he said.

“Hange, you can decide where we can try this experiment,” Levi said, his voice cutting through the room, decisive.

“Oh, right,” she said, as if being started awake. “The Garrison is preoccupied with patrolling the wall, leaving the cities to fend for themselves. Order is becoming harder to maintain. We need to take back the wall as soon as possible to make everyone feel safe. But… I still think we need to do this cautiously… Maybe just lay low for a while.”

Everyone looked around the table as if she’d sprouted another head.

“Hange, we have to start testing Eren’s abilities,” Sloan said. “Securing the walls is our top priority. If there’s a way Eren can fix the walls…”

“What’s the problem? Usually you’re all gung ho for testing Titans,” Levi added.

“Minister Nick, one of the Wallists that was helping us was murdered, and I’m sure the military police did it. They made it look like a robbery gone wrong, but I saw him… His fingernails had been pulled off. Someone had tortured him, trying to get information. His face was badly beaten. It was more than just a robbery. The Military Police Brigade Interior First Squad… that was the group that was supposedly investigating. Djel Sannes was his name. I saw his knuckles. I’m sure he helped torture Nick for information.”

“Interior First Squad? Do you know anything about them?” Levi asked Sloan.

“Yes, I am very familiar with them. Not Djel Sannes specifically, I don’t recall that name. The First Squad is above the Military Police. No one has official control over them, they have their own agendas and work separately from the Military Police. They are all highly trained and disciplined. They’re not like the Military Police, who are lazy and may have once been great but have let their skills fall by the wayside.”

“Why don’t we know much about them?” Erwin asked.

“Their main goal is to maintain order in the walls, but they do that by conspiring against people that they feel may be threats to the crown. They’re pretty secretive and get most of their orders directly from the king’s advisors. They work mostly in the capitol. They are not trained to fight Titans, but to fight other people,” Sloan said. Levi gave her a sideways glance. “I was trained in the First Squad before I transferred to the Garrison.”

“I’m sure the First Squad is ultimately to blame. When they learned we were trying to get information from Nick, I was sure they would send someone, but I had no idea they would send MPs to do it. I wasn’t expecting that. So, it is my fault.”

“So, how many of his nails were pulled off?” Levi asked darkly.

“What?”

“How many of his nails were pulled off?” he repeated.

“A-all of them, I think. That I could see.”

“Hmm, well, looks like for being a wallist he was a tough bastard. If you’re going to talk, you talk after one. So what were we able to learn from Nick before his untimely demise?”

“There is some sort of connection between the Reiss family and the church, and the Reiss family is being watched, including Historia, our own here.”

Historia – the girl Sloan knew as Krista – explained that she was the illegitimate child of Rod Reiss, head of the Reiss family. She was going to be killed by the Interior Squad several years ago, when Rod arrived and stopped them. She was sent to a farm and given a new name, and told never to reveal her true identity.

“We still don’t know what all of this means, but there are several pieces beginning to come together on this puzzle.”

“Hange, I know this thing with Nick has you shaken up, but now is not the time to step back. Instead, we should push forward. Timing is more important than ever. We must make progress in the coming days. We can’t just sit waiting for the MPs to come for us. We knew they would be looking for Eren eventually, now they’re after Historia as well, it seems,” Levi said.

“So, in the coming days, we really need to push things, Eren,” Sloan said. “Let’s see what his Titan can do for us in sealing the wall.”

“If that is all, I believe this would be a good place to stop for the night,” Erwin said, wrapping the meeting up. “Let’s all take a night to sleep on it, and tomorrow we will start our work.”

Everyone stood and began to file out of the room except Sloan and Levi. No one stopped to say anything to them, to mention their absence or welcome them back, as if they could see it was not the right time. When the last person had exited, Levi leaned back into his chair and looked at Sloan. He tilted his head back and clenched his jaw as if he were thinking about how to say something.

“I…am sorry,” he said slowly. Sloan began listening carefully. It wasn’t often Levi apologized. “That was not the reaction you needed. I wanted some time to process to myself. It’s not an excuse, but I want you to know why I left like I did.”

“I understand and I accept your apology.” The words came out quickly and easily. She didn’t need an explanation – she could understand the gravity of what he’d just learned. She wasn’t surprised at his reaction, but she was surprised that it hadn’t taken him long to come back around. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d disappeared for longer, or if he had moved to separate quarters for a time.

“I felt like I had to run, as ridiculous as it sounds. I don’t know how to be a father. It’s one of my greatest fears. It was just a little too close for comfort, even knowing it was 16 or whatever years ago. They wouldn’t even be children anymore, really, much less _mine_.”

“So running would have been your answer if you had been there at the time?”

“I don’t know how I would have reacted. I was a dumbass, cocky kid. I would have probably thought it was a good way to pin you down, make sure you couldn’t leave. Talk you into moving to the underground. Now I know it would be more than that.”

“So if I told you I was pregnant now, would you run?”

The color drained from his face. “Are you?”

“No, but the question still stands.”

“What did they look like?” He asked, ignoring the question.

“Round, little dark haired babies. Exactly like their father.”

“Boys or girls?”

“One of each.”

“Names?”

“Jonathan and Catelynn Ackerman.”

“Where are they?”

“Why?”

“I need to have some paperwork updated in the event of my death. I would like to add my children’s names to my closest relatives. Along with my wife, I suppose.”

He thought about the papers, the ones that every soldier had in the event of their deaths, listing their closest relatives to inform of their deaths or distribute their possessions. Up until that point, his paperwork had always had something else under next living relatives: _none listed._

She told him the name of the towns.

“Tried to spread them out?”

“I spent a lot of time thinking about where I should put them, if I should keep them together or separate them. In the end I heard of two great families and couldn’t choose, so I gave one to each. I check in on them from time to time.”

“Will I ever meet them?” Levi asked.

“I guess that’s up to you. I am concerned about Jonathan. He seems to be a sort of hellion. I’ve been keeping tabs on him through some Garrison contacts. He’s been caught in alleyways with girls on multiple occasions, and they found him running some sort of fighting ring.”

“That’s probably my fault. What about the girl?”

“I don’t hear much about her. Last I heard she was helping in her family’s bread shop.”

“Bread shop, huh? Sounds like a story I’ve heard before.” A small smile crossed his lips. “I don’t want to run away anymore. I need to get used to this, -“ He motioned between them. “I don’t deserve you, but I don’t want to do this hot and cold thing anymore. I want us to just be together.”

She leaned forward and touched his hand that was laying on the table, her ring on top of his. She touched his face and brushed his hair back. “I have spent years wishing you were with me, thinking those moments and emotions were gone forever. I will never leave you of my own free will. I will be here with you through whatever fucked up things you have going on in that brain of yours. If we have to fight, we will fight together. If you need time to ride a horse off through the dark, then that’s fine. But you better come back afterwards, or I will be highly pissed off.

“Plus we’re married now, so you’re pretty much stuck with me,” she ended with a smile.


	23. Chapter 23

Cassie sat in the study. Since her arrival at the compound she’d been the only one that ever ventured into that room. She learned quickly it was one of the few places she could go to be alone with her thoughts. It was a small library, with a table big enough for four chairs and a few extra sitting chairs by the window. The entire room was dark wood paneling, the furniture polished cherry with red cushions. It had books mostly on the histories of the military and the different branches. There were some dog eared and dilapidated books she’d found on Titans – most likely having been devoured over and over by squad leader Hange. Nothing fictional that she would enjoy reading. No poems or essays of happiness. But at least she could be alone for a while. She let out a sigh and allowed her forehead to hit the table in front of her, crossing her legs in the chair and pulling her arms close around her body.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there like that; she may have even fallen asleep, but after some time she heard the door open and quiet footsteps walked over to the table and pulled a chair out beside her. She knew who it was by his footfalls, even before he spoke. His scent, deep and heady, unnervingly masculine and powerful, announced him before anything else could give him away.

She propped her chin on the table to look across at him.

“I thought I would find you here,” Commander said.

“Did I miss something? I’m sorry, I just needed some time to be alone.”

“There was nothing to be missed,” he said, dismissing the thought with the wave of his large hand before resting it on the table in front of him. “Captain Sloan told me about your encounter this evening.”

“I’m so embarrassed. I’m sure she thinks I’m an absolute ass.”

He didn’t answer her, so she knew the conversation hadn’t been pleasant.

“I wasn’t trying to get involved in their relationship. I guess I let my emotions get the best of me. I didn’t know my father, so I know how that feels. When I think of how my father may not know I exist… Not enough to look for me, anyway. I just lost myself in my own situation and projected my personal feelings too much.”

“I think that’s the first thing you’ve told me about yourself,” he said. “What was it like for you growing up without a father?”

“It was very hard. My mother was always so stubborn. I half suspected he wasn’t around because he didn’t know, or maybe she ran him off. She never spoke of him, so I have no idea what the situation was. But whatever the reason… it was a struggle. She shined shoes around the capitol for a little bit each day. We never lived in the Underground, but it felt like we were very close to having to move there. I was hungry a lot, and my clothes were dirty sometimes. She didn’t have time to work and cook and make sure I was clean as well. It was a lot, I’m sure. And she wasn’t the most warm, loving mother…”

“What happened to her?”

“I’m not sure. I told her I was going to join the military. She didn’t have anything to say. Probably just glad she wouldn’t have to take care of me anymore. I went away to training and never received any letters from her. I tried to find her after I was in the Garrison. My hometown was just a few towns away from where I was stationed. But the house we used to live in…it didn’t belong to her anymore, and the people who lived there didn’t know what happened to her.”

The Commander didn’t respond, only surveyed her closely.

“I’ve wondered, what would I prefer? Is it better if she’s dead? At least then I can tell myself that if she were alive she would have sent me a letter or something. Or is it better if she’s alive? Maybe she’ll come looking for me one day.” Cassie shook her head. “I guess she’s dead to me now regardless. What sort of a mother would just abandon her child like that?”

“We have no choice who our biological family is, but here, at the survey corps, we learn to regard each other as a family unit. We’ve all had trauma in our life, and there’s more trauma to come. I don’t want you to take this spat with Captain Sloan to heart. She doesn’t know your story, and you don’t know hers.”

Cassie smiled a bit. “I believe I thought her up to be something different. I remember thinking, when Captain Levi was… not himself, wondering, what sort of a woman would turn a man like this; that her lost was so significant, he just couldn’t find the will to live anymore? It was kind of romantic – morbid as well, and horrible, obviously – but I imagined she must have been so soft and kind and understanding. I thought, if she were still here, maybe we would be friends. Captain Levi’s reputation precedes him, and I thought she must be the antithesis to him, but now I feel maybe they are more similar than different.”

Commander laughed at that. “Don’t let that unfortunate interaction with Sloan color your idea of who she is. They have a very complicated relationship, one that I don’t understand. It is a fragile thing, one she guards – one they both guard – aggressively. She is a very complex woman. I think you will change your opinion of her in the days to come.”

Cassie huffed and she felt her cheeks redden in anger. “I hope you tell her the same of me!” She slapped her hands over her mouth. She’d just spoken back in anger to a superior! And the commander of the Regiment, even! “Well, I mean what I meant to say was – I do apologize, Commander, sometimes – “

He laughed again at her. “Don’t worry, Cassie. I know you meant no disrespect. And I did tell Sloan that it seemed to be a misunderstanding. Like I said earlier, we are a family, and I will defend you and your reputation to the best of my abilities.”

All the color ran back out of her face. She felt like that was the equivalent of him telling her he loved her. She was suddenly acutely aware that they were in a secluded room together, alone, with little chance of anyone stumbling by. Should she touch his hand? What should she say back? Was he needing a response? Maybe she should just kiss him. His lips looked very soft in the flickering light of the lantern. Was he giving her a come-hither look? Was she the only one feeling this way?

“I would like for you to travel with me to the Capitol in the morning. I have a summons from the chancellery, and I could use your help with the journey, if you feel up to it.” All business, as usual.

“Of course, Commander,” Cassie heard herself answer. “I am here to assist you in any way that I can.”

With that, Erwin excused himself for the night.

* * *

“I am going to the Capitol in the morning, and I would like for Sloan to travel with me,” Erwin said later that night. “I have been called for a summons and I feel that this may be a good time to tell your story as well.”

“Are you sure that’s the best plan? I feel that I’ve just gotten back, there’s much to be done and coordinated around here, I would like to help with the experiments for a while.” Sloan was not excited about leaving again so soon after returning. She was happy to be back at the compound and pleased to settle in a routine after her ordeals.

“I also feel that as ambassador for the Regiment, it is one of your duties to accompany me when other branches are involved,” Erwin said, further pressuring her. So, there were multiple reasons.

“I think it’s a good idea,” Levi said. “I don’t feel it best to keep you a secret. It will be worse when you are discovered, which you will be, eventually.”

“So, it’s settled then, you will accompany me to the Capitol, while Levi stays here and controls the mayhem. I’m sure there will be plenty to keep you busy for a couple of days.

“Goodnight, Captains,” Erwin said and then left to retire for the night.

Sloan turned to Levi. “Trying to get rid of me already?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “I don’t want them thinking you can’t be out of my sight. That’s not the way this is going to work out. We’re going to have to work on our separation. Besides, you really don’t want to be here while Hange goes full-blown mad scientist, do you?”

“I’m nervous about telling what happened. What if they want to quarantine me or do some kind of experiment?”

“I don’t think Erwin would let that happen. But if it does, I’ll come after you.”

They made their way to their quarters for the night, Levi walking a half step behind her, as he’d started doing. Levi turned to lock the door behind them, and when he turned around, Sloan was in front of him. She placed her hands on his chest, before moving them to his shoulders to help him shrug off his jacket.

“Captain, should I help you undress for the night?” she asked.

“Yes, that would be nice.” She took his jacket and hung it in the wardrobe. She began unbuttoning his shirt, before pulling it out of the waist of his pants. He shrugged that off next and she tossed it into the clothes bin. She ran her hands over his smooth chest, admiring his flat stomach and the V of muscle that disappeared into his pants. His chest was lean, with flat nipples. She took time to lick at each one, eliciting a soft groan. He pulled her close and kissed her mouth, pressing his body against her so he could feel her soft curves against his bare flesh. She could feel a hardened bulge press against her.

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”

“I know of one way to find out,” he said as Sloan unbuckled his belt and pulled it quickly out of all the belt loops, tossing it into the wardrobe. She unbuttoned the top button and unzipped his pants before letting them fall to the floor. He stepped out of the pants and stood before her.

“Do you never wear underwear?” she asked, noticing for the first time.

“I want you to have easy access,” he said before taking her hand and placing it on his hard cock. She sighed at the familiarity of him, his skin smooth as velvet, yet hard as steel. She began to pump with her hand, pulling from his body to the tip, smoothing back the drops of precum that glistened at the head. She dropped to her knees without a thought and took him into her mouth, trying to relax to accommodate the entirety of him, though she knew he wouldn’t fit. She mimicked the motions of her hands, sucking from his body and out to the head. His hands rested on the back of her head, not pushing or pulling. She continued for several minutes before he pulled her back to her feet and undressed her. He laid back on the bed before pulling her close.

“Climb over my face,” he said.

She climbed onto the bed on her knees, straddling his face, her hands grasping the headboard. He began to lick her, softly at first, then with more speed and rhythm. She groaned at the pleasure and the power she felt standing over him. She leaned forward to rest her head on the headboard, her knees feeling weak as the pleasure began to build low in her belly. She felt his finger caressing at her opening from behind and gasped when he slid inside her wet slit. He moved his fingers in and out of her, while licking at her throbbing clit. She felt a pressure building up in her belly.

With a moan and great self-control she moved off him.

“I could do that all day,” he said.

“I couldn’t,” she laughed before straddling his hips. She reached between her legs and placed his head at her opening before lowering herself down until he was completely inside her. He groaned as his hand went up to caress her smooth stomach.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, and she could feel herself blush even though he was her husband and she was his wife. She rested her hands on his chest before she began to move over him, withdrawing completely before joining back together. She could feel the tension building and could see it in his face. He grabbed her hips and began to meet her with his own, thrusting with her cadence. She could feel her release close and knew he wouldn’t be far behind. Her pace quickened on top of him, pushing forward to the wave of pleasure that was waiting. He reached between her legs and began caressing her clit, pushing her over the edge. She groaned in pleasure and stifled a scream as she continued to ride him hard through her orgasm. He quickly flipped her over onto her back and entered her again, swinging his hips back and forth. At the last moment, he withdrew, releasing himself across her flat stomach.

He stood and grabbed a handkerchief. He made his way back toward her to wipe off his release.

“Really?” Sloan said, irritation evident on her face. She snatched the handkerchief from his hands and wiped herself off. She threw the handkerchief off the end of the bed before pulling the covers up to her chin with a huff.

“What, Sloan? Do you want to get pregnant? Swing around on your gear with a huge stomach? Ride your horse with an extra 30 pounds and a liability? Bring some kid into this world just to be eaten by Titans?”

“Just forget it,” she said as she turned over in bed, facing away from him.

Levi pulled the blankets back enough to climb into bed behind her, laying on his back. “Are we supposed to talk about this or just leave it alone?”

“Leave it alone,” she said. And with that, they fell asleep in silence.

* * *

They’d gotten on their horses before the sun was up and ridden into the afternoon, arriving at the Capital just in enough time to meet the carriage that was waiting on them. Levi had been awake that morning when she’d left, but they didn’t speak about the previous night. Sloan would rather just forget it happened while she sorted out her own thoughts. When they’d had sex before, he’d always pulled out before finishing, she’d noticed. Well, except for those times in the underground, when they were both too young and stupid to know any better. She didn’t find it odd previously, though even for her it felt a bit incomplete. Didn’t it feel better for a man if they finished inside? Now that they were married, had she expected him to change? After his reaction to finding out they had children – that he’d made her pregnant once before – she shouldn’t have been surprised at how he’d chosen to finish the night. And then what he’d said after, asking if she wanted to get pregnant. It felt a bit like a slap in the face. She knew he was right; their world was no place for children. However, she couldn’t help thinking back to 16 years before, to the little squishy babies she’d held, with their downy soft hair and their round little cheeks, perfect for kissing. She would never forget how nice they smelled as she held them tight, cuddling them close to her chest.

“Be safe,” was all he’d said to her as he helped her up onto her horse in the dim morning light. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Same to you,” was all she’d said back to him.

They didn’t have time to mill about that morning anyway. She’d seen that Erwin had also instructed his aide to accompany them, and she was glad they were on a tight schedule so she wouldn’t have to interact. Sloan ignored her presence for the journey, and it was easy with them riding in relative silence. Now, however, as they were boarding the carriage, she was not looking forward to being in close quarters with the aide for the ride to the assembly. She opened the door to the carriage, began climbing in, and was surprised to see the Military Police Commander, Nile Dok, sitting across from her.

“Commander,” she saluted.

“At ease, Captain,” he said, his expression turning from grouchy to surprise. He released his arms that he’d crossed over his chest before they arrived. “Hell, Sloan, the whole military was talking about you being dead. What the hell’s going on, Erwin?” The aide took a seat beside Sloan before Erwin climbed in behind her. He closed the door and the carriage began its journey.

“I guess I could ask you the same, Nile,” Erwin said.

Nile scoffed. “Well, you’ve certainly got some explaining to do. You planning on telling everyone you faked a Captain’s death?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Nile. Sloan’s story will come up in the procession so we can set the record straight.”

“I was so surprised by Sloan I barely even noticed your arm. That Titan planning to save the rest for later?”

“Well, Nile, my story and Sloan’s is the same, so if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to wait until we can just tell it once. It is long and complicated.”

The carriage came to a stop at a familiar building – the same one that Eren Yeager’s Tribunal had taken place. As Nile reached for the door to the carriage, Erwin stopped him.

“Nile, I am wondering if you are aware that the military police recently killed someone – a person of interest to the survey corps – who may have known information about the Titans that we were interested in.”

Nile looked slightly taken aback. “How can you be sure it was the military police?”

“It is highly suspected because of the way they conducted the investigation afterward. Also, we believe he was tortured because of the way the body was left. We believe it was done by the division known as the interior squad.”

“I had no idea. There are different sects of the military police, as your Captain can tell you.” He nodded toward Sloan. “They all follow orders from above but are rarely told the reasoning. The interior MPs, they are a different breed. I’m not their commander. They are MPs by title but go by their own agenda.” Again, he looked at Sloan.

“They were also very interested in Eren Yeager’s whereabouts. Do you know anything about why they would want to know that?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

“I see.” Erwin said. “Would giving Eren over to the interior MPs end this conflict?”

“I don’t know the answer to that, Erwin. If I knew why they wanted him I could tell you more, but I don’t have any idea.”

Erwin gave a nod.

“Well, I guess we should get on with it then,” Erwin said as he reached for the handle to the carriage and opened the door. He stepped out into the sunlight, followed by Sloan, then Cassie, and Nile bringing up the rear. Two Military Police officers stood waiting outside.

“Erwin Smith,” one of the officers said, “We are here to detain you.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Erwin said. “Please allow me to give direction to my Captain of how the Corps mission should proceed from here.”

“Captain Sloan is to be detained as well,” the other officer said, “And as of this afternoon, there is a freeze on all Survey Corps activities.”

“Sloan?” Erwin looked at her. “How can you have orders to detain her? No one knows she’s alive.”

“Are you resisting?”

“It’s fine, Erwin,” Sloan said. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Then, Commander Erwin Smith, you are charged with violation of clause six of the Humanity Charter; prioritizing one's gain over the safety and longevity of humanity,” one of the officers said. “If you’ll come with me, I’ll show you to where you’ll be held.”

“And Captain Sloan Emery, you are charged with violation of clause six of the Humanity Charter; prioritizing one's gain over the safety and longevity of humanity, as well,” the other officer said, “As well as desertion of a military post.” The officer pulled out handcuffs and twisted her arm back.

“Wait!” she said as he held her arm tight. She felt the cool metal slap on her wrists. “This isn’t a detention, this is an arrest! Who gave you these orders?”

“Officer, are the handcuffs necessary?” Erwin asked.

“We were told to assume Captain Sloan was armed and dangerous,” the officer said as he grabbed her by the upper arm and jerked her forward. She tried to snatch her arm from his grasp, but his fingers dug in tighter. She tried to jerk again, but this time jumped upward when the officer tried to grab her tighter. The front of her head collided with his nose.

“Fuck!” Blood began to pour from his nose. “You little bitch!”

“Trying to add assaulting an officer to your charges?” the other officer said.

“Sloan,” Erwin said. “Comply. This will all be sorted out soon enough.”

She looked at his face, but he seemed to be trying to convince himself.

“I’ll escort Captain Emery,” the other officer said. “You take Erwin.”

“What about this woman?” the officer gestured to Cassie as he pinched the bridge of his bloody nose.

“She’s a medic from the Garrison,” Erwin said, “Loaned to me by Commander Pixis. She has nothing to do with us. She should be released into his custody.”

“I’ll see her there, Erwin,” Nile said. “I know where Pixis is staying.”

Erwin nodded at him solemnly before turning to Sloan. “I do apologize for this mess, Sloan. If I had known…”

“It’s fine, Erwin, there was no way –“ she was cut off abruptly when the officer shoved her forward.

“Let’s go,” he said gruffly, “And don’t try to fight or resist.”

* * *

“Have you been able to locate Sloan?” Erwin asked Hange. The room he’d been detained in was typical. Small bed, a table, some chairs. A door that locked from the outside.

“No,” Hange’s head hung low. “They must be holding her underground somewhere. No one will speak with us. I don’t think she’s being detained by just the Military Police. I think it’s the first interior.”

“What would they want with her?”

“I have no idea. I was hoping you did.”

“I sent word to Levi, though I didn’t have much to tell. I hope he will exercise good sense and stay away. Maybe things will blow over.”

“I hope so, Erwin. But this is very serious. I don’t even know that they will allow you to stand trial for these charges. And Sloan,” Hange shook her head, “I don’t even know if she’s dead or alive at this point. It can’t be good that they won’t let anyone see her.”

“The odds are definitely stacked against us,” Erwin said.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door and Pixis walked in. “Well, you’ve really done it this time, Erwin.” He opened a letter and began to read from it. “ _For public disclosure: for a violation of clause six of the Humanity Charter; prioritizing one's gain over the safety and longevity of humanity,_ _Scout Regiment Commander Erwin Smith and Captain Sloan Emery have been arrested and will stand trial. In addition to this, any member of the Survey Corps that is found will also be arrested, effective immediately. Additional charges to Commander Smith are conspiracy to commit murder and conspiracy to commit kidnapping. Additional charges of Captain Emery are as follows: murder in the first degree, conspiracy to commit murder, conspiracy to commit kidnapping, assault and battery, article 24: absence without leave during time of combat, intentional failure to comply with an order, threatening a supervisor, neglect or dereliction of assigned duty, resisting arrest, assaulting an officer, and article 32: disclosing military information including governmental secrets._

_By order of the Royal Government, Eren Jaeger and Historia Reiss, of the Scout Regiment, are to be delivered to the Capitol and turned over to Military Police custody immediately.”_

“What the hell?” Hange said incredulously. “Where are all those charges coming from?”

“A little of this, a little of that,” Pixis said. “My assumption is that some of it is from her time in the Military Police, and they were just looking for an opportunity to charge her with everything they had. Now seemed like the best time since the Regiment has lost public sentiment.”

“ _Murder in the first degree?_ ” Erwin asked.

“I guarantee that whatever she did, it was under the direction of the Interior Police. She didn’t say much about her time there, but I knew she was happy to get away. And also, that she wasn’t a good shot with a rifle for no reason.”

“ _Disclosing military information?_ Are these even true?”

“I really have no clue. It could be that they just threw a lot of stuff out there and will see what sticks. There’s more than enough to keep her locked away for a very long time, at the very least. The murder charge will probably carry a death sentence.”

“We have to find her quickly,” Erwin said.

“Our best bet right now is to let them bring her out. I have some feelers out to see if we can locate her, but I’m guessing she is underground with twenty-four seven guards. What I do know is that she didn’t leave on the best of terms when she transferred from the Military Police.”

“There’s still the issue of Eren and Historia. This demand – to turn them over immediately. I know the Military Police are looking for them. I received word that they burned down one of our cabins, one where squad Levi had just managed to leave in time.”

“Send them here,” Pixis said. “Get word to Levi to get Eren and Historia into the city – hidden, of course. Levi will figure something out, I’m sure. I can find a place to keep them safe and out of Military Police hands.”

“Is that the best plan? Bring Levi here?” Hange asked. “I wrote to him that you two were being detained, but I didn’t give much detail. I thought it best to give him as little information as possible.”

“It’s just a matter of time before he gets his hands on one of these. They’re everywhere,” Pixis said as he waved the flyer. “One of the Regiment gophers are bound to report this to him.”

“And when he finds out,” Erwin said, “He’ll burn the whole city to the ground.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS SO MUCH for the kind comments and kudos! I can't say it will make me update any sooner as life gets in the way (I work full time, go to grad school, and have had my first child recently) but it DOES make me feel more motivated to continue knowing that so many people are interested and invested in the story. 
> 
> ********Trigger warning: very graphic content. abuse, assault, violence, torture, etc. Please skip the first half if sensitive to this!
> 
> As this is always a work in progress, I have gone back and made very small detail edits to chapters 9 and 21.
> 
> Please enjoy ~

_The rain was falling off the eaves of the roof, hitting her hat and making for an even more unpleasant, cold, dark night. She’d been following the subject for days now. It was part of the job – find the subject, follow them until the time was right, possibly collect some information, and then take care of it. It was a necessity, but also draining work. There was something twisted about the time spent with the targets – you get to know them, their quirks, see their families and where they call home. Watch them act out the mundane activities of daily life. Proximity breeds empathy. After a certain amount of time the closeness almost became a one-sided relationship. A strange type of friendship._

_His daily routine was predictable. He would awake early, often before the sun was up to make it to his print shop. Sal never wanted to see what he printed – usually seeing so much of their daily routine was too much for her already without seeing their thoughts and feelings and emotions on paper. Made them too human, and that would make her too sympathetic to carry out the mission, even if they were criminals. The first day she saw the pewter ring glistening on his finger, a sign that he had someone that loved him, that would hurt so badly if he didn’t come home one day. That same day she saw a woman carry a basket into the shop, a little boy skipping behind her. They stayed there for about an hour before they came back out, alone, leaving the man inside to complete his work for the day. Most days he would stop by the local bar on the way home in the dark evening, having a drink with jovial friends before setting back out to head home. He never seemed drunken or belligerent. That would have made her job too easy. She could have simply convinced herself he was a deadbeat, abusive alcoholic and dump his body in an alley beside some garbage. Make it look like an accident while in a liquored stupor._

_The target walked out of the saloon this night, tucking his hands into his pockets and ducking his head against the rain. She followed a few blocks behind, slowly gaining on him without running. Running would only draw attention. Part of what made her so good at her job was the relative ease at which she could slip in, complete the mission, and slip out, unseen._

_A sound made him stop. Had she gotten too close? He turned and saw her but didn’t seem too concerned. She was too small to be a threat to anyone, and a woman at that. Totally inconspicuous._

_“It’s a little late for such a small lady to be out alone, don’t you think?” he asked her as she stepped closer, not answering._

_“You’re here to kill me, aren’t you?” he said with understanding as he pulled out a cigar, trying to strike a match though it was raining. He gave up and put the unlit cigar in his mouth. “I’m not surprised. I knew I wouldn’t be liked when I started publishing some of those things. I guess it was a little too close for comfort for some people.”_

_She really didn’t want to hear more, hated conversing and interacting with the targets. Something about knowing the sound of someone’s voice, the nuances with which they formed words; it made them all the more real to her._

_“Do you know why they do it?”_

_She didn’t answer. She’d been told they were dangerous criminals, threats to the crown, to order, and the safety of the public. They were capable of horrible deeds, but they were still humans. It was amazing the twisted things humans could think up._

_“I’ve heard about the others that go missing. It’s always the same, right? Someone gets too close to the truth, the government sees them as a threat to the reality they’ve crafted, and that threat must be eliminated. Doesn’t it make you wonder what they’re hiding? Or do you know and not care?”_

_The gears were turning. Was it true? All this time she’d been told they needed to be dispatched before they had a chance to harm anyone, or anyone else in some cases. What could be so important she’d been ordered to snuff out a life to keep the information quiet?_

_“Well, here we are now, and I’m face to face with the angel of death. Can’t say I wasn’t expecting someone taller, larger, maybe a bit more on the manly side. I guess I’m thankful though. My last image will be a bit more attractive than I’d been worried about. Just make it quick. That’s my only request. That, and –“ he reached for the ring on his hand. “Drop that off at my house. If only I could tell Sophie one more time how much I love her… My wife will be thankful for my ring. You do know where I live, don’t you?”_

_She didn’t know what to do. The others that had seen her had been quick kills, not enough to hear their stories. This man thought he was doing something good, something right. He had a child. Loved his wife. Wanted her to be comforted by his ring even when he wasn’t with her._

_She couldn’t do it anymore._

* * *

“Would you like for me to read you the charges again, Sloan?”

She spat at his feet, a mixture of blood and saliva. One of her teeth flew out and hit the ground, bouncing into a dark corner. She had no idea what time it was or how long she’d been there. There were no windows in her tiny cell, and no light from outside of the door when they closed it, leaving her in pitch black darkness. After they’d placed her in handcuffs and escorted her inside away from prying eyes, they’d placed a canvas sack over her head. The walk to where she now waited seemed to go on forever as she’d tripped over all the bumps in the floor and nearly fallen down a flight of stairs. When they’d finally reached their destination, she’d been forced into a chair, her wrists and ankles tied to the arms and legs. The sack had been removed from her head and in the dim light she could see she was in a small jail cell. 

“This murder charge, especially,” the officer clucked his tongue at her. “You’ll be hanged for that one, at the very least, not counting all of your other _infractions_.”

“Murder by order of the Interior Military Police,” she replied from where she sat.

He placed his hands on the arms of the chair, leaning forward inches from her face. “Do you really think people will believe that? If you even have a trial, that is.”

He turned away from her, but quickly spun around and punched her in the face. Stars broke out in her vision, and she thought she may black out.

“This can all go away, Sloan,” he said. “Just tell us what the Survey Corps knows.”

“Knows about what? You’re going to have to be more specific,” she said, when she was sure she could speak. “Knows about the weather? Or maybe about the best recipe for a roasted chicken? Or maybe about how all you MPs are lazy sacks of shit?”

The officer didn’t answer, but instead turned and walked to a wood burning stove in the corner. He struck a match and threw it inside, setting a pile of wood on fire. The warmth filled her tiny cell. She watched as he picked up a metal brand that was leaning against the stove. He placed one end of it inside the stove, the handle hanging out.

“Do you think your commander will hold up to this same treatment?” he asked her. She didn’t answer, didn’t want to think about Erwin meeting the same fate. At least she couldn’t hear screams from anywhere nearby. He turned the brand inside the stove. She watched as the metal began to turn red with heat. He grabbed a pair of pliers and turned back to her. He touched her left hand, as if admiring it. “I see a wedding ring here. Who’s the lucky man?”

Her lips were a tight line.

“Not even a first name?” he opened the pliers and cranked them down on her first fingernail. “Well, I’ll give you a warning on this first one. One, two –“ without a final count he jerked the pliers back. Sloan felt the nail as it ripped from her skin, leaving behind raw and jagged flesh. “Three.” She cried out before she was able to bite down on her tongue. She could feel the blood begin to drip down the end of her finger.

He cranked the pliers onto her next nail. “How about the city you were married in?”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, doing her best to still her rattling jaw. She pushed her tongue into the socket her lost tooth came out of, trying whatever she could to distract herself.

He pulled the next nail out, more slowly this time. She couldn’t stifle the scream as she felt the nail being ripped from its bed once again. She turned her head to the side, willing herself not to vomit, not to give him the pleasure of knowing how much pain she was in.

“Do you think we can’t find out?” he asked her as he took a step back. “It’s public knowledge. You’ll simply be saving us the step of having to dig through all the paperwork.” She wouldn’t turn her face to meet his. He slapped her face with an open hand, sending the room spinning. She heard his footsteps as he walked to the cell door and opened it.

“Send out a message to all the Interior Police, to the capitol and beyond. Tell them to search the courthouse records for a marriage certificate for Mrs. Emery. Let’s see if we can’t locate her sweetheart. Maybe that will make her talk to us.” She wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry. She heard the door close again.

“I’m aware that the Regiment was building ties with a certain minister of the wallists. I intend to find out what the Regiment may have learned from him.” He turned the brand around in the stove coals several times before withdrawing it, admiring the white-hot metal. “Let’s see if we can’t come to some sort of agreement.”

* * *

She’d been in the pitch-black darkness for so long. And silence – deafening silence. She was sure that’s what they were doing – sensory deprivation. She tried to hold onto any small sound she heard. The drop of water, the scratching of a mouse inside the walls, footsteps on the floor above her. Could she hear carriages just on the other side of the wall? Was the road that close? The patrons coming and going with no idea what lie on the other side of the cold stone?

The darkness would play tricks on her. She knew it was too dark to make out any shapes, but that didn’t stop her mind from working. Sometimes she would close her eyes and open them, though it made no difference to her sight. At times she swore she saw the Titan, the one that tried to eat her in the forest. She would jerk hard in the chair before she realized she’d drifted off to sleep and it was all just a horrible nightmare.

Well, some of it, at least.

Time didn’t exist anymore in the quiet darkness. She could even cease to exist if she tried hard enough. Her foot made a sound against the ground and she knew she still had her senses, even though it had been so long since she’d heard a sound.

She was nothing but pain and could think of nothing else. She tried to hold on to what little positive thought she could. She turned her wedding ring with her thumb, sure she was smearing bloody prints all over the cool metal. The pain had almost erased everything, but if she focused very hard, she could almost remember his face.

Voices were approaching and she could see a small flicker of light underneath the door and through the small barred window of the cell door. Keys jangled as they found their way into the lock. She wasn’t sure what form of torture was next to come.

Her tormenter – Gerald, she’d found out his name – had quickly discovered her regenerative abilities. What had been thought of by many of those around her to be a positive attribute had quickly turned into her worst nightmare. He seemed to relish slicing into her flesh or burning the skin right off just to watch it stitch right back up. At some point she’d passed out from the pain, only to be awoken by a bucket of ice water thrown into her face.

The door slowly opened. She was ready to die; didn’t know how much longer she could hold on through the torture. But then a thought – Levi in Hermina, when she’d seen him after he’d saved her in the alley, how gaunt he’d looked, remembered the comments everyone had made about his state. Was he ready to kill himself when she died? Would it happen again? Even in death, would another man’s death be on her hands again? This one, too precious to chance, too valuable.

A man crossed the room, a lantern held out in front of him. Sloan closed her eyes against the sudden brightness.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” the man said. “I came quick when I heard we’d imprisoned a Regiment captain. You’re not the one I’m looking for.” He reached out and grabbed her face, turning it back and forth in the light. “But I know who you are. It’s over now, girly. If Uri could see you like this – I bet he’s turning over in his grave.”

His words made no sense to her. Maybe she’d been hit in the head one too many times. She could see him clearly in the light now. He had a long, thin face, with stringy brown hair and a dusting of a beard across his jawline. He smiled widely at her.

Kenny the Ripper.

“Where’d you get that scar from, darling?” His fingertips danced across her neck.

She tried to speak but her mouth was too dry. She was embarrassed by the sounds that came out.

“Gentlemen, let’s get the lady a drink of water,” he said. A cup was quickly produced. He held it up to her lips. “Drink.” She turned her head. Was this another device for torture? A poison meant to kill slowly and painfully? “Don’t be afraid. See?” he took a drink from it and swallowed loudly. He held it back to her lips and she drank it down in one swallow.

“Now, that scar?”

“You don’t remember me?” she managed to say, her voice raspy.

“There’s only been a few to get away from me, but I’m ashamed to say I can’t recall someone as pretty as you.”

She tried several times before she was able to speak. “I guess I… didn’t leave much of an impression...”

He looked her over again. “They’ll cut you out and take you to the Garrison headquarters first thing in the morning.”

“Sir, I-“ one of the officers behind him said.

“No arguing. Who among you ranks higher than me?”

The officer closed his mouth.

“Consider it my last favor. For Uri.”

“Sergeant,” an officer said as he approached someone just outside of the door. “We have gained intel as to who Sloan Emery’s husband is.”

“And?” Gerald’s response came.

“It’s Levi Ackerman, sir.”

Kenny laughed. “Well, I’ll be, isn’t that something. What an interesting woman you’ve grown into! Daddy Levi is going to be very unhappy when he finds out we have something of his. In fact, I was hoping to meet up with your husband in a few days. For a little _chat_.”

The word sent shivers down her spine more than any torture she’d endured.

“Captain, would you still like to release her? We could use this information, see if we can entice him to turn himself in.”

“No, no,” Kenny said. “Half of the fun is the hide and seek. You will release her to the Garrison headquarters in the morning. Just open the door and throw her in there for all I care. After she’s out of our hands, my debt is paid. Levi will reveal himself when the time is right.”

* * *

The sound of keys jingling in the door was what woke her. How long had it been? Was it morning already? It was impossible to tell the time in her chamber of pain. What seemed like hours at times had only been mere minutes.

The door opened and a figure came in holding a lantern in front of them. The light nearly blinded her, but it left the figure in darkness. A faint outline was all she could make out.

“Are you Scout Regiment Captain Sloan Emery?” the voice was familiar, yet somehow different.

She had to clear her throat and swallow several times before she could answer, her voice weak. “Y-yes.”

“I’m here to help you out of this place.” The figure leaned forward then, moving the lantern to the side. She could see his face clearly now. Her blood ran cold and goosebumps broke out over her flesh.

Dark black hair pulled back from his face in a messy bun on the crown of his head. A defined jaw. A nose that looked like it could have been carved from marble. But the eyes – bright blue and expressive, as he took in the look of her, his mouth pressed into a straight line and his eyebrows furrowed with concern. He was wearing black pants, a black shirt, and a khaki jacket with the Military Police insignia on the breast pocket. A black bandana hung around his neck.

“Are you with… the Military Police?” she asked.

“No.” He glanced down at the symbol. She knew why his voice was familiar now. “No, I’m with someone else. I just happened to find this jacket.” A likely story. “But I’m here to get you out.”

“Did Erwin do this?”

“Erwin? You mean the Commander of the Regiment? No, we don’t operate with him. I don’t have time to explain. They’ll be coming soon.”

“Then just leave me,” she managed in a raspy whisper, “They’re going to… let me out…” The words were slow to come. Every sound was an effort. “Please… just go…”

“You’re going to trust the Military Police to release you?” He was speaking slowly as if she were stupid. It sounded stupid even to herself. How could she explain it to him? He wasn’t working with the Military Police. This wasn’t an approved release. He could get caught helping her out of there. What would they do to him then? The same as her?

“My leg’s broken…” she looked down at her thigh. It didn’t look so bad from the outside, but she knew. She’d felt it crack as they’d swung a blacksmithing hammer. “No way… could walk… takes too long…”

“I have help,” he said. “I have time.”

She couldn’t tell if it were true or if he just wanted her to feel better.

Without waiting for a response, he pulled out a knife and began cutting the ropes on her ankles. She couldn’t stop the sound of pain that escaped from her as her leg fell to the side, no longer held in place by the ropes. He examined her leg more closely.

“The bone’s not set,” he said. He grabbed her ankle. “I’m going to pull it back into place. This is going to hurt.”

“No!” she said. “I’ll heal.” But would she? Would her bone heal back into the right place without being set properly?

“No way it will.” Without waiting for a rebuttal, he jerked her leg straight outward. There was no way she could hold in the scream that followed. Her vision went blurry and nausea almost overtook her as she felt the bones slide back into place. “I’m sorry. I had to do it.”

He walked back to the door and seemed to be looking down the hallway.

When he returned he had another young man with him. He wore all black as well, with the bandana pulled up over his nose and mouth.

The first young man shrugged off the Military Police jacket and threw it in a corner. He lifted his bandana over the lower half of his face as well. He cut her hands free.

“OK, this is going to hurt a lot,” he said as he stood beside her. The other young man stood on her other side. They readied themselves, and Sloan realized they were getting ready to lift her.

“Stop!” she managed to eek out. “I don’t want to go… Just leave me…”

“I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that this was optional,” he said. “It would be better for us if you’d be willing to come, but we will be leaving with you tonight.”

“And where will you take me?”

“Nate,” the young man said. The second young man nodded before pulling out a cloth and a small glass container. He splashed some liquid from the glass onto the cloth.

“Nighty night,” he said, before covering her mouth and nose with the cloth.

And her world went black.

* * *

Levi read over the notice one of the scouts had brought him that morning. The paper was already beginning to look worn from how many times his fingers had passed over it, deep creases nearly cutting the page in eighths where he’d folded and unfolded it too many times. The Regiment was disbanded, and all the scouts were considered criminals. The government was demanding that Eren and Historia be turned over. They were holding Erwin and Sloan under arrest. He’d read over her long list of crimes multiple times, wondering if they could be talking about the same woman. He’d almost smirked when he read “resisting arrest” and “assaulting an officer,” but then he remembered the first-degree murder charge and almost felt his blood run cold. He’d balled the paper up in his fist after that, almost subconsciously. He didn’t know how she would make it out of there with the long list of things they wanted to charge her with.

The murder charge alone would carry a hanging.

But what was driving him crazy was imagining what they were doing to her. The Military Police was aware the Regiment had been talking to Minister Nick – or trying to, at least. He’d never given them any useful information. The MPs didn’t know that. And if they were trying to get information out of someone…

His whole body was tensed. The urge to jump on a horse and ride as fast as he could to the capitol was nearly overwhelming. He looked out over the squad he was with, knowing he couldn’t leave them without supervision.

He’d told her to go.

She didn’t want to – had tried arguing with Erwin to stay at the Regiment headquarters. He had told her to go along with Erwin, that it wasn’t anything serious.

He was nearly sick with himself.

But they would be making their moves soon enough. He’d gotten a message from Hange to try to smuggle Historia and Eren through the city, to hand them over to Pixis. From there, Pixis would be able to stow them away safely for the time being. He would also be able to search for Sloan. It would take longer than he would like with his squad in tow, but there wasn’t any other option.

“Squad,” he said, “Pack your things. We’re moving into the city today. We will be moving to the point designated by Commander Pixis. Eren and Historia, you two will be hidden in a wagon as you move through the city. Pixis said he can house you two safely while we come up with a plan. He’s sending some Garrison soldiers to rendezvous with us. We’ll have two decoys walk with the rest of the group.” They finished going over the plan and packed up, Eren and Historia climbing into the back of the covered wagon. The soldier driving the wagon took off ahead of them.

Once they arrived in the city, Levi looked over his shoulder at them, and they all nodded in unison before taking off on their 3D gear. The plan was to find and follow the carriage as it made its way through the city, ensuring safe passage.

Levi landed on one of the roofs, his cloak billowing out behind him. He surveyed the streets below, watching for the wagon, but his mind was anywhere but there. The letter from Hange had barely even mentioned Sloan, other than to say she was detained. Hange had met with Erwin, had conversations with him, but there was no mention of correspondence with Sloan. But what was he expecting? A small line at the bottom that read, _oh, by the way, Sloan says “hi?”_

Yea, he kind of was expecting that. Or at least hoping for it. What did it mean that there was no message from her?

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he barely heard the noise behind him.

The _whirr_ of 3D gear, followed by a figure flying over his head.

“Hey, Levi!” the man said. “Whatcha been up to?” Two revolver barrels were pointed right at him.

“KENNY!” Levi exclaimed. He swung his cloak over his head just as he heard the guns go off. He didn’t stop to watch the bullet ridden cloth fall to the ground, and instead let his gear fly. He flew through alley after alley, going so fast he barely saw anything other than the blurring of brown stone as he sailed past the buildings. He saw a figure to his left, heard gunshots, and felt a nick on the side of his face. He slid down some wooden scaffolding and into some wooden crates, flinging them behind him as he went in the hopes it would slow Kenny down.

He shot his gear straight into a saloon, the anchor taking hold in the wooden bar and pulling him inside. He quickly jumped and ducked behind the bar, ignoring the ruckus that was erupting around him. He reached up and touched at his forehead, his fingers coming away red with blood.

“Yooooo Levi!” Kenny said as the doors to the saloon banged loudly as they swung open. “The law’s come to take you down! BANG! BANG!” Kenny stomped on the floor with each foot. “Where ya at? We’ve got you surrounded.”

“I’m back here, Kenny,” Levi called from where he stayed covered behind the bar. “How have you been? Didn’t realize you were still alive. And working with the Military Police now? Got tired of killing them?”

“Times change,” Kenny said, “Adults can change their minds. I guess you know that now, right? You’re an adult, despite it not lookin like you’ve grown much.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Heard you got married recently. Congratulations. Guess my invitation got lost in the mail.”

Levi’s fists clenched involuntarily. “Yea. Small ceremony.”

“Got the pleasure of meeting your wife. When was it? Night before last?”

Levi felt the blood drain from his face.

“But I guess she’s probably told ya about it by now, right?”

So, she was released? Or could she have sent a letter to someone? Was she being held hostage?

“Pretty girl. A bit small in the chest area for my tastes. Just wish I could’ve gotten to her before the MPs did all that… Her daddy’s probably turning over in his grave over this mess. Poor Uri. Rest his soul. She looks just like him.”

He was nearly grinding his teeth to dust. He wasn’t sure he needed any more details, but he did need to know where she was. At least he wasn’t talking about her in past tense. But that comment… Levi had seen Sloan’s father before in the underground. They looked nothing alike. And how would Kenny have known him, enough to speak of him like they were old pals? Before he could think of a way to get more information without betraying too much, Kenny began running his mouth again.

“Oh, well, what can you do? You try to protect them, put them in a good place as a favor for a friend, and they somehow end up in these situations, a dog to the military and married to a sack of shit like you.” Kenny laughed a little. “I guess I can’t fault the MPs for wanting to have a little fun.”

“Is this all fun to you, Kenny?” His whole body was quaking with fury. Was Kenny trying to egg him on? How much could he believe? He looked over and saw a shotgun lying underneath the bar counter.

“Don’t act like you’re so much better than me, Levi.” Levi saw Kenny’s reflection in the wine bottles on the shelf over the bar. Kenny took a few steps closer. “You torture and kill when you have to, right?”

“Yea,” Levi said as he aimed the shotgun over his head, bracing it on the bar. He pulled the trigger, and the blast rattled all the bottles. He jumped up, practically throwing the shot gun into the bartender’s hands, before running toward a window.

_Distraction, distraction,_ was all he could think. He was surrounded. He spied a chair and grabbed it, throwing it through the window. He heard gunfire outside as whoever was working with Kenny began to shoot without waiting to see what had come out of the window.

As soon as the shooting stopped, he jumped out of the window, shooting his gear into the first body he saw. The hook flew through the man like he was made of butter. Levi shot his other hook into a nearby roof, pulling the body with him as he surveyed the scene.

_Two more on the roof in front._ He pushed the body in front of his, running toward the two enemies using their comrade as a shield. It was nothing to shoot past those two, slicing through their midsections with his steel blades. He caught sight of the wagon and began to follow behind, trying his best to keep his mind occupied with the mission at hand.

_Just get through this, get them to safety, and then you can devote all your energy to Sloan._ They were nearly to the checkpoint Pixis had set forth. Erwin was being held nearby. She had to be somewhere in the city also.

He heard a sound behind him and saw another member of Kenny’s squad giving chase. He shot his hook into the man and pulled the body toward him, slicing the man through. He grabbed onto the side of a building and looked up to see his own squad.

God, he hated the looks on their faces. Would they be able to understand?

“Chase the wagon!” he shouted to them. “Those people chasing – they will kill you. Protect yourselves by whatever means necessary!” He looked at their faces as they began to fly together after the wagon. “Understand?!”

“Affirmative,” Mikasa said, her eyes darkened. The others still seemed hesitant. He didn’t have time to worry about them. He couldn’t force them to do anything they didn’t want to do.

The wagon was losing ground, and Levi could see one of Kenny’s members standing in the back of the wagon over the limp bodies of Eren and Historia, the driver no longer their own. When had they lost the wagon? He’d been too sidetracked by almost getting killed. He shot his hooks into the man, pulling him off the wagon and tossing him to the side.

“Armin and Jean, secure the wagon,” Levi ordered. “Mikasa and I will provide cover.”

“Yes sir!” Armin said and flew down to the wagon. Jean followed slowly behind. Levi watched as the driver of the wagon turned around, turning her attention off the road long enough for Mikasa to swoop down and knock her back. Jean held his blade out to the woman’s face, but the woman grabbed her gun, using it to whip the blade right out of his hand. He fell backwards, the woman’s gun drawn on him.

Her finger was on the trigger.

“Jean!” Mikasa said as she flew down, trying to make it in time.

Armin picked up a pistol that was laying in the back of the wagon and pointed it at the woman. The shot rang out, and Levi saw her body crumple off the side of the wagon, left behind in a cloud of dust.

Three more enemies swooped down from no where it seemed, guns drawn.

“Armin! Jean!” Levi said and looked over at Mikasa. She nodded at him and they both dove down, each grabbing one of their squad and carrying them back up to the rooftops. They watched as the enemies jumped into the seat of the wagon and took off out of the city.

“Eren!” Mikasa said as she dove after the wagon.

“Stop!” Levi shouted after her, tackling her to the ground and pinning her. “Don’t chase. Let them go.”

She screamed in frustration as they watched more enemies flying overhead after the wagon.

“We’ll regroup and come up with another plan,” he told her as he stood up. “We need to get word to Pixis immediately.”

He flew back up to the rooftop where Jean and Armin waited, still looking shellshocked. “I need one of you to report. Take off your gear, and anything that gives away that you’re a Scout. Go to the Garrison headquarters. Tell them you need to speak to Pixis. That _I_ need to speak to him. Then report back.” Neither of them answered. Instead, Armin turned to the side and vomited. Levi tried to hide his disgust, while at the same time trying to keep from grabbing the boy by the shoulders and shaking him.

“Forget it,” Levi said. “I’ll go myself.” It wasn’t ideal. He was much more recognizable than either of them. But he couldn’t wait for them to recover from whatever moral dilemma they were going through.

“Captain,” Armin said. “How did you… do that? And now, you don’t seem bothered at all.”

Levi looked back at him.

“I mean no disrespect,” he wiped his mouth, still looking green. “How can you get over something like that so quickly?”

Levi paused for a moment. “You do what you have to do for the people you care about.”

He sped off on his 3D gear. He’d told them to leave their things behind, to try to be inconspicuous, but it was more for their safety. They were still to be arrested if found, after all. He should try to be more cautious; if any of the Military Police saw him, they would recognize him immediately. His face was plastered on more than one notice that he’d seen floating around.

But he wasn’t worried about being seen. The Garrison headquarters wasn’t too far. He would land on the roof and find a window or back door to go through. From there, he would get inside and either find Pixis or someone that could get him answers. He landed on the rooftop beside the headquarters and saw a window conveniently open. He engaged his hook, sending it flying through the window, embedding it into the flooring. He _zoomed_ easily into the building, ducking on his way in.

The room was unremarkable. It looked like a single officer’s quarters, with a single bed in the corner, a wardrobe, and a small sitting table with two chairs. From the absence of any personal items, Levi figured it was vacant. He hurried to the door, jerking it open. He walked slowly down the hall, listening carefully for any sounds. A door opened, and he flattened himself against the wall, waiting to see who would come out.

But it was only two female Garrison officers, young ones, at that.

“You two,” he said as he walked up to them. “Tell me where I can find Commander Pixis.”

They both simply looked at him, their mouths open. He wasn’t sure what they saw, but he remembered his bleeding head and looked down at his shirt. Blood was smeared across the front.

“Hey!” he shouted at them. “Who are your commanding officers?”

“Is there something I can help you with?” asked a voice from behind him. Levi turned to see an officer, nearly 6 feet tall, with dark hair and a tanned complexion. “Captain Levi.”

He knew this man from somewhere, but from where?

“I’m Captain Bryson,” the man said. “We met at the Survey Corps. I traveled with Captain Sloan when she first transferred.”

Oh, yea. That guy. “I’m looking for Pixis. Do you know where he is?”

“Come with me,” he said before turning and walking down the hallway, leaving Levi to follow. Bryson approached a pair of double doors at the end of the hall. Bryson opened them before stepping inside.

“Levi,” Hange said, looking shocked. “What are you doing here? What happened to you?”

“Am I taking this to mean the delivery wasn’t a success?” Pixis said as he stood from his desk.

“Why the fuck do you think I’m here?” he asked, his rage beginning to seep out. “What the hell’s going on? Where’s Sloan?”

Hange and Pixis exchanged looks.

“We’re not sure where she is,” Hange said eventually. “We haven’t been able to locate where they’re keeping her.”

He wanted to reach up and rip his hair out. He’d foolishly hoped that when Bryson opened the doors, Sloan would be sitting there next to Pixis, no worse for wear. “What do we know?”

“Virtually nothing,” Pixis said, hanging his head. “I’m sorry, Levi. We’re doing everything we can to find her… They’ve separated her from Erwin. She’s not being housed in the cells. There’s not much else we can do given the current situation.”

Levi’s legs moved like he was made of tin, his body rigid with anger. He walked up to Pixis’s desk and reached out, grabbing the older man by the collar and pulling him forward. “Send an officer to every fucking building in this town,” he said through clenched teeth. “Have them search every space for where they could be holding her.”

“Levi,” Hange said. “Surely you know we can’t do that currently. Even if we had the manpower, with what they’re trying to charge her with, we have no right to take her from Military Police custody.”

“I’ll have to ask you to unhand the Commander, Captain,” came Bryson’s voice, approaching closer. Levi turned and shot him a look that nearly made the man shrink in front of him.

“Bryson, it’s fine,” Pixis said. “Levi, do you think you are the only one in this room that cares for Sloan? Are you so arrogant as to think no one has been through all the options of how we could gain intel to her location?”

Levi’s grip loosened.

“Do you not remember what I said to you, when you came to my jurisdiction, when we thought she was dead?”

He couldn’t remember much from those first few days, to be honest.

“That Sloan is like a daughter to me?” Levi saw the man’s eyes grow shiny with tears. “That I would do anything to retrieve her, to guarantee her safety?”

His grip loosened on Pixis’ collar.

Hange placed her hand on Levi’s arm. “Now is not the time for rash decisions. We must remain methodical, strategical. We cannot just go in blindly, slaughtering everyone that stands between you and her.”

He let go of the collar. He placed his hands on the desk.

“I can’t function right now, Hange,” he said. “I don’t understand how I will be able to go forward with any orders or any plans. I’m completely consumed.”

“Maybe going forward is just what you need,” Hange said. “We have some intel, we need your squad to investigate. We believe that Historia and Eren are en route to a chapel that is important to Rod Reiss, Historia’s father, and the true king. There’s a possibility that you may encounter someone that can tell you where Sloan is being held.”

Levi hung his head in exhaustion. Was this to be his life now? After Kenny’s comments in the saloon, he was grieving already. He wasn’t sure exactly what Sloan was enduring, but he was buckling with the knowledge. But he still had to perform – always performing for the Regiment. He was an empty cup, constantly being told to pour more and more.

“How can you trust me to do anything, Hange?” His voice was low and controlled. “Aren’t you worried I might go ballistic? I’m not exactly mentally stable right now.”

“I trust you to do it because you’re Captain Levi,” she said. “Now, first, tell us about the mission.”


	25. Chapter 25

It was late. He’d been watching the unmarked building for hours, making sure it was the right place. He couldn’t decide if the Military Police were just stupid, or if they really didn’t care. Maybe they were so used to being the ones in charge that they weren’t worried about anything? Like the animal at the top of the food chain. Did bears look over their shoulders for incoming predators? But these bears had gotten fat and lazy, and they weren’t in tip top shape to fend off any attacks.

He was getting ready to descend.

He didn’t have a plan. Didn’t know if he would try to sneak in, case the place to see if she was being kept there, or if he would take no prisoners. He couldn’t deduce all the details but from what Kenny said, there was more than enough information to slaughter every fucking last one of them, no questions asked.

He clenched his fists and ground his teeth together. Was she in there somewhere? Being tortured? Were they trying to get information from her? Kenny spoke like she should have been released by now.

_I guess I can’t fault the MPs for wanting to have a little fun._

Take no prisoners.

The front door looked to be unguarded. He went around the side of the building to the back, doing his best to peer in the windows. There was a guard inside, leaning back in a chair by the door, mouth open in a snore. Fat and lazy. He kept walking around to the back and saw a single door. He tried the doorknob and it opened easily. He slipped inside.

He waited a minute inside to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. The door opened into a small area that looked like it could have been a kitchen, perhaps where some meals were prepared for the officers. A door was to his left. He opened it but found only a broom closet. Another door was straight in front of him. There was a sound just on the other side of the door and Levi flattened himself against the wall. The door swung open and a Military Police officer walked in. The officer slowly walked into the kitchen, making his way toward a cabinet, possibly looking for a snack or a drink of alcohol.

Levi snuck behind him. He grabbed the man and spun him around, quickly punching him across the face. As the man reached up to his nose, seeming to be confused about what hit him, Levi pulled him down and kneed him in the forehead. The man fell to the ground, still too stunned to know what was happening. Levi circled behind the man, dropping down and taking the man’s head in his elbow.

“Where do you hold prisoners?” he asked as he tightened his arm around the man’s neck. He kicked his legs, unable to breathe. “Oh, I guess I’m getting a little carried away.”

“What do you mean prisoners?” the man said, gasping. “Did you check the jail cells?”

Levi’s arm tightened. “No, this would be a special prisoner. Someone that would need special accommodations.”

“Erwin Smith…?” the man choked out.

“No, not Erwin.”

“There’s…” the man’s voice was choked off. Levi loosened a bit. “Check under the stairs. In the next room.”

“I appreciate your assistance,” Levi said, before quickly jerking the man’s head sideways and snapping his neck. He didn’t even bother to hide the body.

The door the man came out of lead into the main room. The front door was adjacent to the one Levi had come out of. The guard was still sleeping, completely oblivious to the scuffle that had taken place in the other room. A long staircase was to the left. And – bingo – a door underneath the stairs.

He quietly walked over to the door and opened it. Stone steps led straight down with stone walls lit by torches. He couldn’t see what lie at the bottom. Not the best situation to stay unnoticed, but he knew he had found the right place. He gently closed the door behind him before quietly walking down the stairs.

The air became more and more damp and cold as he descended. At the bottom of the stairs he saw another MP officer. This one was looking straight ahead, not concerned about the stairway. It was almost too easy to grab him from behind and hold a knife to his throat.

“Where’s Sloan Emery?” He could see down what he previously thought was a hallway. Instead, it was a row of cell doors. No barred cells, only stone walls, with heavy wooden doors. There were bars on the windows of the doors.

“Hey!” said a guard at the end of the cells. He began to run toward them.

Levi slashed his knife across the first guard’s throat, letting him drop to the side as he clutched at the blood pouring from his neck. The next guard charged toward him, a spear held in front. Levi nimbly dodged out of the way and countered with a knee to the abdomen. The man fell to the side, sputtering.

“Sloan Emery.” His voice was guttural, even to himself, like a beast was rising up inside of him.

The man was still coughing but pointed to a cell. Levi grabbed the man’s hair, pulling his head back before slicing across his neck as well.

He stood up and walked over to the cell the man pointed to. The door was slightly cracked. His hand lingered on the doorknob, willing himself not to look in the window. What would he find? They would never leave the door open if she were alive and well inside. Would he find her lifeless body? Would she be chained to the wall? He opened the door and stepped inside.

The cell was empty. Empty of anything he was interested in, anyway. A chair sat in the center, ropes laying on the ground. He crouched down and touched them. They’d been cut. Straw littered the ground, possibly a makeshift bed. He tried to imagine her lying in the straw at night, trying to be comfortable and stay warm. But then something caught his eye, he looked down and saw blood splatters all over the floor. The pattern continued on the walls. Something white was on the ground. He looked closer. A tooth.

He put his hands on the arms of the chair, leaning forward. He wanted to claw at his face. She wasn’t there. All the blood was dried. Was it hers? Maybe the officer was mistaken. Maybe she was in a different cell. He looked at the fibers of the chair and saw a single strand of red hair. He choked back the tormented screams that wanted to erupt from his chest. He turned to leave and saw a small stove in the corner. A brand leaned against the wall. His vision was going red.

There was the sound of running footsteps in the hallway.

“Oh, shit, Jerry!” Levi was sure it was more guards. He flattened himself against the inside wall of the cell. His fingers found the handle of the brand and he gripped it tightly.

“And is that McDonald?”

“What the fuck is going on? This is like the Sloan Emery thing all over again!”

“Except this time everyone’s fucking dead, you dumbass!”

Levi stepped out of the cell and bashed one of the guards over the head with the metal brand, knocking him out cold. He swung again at the second guard, catching him across the face with the end. The guard fell to the ground, clutching at his face. Levi stepped behind him, straddling the man, and grasped the metal on either end. He brought it underneath the guard’s chin and began to pull up. The guard grabbed at the metal, his face turning purple, his legs kicking out in front of him.

Levi’s jaw was hurting from the pressure of clenching his teeth. He relaxed some and let the man take a small breath.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask questions before you torture a guy?” the MP managed to cough out.

Levi tightened the brand again. The guard’s face turned purple once more, and strange sounds came up from his throat.

“Is that what you did to Sloan Emery?” his voice was low in the man’s ear. “Ask her some questions, then torture her when she didn’t answer? Or when the answer wasn’t fast enough, or what you wanted to hear?”

The man was flagging, Levi could tell. Before his hands went limp Levi gave him a little air.

“I didn’t do anything to her! That was all those guys over there! The ones you already killed.”

Levi tightened the brand again. “I don’t believe you.” The man was nearly being lifted from the ground. “Is she alive?” This was the moment of truth. Would he have to go ballistic or could he just kill the guy and walk away to find her?

“I-I don’t… know…” he choked out. Levi released some.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“She disappeared from her cell one night. We had orders to release her in the morning from our captain, Kenny Ackerman. He said he knew her from somewhere, that he was doing a favor for a friend. Uri was his friend’s name. But the night before we released her, she vanished. All the guards were either killed or knocked out.”

Levi pulled back up on the brand while he thought for a moment. Who could have taken her? If it wasn’t the corps and it wasn’t the Military Police… Pixis seemed like he was distraught as well, unless he was a better actor than Levi gave him credit for.

And Kenny Ackerman… Was that his last name? Same as his own?

“You have no idea who took her?”

The man managed to shake his head. Levi released some. “They left nothing behind, except the ropes they cut off of her. Must have been some big guys too. She wouldn’t be walking anytime soon…”

“What does that mean?”

The guard seemed to realize he’d said too much. He’d started singing the second the pressure was put on, offering all sorts of information. Now it was coming back to haunt him.

Levi jerked the brand up. The man’s eyelids fluttered as his face began to turn blue. The man started to tap his hand on the ground.

“Are you tapping out? Don’t be such a little bitch.” Levi released again.

“Those guys over there, not me though, I’ve been on patrol duty. I heard them talking about what they did to her. Horrible things. Made me cringe. I’m not cut out for this kind of stuff. I thought this would be an easy job.” Levi tightened again. “Her leg was broken,” he gasped out. “Her arms were cut to pieces. They’d hit her in the head. Said she could take more than anyone they’d ever seen, and that she was healing right in front of them.”

He’d heard enough, even if he could’ve stopped himself. He pulled tighter and tighter on the brand. The guard’s face changed colors. From red, to purple, to blue. He was kicking his legs and scratching at Levi’s face, doing his best to pry his hands away. Levi sat still as a stone. The guard’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets, and the veins in his forehead were beginning to stick out. His eyes fluttered into the back of his head and his arms and legs went limp. Levi kept squeezing. Harder and harder, wondering if they’d done the same to Sloan. He felt the guard’s jaw begin to crack, and then he felt the brand give as the jawbone broke off its hinges. He threw the brand to the side and straightened up, pulling out his knife and slashing the guard’s neck for good measure.

He began walking back up the stairs, nearly in a trance. When he emerged from the door into the main room, the same guard was still sleeping in his chair, oblivious to the carnage below.

That guard was the easiest kill. A flick of the wrist, and his blood covered the floor.

Levi let himself out the back again. He didn’t care much if he were caught, but it would be an inconvenience. He had more information than when he went in, but still no Sloan. And still no closer to knowing whether she was dead or alive.

The streets were nearly empty as he slowly walked back to the Garrison headquarters. He saw a few people that hurried away when they saw him coming. He opened the front doors and stepped inside.

The looks on the faces of the Garrison officers had him looking down at his clothing. He hadn’t realized how much blood he’d gotten on himself. He would need to go straight to the bathhouse. His usual three-minute showers would not take care of this particular mess.

“Levi?” Hange stood at the top of the stairs, her robe pulled over her pajamas. She blinked a few times as she looked down at him. She made her way down the stairs. “What happened to you?”

“It’s nothing, Hange.” He began to walk past her toward the showers. He opened the door and walked in as she followed close behind.

She looked him up and down. “What did you do?”

“I found where they had Sloan.”

“Where was it?”

He scoffed. “Underground at the Military Police headquarters. There are some cells down there. Guess they weren’t worried about anyone coming down there after her since we’re technically outlaws.”

“Well, did you find Sloan?” 

He shook his head, not wanting to meet her eyes. “No. But I found the cell she was in.”

Hange’s mouth was pressed into a straight line. She didn’t ask how he knew that was her cell.

“The guard I spoke with said he didn’t know if she was dead or alive; that she disappeared from the cell the night before she was set to be released.”

“Maybe she managed to escape.”

“He described her condition to me.” His fists clenched. “She wouldn’t have made it out on her own.”

“So, we really know nothing.”

“Pretty much.” He pulled his shirt over his head before throwing it to the side.

“Are the Military Police going to be upset with us?”

He shrugged. “Everyone I encountered was disposed of.”

Hange shook her head. “Levi, you can’t keep going rogue like this. Erwin was fine with you coming back, though I had my doubts. Don’t make us regret this decision.”

He looked at her. “You’re in the men’s bath. I’m about to take off my clothes. Get out or you’re about to see more of me than you ever wanted to.”

Hange turned to the door and opened it. “We can find her, Levi. Just give us time. And use the proper channels.” She closed the door behind her as she left.

* * *

“Still no word on Sloan?” Erwin asked Hange the next morning when she stopped by.

“Well, about that…” she seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “She is no longer in Military Police custody, it seems.”

“What does that mean?”

“Levi was able to find out where she’d been held. He asked a guard what happened to her, he said she disappeared one night. They were planning to release her the next morning.”

Erwin’s eyes narrowed. “Why would they release her? They put out that long list of charges.”

“I’m not sure,” Hange replied. “Levi didn’t elaborate. He wasn’t in the right, err, state of mind.”

“What else did he say?” Erwin asked, then thought better. “Actually, I may not want to know any more details right now.”

“No,” Hange replied. “I’m quite certain you don’t.”

“Fair enough. I don’t need anything else to incriminate me.”

“Is everything set for this afternoon?”

“I believe so,” Erwin said. “The trial is all set, as far as I know. I’m just hoping Pixis will help uphold his end of things.”

“And what will we do with this information regarding Historia?”

“As the true royal bloodline, we’ll be installing her as queen if everything works out. Though, I suppose we have to find her and Eren first.”

“Well, I think I may have some information on that,” Hange said. “It seems that there may be something to do with the Reiss chapel, the one that was destroyed years ago. We have reason to suspect there may be more to it, perhaps something underground. I would like to send a squad there to investigate.”

“I’m assuming you mean Squad Levi?”

Hange pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “We don’t really have anyone else we can trust with this.”

“And you think we can trust Levi at this point?”

“If Eren and Historia are being held there, they’re being protected by an elite squad of MPs, possibly the same ones that engaged with the squad when they were being transported to the rendezvous with Pixis a few days ago. Who knows if Sloan may be there as well? I’ve already told Levi this, and he’s agreed.”

“It feels a little like manipulation.”

“It’s not ideal; I don’t want to toy with his emotions. I know he’s not functioning quite right at the moment. But who’s to say she’s not there? Or that someone who knows something isn’t? He – we – have no other leads at this point.”

Erwin thought for a moment. “You’re right. No one else would have been able to handle themselves against the attack the other day… We really have no other options.” He shook his head. “This thing with him and Sloan. Isn’t it a bit bizarre to you? Every time something happens it’s like he loses his mind. I know the bond between a husband and wife is strong, but is this how it is? The intensity of it… It all seemed to happen so fast. I don’t remember my parents being like that, or anyone I know for that matter.”

“I suppose I’ve just never had anyone like that,” Hange replied, bringing her hand to her chin. “Did I ever tell you I walked in on them one morning?”

“No.” A small smile played at his lips.

“I guess it wasn’t anything too exciting. She and Levi hadn’t reported for morning briefing. I went to her room to check first. She didn’t want to let me in, but I forced my way past the door.” The corners of her mouth twitched. “Levi was in her bed. It was obvious he’d been there for the night; obvious even more by his state of undress what they’d been doing. I’ve never seen him look so irritated. This was before Sloan disappeared the first time, even when they seemed completely at each other’s throats; like they couldn’t even stand one another. I’d heard some other things even before then, too; they’d been seen sneaking off to the barns together, found in the kitchen after hours… Sloan asked for my discretion that morning, but who knows? You could be a dead man in a few hours.”

“Thank you for that vote of confidence, Hange. No one ever gives me the gossip, it seems.” Erwin thought. “You know she was frequently down there with him, in the underground when we arrested him and his two friends. I tried to get him to tell me where she was as well. I fully intended to take her with them. Bribed him with everything I could think of. He never said a word. I should have known then that there was something different. What sort of an underground thug wouldn’t give up someone when I was promising them citizenship after a short term with the Regiment?”

“How could you promise him that?”

Erwin laughed. “I was kind of just seeing how far I could push him. Sloan was never the goal, but I was intrigued by how far I could get him to go. He was rock solid. I always wondered why he would refuse to give her up after all those things. And then he spent 16 years without her.” Erwin shook his head. “I guess I still don’t understand.”

A silence fell between them.

“I’ll talk to Levi,” Hange said finally, “About the chapel, after the trial. I’ll try to get him to keep it together before then, ask him not to go wild and slaughter everyone the moment he gets there. I feel certain he has been pushed to desperation now.”

“Do what you can, Hange. At this point, we don’t have many leads.”

Hange nodded to him before turning back to the door. She knocked twice and was let out. Erwin heard the lock click behind her, effectively imprisoning him again. He sat down at a small table in the room.

A second later he heard the door open again.

“Did you forget something, Hange?” he asked as he looked up. “Oh, Cassie.”

“Hello, Commander,” she said, giving a shy smile.

“What brings you here?”

“I just wanted to check in on you,” she said. She seemed to be thinking. “To check on your wound.”

“The wound is just fine, Cassie,” Erwin said with a slight laugh. “Don’t be so worried. It’s healed well, thanks to you. No reason to concern yourself over it anymore.”

“I’m glad to hear it, Commander,” she responded. “How are you?”

“Just fine. Waiting for my trial this afternoon. Nothing much more to do in the meantime.”

“No, I mean, _how are you?”_

Erwin studied her face. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you OK?” she looked slightly embarrassed. “Are you worried? Or nervous? Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Everything is fine, Cassie.” The word seemed to echo through the room. _Fine, fine, fine._ “Besides, what would being nervous do? I’m in no position of power here, so being nervous would not change anything.”

“Oh,” was her only response.

“What’s the worst that can happen? I suppose it would be they execute me for treason. With all the comrades I’ve sent to die at the hands of Titans, an execution may be the most fitting for me.”

Cassie’s eyes seemed to turn shiny. She walked across the room to stand across the table from him. “Please don’t speak like that. You are a good man! You don’t deserve a death like that. Don’t you think it would be a death in vain? And who would command the regiment? They need you!” She clenched her fists, looking him in the eyes. “I didn’t know what to think of you at first. Working in the Garrison, I was indoctrinated to have an opinion of the survey corps, and of you. You were painted to be a fanatic, someone who operated with no qualms of throwing people away unnecessarily for this idealistic and unrealistic world you had in your mind. I often asked myself what the point of the corps was – why did there need to be missions outside of the walls? But now I see there was a purpose, and it’s all for the sake of humanity. You do not take the missions or the deaths for granted, and you do not sit on the sidelines. The world you are fighting for is one of transparency and progress, not this oppressive stagnation that we live in now.”

Erwin looked back at her, studying her face before looking at the window. “I believe you think too highly of me, Cassie. The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing, or what world I’m fighting for anymore. I started all this going on the ideas of my father – a man who I believe was murdered for having too many thoughts about Titans and the world that the people in power wanted to stifle. I’ve spent most of my life chasing after his theories, hoping that if I could confirm what he was thinking, maybe he could live on in a way. I have been negligent with my position, my authority, and the lives of my troops and friends, all for the beliefs of a man who died a long time ago.”

Cassie reached across the table to touch the hand that was resting in front of them. It was warm but calloused from the reins of his horse. His hand hadn’t seen the work of many troops on the front line, but they were soft by no means. “I know now that this is not recklessness from the mind of a mad man. This is important work, and I’m happy I have been able to assist in – what I believe – is a historical time.”

He looked at the hand on top of his and back at Cassie before turning his hand over and holding hers. She felt his fingers brush against her palm as his large hand cradled her own.

“Oh, Cassie. Have you developed feelings for me?”

A pink blush broke out across her cheeks, and she turned her head away from his gaze, not sure whether he was chiding her or teasing her. Was it so obvious? What had begun as a business relationship had turned into an innocent infatuation and had morphed into a full-on attraction. She was aware now that she could be driven to absurd lengths for him, doubting if she could stop herself from killing someone if Erwin’s life was on the line. She’d been in his presence for weeks now and had come to know the ins and outs of him. The concern he had for the regiment, the worries for the future, for the people, and for the world.

“I’m not good for a woman, as much as I’d like to return the feelings. You’ve done much more for me than I have for you.”

She recoiled from him as if he’d slapped her. She jerked her hand back out of his and moved back from the table.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression. Of course, you’re my superior. I have the utmost respect for you and know you value me as a soldier.”

“Cassie, please don’t take this the wrong way. I swore long ago I would never involve myself given the nature of my position. It’s too dangerous, even more so now.”

“There’s no need to provide any explanation, Commander. I hope we can continue on with our professional relationship.” She turned and began to walk toward the door. Her hand was on the doorknob, when he was suddenly behind her, his arm wrapping around her waist.

“Do you think it was easy?” he said, his voice husky in her ear. “Seeing you every day, being in the same room, knowing we could never be together, knowing you deserve better?” He took a deep breath, taking her scent into his lungs. “Do you know how often I’ve wanted to be this close to you? To wrap my arms around you and hold you close? But every touch is just a tease.”

“You’re wrong,” she said, leaning back against him. “Do you think I’m in no danger given our current circumstances? The nature of this world is dangerous. That’s why there’s all the more reason to live like there’s no tomorrow. We have no guarantee for any kind of future, whether we are together or not. Why not share in the time we have? You could die this evening.” She pressed her hips back into his and he let out his breath in her ear.

She turned and faced him. His expression was intense, his mouth a tight line. His eyebrows were furrowed together, and she knew she was on thin ice, that he would call it at any moment and send her away to her room. She placed her hands gently on either side of his face and slowly leaned upward. When he didn’t push her away or turn from her, she gently laid her lips upon his.

He placed his hand behind her head and deepened the kiss, opening his mouth to allow her tongue to slip in, with his own following suit. She allowed her hands to roam, flowing down the front of his shirt and feeling the lean muscle underneath. She let her hands slip lower, brushing the front of his pants where a swelling had appeared. He groaned into her mouth before pulling back.

“Cassie, I don’t feel right about this. I don’t want things to go too far.”

“What would be too far?” she rested her hands on his chest and looked up at him with new confidence.

“I’m a prisoner here, in this room. It’s not exactly equipped for love making, and someone may come in.”

“Erwin, we may never have another opportunity. They’re planning to hang you, no matter the outcome of the trial. What more could you worry about?”

“You,” he said. “You. If they find out, if something happens, you could be in danger.” Levi crossed his mind then, a fleeting thought. Was that how he felt?

She turned back to him and walked closer, urging him backward with a hand on his chest. “Let me worry about that.” He stepped back until his legs touched a chair, and she pressed him down into it. Her fingers found their way to his shirt buttons and she began to undo them one by one. She untucked the shirt and removed it, tossing it on the ground. She sat on Erwin’s lap, straddling him, and pressed her mouth to his. His hand found its way to her breast, teasing and tweaking her hardened nipples. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

Erwin tore his mouth from hers to trail kisses down the side of her neck and down her chest. She arched her back to him as he took her nipples into his mouth one by one, suckling them and flicking at her peaks with his tongue. She could feel a wetness between her legs as she rocked on his hardened groin. She gasped as he nipped at her breasts.

“May I..?”

“Do whatever you want,” Erwin said, his eyes hazy with lust.

She stood up and removed her remaining clothes, standing before him completely nude. She could feel the dampness between her legs as she began to unbutton Erwin’s pants.

“If you feel guilty later, just tell yourself I seduced you,” she said as his stiff member was freed. She wrapped her hands around it, satisfied that her fingers could barely brush around his girth.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he said, his voice dark. His rough hand grazed her waist. “I’m afraid if I touch you, you may disappear.”

“Maybe you should touch here,” she said as she guided his hand down to her soft curls and between her legs. She moaned as he found her wetness and began to rub gently. He continued in a circular motion until she finally stopped him. “I don’t think I can go on like that much longer. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been with a man.”

He laughed dryly. “It’s probably been even longer since I’ve been with a woman.”

“Well, we will just do our best, then.” She straddled again, lowered herself down onto his erect cock. She felt his tip at her opening and slowly continued down, feeling a tight tension at the intrusion. They groaned in unison as she suddenly dropped down on his length, her thighs resting on his. She took a moment to allow herself to adjust to the invasion before beginning to rock back and forth. Her feet pushed through the ground, bringing her up to his tip before taking all of him back in. His hand grabbed at her ass, pinching and pulling, pressing her on. He cupped at her breast, caressing. He began to move his hips in motion with hers, meeting her thrusts and pulling back. He stood from the chair, Cassie wrapping her legs around his waist. He laid her back to the table, her ass hanging just off the edge and began to swing his hips, pumping in and out. Cassie’s hand drifted between her legs to caress her clit as he pulled on her hip, pulling her closer and pushing her away. Her other hand found its way to her breast.

“Seeing you like this is going to make me finish,” he said, his voice breathy.

“I thought that was the point?” she smiled at him. She pulled her fingers away from her clit long enough to lick them before returning them below. She could feel the pressure building low in her belly.

“Oh, God,” Erwin said as he closed his eyes.

“Don’t stop,” she urged him on, meeting his thrusts with her own, arching her back to meet him. “Please, Erwin!” She yelled his name, feeling her release clamp down and throb around his cock. He jerked inside her and she felt his hot seed shoot out, filling her. He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. She stroked his sweat soaked bangs back from his forehead.

He withdrew from her and pulled his handkerchief out before wiping himself off. He passed the cloth to Cassie before buttoning his pants. She pulled herself off the table, wiping cum from between her legs before stepping into her own pants. She picked up her shirt and was beginning to button it when Erwin’s arm around her waist spun her. He gave her a brisk kiss on the mouth.

“I liked that very much, being with you,” he said. “I don’t know what the nature of our relationship will be, but I suppose we will just see what happens, if that’s fine with you.”

“Yes, Erwin,” Cassie said with a smile. “That would be very fine.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have to re-edit later. It was a quick chapter, but I don't know if I like the way it flows. Honestly, I'm just trying to find out if Levi and Sloan will ever be reunited. Thus, it feels pretty rushed. Hopefully it's not too bad.

The carriage crashed noisily along the road in the darkness. The few lanterns hung at the front and the sides did little to illuminate the darkness. Several soldiers rode their horses alongside the carriage. Levi twisted the ring around his finger subconsciously. The Chapel had been in the Reiss family for years. A few years previously, the Chapel was destroyed by bandits, leaving nothing but ruins. Recently, the Reiss family had rebuilt, but it was nothing like it’s former glory. Hange theorized there may be more to it than was visible from the outside.

“If we can retrieve Historia and Eren, Erwin plans to install Historia as the new queen,” Hange said. “I’m not quite sure what the purpose of a fake king was, but Rod Reiss was quick to reach out to Historia after the rest of his family was slaughtered by the bandits that destroyed the Chapel.”

“I guess when the rest of your family is dead, even an illegitimate kid is enough,” Levi answered halfheartedly.

“Maybe. Do you think the urge to have an heir is that strong? That he would go to the child of his mistress after others were killed?”

“I don’t know, Hange.”

“I’m sure he could have just remarried and had other kids.”

“I’m not really sure why he would be so interested in her now, after years of her living in secrecy. Maybe there’s something more going on.”

“I’m worried all of this will result in Eren being eaten.” Hange’s eyes darted toward Mikasa.

“Maybe that’s why he needed Historia. Is there something special about the Reiss bloodline? Is that why they were targeted by those bandits? Maybe they weren’t bandits at all, but assassins.”

“It could be,” Hange said. “I hope we’re able to find out something about Sloan, as well. That is a large part of our mission. I just wanted you to know we’re here for you.”

Levi felt his fists clench. “I need to speak to Kenny. I’m assuming he’ll be there. He should know something; he mentioned her while he was trying to blow my head off.”

“We’ll do our best to keep anyone alive we can. We’ll take prisoners to question.”

“Everyone just needs to leave Kenny to me. Don’t engage him. He’s too dangerous. Imagine if you were to try to fight me, and that’s what Kenny is like. No, worse, actually. He has guns.”

Hange nodded silently.

“His last name is Ackerman. Any relation to you?” Levi asked Mikasa.

“Not that I know of,” she responded. “I don’t know much about my dad’s family. We lived deep in the forest at the edge of some mountains. I know we lived there because the Ackerman clan was persecuted, but I don’t know why.”

“Did you ever have a moment where you felt a power grow inside of you? Like a strength you didn’t know you had was suddenly coursing through your veins?”

“I did – when I was younger.”

“Kenny and I had the same moments as well. It must be something to do with the Ackermans.”

The carriage came to a stop in front of the chapel. From the outside, it looked like a small building where worship services were held. They all jumped out of the carriage and walked up, checking the door. It opened easily and they stepped inside.

Levi wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting when he stepped through the threshold. It was just a small building, with a few rows of benches and an alter at the front.

“There has to be something else here,” Armin said.

Levi opened a door and found a broom closet. He felt around the edges of the walls for a hidden door but found nothing.

“Here!” Armin said as he lifted the corner of a rug. A flight of stairs led downward, where a dim light shown at the bottom.

“Does everyone know the plan?” Hange asked.

Connie patted a barrel he was standing beside. Sasha and Jean held up leather bags. They all nodded in unison.

“Then let’s go!”

The barrels made quite the ruckus as they clattered down the stairs, rolling on their sides. Sasha pulled back an arrow on her bow, Connie lighting the arrow as it flew down and struck the barrels. A small explosion sounded through the room, and smoke filled what little area they could see down the stairs.

That was all the cue Levi needed. He shot his hooks through the smoke, flying through the large chamber. It was quite bigger than he was expecting, given the size of the chapel above. The floor, ceiling, and columns were all crafted from a strange blue crystal, similar to ice. The many columns in the room had standing platforms on them, and as he flew through the chamber he counted all the Military Police members.

There were a lot of them.

Signal flares flew past him. He heard another small explosion from below him.

_It’s fucking chaos_ , he thought. A woman appeared on his side, one he recognized from when he’d been ambushed in the city. He flew towards her, readying an attack. He pulled his blade back but saw something out of the corner of his eye.

Gun barrels. A shot went off right by his ears, momentarily deafening him. He flew behind one of the columns, out of the line of fire.

“Aye, Levi,” he heard Kenny’s voice. “I heard your girl disappeared. Was that you that killed all those MPs?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He let out some of the slack on his gear, sinking lower.

“You already took care of a bunch of ‘em when you got her out. Were you just going back for revenge or something?”

Levi could hear him getting closer, the whirr of his gear getting louder.

“I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Kenny zoomed around the column, looking for Levi. But he wasn’t expecting him to be 20 feet lower. Levi flew toward the man on his gear, but Kenny dodged quickly. He swung his knife as Levi brought up his own blade. The clank of metal rang out through the chamber. Sparks flew from the metal with the force the men were pressing into the blades. Levi brought his elbow back swiftly, knocking Kenny’s head sideways and making him fall back. Levi sped off as quickly as he could.

He could hear the gunshots going off above his head, though they didn’t seem to be aiming for him. He quickly realized what was going on as the platforms above him began to rain down, splintered from the gun blasts. Kenny was nearly on top of him, Levi staring straight down the barrels. He reached for the bag tied to his belt and tossed it in front of Kenny as the man pulled the trigger. The oil exploded from the bag, igniting, and obscuring their vision.

Levi flew straight through the flames. Kenny didn’t even know what hit him. Levi felt his blade as it sliced through the side of the man’s torso, as easily as if he were slicing through butter.

“Ow, ow, ow,” Kenny said, grabbing at his side as he retreated. Levi shot his hooks into a column to give chase.

“You’ve really done it this time, Levi,” Kenny said with a grimace.

Out of the corner of Levi’s eye he saw movement. He turned quickly, expecting an attack, but instead saw the blonde woman from before firing a hook straight at Hange.

There was a scream as she fell through the air and landed with a thud on the cavern floor.

Levi grit his teeth as he watched Kenny retreat further back into the chamber, his squad following suit. He felt as though his opportunity to find Sloan was fleeing as well.

“Captain!” he heard a voice call out to him. He couldn’t leave Hange like that. He dropped down to the floor beside Moblit and Armin.

“Hange,” he said. He shook her shoulder. “Moblit, you and Armin take Hange and get out of here. The rest of us will push forward.”

The two men nodded at him before hoisting Hange up and walking back toward the entrance.

“Everyone else, move forward!” As they pushed further forward, a bright light suddenly cut through the cavern.

“Was that a Titan transformation?” Jean said. They flew forward on their gear as quickly as they could.

They entered into a large main chamber. There was what looked to be a ritual stage against the back wall of the room, with ramps of the crystal stone leading up to the stage. A blast of energy was circling through the chamber, the result of the transformation of a large Titan. The Titan was one of the largest they’d ever seen, nearly rivaling the colossal Titan. On the ritual stage Levi could see Eren chained to the ground, with Historia struggling against the waves of energy to try to free him. They raced up the ramps and made it just in time to grab Historia as she was knocked back from Eren.

“Eren!” Mikasa said as she ran to him, dropping to her knees beside him.

“Guys!” Eren said as they grabbed onto him. Historia produced a set of keys to free Eren, and the team each held him in place as they worked to undo the locks. “You have to leave! This place is going to collapse!”

“Shut up, idiot!” Jean barked at Eren.

“Captain!” Eren said as he looked to Levi, who was turning the key in the lock on once of his chains. “Please, tell them to leave me!”

“We’ve made it all this way here to rescue your ass,” Levi said, “Now, we’re not leaving until it’s done.” The last lock was opened, and they all flew back against the wall, no longer tethered by Eren’s chains. Large crystal chunks began to fall from the ceiling and the walls around them, shaken loose by the quakes of the Titan.

“Who is that?” Connie asked. “That’s one of the biggest Titans I’ve ever seen!”

“That’s Rod Reiss!” Historia said. “He wanted me to eat Eren! Apparently, if a Reiss eats the founding Titan, they will have the true founding Titan abilities!”

“Why is this always my fault?” Eren asked, his head in his hands. “I can’t do anything! I’m always getting caught and making you guys risk your lives to come after me. Historia, you should have just eaten me when you had the chance!”

“Shut up, Eren!” Historia said this time. “This whole place is going to collapse any minute!”

“Eren,” Levi said. “You have to do something – make a decision. I’m sorry to keep making you do this, but you’re the only one with any wild cards here.”

The young man looked at his Captain, as if he were thinking of something very hard. He looked around the room, searching for any way to get out of the mess they were in. He seemed to have spotted something on the ground, and suddenly lunged for it. The sound of glass breaking was the last thing Levi noticed before a blinding flash of light burst right before their eyes.

The Attack Titan stood before them. It let out a loud scream and crystalized veins seemed to flow from its feet into the surrounding structures. Levi could recognize the crystal – it was the same material the cavern was made of. And could it be? Yes – it was the same material the Female and Armored Titans could harden into!

“Everyone! Get under Eren!” he yelled to the cadets. They all ran underneath as the ceiling began to crumble around them. Rod Reiss’s Titan was climbing out of the ceiling of the chamber, causing the whole cavern to collapse with him. 

More and more rocks and debris were falling around them, but with every piece that fell it seemed the Attack Titan was crafting more support around them. The entire structure seemed to be quaking around them, possibly from whatever Rod Reiss’s Titan was doing to climb out. After what felt like hours but was in reality only several minutes, the shaking stopped and they emerged from underneath their protector. They all looked around the chamber, taking in the splendor of the Attack Titan’s work.

“Go ahead and cut Eren out,” Levi said. “But be careful. We don’t know if the whole thing may fall away once he’s out.”

Mikasa flew up to the Attack Titan’s head and began to cut at the nape. It took several swings, but Eren was eventually pulled from the crystal.

“It doesn’t seem to be disappearing,” Jean remarked.

Eren seemed a bit stunned as he climbed down what was left of his Titan to join them. He seemed surprised when he viewed his handiwork.

“That vial… I bit a vial that said ‘armor’ on it right before I transformed.” His eyes were as wide and round as saucers.

“That must be it…” Levi looked around. “It took you no time at all. I bet that’s how the walls were made.”

“So that means I can seal the whole in Wall Maria, possibly.”

Levi nodded.

“And then we can see what’s in my basement. What sort of information my father had stored there about the Titans.”

“We can talk about all this later. Let’s stick to the mission at hand.” What mission – he wasn’t sure. Were they focusing on Rod Reiss now? He couldn’t get Sloan out of his mind. He shook his head, trying to figure out what to do.

At that moment, Sasha and Connie returned from their survey of the chamber. They were lowering themselves down from a hole in the ceiling.

“We’ve found an exit! And Hange, Armin, and Moblit are safe!”

“Everyone! Let’s go! We have to go after the Titan.” It pained him to say it, but what choice could he make? Could he let his feelings get in the way of possibly saving the lives of countless citizens? How selfish would he be to tell them to go after Kenny when a huge ass Titan was on the loose?

They all shot their hooks into the ceiling, pulling themselves up and out. It was just a big hole in the ground, the result of all the shaking and blasting of the Titans in the cavern. The carriage was several hundred yards away, clear of the collapsing ground. Armin and Moblit stood nearby, peering over the edge at what Levi guessed must have been Hange.

“Did you see Rod Reiss?” Levi yelled toward the carriage. Armin pointed over Levi’s shoulder. He turned to see the massive Titan slowly crawling away from them leaving indentions in the earth in his wake. Levi began to walk toward the carriage.

“He must be an abnormal. He’s completely ignoring us.”

“He’s certainly moving slowly.”

“He’s too big to move quickly. Like the colossal Titan, their weight makes them slow.”

“It looks like he’s heading straight for Orvud.” Levi leaned over the side of the carriage to peer down on Hange. “Alright, four eyes?”

“I think I will be fine.” Hange winced with the words. “Did you find anything out about Sloan?”

Levi shook his head. “I may have killed Kenny, I’m not sure. We had to retreat back before I could see where he went.”

“I’m sorry, I think it’s my fault. I should have been more careful. I was a distraction.”

“It couldn’t have been helped.”

“How slowly is Rod moving?”

“Painfully slow. Any of us could easily outrun him on foot.”

“If that’s the case, it will be morning before he can make it to Orvud. If you really did injure Kenny, he may not be far off.”

“It’s possible, I guess.”

“Take one of the horses and scout the area. See if you can find him. We’ll trail Rod and meet up with Erwin. Even with all of that you could still beat Rod there, or us in this carriage, for that matter.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Levi, I know you need to find her. I talked you into coming here, and now I’m the reason we haven’t figured anything out. Go. We’ll be fine.”

He didn’t need any more confirmation. He jumped on the back of the nearest horse and began circling the ruins of the chapel, expanding his circle wider and wider. He didn’t want to spend too much time, but he knew it would eat him up inside if he couldn’t find the man, dead or alive.

He’d been searching for about an hour when he found the trail. Bloody drippings, then 3D maneuvering gear tossed by the wayside, as if someone were trying to get rid of excess weight. He followed the blood into a small forest and found Kenny leaning against a tree, his midsection open and bleeding.

He looked like absolute shit; Levi almost felt sorry for him. His skin was sloughing off on the side of his head and face from severe burns; parts of his clothing stuck to him where it appeared to have melted into his skin. He clutched at his left lower abdomen, but Levi could still see the shiny, sticky blood gushing from the deep wound. He didn’t look up as Levi approached him.

“Kenny,” Levi said. The man finally looked up at him, his face pale from blood loss, his expression distant, as if he couldn’t focus on anything.

“Oh, look,” he said with a cough. “It’s the runt… Come to say goodbye?”

Levi bent down and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulling him off the ground. “Where is she?”

“You’ll have… to tell me… who you mean…”

“Sloan.”

“How should I know?... She disappeared from her cell… It wasn’t you…?”

Levi let him go and he fell back against the tree. With the wound he had, it was clear he was close to death. Why bother to lie at that point? It was no more information than he’d gotten when he’d infiltrated their holding cells. He stowed that information away for later, not wanting to come unglued in front of Kenny.

“Kenny, you’re dying. It’s over.”

“You really think so?” Levi heard a clicking sound and realized Kenny had something in his hand. His fingers moved awkwardly as he opened a small brown box. “I stole this from Rod. If I inject myself with this, I’ll turn into a Titan.” The box fell open in his shaking hand and Levi saw a syringe inside, the red Titan serum glinting in the light. “I’ll be a stupid one, but it may buy me some time. I may get lucky enough to eat one of those Titan shifters.”

“You’ve had plenty of time to inject yourself. You’re too weak now to even lift a hand. Why wait if that’s what you were planning?”

“I was just thinking of something… And now I understand. Why he did it…”

“Why who did what?”

Kenny coughed violently then and spat blood out onto the grass beside him.

“Kenny!” Levi said as he went down on his knees and shook the man. “Tell me everything. Why did Rod Reiss need Historia?”

“Only a Reiss… Royal blood… can inherit… the founder... But it chains them to… the first King’s will…”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Even with unlimited power… the first King still didn’t save humanity… wouldn’t… it’s why we… The Ackerman’s… opposed him. And he couldn’t control us, tried to kill us all… Almost did it too. Only a few of us left I reckon… You… Me… I think my brother was killed a few years back, but heard he had a daughter…” Kenny’s eyes went to the silver band on Levi’s finger before he gave a weak laugh. “Oh yea, I almost forgot. You and Sloan…that’s her name, right… She’s Uri’s girl…”

“Who is Uri?”

“Uri is… was… my only friend. The true king of the walls… one of the last real founding Titans… She’s… Uri’s daughter… Looks just like him… He told me to take her away… Didn’t want her mixed up in the royal politics… Didn’t want her to have to be next founder… She had a different name back then… Ariella Reiss, was what he called her… Nearly broke him when he had to send her away…”

“ _Ariella Reiss?”_ The name rolled around in his mouth like a fine wine. Levi shook his head. “No. She had parents. I saw her father. You’re wrong.”

“Yea… parents I brought her to... An older couple… couldn’t have their own… seemed pleased as punch when a baby girl showed up… out of the blue…”

Her father had always seemed much too old… almost more like a grandfather.

“Do you think I’m an idiot? Why would I believe such bullshit?”

“Why would I lie?... You said yourself… I’m dying…”

“If that’s true, then Sloan is the true queen?”

“It would… seem that way… she’s royal blood… and here you are… fucking the queen… assuming you’ve consummated your vows… the Ackermans have really come a long way…”

Levi narrowed his eyes at Kenny.

“Why do we have the same last name? How did you know my mother?”

“I was just her brother… Not even a great one at that…”

“Why were the Ackermans important enough to matter to the king? That he wanted us dead? Anyone could have opposed him.”

“We are a different race… We are warriors… We were bred to protect the Royal Line… to be their right hand… I can understand why… you would want her…”

“What does that mean?”

“Ariella. Sloan. You’re drawn to her… because you could recognize she was royal blood… even before you knew it…”

It was like a kick to the gut. He was trying to absorb the information, but his head was spinning.

“I felt the same… for Uri… Like a supernatural magnetism… but, I didn’t want… to climb between his legs… and bump uglies…” Kenny laughed then, a dry sound which turned into him coughing blood onto the grass.

Were his feelings for her complete fabrication? A byproduct of years of breeding warriors to protect royal lines? Was it not love or affection at all, only loyalty and guardianship? Could he feel it, even when they were kids, or teenagers, that she was royalty and he was made to protect her?

Sal was the true queen… Not Historia. Or, should he say, _Ariella Reiss._ Did that change anything? Should they remove Historia and replace her with Sloan? He tried to imagine her sitting in the throne, a golden crown with dozens of jewels glistening on her head. It wasn’t hard to imagine, but she was already _his_ queen, despite the new information. He tried to shake his head. Uri – her father – sent her away because he was worried she would be forced to take on the role of queen and founder. There was something to be said there. He didn’t want his daughter having the same role he had, living the same life. Was it that terrible? So terrible that to protect her he decided to completely remove her from the situation and never see her again?

Kenny seemed to be fading fast. His head was beginning to nod. The pool of blood from his side was getting larger and larger.

“Kenny… Back then… why did you leave me?”

“Feeling sentimental, LevI?” he half coughed – half laughed. “I left because I couldn’t be some damn kid’s dad.” With that, he picked up the box of Titan serum and thrust it into Levi’s chest. Levi’s hand went to the box and looked down at the contents inside.

“Kenny…” he said and looked back at the man’s face, but his dead eyes were the only response.

* * *

Levi had ridden his horse toward Orvud as quickly as he could. He passed Rod Reiss’s Titan along the way. The Titan was still slowly crawling along, dragging its face on the ground. A putrid steam was rising from crevices and holes in its skin. Levi couldn’t tell if he were nauseous from having to see and smell the disgusting Titan or from still being unable to locate Sloan.

He rode through the gates into Orvud district and made his way to the stables before finding his way into the military headquarters.

It didn’t seem like he’d missed much, despite his detour. When he opened the doors to the board room, hardly no one noticed he’d entered. Instead, they all seemed to be arguing with one another.

“We need to evacuate the district! Initiate our emergency communications to tell the citizens!”

“That won’t work,” Hange said. “Everyone needs to stay in place.”

“That’s homicidal and suicidal!”

“That Titan is an abnormal. If we evacuate, the Titan will sense that the people have left and instead will just go to wherever the people have gone to. In this case, the Titan would breach Wall Sheena.”

The Military men all turned to stare at Hange, some of them with their mouths open.

“We’ll have to use the citizens of Orvud as bait,” Erwin said. “But, in order to save everyone, have your Garrison men at the ready. If things don’t go as planned, send them out door to door to announce an emergency evacuation drill. This will hopefully send everyone leaving before the Titan breaches the district, and we can come up with another plan.”

“If what you say about this Titan is true, we have no other options.”

“It is one of the largest Titans we’ve seen, and as such, poses the largest target. Have all your cannons mounted on top of the wall. We’ll utilize all our resources to stop it.”

With that, everyone began to hurry out to begin their separate duties.

Levi set the syringe container down on the table in front of Erwin and Hange.

“Kenny Ackerman gave that to me before he died,” Levi said. “Apparently, if you inject someone with it, and they eat a Titan shifter, that person will turn into a Titan shifter.”

“So you were able to find him?” Hange asked as she gently touched the container.

_Did I ever…_ He wouldn’t tell them, wasn’t even sure if he would tell Sal, if he ever found her. His stomach was queasy. No, _if_ wasn’t an option. _When_ he found her. He wasn’t sure how it would change things. Would she feel differently about him?

“Yes, but he didn’t know what happened to her. He thought I’d helped her escape.” He left out all the other information; him being a bred warrior, Kenny being his uncle, Sloan being Ariella Reiss, the real, true queen, more than Historia.

Hange and Erwin looked at each other.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Hange said. “What can we do?”

“I have no idea,” he responded. “I have no clue who would have taken her. It’s like she vanished into thin air.”

“Surely if she had escaped on her own she would have sent word to us by now.”

Erwin put a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “Once we get this Titan taken care of, we’ll devote our full attention to finding her.”

There was a slight knock on the door, and they looked up to see a cadet standing awkwardly, not wanting to interrupt.

“Commander,” he said, acknowledging Erwin. “There is someone here to see Captain Levi.”

A man stepped into the door and walked into the room.

“Levi Ackerman,” he said. “You’re a difficult man to track down. I’m here to deliver a message to you.” The man extended an envelope. Levi let out a breath as he read his name in the familiar loopy script on the front. Sloan’s handwriting. He’d never been so relieved at reading his own name, until relief quickly turned to fear. What would it say? Was it her last letter before she was killed? Had the man in front of her murdered her? What if she were alive, but she never wanted to see him again? He began to open the envelope, preserving the paper in case it was his last memento of her.

_Levi,_

_I’m safe as far as I can tell. They have me in the underground. They say I’m not a prisoner. I’m not sure how long they’ll keep me here. I will try to get back to you soon._

_Sal_

He looked up at the man, his eyes blazing hot.

“I do not want to fight you,” the man said. “I know you could easily take me down.”

“Who the fuck are you? And why are you holding her?”

“I can take you to her.”

Levi felt his body relax.

“We can leave now.”

“Yes,” Levi said. He looked over at Erwin and Hange. They both nodded solemnly. “Yes, let’s go now.”

“No weapons.”

“I don’t have anything on me.”

“I will trust you,” the man said. “But I’ve been fooled by an Ackerman before. I’m hoping that Sloan Emery choosing you means that you are a man with great integrity.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Probably the opposite, really.”

“Fair enough.” A small smile played on the man’s lips. “Shall we leave?”


	27. Chapter 27

It had only been one day since their encounter. Cassie wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. She’d sat by quietly during Erwin’s trial, though she was shocked when he entered the room. It was obvious he’d been beaten. The Military Police were behind it, she was sure of it. They also had Captain Sloan Emery held somewhere. Cassie still felt embarrassed by their conversation at the Regiment headquarters, and a bit defensive and insulted, but she was still concerned when no one could turn up any sign of her. Captain Levi was nearly beside himself. Cassie could see he was sinking back into the dark hole he’d been in before. No, this was different. More animalistic, sadistic, homocidal. She shuddered when she thought of the look she’d seen in his eyes recently. He never seemed to register her presence when they were in the same room. She wasn’t sure if he really didn’t notice or simply didn’t care. She suspected it was the latter. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier would never miss any detail. One didn’t survive in the Regiment as long as he had without being able to quickly analyze every situation.

He’d slaughtered half a dozen MPs looking for Captain Sloan.

If that wasn’t romance, Cassie didn’t know what was.

And here she was, pining over Erwin, wondering why he hadn’t called on her again when it had only been one damn day. She pressed her fingers to her temples. He was so busy. They’d managed to trick the government officials into admitting to everyone that they would rather save themselves than all the citizens. When they thought a Titan had breached the wall, they ordered the gates closed to refugees. Luckily, it had all been a trick concocted by Erwin and Commander Pixis, but the result was the same.

The officials were quickly stripped of their duties, to say the least.

Commander in Chief Zackly was busy doing God knows what with some of them.

Cassie didn’t like to think about it.

Had she expected Erwin to come find her after he was cleared of the charges? He obviously would have had a lot of work to catch up on. He’d been clear that he didn’t have any intentions of a relationship. When she sat down she was still a bit sore, but she had to admit she wouldn’t mind doing _that_ again.

She’d made up her mind. She would just go seek him out herself. She didn’t necessarily expect anything to happen, but she was at least interested in seeing him since his release.

The hallway was empty as she made her way to the room he had been moved into. As she drew closer, she could hear a conversation through the door. Erwin’s voice, with its deep, soothing timber, accompanied by Pixis’s more aged tones.

“I have to say, Erwin, if the coup hadn’t gone off so easily, I was ready to side with the nobles.”

Erwin gave a short laugh. “I appreciate your honesty and confidence, Dot.”

“You’ve heard what they’re saying though, right? That if the true king is able to gain some form of control over Eren, they can wipe everyone’s memories? And this will be all for nothing.”

“No, I hadn’t heard that,” Erwin said, a bit of hesitation to his voice.

“I don’t know the ins and outs of it, but that’s just what I’ve been hearing.”

“Well, I suppose it’s a good thing Levi and Hange are already on their way to take care of things. I’ll be leaving shortly to join them.”

“Indeed.”

The men seemed to be finishing up, so Cassie knocked slightly on the door. She opened the door and went inside at Erwin’s beckoning.

“Evening, Commanders,” she said in greeting.

“Sergeant,” Erwin responded. A purple circle colored his left eye and there was a cut across his lip. Cassie could feel a fire break out over her chest.

“Ah, Cassie. I suppose now with Erwin’s arm patched up and Levi taken care of, you’ll be returning to your post in the Garrison?”

“Erm.” She wasn’t expecting that sort of conversation. “I guess I haven’t given it much thought.”

“Let’s not be too hasty just yet, Dot,” Erwin said. “We never know when we might need a good medic.”

“Of course, Erwin. I suppose you’ll get more use out of her than the Garrison will. And with Levi still… the way he is… and Sloan…” the older man seemed to shake his head. “Those are some thoughts I’ve been trying to keep at bay for a bit. Erwin, you will let me know as soon as you hear anything, correct?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, in that case, I’d best be off. I’m sorry for leaving on such a melancholy note. It’s time for a drink I believe.” The older man let himself out, leaving them alone.

Erwin crossed the room and gently closed the door. “I hope I wasn’t out of line to suggest you stay in the Regiment for a bit longer.”

“No, Commander, it’s quite alright with me.”

“Just call me Erwin, Cassie, no need to be so formal.”

“It’s nice to hear you say that.” _Erwin_ , she didn’t add, but her heart jumped in her chest.

“Unless you would like to maintain formalities…?”

She laughed a bit. “I don’t believe it’s necessary.”

“Good,” he said as he touched her arm. His hand made its way to the side of her neck and he bent down to kiss her gently on the lips.

“Are you alright?” she asked as she touched the bruising on his face.

“Nothing that won’t heal.” He brushed her hair off her shoulder. “I can’t stop thinking about yesterday.”

A heat broke out over her cheeks and down below. She looked away quickly, suddenly embarrassed. “I can’t either.”

“I have to admit, if I were going to be hung that is one hell of a last afternoon.”

She laughed nervously. “I’m glad things didn’t come to that.” The thought of watching him hang on the gallows had plagued her thoughts all during the trial. His mention of it was a little too close to home.

“Perhaps we could find some time in the near future to meet again?” His hand rested on her waist, pulling her gently into him.

“Do you have time now?” She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her. She had never been so forward before. Her hand went to the front of his pants where she felt him hardening against her.

“Unfortunately not, though there’s nothing I’d rather do. I need to meet Levi and Hange by the Chapel, if I can make it in time.” He bent down to kiss her again, this time deeper, more urgent. “When I come back, I’d like for us to spend time properly.”

“Was there something specific you had in mind?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, a bed, for one thing.”

“Would you like for me to come with you? To the Chapel, I mean.”

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea.” He shook his head gently. “I don’t know what to expect. I know Levi had quite a time when he was ambushed in the city the other day. It’s a miracle they made it back alive. I suspect it will be the same individuals. It’s quite possible this could be more dangerous than fighting Titans.”

“Then there’s all the more reason to bring a medic with you.”

He seemed to be studying her carefully. “I believe I may understand now…”

“Understand what?”

“Levi.” A small smile played at his lips. “And why he never gave Sloan up all those years ago. Why he kept trying to force her to transfer back out of the Regiment.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“I’m hesitant to bring you with me because I’m concerned for your safety.”

“Well, Commander, with all due respect, what would you expect of a medic in the Regiment? Is the battlefield not the most important place for me to be?” She grabbed his bolo tie and pulled him down to her, nipping at his lips. “You want me to stay in the Regiment – you better use me while you can.”

* * *

Jonathan Delaney wiped the trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. He turned his head and spat, but the metallic taste would need more than that to go away. The floor of the ring practically vibrated with energy as the crowd screamed and yelled.

“Nice touch letting him sock you one,” Reid said as he handed a cup of water to Jonathan. “Let him think he’s putting up a good fight.”

“That was an accident, actually,” Jonathan said as he swished the water around in his mouth before spitting it out. “I got distracted.”

“Just as long as you win the overall. You know how much is riding on this.”

A small crowd was forming a few feet from the ring. Many of the men were shouting, dollar bills in their hands as they tried to thrust them forward to the bookmaker. Some of the men clenched their teeth, their brows furrowed and their cheeks red as they hollered, and a few seemed to be vomiting in the corner.

Despite his track record, people still consistently bet against him. He wasn’t the biggest guy – he was only 5’5” and weighed a little over 130 pounds – and he was young, but he thought maybe that was what made him better. He was faster than every opponent he’d ever faced and way smarter too. Every match it seemed like they would pit him against bigger and dumber opponents. The bigger they were, the easier the match, he’d found. It also seemed like there was a direct correlation to how big they were and how stupid they were. In fact, the only matches he’d ever lost had been his own fault. He knew he could be overconfident at times, and it had cost him some fights he should have won otherwise.

He wasn’t sure where he’d inherited it from. His dad was a blacksmith, and while he was huge – over six feet tall and nearly 250 pounds – he was a gentle giant and would never dream of throwing hands with someone for fun or money. Even his mom and younger brother were bigger than him, at 5’7” and 5’11” respectively. They were all an easy-going group. It wasn’t fun being the runt of the family, especially with a younger brother, but he took it in stride. He’d even beaten up several of his brother’s bullies, despite the difference in size.

He looked nothing like his family, with their sandy hair and tan complexions.

But then again, he knew nothing about the woman who gave birth to him or the man that had romanced her. If that’s what you would call it.

The man from across the ring was staring daggers at him. His bald head was shiny and red in the lantern light. Sweat was dripping down his face. He was smiling as if he were proud of himself for landing a punch on the younger man.

“Gentlemen,” the referee said as he motioned for them to step toward the center of the ring. Jonathan walked toward the center to face the larger man. They both stooped down, fists raised to protect their faces. The referee stood between them. “Final round. Let’s have a good, clean fight.” Jon wondered what a clean fight was. Was it fighting a kid half your size and being proud when you landed a punch on them?

“AND….. FIGHT!!”

The man faked toward Jon and he jumped back, hopping from one foot to the other. The fake outs were common in these fights. It was all about catching your opponent off guard to hopefully get an opening. Jon faked to the left but the man brought his arms up, leaving his side open. Jon gave a swift kick to the man’s ribs, but it felt like he’d kicked a boulder. It was like his kick barely registered. The man swung his fist and Jon blocked with his forearm. Bad decision. The man quickly brought his knee up. It didn’t have far to go before it made contact with Jon’s chin, rattling his brain and sending him stumbling backwards. He was sure he’d chipped a tooth. The man went after him, his arms open to grab the younger boy. Jon skipped easily to the side, trying his best to shake off the hit. After landing the successful knee, the man seemed to be getting desperate for a follow up. The best time to finish a match was right after landing such a major hit. Waiting too long risked your opponent recovering and gaining the upper hand.

The desperation was making the large man even clumsier. Jon watched his movements carefully, dodging as the man tried to grab his face. He faked to the side again and – bingo! Jon jumped as high as he could and landed a knee to the side of the man’s jaw. The man fell down, shaking the ring. Jon wasted no time in falling on the man’s back, wrapping his legs around his waist and hooking his right arm around the man’s head. He squeezed the man’s neck in his elbow, his left arm acting as a fulcrum to control the tension. The crowd was going wild around them.

Jonathan squeezed and squeezed as hard as he could. There was no way he would let go; no one could pry him off until the man yielded. He could see the back of the man’s ear from his vantage point, and it was changing colors slowly from pink to red to blue and now to purple. The man was kicking his legs and clawing at Jon’s arms and legs, but there was no tapping or waving to signal a surrender. Sputters and gurgles were coming from the man’s mouth and throat as he tried to reach over his head to hit at Jon.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Jon felt the man go limp in his arms. He continued his hold until the referee waved his arms, signaling the end of the match.

Jon jumped up, the man falling lifelessly to the side. He’d be alright after a short nap. Jon ran around the ring, pumping his arms in the air, smiling and shouting. He did a backflip over the man’s body. Some men in the audience were celebrating, while others seemed to be stomping on their hats and breaking their cigars in half. Jon looked over at the gambling table. Reid was already there, talking to the bookmaker.

The referee held Jon’s hand up in victory and half the crowd seemed to cheer while the other half booed.

He climbed over the ropes and jumped down from the ring. The bookmaker was counting out the bills in Reid’s hand as Jon strolled over.

“Brilliantly done, Jon,” Reid said as he waved the stacks at him. “This should keep us covered for a while.”

“As long as those greedy assholes don’t keep wanting more.” Jon picked up his shirt and pulled it over his head, not caring about the sweat and blood touching the fabric. He’d have to get cleaned up later. There was a bath house a few blocks down with water from a hot spring. They’d made enough in bets that night that he could probably afford to treat himself…

He shook his head. Starting a revolution had many costs, and they would need every cent of his winnings.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” Reid asked as they walked down the sidewalk.

“Go home, get cleaned up, and go to sleep.”

“Really? You’re no fun anymore. We’re 16 years old. You act like an old man.”

“I’m just trying to be good. I don’t want to get in anymore trouble or my dad will make me enlist.” They may have threatened before, but now his parents were dead serious. The last straw was when he’d been caught in an alley with his hand up a girl’s skirt.

_That’s probably what your birth parents were up to when you happened to come along, Jon. It’s not right for you to be doing that at your age! If I catch you messing around like that again, it will be straight to the military!_

All he knew was his birth mother was very young. Jon didn’t want to be responsible for a kid. Now, he spent his days going from home to the blacksmith shop and then to fights to raise money. A few times a week he would go to the underground. Much of the prize money he won from fighting was spent on bribing the military police that stood guard at the entrance. Another good chunk was spent on supplies. Some supplies for the resistance, some supplies to hand out to the people in the underground – food, clothes, things to repair their homes with. Moriarty was hopeful that they could recruit more people interested in investing in their shared future, but so far no one wanted to throw their hat in. Too risky. No one wanted to rock the boat.

They were all sheep. Sheeple. Baaahhhh. Too comfortable in their own little worlds, even if there was the possibility for something greater.

“Hi, boys!” Jon heard as he and Reid continued their walk.

“Hi, ladies,” Reid said to a group of three young women. “What’s a lovely group of girls such as yourselves doing out this late? You don’t want anyone to get ideas about what you’re doing out here, do you?”

The girls just giggled.

“Jon, I haven’t seen you in a while,” one of the girls – Mary – said shyly. “I was actually hoping I may run into you tonight. Did you have a match?”

“Oh, yea,” he said, running a hand through his black hair.

“Did you get hit? It looks like you’re bruising already.”

“Yea, he landed one on me this time.”

“That’s not like you. Is something bothering you?”

“No, nothing like that. Just got distracted I guess.”

“Oh,” she said as she awkwardly clasped and unclasped her hands. “I was wondering if you’d like to… I mean… finish what we were doing the other night…?” She reached out a hand to touch his chest.

“N-no,” he stammered, doing his best to dodge back out of her reach. “No, thank you. My dad has really been on my case lately. He would go ballistic if he found out. In fact, I need to get going now.”

“Really, Jon?” Reid asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Yea, I mean, you can stay if you want, Reid. But I’ll see you guys later, sorry.” A look of disappointment crossed Mary’s face. He tucked his hands into his pockets and hurried off before anyone tried to argue. He thought about Mary on the way home. Was she the one he’d been caught in the alley with? Wait, no… That had to have been Emily. Or was it? Oh, now he remembered. Emily’s shirt, Mary’s skirt. He knew there were others too, he just couldn’t remember. He was lucky they hadn’t all gotten together to beat him silly. But there was no point in thinking about it now. He was just going to keep his head down, keep his nose clean, and take care of business.

Delaney’s Blacksmith Shop was dark for the night. It wasn’t much further to his home. He knew his dad would be up waiting. They were fine with him fighting since it kept him out of trouble. After all, what was the worst that could happen? He might get some sense knocked into him. So far, he’d won most of his fights, and the ones he lost had been easy enough to bounce back from. They would keep a tight leash on the woman troubles, though.

“Jonathan,” a voice called to him. A man stepped out of the shadows. He had a bald head and a scar on his left cheek. His black clothes were the perfect camouflage in the night. He looked to be in his fifties, with his aged skin and wrinkles around his eyes.

“Moriarty,” Jon replied.

“How was your match?”

“Fine, good. No problems.”

“That’s good to hear. I have something I need you to do; take Nate with you to help.”

“I’ll have to ask my dad first.”

“Would you like for me to talk to him?”

“No, actually. It’s getting harder and harder to get his permission for these sorts of things.” His parents didn’t seem to understand. At first they thought he was just some rebellious teen, that _it_ wouldn’t go anywhere.

_What’s the point of it all, Jonathan?_ His father had asked him.

_Aren’t you pissed off living like this? Being a slave to a government that doesn’t care about you? Do you think if the Titans breached the wall again they’d do anything to help us?_

 _Why do you even think of these things? This is the way things have always been! And they’ll always be this way! So there’s no use worrying over it, and I don’t know that I want you going back down to that_ club _either._

His dad wanted him to take over the blacksmith shop with his younger brother, Eric. It wasn’t a bad gig, and Jon liked working with the metal and he was good at it, but something just didn’t sit right. He couldn’t just roll over and accept things. Something inside of him was always pushing him forward, telling him not to settle.

He’d heard his parents whispering one night, like they did so often. It wasn’t eavesdropping, their voices just carried under the door of the room he and Eric shared.

_Do you think it’s his parents? Maybe there was something wrong with them and that’s why he’s this way._

_Maybe his mother was a prostitute. His father was probably a criminal. They were probably messing around in some alley just like he does with those girls._

_I’m so worried he’s going to get some girl pregnant._

_At least he’ll always have the blacksmithing shop. He would have to grow up real quick._

_I’ve just never heard of a boy his age being so concerned with such things. It just doesn’t seem right._

Maybe they were right. Maybe his birth parents were fuck ups, and they’d passed their fuck upness down to him, making his brain short wire in some way.

It was part of the reason why he liked Moriarty. Moriarty never made him feel like his thoughts were unrealistic, like his concerns unfounded. The older man challenged his intellect quite frequently, inspiring him to think of alternatives in a world that was always so black and white. He’d found Jon after a fight one night and pulled him aside.

_Do you want to be a part of a revolution?_

_Hell fuckin yea._

It was all downhill from there.

“This errand tonight is a bit more dangerous, but I feel like you’re ready for it. I know you can take care of this.”

“OK… what did you have in mind?”

“A jailbreak.”

Jon scoffed at him. “I’m assuming you have a plan already?”

“Oh, yes. And all the supplies you’ll need.”

“Is it local? My dad wants me at the shop in the morning. He’s been pretty pissed off lately. He’d be mad if I didn’t make it.”

“It’s at the Military Police Headquarters.”

“Are you fucking insane?”

“Why don’t you and I meet up with Nate and I’ll go over all the details with you two?”


End file.
